Harvard Professor’s 3-Step Cure For Doom Scrolling - Arthur Brooks
CChris Williamson
Mental HealthParentingCell Phones
Transcript
00:00:00what does fixing the doom loop look like what is fixing it means clipping it it means cutting it
00:00:04in a particular place so um all addictions getting out of addictions they have sort of three steps in
00:00:10common it's really behaviorally they have three steps in common now i'm not talking medically i'm
00:00:15not talking about the medical interventions because that's different for different things
00:00:18with gambling and drinking and methamphetamine whatever but the three behavioral steps in getting
00:00:23out of an addiction are number one you got to get pissed you gotta get pissed it's like this is
00:00:28subjugating me this is i'm in a cage and i'm tired of it i'm tired of actually being a wholly owned
00:00:34subsidiary of that company or this behavior or this culture i'm tired of it i'm not going to put up
00:00:39with it you need to fight back by rebelling that's number one you need the spirit of rebellion if you're
00:00:44not ready to rebel you're not going to get out number two is you need to figure out how to stop
00:00:49you need to actually have an algorithm and that's dependent on what the substance or behavior actually
00:00:54is there are different ways to do it but there's tons of science in every area if you can get addicted
00:00:58to it there's science that tells you how to stop and then the third is you have to learn how to live
00:01:04with yourself again because you've been distracting yourself from yourself if you're addicted to something
00:01:09it means you didn't like being home in your head that's what it comes down to and you know if like
00:01:13i i haven't had a drink since i was 38 years old right and i remember in my 30s i didn't like being
00:01:19home in my head didn't like it didn't want to be there right and so i left right i got a little
00:01:24relief a little vacation in the bottle and it just it was going nowhere good and it was really clear
00:01:30and then my dad died and and and you know a couple of people i cared about said this your that's your
00:01:36future you just saw your future right and so i stopped but it was the hard part was step three
00:01:44the hard part was actually being alone with myself being awake with myself being alive with myself is
00:01:49what it comes down to and that's probably even more extreme for people who are very very online
00:01:54because you're trying to break the doom loop of that technology is breaking your brain not letting
00:01:59you find the meaning of your life making you angry and depressed and anxious and lonely
00:02:04you're addicted which is why you keep doing these self-terrible self-destructive things to yourself
00:02:09you first you get pissed and second you got to quit and look i got the algorithms to help you do that
00:02:13but then man you need new friends like you know you need you need to live in a society you need to live
00:02:20you know in people who are alive in real life and you have to be able to sit behind the wheel of your
00:02:28car at a red light with nothing to do in your thoughts right and be in a supermarket checkout line
00:02:36without your phone and and walk before dawn without a device and hear the crunch of the gravel under your
00:02:45feet and say that's the sound of my feet on the path and that takes work
00:02:53how easy is it to recover from this i think a lot of people feel like they're lost and totally
00:02:58unrecoverable it's absolutely possible i've seen it again and again and again and again
00:03:03i mean look this is this this is not heroin that we're talking about here i mean the the process of
00:03:09detox for example isn't you don't even have to give up your phone you just have to put it in proper
00:03:14boundaries and have some rules in your life right and actually have some proper habits and you know
00:03:18where our life is if you have a fairly functional life you've got good habits already right i mean
00:03:22you get up at a certain time you work out every day you you eat something you don't eat like an 11
00:03:27year old i mean you have good habits and then you just put protocols around it you know it's like
00:03:32huberman talks about protocols and which has kind of affected the culture it's a culture of protocols
00:03:37um and and i'm an absolute believer in that when it comes to your phone i mean you you wake up in the
00:03:42morning if you can don't look at it at all for the first hour for neurocognitive programming if you're
00:03:46a journalist or you know you have your job you got to look at it make sure nothing's on fire put it
00:03:51down that's it for the hour right first hour of the day while you eat neurocognitive programming
00:03:57all you eat is critically important is best not to eat alone and never eat with your device why brain
00:04:03is actually your the the neuropeptides in your brain most notably oxytocin uh they flow very liberally
00:04:09when you're eating with somebody this is how you know homo sapiens would establish and foster kin
00:04:14bonds is by sitting around a campfire putting pieces of yak meat into their mouths discussing
00:04:19their day and looking into each other's eyes that's how we're wired if you have a phone on the table
00:04:24while you eat or god forbid if you're looking at it there's no none of this neurochemistry happens
00:04:30what if you're on your own then um you might read a book you might listen to music but don't look at
00:04:35your phone there's a meme online of uh guy starves to death even though he had food because he couldn't
00:04:42watch youtube yeah because his phone had run out or it's like or died of sepsis because he didn't
00:04:47go to the bathroom yeah yeah he couldn't take his phone in there so and last but at least it's the
00:04:52last hour of the day now that part of that is sleep architecture and blue light etc etc the pineal
00:04:56gland melatonin yada yada we all know the physiology of that but part of that is just the way that you
00:05:01actually understand yourself at the end of your day and get ready to rest if you're living with
00:05:07your partner that's critically important to your relationship is not to be looking at your device
00:05:11in the last hour so you can be fully present as you drift off to sleep together that's super super
00:05:16important for your relationship but just those three things then there's phone free zones you
00:05:21shouldn't have your phone in the bedroom ever ever ever ever because i mean god forbid you get up to
00:05:26pee at three o'clock in the morning and look at your phone that's a big mistake well i mean it's
00:05:31it's your pineal gland shuts off right no more melatonin for you and and so which is problematic on
00:05:38its face but it's also you just you you spike your cortisol i mean it's bad stuff happens to you so the
00:05:44phone should be in a different floor in a closet plugged in someplace from an hour before you go to
00:05:51bed until you after an hour after you get up that's number one it's a phone free zone second is that i
00:05:56mean this is just you know basic public policy there shouldn't be a a phone in any classroom in any
00:06:02school in the world between kindergarten and phd it is complete insanity because it interrupts
00:06:08everything that we're actually trying to do and it's it's child abuse that there's phones in
00:06:13classrooms you know this and and the most important hour they shouldn't have phones is during lunch by the
00:06:17way because they need to it's even worse it's even worse it shouldn't be in a classroom it definitely
00:06:22shouldn't be in a cafeteria i mean most of what's going on in the classroom is not interesting to
00:06:25begin with i mean i don't think i ever learned anything in public school i think it was mostly
00:06:29babysitting but but you know at least i had friends and and and they don't have friends
00:06:35and then and then people need phone fasts they need technology fasts i recommend 96 hours a year
00:06:41is kind of when this is and there's a little bit of research on this that shows that this actually can
00:06:45break the relationship that you have so you prove to yourself that you actually don't need it and
00:06:50you're kind of in a state of bliss by the fourth day you know it's really i mean i go on a spiritual
00:06:54retreat every year for four days no phone oh it's great first day it's like children screaming in my
00:06:59head yeah second day i'm calming down for a third day i like it the fourth day i wish it were the whole
00:07:04year that's what it comes down to but just those things phone free times phone free zones phone fasts
00:07:12can rear can can can can do this part two this does not give you part one which is rebellion
00:07:18or part three which is you got to get comfortable back with yourself different processes before we
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