스크립트
00:00:00Video games have cheat codes. Up, up, down, down, and suddenly you've got 30 extra lives.
00:00:05Well, after six decades on this planet, I've discovered that life has cheat codes too.
00:00:10It's just that nobody ever hands you the list. So, I made one.
00:00:15I've written seven books about human behavior, raised three children, stayed married for three decades,
00:00:20and made, conservatively, 10,000 mistakes.
00:00:24What survived are 30 cheat codes in five levels. How to decide, how to deal with people, how to get things done,
00:00:32how to work, and how to live. One might require avoiding your relatives, and the most important one, one glass.
00:00:39Let's start the game.
00:00:40Quick note before we start, I cover a lot in this video, so I put all 30 cheat codes on a single page
00:00:47that you can download for free. The link is below.
00:00:51Level one decisions. Code number one. Make your decisions using an ordinary Tuesday, not a fantasy Saturday.
00:00:59When you're choosing a house, a job, a city, any big thing, don't select it based on its best day.
00:01:05Hey, that house has an amazing entertainment space you'll use four times a year.
00:01:09That job comes with a glamorous conference in Lisbon.
00:01:12That sounds great, but what will the commute feel like on a Tuesday?
00:01:17What will you actually be doing on the job at 2.30 on a Tuesday afternoon?
00:01:22What will it feel like to cook in that kitchen on a regular Tuesday night?
00:01:27When I left working in the White House to work for myself, this was the standard I used.
00:01:32Sure, I'd give up a few days each year of extreme excitement, but 51 out of 52 Tuesdays would be better.
00:01:40Code two.
00:01:41For reversible decisions, decide fast.
00:01:43Don't spend three weeks agonizing over something you can undo in three minutes.
00:01:47Some decisions are one-way doors.
00:01:50Once you walk through, there's no easy return.
00:01:53Those deserve time and care.
00:01:55But most decisions are two-way doors.
00:01:58Take the class.
00:01:59Go on the date.
00:01:59Accept the brief gig.
00:02:00If it doesn't work, walk back through.
00:02:03Save your agonizing for decisions that actually deserve it.
00:02:07Number three.
00:02:08Ask, what would change my mind?
00:02:11If your answer is nothing, you're not thinking.
00:02:14You're defending.
00:02:15Before starting an important project, taking a new job, or moving to a new city, find one smart person who thinks it's a terrible idea.
00:02:23You don't have to obey them, but you do have to hear them.
00:02:26Number four.
00:02:27Before deciding what to do, ask what happens if you do nothing.
00:02:33Inaction itself is a decision, one with consequences.
00:02:36But some problems disappear when you stop feeding them.
00:02:39Some conflicts resolve themselves.
00:02:41Some opportunities become clearer with time.
00:02:44That's why, in certain situations, the best advice isn't, don't just stand there and do something.
00:02:49It's, don't just do something.
00:02:51Stand there.
00:02:52Number five.
00:02:52Make lots of small bets.
00:02:54Take risks whose upside could change your life and whose downside won't ruin it.
00:03:00Launch the side project.
00:03:01Submit the article.
00:03:02Check out the conference.
00:03:03Try the idea on a small scale.
00:03:05You don't always find the big thing through one heroic leap.
00:03:09Sometimes you find it through a portfolio of small experiments.
00:03:13Most of life is shots on goal.
00:03:16And number six, judge decisions by how you made them, not only by how they turned out.
00:03:22A smart decision can produce a bad result.
00:03:25A dumb decision can get lucky.
00:03:27So, don't let one good outcome convince you that your process was brilliant.
00:03:32And don't let one bad outcome convince you that your process was flawed.
00:03:36Ask, did I use the information available?
00:03:38Did I consider alternatives?
00:03:40And did I understand the risks?
00:03:42You don't control the universe, but you do control the decision.
00:03:45Level one, complete.
00:03:47Level two is about people.
00:03:49And it opens with the mistake I've made more than any other.
00:03:53Seven.
00:03:54Before solving someone's problem, ask what they want from you.
00:03:58Advice, help, or just company.
00:04:01Not every problem somebody tells you about is an invitation to solve it.
00:04:05Yeah, sometimes they want an answer.
00:04:07But many times, they just want to be heard.
00:04:12So, before going into superhero problem-solving mode, ask.
00:04:17Number eight, assume incompetence before malice.
00:04:21What looks like hostility is often distraction, disorganization, or somebody having a terrible day.
00:04:27Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:04:28Some people are jerks with bad motives, no question.
00:04:31But the world contains fewer enemies and more overwhelmed people than we think.
00:04:35So, begin with the more generous explanation.
00:04:39You can always revise it if the evidence changes.
00:04:42Number nine, notice who asks you questions.
00:04:45Curiosity is an underrated diagnostic for friendship, for romance, for collaboration.
00:04:50So, pay attention to who is genuinely curious about you.
00:04:55And pay even closer attention to who never is.
00:04:58Number ten, don't keep score in relationships you want to keep.
00:05:04I called last time.
00:05:05I paid for dinner.
00:05:06I helped her move.
00:05:07He still hasn't thanked me.
00:05:08Careful.
00:05:09Generosity stops being generosity when you maintain a spreadsheet.
00:05:14Strong relationships become roughly reciprocal over time, but they aren't always equal in every moment.
00:05:21Number eleven, build an infrastructure for friendship.
00:05:25Hey, let's get together sometime.
00:05:27That's how people slowly disappear from your life.
00:05:30So, make recurring plans with people you care about.
00:05:33A monthly dinner, a Saturday morning walk, a standing phone call.
00:05:36I have a regular gathering with six good friends where we eat, drink, and offer one another advice.
00:05:41Without a recurring date, I suspect we'd see one another twice a year and spend half the evening saying,
00:05:48Hey, we should do this more often.
00:05:49And when you do want to see somebody, make a specific invitation.
00:05:54Let's have a beer Thursday at six beats, let's get together.
00:05:58One is a plan.
00:06:00The other is goodbye in slow motion.
00:06:03Number twelve, eliminate toxic people.
00:06:07If someone consistently diminishes you, damages you, or poisons your life, get rid of them.
00:06:14Unfortunately, this includes relatives.
00:06:17Shared DNA isn't a license to treat you poorly.
00:06:20Distance isn't always cruel.
00:06:22Sometimes distance is an act of wisdom.
00:06:26Okay, deep breath.
00:06:28Level three is lighter.
00:06:30It's about actually getting things done.
00:06:32Level three, productivity.
00:06:34Number thirteen, define done before you begin.
00:06:37Otherwise, every project quietly becomes an infinite undertaking.
00:06:41What will finished look like?
00:06:43Decide that first.
00:06:44And when you're near the end, close to the finish, take a page from Lorne Michaels, the creator of Saturday Night Live.
00:06:51He once said, we don't go on because we're ready.
00:06:55We go on because it's 11.30.
00:06:58So many times when I'm writing something or working on a speech or a video, I just say to myself, dude, it's 11.30.
00:07:05Number fourteen, make the first step embarrassingly small.
00:07:10Don't write the book.
00:07:12Write three sentences.
00:07:13Don't get in shape.
00:07:14Put your shoes by the door.
00:07:16Don't organize the house.
00:07:17Clean one drawer.
00:07:19The size of the first step and the odds of taking it are inversely related.
00:07:23Make the first move so small, you'd be embarrassed not to do it.
00:07:29Fifteen, let it be easy.
00:07:33Difficulty is not evidence of virtue.
00:07:36Use the rotisserie chicken.
00:07:38Listen to the audio book.
00:07:40Buy the pre-cut vegetables.
00:07:41Take the shortcut when the shortcut actually works.
00:07:44Somewhere along the way, we absorb the idea that if something isn't excruciatingly hard, it doesn't count.
00:07:51That's just self-inflicted pain with a superiority complex.
00:07:56Number sixteen, prepare tomorrow's first move tonight.
00:08:00Make starting so easy that your morning self, who, let's be honest, you cannot trust, has almost no decisions to make.
00:08:08Open the document.
00:08:09Set out the running clothes.
00:08:10Put the unpleasant task on your calendar with a day, a time, and a place.
00:08:14A few weeks ago, I scheduled clean my top dresser drawer for $2.30 on a Wednesday.
00:08:20And at half past two on that Wednesday, I opened that drawer and removed roughly 47 mismatched socks.
00:08:26I was very proud of myself.
00:08:27Willpower is usually unreliable.
00:08:30Appointments are usually unavoidable.
00:08:33Number seventeen, keep a waiting for list.
00:08:36I learned this one from David Allen's Getting Things Done.
00:08:38We're usually pretty good at tracking what we need to do, but we're much worse at tracking what other people owe us.
00:08:44The proposal somebody is reviewing.
00:08:46The document somebody promised to send.
00:08:48The answer you need before you can move forward.
00:08:51Write those things down in one place.
00:08:53Otherwise, your brain will keep trying to remember them, usually at three in the morning.
00:08:58Number eighteen, treat constant busyness as a warning, not a status symbol.
00:09:04When I ask someone, hey, how are you?
00:09:06And they answer, oh, I'm so busy.
00:09:08I become suspicious.
00:09:10Sometimes busyness means your life is full, but sometimes it means you're refusing to make choices.
00:09:15You're ignoring priorities, or you're just feeding your own ego.
00:09:19When everything feels urgent, stop adding, subtract, cancel something, decline something,
00:09:27leave some white space for a walk, a strange book, or an unexpected conversation,
00:09:31or just 15 minutes of staring out the window.
00:09:34Not every square on the calendar needs to produce something.
00:09:37Now, that's the machinery of getting things done, but most of us don't do it alone.
00:09:42Level four, work.
00:09:44Nineteen, send the recap email.
00:09:47After an important meeting, send a short note.
00:09:50Here's what we decided.
00:09:51Here's who is doing what.
00:09:53Here's when it's due.
00:09:54This helps everybody else.
00:09:56But it also helps you, because translating a conversation into writing forces you to understand
00:10:02what actually happened.
00:10:03Now, AI can help organize that note, but don't let it do all the thinking.
00:10:08The thinking is part of the benefit.
00:10:11Number twenty, make your boss's life easier.
00:10:15Here's a lesson from every workplace ever.
00:10:18Bosses divide employees into two categories.
00:10:21People who make my life harder, and people who make my life easier.
00:10:26Especially early in your career, make sure you're in the second category.
00:10:31Understand what your boss is trying to accomplish.
00:10:33Help her achieve her goals.
00:10:35Take useful things off her plate.
00:10:37That's how you become indispensable.
00:10:39Number twenty-one, ask for the deadline, then ask for the real deadline.
00:10:44When do you need this, and when will somebody actually use this?
00:10:48Those are two very different questions.
00:10:51One answer might be Friday.
00:10:53The other might be the board meeting three Thursdays from now.
00:10:57Deadlines matter.
00:10:59But fake deadlines create unnecessary work and unnecessary panic.
00:11:03And once you understand that, you'll get the work done at the right time, and, just as important, you won't inflict unnecessary deadlines on other people.
00:11:13Number twenty-two, lead with the request and bring a recommendation.
00:11:17Don't begin an email with seven paragraphs of throat clearing.
00:11:22Tell people what you need.
00:11:24And, if you're bringing somebody a problem, try to bring a proposed solution, too.
00:11:30Diagnosis is useful.
00:11:31Prescription is essential.
00:11:33Instead of, this isn't working, try, this isn't working, here's what I think is causing it, and here's what I recommend we do next.
00:11:41Number twenty-three, get good at something valuable that everybody else avoids.
00:11:46The spreadsheet nobody wants to own.
00:11:48The presentation nobody wants to give.
00:11:50The difficult conversation everybody keeps avoiding.
00:11:53Neglected skills have very little competition, because everyone is fighting for the glamorous territory.
00:11:59But the neglected territory is sitting there, undefended.
00:12:02And number twenty-four, for anybody who leads anybody, don't be the boss you had.
00:12:07Be the boss you should have had.
00:12:09Remember what your worst managers did, then do the opposite.
00:12:13Then remember what you desperately needed from them and never got.
00:12:16Whether that's clarity, encouragement, honest feedback or a second chance.
00:12:20Now, go provide that to somebody else.
00:12:23Level four, done.
00:12:24One level left.
00:12:26It's where all of this either adds up to a life or it doesn't.
00:12:30And the code I told you I saved for last is waiting for you at the end.
00:12:34Twenty-five, design your environment around your behavior.
00:12:38Store things where you use them, not where they're supposedly meant to go.
00:12:42Keep the medicine near the coffee maker if you take it with breakfast.
00:12:45Put the book on your pillow if you want to read before bed.
00:12:48And embrace strategic duplication.
00:12:51Two chargers.
00:12:52Two umbrellas.
00:12:53Six pairs of reading glasses.
00:12:55Redundancy beats self-discipline.
00:12:57Number twenty-six, spend money eliminating recurring misery before buying occasional pleasure.
00:13:04Fix the terrible mattress before booking the fancy weekend.
00:13:07Replace the shoes that hurt your feet.
00:13:09Buy the second monitor that makes every workday easier.
00:13:13Pay to remove regular annoyances.
00:13:15The weekend in Antigua lasts three days.
00:13:17The mattress is every night of your year.
00:13:20Number twenty-seven, create traditions on purpose.
00:13:23Sunday dinners.
00:13:24Birthday breakfasts.
00:13:26The same ridiculous photo every Thanksgiving.
00:13:29Rituals turn passing time into a life you can actually remember.
00:13:33In our house, we celebrate every New Year's Day by making something called lucky pudding.
00:13:37The tradition began more than 20 years ago almost by accident.
00:13:40Now it has taken on the significance of a sacred religious rite.
00:13:45Don't wait for traditions to form on their own.
00:13:47Build them.
00:13:48Number twenty-eight, stop trying to be normal.
00:13:52Normal is crowded.
00:13:53Conformity is boring.
00:13:55Every interesting person I know is interesting precisely at the spots where they stopped asking,
00:13:59is this normal?
00:14:01And started asking, is this right for me?
00:14:04The parts of you that don't fit may be the parts most worth keeping.
00:14:09Number twenty-nine, compete with yourself, not with somebody else.
00:14:14Social comparison is a rigged game.
00:14:16You're comparing their outsides with your insides.
00:14:19Their carefully selected victory or curated profile with your entire chaotic,
00:14:25messy, unedited life.
00:14:27So, change the opponent.
00:14:30Was I better today than yesterday?
00:14:31Am I better at this than I was six months ago?
00:14:34Did I handle that situation more wisely than I would have before?
00:14:37Don't aim for an Olympic medal in somebody else's event.
00:14:42Aim for a personal best.
00:14:45And the final code, number thirty, avoid unnecessary suffering, accept necessary suffering.
00:14:51Use that rotisserie chicken.
00:14:53Take the shortcut when it works.
00:14:55Eliminate friction that proves nothing.
00:14:56Don't expect achievement, love, creativity, or a meaningful life to cost you nothing.
00:15:01Anything worthwhile will demand effort, discomfort, criticism, uncertainty, and sacrifice.
00:15:07Lots of it.
00:15:08When you encounter those costs, don't automatically assume you're doing something wrong.
00:15:12You might simply be paying the price of admission.
00:15:16Eliminate the suffering that gets you nothing, accept the suffering that moves you closer to something
00:15:22meaningful.
00:15:23So, here they are, thirty cheat codes.
00:15:24Choose for Tuesdays, give friendship and infrastructure, get good at something others avoid, build traditions,
00:15:30and learn which difficulties to remove and which to accept.
00:15:33But cheat codes only work if you enter them.
00:15:36So, don't try all thirty.
00:15:38Pick two.
00:15:38One that would remove hassle from your life, and one you've been resisting.
00:15:42Use both this week.
00:15:44And, because I'm certain I missed some, tell me this.
00:15:46What's one life cheat code you had to learn?
00:15:49Put it in the comments.
00:15:50I read every single one, and that comment section might end up being even more useful than this video.
00:15:55Once again, if you want the whole list in one place, all thirty codes are on that one-page cheat sheet.
00:16:01It's free.
00:16:01The link is below.
00:16:03And, it's a lot easier than rewinding this video.
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