Transcript
00:00:00- What's happening with sex?
00:00:02- Well, so that was interesting in the book
00:00:06because I had so much research about how hookup culture
00:00:11was pushed on my generation.
00:00:14So the book goes from 2010 to now
00:00:16and everything that's changed sort of culturally
00:00:18and technologically.
00:00:19And I had all of these examples like Teen Vogue,
00:00:22teaching teenagers how to have anal sex,
00:00:25giving them tips on hookup culture, some crazy stuff.
00:00:29And then I had to sit and listen
00:00:32to these cool her daddy episodes
00:00:34to get transcripts of what they were talking about.
00:00:37And this was sort of in the late 2010s.
00:00:40And it's all about sleeping around and hookup culture
00:00:43and why it's good and empowering and healthy for young girls.
00:00:48So I had all of this evidence
00:00:51that there was so much influence that that was normalized.
00:00:55- Alex Cooper now happily engaged.
00:00:57- Yeah, so I had that.
00:00:59But then you look at the statistics
00:01:00and we're not actually having more sex.
00:01:03And so I was thinking that's all going to lead
00:01:06to this huge explosion in hookup culture and it really hasn't.
00:01:10And so there's a paradox there.
00:01:12There's so many paradoxes in the book
00:01:14between the messaging we were given
00:01:17and what actually happened, the outcome.
00:01:19And that's just one of them.
00:01:20- Yeah, it seems strange that Gen Z's hypersexualized
00:01:23and having less sex at the same time.
00:01:25- Yes, but maybe they're linked,
00:01:28which is that when I was sat listening
00:01:31to the "Cool Her Daddy" episodes and reading these articles,
00:01:35sex sounded horrifying and scary.
00:01:38- Is it not advertising sex?
00:01:43- I think that's what we think it's doing.
00:01:46But I mean, on "Cool Her Daddy" they're saying,
00:01:49if you're a five or four out of 10,
00:01:52then you really need to learn these sex tips
00:01:54in order to make up for it.
00:01:56You're just a hole. (both laughing)
00:01:59No, but just genuinely so,
00:02:01it's like the sort of stereotypically worst masculine banter
00:02:06coming out of women.
00:02:07Like basically they had this guest on.
00:02:10- It sounds like something that Louis Theroux
00:02:11would have seen in the "Matter Sphere" doc.
00:02:14- Exactly.
00:02:15- Like if you're butters, you'd better learn to cook.
00:02:17- Exactly.
00:02:18So they had this guest on called Milf Hunter.
00:02:21- Brilliant.
00:02:22Hang on, Milf Hunter for women?
00:02:26- This is a guy who had slept with a load of older women
00:02:31and was giving them advice, basically.
00:02:34And the advice is just horrifying.
00:02:36But then at the end, he shouts out,
00:02:39women don't care about you.
00:02:40Oh, sorry, men don't care about you.
00:02:42And then Alex Cooper and the other host are like,
00:02:45I hope you girls are listening.
00:02:46And even if you're married, you're not safe,
00:02:50he still wants to cheat on you.
00:02:52This is terrifying messaging around sex.
00:02:55And I think that is, I mean,
00:02:57it's the most listened to podcast by women.
00:03:00And so I really think that would have played a part
00:03:05in why we're now seeing a sex recession
00:03:07is that you had it on both sides.
00:03:09You had this awful messaging from the feminist influencers,
00:03:14the femosphere that the New Statesmen now
00:03:16are finally talking about.
00:03:17But then you also have it from the Manner Sphere influencers.
00:03:20Everybody basically saying that investing in the opposite sex
00:03:25or being vulnerable at all is gonna get you hurt
00:03:27and you have to put on this defense mechanism bravado.
00:03:31And it's the exact same messaging.
00:03:33- What do you think porn's done
00:03:35to expectations around sex and power?
00:03:37- I think porn is another thing that terrified young women
00:03:43from my generation
00:03:46because they would have been exposed to it before,
00:03:50likely before they've had a relationship.
00:03:53And so you have, I had to go on this forum in the book
00:03:57of Gen Z adults talking about
00:03:59when they first were exposed to porn.
00:04:02And some of them are like eight, six,
00:04:05and they're talking about accidentally seeing it
00:04:08on these platforms
00:04:09and way before they've even attempted dating anyone
00:04:12or can put that in context.
00:04:14So I think we talk a lot about the impact of porn
00:04:19on young men, but not so much on young women,
00:04:22even if they're not watching it,
00:04:23I think there's constant sort of exposure
00:04:27to it on social media.
00:04:28So a lot of the statistics in the book
00:04:31were accidental exposure.
00:04:33So it's not young people going on to Pornhub.
00:04:37It's very often on Twitter or Instagram
00:04:40and it's accidentally come up and it started an addiction.
00:04:43And so I think that plays into the same thing.
00:04:46It creates a fear around sex
00:04:48and it creates crazy expectations.
00:04:51I think there's porn-brained women sometimes
00:04:54where the way they speak about women, about themselves
00:04:58is so heartbreaking.
00:04:59Even listening to "Call Her Daddy"
00:05:01and some of the guests on there,
00:05:02the way they talk about themselves,
00:05:05it sounds like it's straight out of a porn site
00:05:08and they're viewing themselves
00:05:10as nothing but an object, a product.
00:05:12- There's another weird paradox going on here,
00:05:16which is porn is both something totally meaningless,
00:05:21transactional, that you can do freely
00:05:24with whoever you want whenever you want,
00:05:26and also the root of potentially the most traumatic thing
00:05:31in your life if it's done incorrectly.
00:05:33- No, I don't understand the consistent defense of porn
00:05:43from progressives.
00:05:47So this is part of the controversial part of my book
00:05:49is that I don't caveat.
00:05:52I don't give any disclaimers with that
00:05:54because I was so tired of reading books
00:05:57that constantly caveat.
00:05:59And so with things like porn--
00:06:01- The throat-clearing land acknowledgement.
00:06:02- Yeah.
00:06:03- Well, we must remember that porn can,
00:06:05it does empower women to be able to,
00:06:07if they're disadvantaged, they've got a knife on and a dildo
00:06:09and they can make the money that they want to do it.
00:06:11- And I do that throughout the book.
00:06:12So another controversial part of the book
00:06:14is I talk about the mental health industry
00:06:16and I don't do the constant, you know, some medication
00:06:21really helps people and it saves their lives.
00:06:22And therapy is of course life-saving for some people.
00:06:25I do a brief acknowledgement of that at the beginning.
00:06:28And then I go into what I think are the real dangers
00:06:30because I think we've heard that other side of the story.
00:06:32There are so many books telling you
00:06:35the benefits of mental health awareness
00:06:36and opening up and taking medication.
00:06:39And the point of the book is it's the things
00:06:41that we didn't grow up hearing.
00:06:43And so I give the skeptical side of it.
00:06:46And I think that is very alarming to a lot of progressives.
00:06:50They want the constant disclaimers
00:06:52because they think it's dangerous to not have them.
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00:06:57when I first heard it.
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