Why People Don’t Take You Seriously (Until You Speak Like THIS!)

VVinh Giang
Adult EducationAdvertising/MarketingManagement

Transcript

00:00:00This right here is Tina.
00:00:01She's saying the exact same thing.
00:00:03But the second time she said it,
00:00:05she was way more calm, confident, and charismatic.
00:00:08And through a process called Record and Review,
00:00:10we were able to pinpoint a few subtle behavior shifts
00:00:13that if you, the one watching right now,
00:00:15applied to your own communication,
00:00:17it would instantly upgrade how people perceive you
00:00:19in every conversation.
00:00:20My name is Vin.
00:00:21I'm a communication skills coach.
00:00:23And the process I'm about to take Tina through
00:00:25is one of the most powerful ways to develop self-awareness
00:00:28on how you speak.
00:00:29Because it reveals to you the invisible habits
00:00:32in your communication
00:00:33that robs you of authority and credibility.
00:00:35Let me show you exactly what her communication looked like
00:00:38before she started the process.
00:00:40Tina, in this chapter of life,
00:00:42what is your definition of success?
00:00:45Vin, this is a great question.
00:00:47I've actually been pondering this myself.
00:00:50The Western world, of course, wants us to view success
00:00:57as money and power and all these accolades.
00:01:01And once I was a dancer, I was very career driven
00:01:04and that was success to me.
00:01:06But recently, about eight years ago, I became a mother
00:01:10and wow, did things really shift.
00:01:13And I view success more now with family, connection,
00:01:18love, health, as I'm getting older.
00:01:21Yeah, I view it differently.
00:01:25I still do value the accolades and the career
00:01:29and the finances, but I see it a lot now.
00:01:33And just overall happiness and mental health
00:01:36is what's truly important.
00:01:38And I won't.
00:01:39That's amazing.
00:01:42Wow, that's so good.
00:01:44It's one of those examples you don't need an after
00:01:46because you did such an incredible job.
00:01:48That was amazing.
00:01:48So listen, what we're gonna do is,
00:01:50what's really powerful about this process
00:01:52is that no matter what level we're at,
00:01:53we will always find something that we can improve upon.
00:01:56So let's dive into this, okay?
00:01:58We first look at just the auditory component.
00:02:01We're now just gonna listen to your voice
00:02:03for about 30 seconds.
00:02:04I want you yourself to have a couple of notes
00:02:07that you write down.
00:02:07One thing that you like and one thing that you feel
00:02:10that you would like to improve.
00:02:12And just have a listen.
00:02:12Vin, this is a great question.
00:02:14I've actually been pondering this myself.
00:02:17The Western world, of course, wants us to, you know,
00:02:23view success as money and power and all these accolades.
00:02:28And once I was a dancer, I was very career-driven
00:02:31and that was success to me.
00:02:33But recently, about eight years ago, I became a mother
00:02:37and wow, did things really shift.
00:02:40The first thing that stood out, I liked my energy.
00:02:43I felt that it was, you know, truly me, bubbly.
00:02:47And so I liked the excitement and I liked that I paused.
00:02:53I also noticed I had some filler words, some you knows.
00:02:56I would love to have better vocabulary, I guess.
00:03:01- Okay, hey, that's wonderful.
00:03:02That's wonderful.
00:03:03I felt it was so beautifully articulated.
00:03:06Can we just play back the audio of just the first part?
00:03:10And I wanna make you all aware of this.
00:03:12- Vin, this is a great question.
00:03:14I've actually been pondering this myself.
00:03:17The Western world, of course, wants us to.
00:03:19- When you spoke the Western world, from there,
00:03:22everything before it, often we say those things
00:03:25as we're thinking of the answer that we're about to give.
00:03:29Again, we acknowledge that,
00:03:30hey, really appreciate the question.
00:03:31It's a wonderful question.
00:03:34For those who are just starting out, that's great.
00:03:37That's no problems.
00:03:38But because you're such a great communicator,
00:03:40to level it up even more, you can remove that part
00:03:43and you can just start with, in the Western world,
00:03:47and that alone makes it punchier.
00:03:52- Thank you.
00:03:53- No, no problems at all.
00:03:54Whereas again, for most people, when they're starting out,
00:03:57having that, it's no problem, it's fine.
00:03:59But because you're such a great communicator,
00:04:01I'm giving you another advanced tip
00:04:02where you can go straight into the answer
00:04:04and that makes it seem more potent
00:04:05because the weight of this question was really, really heavy.
00:04:08If you wanna apply, record, or review this entire process
00:04:11to yourself, like how I'm helping my student here,
00:04:13Tina, apply it to herself,
00:04:14I've actually created a free three-part video series
00:04:17breaking this process down in way more detail.
00:04:20And by going through this process,
00:04:22you'll discover what your non-functional
00:04:24communication habits are.
00:04:26So you have a customized list of things to work on
00:04:28that's specific to you.
00:04:30Instead of working on top 10 things over here,
00:04:32top 10 things over there,
00:04:33these top 10 things that you'll discover,
00:04:35they're specific to you.
00:04:37So click the link in the description or scan the QR code
00:04:39if you want access to the three-part video series.
00:04:42All right, let's continue with record and review.
00:04:44Now we're gonna do something
00:04:45that's gonna make lots of people go, no, don't do it.
00:04:48You already know what's coming, it's a visual review.
00:04:50So we're gonna do a visual review.
00:04:52We're gonna mute you now, and we're just gonna watch you.
00:04:56Okay, this is really powerful.
00:04:58Beautiful, wonderful use of hand gestures,
00:05:03great facial expressions, very expressive.
00:05:07And when you smile, you smile with your eyes as well.
00:05:11This is incredible.
00:05:12And Tina, again, it's about self-awareness.
00:05:14I have thoughts too, but I'd love to hear--
00:05:16- I definitely found a lot of movement.
00:05:19I'm like trying to hold it now, don't move so much.
00:05:21I like the expression, but I did like,
00:05:25in the very beginning, I did a lot of head shaking
00:05:28that I thought probably was distracting.
00:05:32- Ah, okay, what did you love then?
00:05:34What did you also love?
00:05:35- I loved that it was expressive.
00:05:38I love that there was head movement.
00:05:41- So movement served you, but then also you recognize
00:05:45that stillness is also something that's powerful.
00:05:47- 100%, yes.
00:05:49- What incredible awareness.
00:05:50Whereas do you notice what happens, Tina?
00:05:52Often, once we deliver something and we finish,
00:05:55and we don't record and review,
00:05:56we don't look back at the auditory or the visual,
00:05:59we don't isolate these different stimuli,
00:06:01then what happens is it's so easy just to have
00:06:03that frame of mind as, yeah, actually it went good.
00:06:05Whereas as you look into this more closely,
00:06:08what we perceived was, again, please,
00:06:10you're such a great communicator.
00:06:11I don't want you for a second to think,
00:06:13oh no, I'm not good at this.
00:06:14You're so incredible already.
00:06:16But now you can still find moments of, oh wow,
00:06:19if I brought more stillness into this,
00:06:21how would that have changed the way people receive my answer?
00:06:24Wonderful awareness.
00:06:25Okay, now what we're gonna do is,
00:06:27this is now your transcript.
00:06:29We've already acknowledged that this part,
00:06:32again, something that we can remove if we wanted to,
00:06:37it just makes it sharper.
00:06:39Was there anything else you noticed in this, Tina?
00:06:42- The high-pitched squeal.
00:06:43(laughing)
00:06:44- You didn't say that?
00:06:45- Yeah, yeah, right after I pitched.
00:06:48- And that's okay, that's all right.
00:06:50You have such minimal filler words,
00:06:51you don't even lose points for that.
00:06:53You don't even lose points for that.
00:06:54It's totally fine.
00:06:56But is there anything else you notice besides the,
00:06:59like you said, the high-pitched squeal?
00:07:01That's all right, that's okay.
00:07:02- I, I, I, I, I.
00:07:06- Okay.
00:07:08- These are like that, I could vary them up, perhaps.
00:07:12- That's a really good insight.
00:07:14I love that you picked that up, right?
00:07:17Now, when we're storytelling
00:07:19and when we're sharing lessons with others,
00:07:21if they can't see themselves in what we're sharing,
00:07:24then they're less interested in what we say.
00:07:26So that's something so beautiful you picked up
00:07:28because you can say that I once was a dancer, career driven,
00:07:32and that's what success meant to me.
00:07:34And very easily, you can include the audience
00:07:36with a bridge line of just by saying,
00:07:39and has that happened to you before?
00:07:41Where you made career everything in your life
00:07:43and that's how you define success?
00:07:45As I became a mother, I, so that's a bridging line
00:07:48that allows you to connect with the audience.
00:07:49What a, that's such a masterful pickup, that's outrageous.
00:07:53With this level of awareness,
00:07:55there are three things we're gonna try.
00:07:57I'm gonna ask you the exact same question again.
00:07:59This time, I want there to be moments
00:08:02where you are playful with your voice,
00:08:05where you are playful with your energetic version of you.
00:08:08But I want you to also give me
00:08:10that still and controlled version of you.
00:08:13I think that fun version of you could very easily be applied
00:08:16to the part where you're talking about you being a dancer,
00:08:18you're career driven.
00:08:19And then as you shift into the meaning of success for you
00:08:23in this chapter of life now,
00:08:24give me a more still version of you.
00:08:27Still smile, less rapid movement with your hand gestures,
00:08:31but a more still version of you.
00:08:33Start with that because we don't wanna lose that,
00:08:36but then end with something that is more controlled and still.
00:08:39And you can remove the line, Vin, this is a great question,
00:08:41I've actually been thinking about this.
00:08:42You can almost kick off from the Western world wants us to,
00:08:46and then you begin from there.
00:08:47Do you reckon you can do a version of that rapidly?
00:08:49Take a moment of pause just as you did before.
00:08:52Start with the Western part, be your playful self,
00:08:54but move into a much more still and controlled version of you
00:08:59as you end the answer.
00:09:01Also give me some more dramatic pauses at the end.
00:09:04Let's have a go, let's give it a go.
00:09:05All right, I'll count you down.
00:09:06Here we go.
00:09:07In three, two, in this chapter of life for you,
00:09:11what is your definition of success?
00:09:14In the Western world,
00:09:16they want us to measure success by money,
00:09:18power, accolades, awards.
00:09:22And back in the day, I was a dancer.
00:09:24Let me tell you, I was career driven
00:09:26and that's what my definition of success was.
00:09:29But then things changed.
00:09:33And eight years ago, I became a mother.
00:09:35Are any of you mothers?
00:09:37Maybe you'll relate.
00:09:40My whole definition of success has completely shifted
00:09:45to one more about love and connection and relationships.
00:09:50I value it so much more.
00:09:53- Oh gosh, okay.
00:09:54Okay, so that was incredible.
00:09:55Can you give her lots of love for that?
00:09:56That was incredible.
00:09:57What you did exceptionally well in this version of it
00:10:00is you matched your energy and delivery
00:10:04to the weight of the question that was asked.
00:10:06Whereas one of the things that happens very commonly
00:10:08for many of us is that we anchor in our minds and our hearts
00:10:11a certain version of us that we think people love and like.
00:10:15And then that's the version of us
00:10:16we bring to every interaction.
00:10:17Whereas there's that beautiful version of you
00:10:19that's so bubbly, so fun.
00:10:21And all this tells me is that you've truly mastered
00:10:25that bubbly version of you.
00:10:28But the moment you leaned into that more still version of you,
00:10:30oh my goodness, it's so incredible.
00:10:32It was deep, it was vulnerable.
00:10:34It had this incredible depth.
00:10:36That was incredible, amazing.

Key Takeaway

By using the Record and Review process to audit auditory and visual cues, speakers can transform their communication from merely energetic to deeply authoritative and resonant.

Highlights

The Record and Review process is a powerful tool for identifying invisible communication habits that can undermine authority.

Eliminating introductory 'filler phrases' like 'That is a great question' makes an answer feel more potent and punchy.

Visual awareness of body language

Timeline

Introduction to Record and Review

Communication coach Vin introduces his student, Tina, and the transformative 'Record and Review' process used to upgrade charisma and confidence. He explains that this method uncovers invisible habits that often rob individuals of their professional authority and credibility during conversations. Vin emphasizes that the goal is to develop self-awareness by pinpointing subtle behavioral shifts rather than generic advice. This section establishes the framework for the coaching session and highlights the importance of how one is perceived by others. The introduction sets the stage for a practical demonstration of these communication principles.

The Initial Assessment and Auditory Review

Tina provides an initial answer regarding her definition of success, which Vin uses as a baseline for the auditory analysis. After listening back to the recording, Tina identifies her own filler words and high energy, while Vin suggests a more advanced tip: removing the 'pre-answer' fluff. Vin points out that phrases like "Vin, this is a great question" are often used while the speaker is still thinking and can be eliminated to make the response seem more immediate. By jumping straight into the core message about the 'Western world,' the speaker appears more certain and potent. Vin also introduces a free video series for viewers to discover their own non-functional communication habits.

Visual Analysis and Gesture Awareness

The session transitions into a visual review where the video is muted to focus entirely on Tina's non-verbal communication, such as hand gestures and facial expressions. Tina realizes that while her expressiveness is a strength, her constant head movement might be distracting to an audience. Vin explains that while movement serves her bubbly persona, incorporating stillness is a powerful tool for commanding respect. This section highlights the importance of isolating different stimuli—sound versus sight—to gain a truly objective perspective on one's performance. The coach encourages Tina to see how stillness can change the way people receive and process her information.

Transcript Critique and Audience Connection

Vin and Tina examine the literal transcript of her speech to identify repetitive patterns and missed opportunities for audience engagement. Tina notices her frequent use of the word "I," which Vin uses as a teaching moment to introduce 'bridging lines.' He suggests that by asking questions like "Has that happened to you before?", a speaker can help the audience see themselves in the story. This shift transforms a one-sided narrative into a shared experience, significantly increasing the listener's interest. Vin praises Tina's high level of awareness in picking up these subtle nuances in her phrasing.

The Final Transformation and Comparison

In the final exercise, Tina reapplies her insights by answering the same question with a focus on vocal variety, stillness, and dramatic pauses. She successfully transitions from a playful energy when discussing her past as a dancer to a controlled, still presence when discussing motherhood. Vin observes that this version is much more impactful because the delivery now matches the emotional weight of the content. He concludes that mastering one's natural 'bubbly' side is good, but adding depth and vulnerability through stillness creates an incredible level of communication mastery. The video ends with a celebration of the visible improvement in her authority and emotional resonance.

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