How to Survive the Death of Your Old Self - Charlie Houpert (4K)

English
CChris Williamson
정신 건강창업/스타트업자격증/평생교육육아(영유아~청소년)

Transcript

00:00:00- You're in a very different place now
00:00:01to when you started doing your thing online.
00:00:05What's the unifying thread?
00:00:08Is there one between sort of all of this stuff
00:00:11or do you see it as different Charlies?
00:00:12How do you come to sort of construct the narrative
00:00:15of what your interests have been
00:00:16and your personal growth over the last decade and a bit?
00:00:19- Sure.
00:00:20The terror was in not having a thread.
00:00:22So there was a time about three years ago
00:00:25where I could not form a story that connected
00:00:28who I had been in my 20s to who I was becoming in my 30s.
00:00:32And I was thinking about this.
00:00:33I've heard you talk about the lonely chapter
00:00:35where you go from I'm just blending in
00:00:37to I'm gonna take control of my life
00:00:39and I'm gonna dial in these optimizing things.
00:00:40I'm gonna start my business, get in shape,
00:00:42eat the right food, et cetera.
00:00:43I discovered a second lonely chapter
00:00:46which is when you bottom out on the optimizing thing
00:00:50and your friends are still very much in that optimized zone.
00:00:54And I did not know where to go,
00:00:55but I just knew that it wasn't working.
00:00:57- Wow.
00:00:58- So the common thread for me
00:00:59was that there was this problem in my life
00:01:02that started with I'm too shy, nobody wants to talk to me.
00:01:06And you start off in victim consciousness,
00:01:07which is this is just who I am
00:01:08and I will just deal with this for the rest of my life.
00:01:11You read the game, which is what I did.
00:01:12You have this breakthrough, read Dale Carnegie,
00:01:15read all these other guys and go, oh my gosh,
00:01:17I can change my behavior, get different results.
00:01:20But then once I had all the different results,
00:01:23which was I was 30 years old,
00:01:25had this business that I dreamed of,
00:01:26the girlfriend that I'd imagined myself dating,
00:01:29bunch of friends, money was coming in.
00:01:31There's most cliche thing happened,
00:01:34which is there was an emptiness
00:01:36that I could not pinpoint or explain
00:01:38and things I started unconsciously breaking things
00:01:42because I didn't know where to go from there.
00:01:46So to answer your question, the thread has been,
00:01:49I try to attend to the greatest problem in my life
00:01:52and figure out who I can learn from to solve it.
00:01:55- What does breaking things look like?
00:01:58- It looks like I'm in the business that I love,
00:02:01that I dreamed of.
00:02:02One day it was like, if I could just make $2,000 a month,
00:02:05live in Latin America and do work that I found meaningful,
00:02:09that's the dream.
00:02:10And I hit that and then I moved the goalposts
00:02:12and I moved the goalposts and all of a sudden I'm complaining
00:02:15and I go, I have to make one video a week.
00:02:17Three years prior was I get to do this
00:02:20and it became so annoying.
00:02:23These people are asking me and I have to hit
00:02:26all these targets that I'd set for myself
00:02:27to surpass views and all sorts of things.
00:02:29I started having issues in my friendships.
00:02:32I started having issues in different kinds of relationships.
00:02:35And I did not know that what was happening,
00:02:38I would say it's like my soul was waking up.
00:02:41I had no concept of a soul, I wasn't a religious person,
00:02:44but the lack of emotional and spiritual nourishment
00:02:49that I'd allowed myself to experience for the last decade plus
00:02:52had caught up with me is what happened.
00:02:54- Was the success and the pursuit materially antithetical
00:03:02to spiritual connection?
00:03:08- No, that's the tragedy, right?
00:03:11- I didn't need to sacrifice one to get the other.
00:03:13- I had it, it was, I think the temptation is
00:03:16when you have unresolved emotional issues,
00:03:20which I think we all do from childhood.
00:03:22And you've spoken to people about trauma, I know,
00:03:24and the ways in which we have these events in our past
00:03:28that happen and we make vows to ourself
00:03:30that I will never experience that again.
00:03:32And then our entire life bends around
00:03:34not having that particular experience again.
00:03:36And so we all have these unconsciously in our lives.
00:03:39And I started off with this business that was,
00:03:41it was just it, it was, I was learning in every video.
00:03:44I made this Donald Trump video.
00:03:45I learned so much in doing it and people liked it.
00:03:48I had both, I was filling myself up and helping the world
00:03:51and making money.
00:03:53And then that people pleaser kicks in.
00:03:55And then that you could be doing better kicks in.
00:03:58And it became, I have to top the last thing that I did,
00:04:01which was never the early motivation.
00:04:03The early motivation was always,
00:04:05how can I solve my own problem
00:04:06and help people that are like me?
00:04:08But it devolved into, can I have another video
00:04:13that is better than the one before?
00:04:14Can I make more money this month
00:04:16than I did the prior month?
00:04:16And that endless loop became deeply depressing to exist.
00:04:21- Yeah, well, when you are at the start of your journey,
00:04:29you have all of the hope that somewhere on the path
00:04:34from the bottom of the mountain to the top of it,
00:04:37you will find a thing that fills the void
00:04:39that you're trying to fix.
00:04:41But when you get to the top of the mountain,
00:04:43you've achieved all of the stuff and the void's still there.
00:04:45You go, oh, fuck.
00:04:49And this is, have you heard me
00:04:50do my unteachable lessons essay?
00:04:53- I may have, but please.
00:04:56- Okay, so this is the most robust.
00:05:00I chat a lot of shit, right?
00:05:02I come up with lots and lots of ideas and insights
00:05:05and stuff like that.
00:05:06Some of them are more scalable
00:05:10and like replicable than others.
00:05:12This is maybe like the most robust of any of them
00:05:16and it just keeps coming up.
00:05:17And I think it's because of my age and where I'm at
00:05:20and where my friends are at.
00:05:21People like you or Dr. K or whoever it is.
00:05:24This is unteachable lessons.
00:05:26- Hit me.
00:05:27- No matter how arduous or costly or effortful it is
00:05:30going to be for us to find out for ourselves,
00:05:33we prefer to disregard the mountains of warnings
00:05:35from our elders, songs, literature, historical catastrophes,
00:05:38public scandals, and instead think some version of,
00:05:41yeah, that might be true for them, but not for me.
00:05:46We decide to learn the hard lessons the hard way
00:05:49over and over again.
00:05:51Unfortunately, they all seem to be the big things too.
00:05:54It's never insights about how to put up level shelves
00:05:56or charmingly introduce yourself at cocktail party.
00:05:59Instead, we spend most of our lives learning firsthand
00:06:02the most important lessons that the previous generation
00:06:05already warned us about.
00:06:06Things like money won't make you happy,
00:06:08fame won't fix your self worth.
00:06:10You don't love that pretty girl she's just hot
00:06:12and difficult to get.
00:06:13Nothing is as important as you think it is
00:06:15when you're thinking about it.
00:06:16You will regret working too much.
00:06:18Worrying is not improving your performance.
00:06:20All your fears are a waste of time.
00:06:21You should see your parents more.
00:06:22You'll be fine after the breakup
00:06:24and be grateful that you did it.
00:06:25It's perfectly okay to cut toxic people out of your life.
00:06:28Even reading this list back,
00:06:30I'm rolling my eyes at how fucking trite it is.
00:06:33These are all basic bitch obvious insights
00:06:36that everybody has heard before.
00:06:38But if they're so basic, why does everyone so reliably
00:06:41fall prey to them throughout our lives?
00:06:43And if they're so obvious,
00:06:45why do people who have recently become wealthy or famous
00:06:48or lost a parent or gone through a breakup
00:06:50start to proclaim these facts
00:06:51with the renewed grandiose ceremony
00:06:53of someone who's just gone through religious revelation?
00:06:57It's also a very contentious point to say on the internet.
00:07:00If you interview a billionaire
00:07:02who says that all his money didn't make him happy
00:07:04or a movie star who said her fame felt like a prison,
00:07:07the internet will tear them apart for being ungrateful
00:07:09and out of touch.
00:07:10So not only do we refuse to learn these lessons,
00:07:14we even refuse to hear the message
00:07:16from those warning us about them.
00:07:18Even more than that, for every one of these,
00:07:21if I think a bit deeper, I can recall a time,
00:07:24including right now, where I convinced myself
00:07:27that I'm the exception to the rule,
00:07:29that my particular mental makeup or life situation
00:07:32or historical wounds or dreams for the future
00:07:35render me immune to these lessons being applicable.
00:07:38No, no, no, my unique inner landscape would be fixed
00:07:42by skirting around the most well-known wisdom of the ages.
00:07:45No, no, no, I can thread this needle properly.
00:07:48Watch me dance through the minefield,
00:07:50avoid all the trip wires that everybody else kicks,
00:07:53and then you kick one.
00:07:55And you share a knowing look with somebody else,
00:07:58the kind that can only occur between two people
00:08:00who have been hurt in exactly the same way,
00:08:03and a voice in the back of your mind will say,
00:08:05"I told you so."
00:08:06Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
00:08:09(breathing deeply)
00:08:12Yeah.
00:08:13(laughing)
00:08:15Yes.
00:08:17So I've wrestled with this,
00:08:20'cause you close with, "I told you so,"
00:08:22and I actually think that is a part of the trap,
00:08:26which is you're not supposed to make the same mistakes
00:08:29that everybody else makes.
00:08:30You're supposed to listen to your elders.
00:08:32And what I've seen is that it's kind of like grades.
00:08:34Like, you're not supposed to skip counting on your fingers
00:08:37to jump to mental math.
00:08:40You are supposed to bump your head.
00:08:42You are not supposed to listen to other people tell you
00:08:44that it hurts to bump your head
00:08:46or burn your hand on the stove.
00:08:47As much as it hurts to have done,
00:08:49I think there's something beautiful about the process.
00:08:51And part of the most difficult thing for me
00:08:53was that I kept beating myself up
00:08:55for exactly the reason that you were talking about.
00:08:56Why didn't you foresee it?
00:08:57Everyone told me this was gonna happen, right?
00:08:59Why didn't I catch it?
00:09:00Such an idiot.
00:09:01So there's a model that is, it's not uniquely mine,
00:09:04but it helps me understand it,
00:09:05that I think of as a pyramid,
00:09:07that I think is appropriate here and is somewhat related,
00:09:10which is we start if this is a pyramid at the very top thing,
00:09:14which is with our attention on results.
00:09:17And this is sort of victim mindset,
00:09:18which is to say we're in junior high, high school, wherever,
00:09:22and we go, "Man, I wish I had that girlfriend,"
00:09:23or "I wish people liked me."
00:09:25And we talk with our friends and we pontificate
00:09:26about what we would do if we had $100 million,
00:09:29but we do nothing to make it happen, right?
00:09:32When you leap from that to the lower level,
00:09:35which is foundational to it, which is behavior,
00:09:38you don't get to bring all your friends with you, right?
00:09:40'Cause some of them wanna just stay there,
00:09:41and this is what I think you were talking about
00:09:42with this lonely chapter idea.
00:09:44As you shift into, I'm gonna take action,
00:09:46I'm gonna start going to the gym,
00:09:47I'm gonna start counting calories,
00:09:49I'm gonna start making sure that I do enough work every day,
00:09:52and I'm not just gonna go,
00:09:53"Did I get the result that I want?"
00:09:54I'm gonna go, "How are my inputs, my behavioral inputs?"
00:09:58You lose people, but you gain something,
00:10:00which is, as you focus on this, this stuff, it occurs.
00:10:03It's secondary to that.
00:10:06But then the journey that I think I started
00:10:07probably 10-ish years ago was you have everything you want,
00:10:12and the hole is still there,
00:10:14so you start paying attention to the emotional layer,
00:10:17which is underneath that, because at the action level,
00:10:19it's all about discipline.
00:10:21Don't wanna go to the gym, just do it.
00:10:23Feeling sad, turn it into rage,
00:10:25and make, and propel yourself forward, right?
00:10:28But you start to realize that those corrosive emotions
00:10:31are a type of fuel that just hurts,
00:10:33and you can get all of the actions in place,
00:10:34and all of the results can flow, but you will feel crappy.
00:10:37So you start tending to your emotions.
00:10:39Joe Hudson shows up in your life, right?
00:10:41When the student is ready, teacher appears,
00:10:44and you start sitting with shame,
00:10:45and you start sitting with helplessness,
00:10:47and grief, oh, grief, rage, instead of just anger, right?
00:10:52And so as you get in touch with all of these,
00:10:55your emotional fuel starts to shift.
00:10:57You're taking not exactly the same actions,
00:10:59but you're still taking effective actions,
00:11:01and then over time, your results come back,
00:11:03but there's a dip in between every one of these levels.
00:11:06When you switch from results to actions,
00:11:09you're the loser who's going to the gym and is still skinny.
00:11:11When you switch from actions to emotions,
00:11:13you're the guy whose business is shrinking
00:11:15while everyone else is kicking butt, and why are you lagging?
00:11:18They're having so much fun conquering the world.
00:11:21- And denying how they feel.
00:11:22And yes, and the problem that I did and everybody else does
00:11:25is you try to drag people
00:11:26who don't want to take that journey.
00:11:28So I realized now at each stage,
00:11:31I have been very aggressive with the people closest to me
00:11:36in trying to incentivize and pull them
00:11:38to the level of development that I feel called to,
00:11:40and it's not appropriate.
00:11:41There are people waiting as you achieve these levels,
00:11:44even though it feels like there's not.
00:11:45And I say achieve, that's even a different mentality.
00:11:49But what I'm seeing, and there may be many more beneath this,
00:11:53is I spent years now on the emotional place.
00:11:55And the unlock for that is obviously you have more joy
00:11:58and you can operate from that.
00:12:00But the thing that I have not said before
00:12:02that scares me, I'm afraid to say it,
00:12:05is that there's a level beneath that
00:12:07which is spiritual religious.
00:12:09And it's terrifying to acknowledge
00:12:12that the deepest wound that I've been able
00:12:15to find inside of myself is there.
00:12:17It is a separation from life, a separation from God,
00:12:22a separation from all of these things.
00:12:24And everyone has their own story in the West
00:12:27of how that came to be.
00:12:28But culturally, if you look at us,
00:12:30we are all recent immigrants in America,
00:12:33you especially so, right?
00:12:35There was something going on with our family and our homeland
00:12:38where it was like, it's kind of crappy
00:12:40or it's not working here.
00:12:41We're going to cut ties with our ancestral lands.
00:12:43We're going to cut ties with our extended family.
00:12:45We're going to cut ties with this sense of belonging
00:12:47to a larger community to try
00:12:49to form a better life for ourselves.
00:12:52And so a lot of people, particularly in America,
00:12:54I have found are ancestrally disconnected,
00:12:57spiritually disconnected, disconnected from the land.
00:13:00They found convenient ways to get everything
00:13:01from food to friends to whatever they need.
00:13:04And they can't, myself included,
00:13:07identify the location of the pain,
00:13:10the location of the hole,
00:13:11'cause you would need to have a soul
00:13:13in order to feel that pain.
00:13:15And if you don't have a soul, you just need more stuff,
00:13:19or you just need better behavior,
00:13:20or even you just need to feel better.
00:13:21But as I've dropped into this layer,
00:13:23it's like, oh, the relief, the gift, the joy, the beauty is,
00:13:28I don't even want to sell it too much.
00:13:31It's staggering and humbling and beautiful.
00:13:36And so that's been my arc lately.
00:13:38- Well, Hebermann was not there yesterday.
00:13:41He basically said the same thing.
00:13:43So you're in good company.
00:13:44This God pivot.
00:13:48- The God pivot.
00:13:49(both laughing)
00:13:52- It seems to be reliably happening
00:13:57to people who get to a certain place.
00:14:02So I'm interested in,
00:14:05there's a bunch of ideas that are being mapped here.
00:14:08So I love what you said about the unteachable lessons thing,
00:14:10that it's kind of your job to burn your hand.
00:14:13And the reason that I like the term unteachable lessons,
00:14:15and one bit that's probably missing from that essay
00:14:18is to reassure people that the voice in the back of your head
00:14:21that tells you, I told you so, that's a prick.
00:14:24And you shouldn't be listening to that.
00:14:26The reason that these lessons are unteachable
00:14:29is that nobody learns them.
00:14:31So the fact that you supposedly know
00:14:36that it's going to happen, you disregard it, it happens.
00:14:39That is the lesson.
00:14:41The lesson is that everybody doesn't learn the lessons,
00:14:44if that makes sense.
00:14:45And that should hopefully rid you
00:14:46of at least a little bit of the,
00:14:48I should have told you so shame,
00:14:49you should have known that this thing was going to happen.
00:14:51Okay, that's the first thing, which is great.
00:14:54I love your hierarchy of results,
00:14:59actions, emotions, spirituality,
00:15:02and that at each level as you try and pull somebody through,
00:15:06there is a lonely chapter that comes along for the ride,
00:15:09and there is a pullback in terms of real world results.
00:15:12Because you have moved ever out of outcomes
00:15:16and ever more inward, right?
00:15:20Ever more from the world, from the material
00:15:23to something that's a little bit deeper,
00:15:25a little bit closer to self, a little bit like more central,
00:15:30right, increasingly sort of turning you inside out.
00:15:33And at each level of this that you move through
00:15:36is interesting, for me, a few things come up.
00:15:40First off, the first lonely chapter,
00:15:43which I think is accurate,
00:15:44your friends are gonna leave you behind
00:15:45because of that pivot.
00:15:47There's another side to the lonely chapter too,
00:15:49which is your actions throw into harsh spotlight
00:15:54other people, so the looking glass self, right?
00:15:57That you are observing yourself through the influence
00:16:00and the expectation and the perspective of other people,
00:16:03and they have an incentive for you to not change
00:16:05because it's effortful for me to update my opinion.
00:16:08Charlie's the charisma guy.
00:16:09Like, you know, he's like Russell Brand videos
00:16:12and Donald Trump and like, you know, fucking Robert Downey.
00:16:15Like that's, I know Charlie, Charlie's the charisma guy.
00:16:18Oh, fuck, Charlie's changed.
00:16:21I don't like that.
00:16:22First off, it means that if he can change, I can change.
00:16:25And his change throws my lack of change into harsh spotlight.
00:16:28Also, that's effortful.
00:16:30Go back, can you not be, 'cause I already,
00:16:33I had to do a bit of work to work out who you were.
00:16:35Stop fucking changing, right?
00:16:37Another part is, well, if I really care about Charlie,
00:16:41especially if I'm in a relationship with him
00:16:43and he keeps changing, well, maybe what if one of the bits
00:16:47of change that he does means that he sees something in me
00:16:52that can't come along for the ride?
00:16:54What if his evolution results in a discarding of me
00:16:59as his friend or as his partner or whatever?
00:17:02Well, that's not bad.
00:17:03So the people around you have a lot of incentives
00:17:08to keep you where you are.
00:17:09And this isn't, sometimes it's malicious
00:17:12or, you know, sort of conscious, but for the most part,
00:17:14it's just someone going, please don't abandon me.
00:17:16Like you're changing so much and it's wonderful for you,
00:17:19but like, I feel inferior.
00:17:21I feel insufficient.
00:17:23I feel behind.
00:17:24I have this sort of sense of lack of not enoughness
00:17:27and this fear of abandonment.
00:17:29Please like just, can you not like just any leaks out of us
00:17:33in all of these different ways?
00:17:35So I'll pause there.
00:17:37- Yeah, no, I mean, it makes me,
00:17:39you're not making me sad.
00:17:41I'm reminded of my grief over so many of these.
00:17:44And I'm reminded of, there's the people
00:17:47and the perspective that can often be talked about
00:17:49of people holding us back.
00:17:51But what I look at is the terror of being the one
00:17:54who is changing and recognizing, oh my God,
00:17:57you're staying the same.
00:17:59I'm the one who is forcing our relationship
00:18:02into a new structure.
00:18:03And the shame and pain and grief of that.
00:18:07- I see in you, person who isn't changing,
00:18:09the pain of watching me, person who is changing, change.
00:18:13I might stop changing in order to-
00:18:14- And it's hard for me to be around you.
00:18:16So when you're in a liminal space,
00:18:17and I've seen this many times,
00:18:19when I was in this in-between space
00:18:21of still really wanting material success
00:18:23in a way that just hooked me
00:18:25and also sensing that it was unsatisfying,
00:18:27I would have these days where I'd like start work
00:18:29and then like, oh, get away from me.
00:18:31And so when I sit down with someone
00:18:33who is firmly in that achiever phase
00:18:35and they're rock solid in it,
00:18:37it's more congruent than I am.
00:18:41And I find myself frustrated and angry with their congruence.
00:18:45And so I think this is an interesting way
00:18:47to analyze someone, we don't have to go deep into this,
00:18:49but like a Donald Trump or an Andrew Tate.
00:18:51They are deeply congruent at the level of ego.
00:18:54Like they are fully on their own.
00:18:56And I don't mean this judgmentally, on their own egos side.
00:18:59There's not a waver, there's not a flinch,
00:19:01there's not an anything.
00:19:03When you enter into an in-between paradigm space,
00:19:06you're flinching all over the place.
00:19:08You're not sure.
00:19:09- I'm not certain about this.
00:19:11- I kind of think, what do you guys think?
00:19:12You're testing the waters, will anyone come with me?
00:19:16And so it's very difficult to be around high conviction,
00:19:18highly congruent people in a different stage
00:19:21that is particularly a stage that you're coming from
00:19:23when you're in that thing.
00:19:24And so I look back and go, I had to internally
00:19:27and sometimes externally demonize people
00:19:31that I had been close to
00:19:32because they were external representations
00:19:35of the thing that I was growing out of.
00:19:37- You were trying to shed this.
00:19:39- Not even trying, I wish I was trying to stop sharing.
00:19:42It was happening at this point, I couldn't undo it.
00:19:46That was the most frustrating part.
00:19:48I was like, if I could go back, I would.
00:19:50- A quick aside, if you have been feeling a bit sluggish,
00:19:54your testosterone levels might be the problem.
00:19:55They play a huge role in your energy,
00:19:57your focus and your performance,
00:19:58but most people have no idea where those are
00:20:01or what to do if something's off,
00:20:03which is why I partnered with function
00:20:04because I wanted a smarter, more comprehensive way
00:20:07to understand what's happening inside of my body.
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00:20:51- Yeah, I mean, the first time I ever saw Peterson Live 2018
00:20:55and someone says the depth of my consciousness
00:20:57causes me to suffer.
00:20:59Is it a blessing or a curse to feel everything so deeply?
00:21:02And he says you take more of the thing
00:21:07that poisons you until you turn it into a tonic
00:21:09that girdles the world around you.
00:21:12Very apocalyptic from Jordan.
00:21:13But then he said, you can try and regress back
00:21:16into a sort of more animalistic state.
00:21:19You can try to sort of devolve.
00:21:20You can put Pandora's toys back into her box
00:21:23and try and pretend that you don't know
00:21:24what's on the other side.
00:21:25But it's too bloody late for that.
00:21:28It's too bloody late for that.
00:21:29That's what you're talking about.
00:21:32You're like, fuck, it was so much easier
00:21:36when I was just on my grind.
00:21:39I had congruence, I had conviction.
00:21:41And my conviction looked outwardly like confidence,
00:21:45even if it was ignorance.
00:21:48But it presented as certainty and people really like that.
00:21:52And they seem to be attracted to me
00:21:54'cause my aura was energizing and electric.
00:21:56And I had like shit happening, man.
00:21:58And I didn't doubt myself.
00:22:00I didn't doubt.
00:22:01And it didn't tarnish the whole process.
00:22:04And now I'm like trying to evolve.
00:22:06And my evolution is making me miserable
00:22:08because I don't have the certainty
00:22:12that what I'm doing is what I'm supposed to be doing anymore.
00:22:14- Yeah.
00:22:15I mean, you said a couple words,
00:22:16like confidence comes from confide trust, right?
00:22:20It's the ability to have trust within yourself.
00:22:22So you're in these stages of high conviction,
00:22:24high confidence, and they're authentic
00:22:26to a particular time in your life.
00:22:28Where for me it was, I know what's important.
00:22:30I'm in pursuit of what's important.
00:22:31When I look someone in the eye
00:22:32and I tell them this is what I believe,
00:22:34it's congruent for me.
00:22:35And the terror that happens when your sense of self
00:22:38expands outside of that congruence,
00:22:40where you no longer feel the ability to fully trust
00:22:44this new piece of yourself,
00:22:45that you're becoming aware of.
00:22:47Perhaps not a new piece,
00:22:47but a piece that you're becoming aware of.
00:22:50And as someone who teaches charisma,
00:22:52I have long recognized that conviction is,
00:22:54if I had to say one thing, it is the backbone of charisma,
00:22:57is the ability to be congruent on your own side
00:23:02and internally aligned.
00:23:04But it's not the end all be all,
00:23:07because it doesn't allow for growth in that phase.
00:23:10So you look at like Conor McGregor,
00:23:12super high conviction, has had some emotional issues
00:23:14that he doesn't seem to have been able to integrate well,
00:23:17'cause that would require him to doubt,
00:23:19hey, maybe I haven't been behaving in the best way lately.
00:23:22But the conviction has what's taken him to where he is,
00:23:25so why trade it in, right?
00:23:26- Yep, yep.
00:23:27You're asking somebody to get rid of the thing
00:23:31that they have evidence is effective
00:23:33at getting the results in the real world
00:23:34and respect and admiration in order to do a thing
00:23:39which loses all of that and feels like shit
00:23:42and puts them back to before a white belt.
00:23:45Is it any surprise that people choose
00:23:49to not take that trade?
00:23:52Like it's no surprise to me at all.
00:23:53- It's shocking that anybody does otherwise.
00:23:56That's the bigger surprise.
00:23:57And it only, and if I've heard people talk,
00:23:59and Joe Hudson says something similar,
00:24:01which is you enter into increasingly
00:24:04a state of choicelessness.
00:24:06Like this is not what I would elect from a strategic choice.
00:24:09My mind does not see the value of this.
00:24:12So clearly, but some other part of me,
00:24:14and we could talk as your sense of awareness moves
00:24:17from I am my thoughts, I am thinking about things,
00:24:19I have strategies, plans, ways of engaging with the world.
00:24:21Like I locate myself up here to a bit more embodied.
00:24:24I feel my butt on the ground, my feet on the floor
00:24:26and really like the central column, the heart.
00:24:30This piece right here, this is the tender piece.
00:24:32This is the piece that can do vulnerability.
00:24:33This is the piece that can weep and cry
00:24:36and love and hug fully.
00:24:38And this is the piece that has wonderful strategies
00:24:41and it's really cool and I don't want to throw it out.
00:24:42I think that was something I also tried to do
00:24:45for a period of time, which was a mistake.
00:24:47- What did that look like?
00:24:48- So this is where I think part of the reason
00:24:52that I think people, men in particular,
00:24:55have negative associations with sensitivity and vulnerability
00:24:59is because some of the early stages of arriving there
00:25:03where it's not more fully integrated
00:25:05can look like you're just a raw nerve.
00:25:08And anyone who touches you, you just cry
00:25:10and there's a lack of containment.
00:25:12There's not a full embodiment of the vulnerability.
00:25:14And so part of what helps you have some consistent thread
00:25:21of past, future is your head.
00:25:23It's the part of you, like you need it to strategize.
00:25:25But I think the big shift, and again,
00:25:27I'm very much a student in this.
00:25:28I'm learning from people far ahead of me,
00:25:30is that this switches from the master to the tool, right?
00:25:36The mind, the strategy, all of that sort of stuff
00:25:38becomes something that you can deploy from time to time,
00:25:40but not something that when you sit and meditate
00:25:42chats the entire time.
00:25:43You can drop into a quieter felt place more often.
00:25:48And again, I'm a bit above my pay grade here
00:25:50'cause I don't live there.
00:25:51I'm talking about the thing, yeah.
00:25:54- How many people have the choice with this?
00:26:02- This is another thing that upsets me
00:26:04is I had the impression that there are so many guys
00:26:07that are similar to you and I have hit achievement thresholds
00:26:11and moved goalposts so many times.
00:26:14And I admire them and I look up to them
00:26:16and I've learned a ton about business from them.
00:26:18And I see so many of the influencers like you
00:26:23and in the space, I feel like they're there.
00:26:27I have this conversation with a lot of people.
00:26:30And what I've heard before is like,
00:26:31oh wow, the hair on my arms is standing up
00:26:34as you're talking about this stuff.
00:26:35I feel it, it's yeah.
00:26:37There's some demons that I'm running away from,
00:26:39some stuff in my past that I thought that I could bury
00:26:42that I'm willing to verbally acknowledge
00:26:43but not necessarily dive into.
00:26:46And so I do think that there is a choice
00:26:48at the edge of all of these thresholds.
00:26:50Just like there's a choice at the edge of results,
00:26:52which is, hey, I've seen that people who take these actions
00:26:55start to get in shape, start to earn more money.
00:26:57Am I willing to let go of the safety and comfort
00:27:00of not trying in order to apply myself?
00:27:03I think similarly there's a question of,
00:27:05am I willing to let go of the certainty and the control
00:27:08that I have by completely managing
00:27:11all of my actions all the time
00:27:13and to enter into this irrational, feminine, emotional space
00:27:17where I am not totally in control?
00:27:20And I think that there's a lot of people
00:27:22have that choice today.
00:27:24I think we all have choices.
00:27:25- Well, the raw nerve thing I think
00:27:27is an interesting analogy
00:27:29because almost all cross-cultural definitions
00:27:32of masculinity include emotional control
00:27:36or some variant of that.
00:27:39- You can shortcut it.
00:27:40So the way to, I think the depth of masculinity
00:27:44is to feel everything
00:27:48but to have a vessel that can contain it, right?
00:27:51So that it is not just immediate instinctual.
00:27:54You hurt me, I punch you, right?
00:27:56It's not you hurt me, I just dump on you, I cry at this.
00:27:59That you're still feeling intensely
00:28:02but there's a system that can feel it,
00:28:05tend to yourself, not abandon yourself,
00:28:08be vulnerable in front of the other person
00:28:09which would be to show them that you're hurt
00:28:11without dumping it on them and then choose how to behave.
00:28:15You can shortcut that though by just not feeling.
00:28:18You can just go, somebody insult me, I don't care.
00:28:21That's a hater.
00:28:22Like you can get mental models and all sorts of stuff
00:28:25to just cut everything beneath this off and just say,
00:28:28well, that wouldn't be practical for me
00:28:30to listen to what the haters say
00:28:31and you can just lose all of the feeling.
00:28:34And what you gain from that is an incredible efficiency
00:28:37in terms of getting stuff done.
00:28:38I mean, if you look at the wealthiest people in the world,
00:28:40they are very good at disconnecting from their feelings
00:28:42most of the time.
00:28:43It's tough to make billions and billions
00:28:46and billions of dollars and stay in the game
00:28:47for that amount of time at that intensity level
00:28:50without abusing your own feelings, right?
00:28:55- Because you're permanently having to suppress.
00:28:57- Yes, and you can make a lot of money.
00:28:59- But it gets in the way, right?
00:29:00This is one of the reasons why an interesting definition
00:29:04of vulnerability, Joe Hudson's definition of vulnerability,
00:29:07telling the truth even when it's scary
00:29:09or speaking your truth even when it's scary.
00:29:11That is very much a lean in definition of vulnerability.
00:29:17But especially as you transition from like results to action
00:29:22and then action to emotions,
00:29:25your outcomes in life are reliably going to get worse
00:29:27and you're going to feel worse
00:29:29and people are going to treat you worse.
00:29:30So, well, why would I do that?
00:29:34I'm going to sacrifice the only observable metric
00:29:36that anybody cares about and that I can flex on Instagram
00:29:40and in an increasingly meritocratic, rationalist,
00:29:42materialist society is the only one
00:29:43that people can judge me based on outwardly, right?
00:29:47No one knows the peace of mind I have
00:29:49when I go to bed at night.
00:29:50And I can kind of forget that.
00:29:52It's like, yeah, sure enough.
00:29:53I haven't had a peaceful night of sleep in three years,
00:29:56but like, you know, like fucking look at my car.
00:30:00So I think an interesting unifying thread
00:30:04that I see between at least some of the people
00:30:08trying to come up with-
00:30:10Well, so there are ways of conceding
00:30:12and I think you're raising a really good point here.
00:30:14That is, if you just,
00:30:18to become a monk is not available to many people.
00:30:21Technically you could fly to Nepal
00:30:22and wear a loincloth and hold a cup,
00:30:24but that's not a likely outcome for a lot of people.
00:30:28So there is this need to exist in consensus,
00:30:31economic reality where the opinions
00:30:34of other people affect you.
00:30:36They matter, they have a direct impact
00:30:39on your level of survivability
00:30:41and also just your ability to be social and happy in life.
00:30:43So that's real, all the things that you're saying.
00:30:45But then there's also the unique spiritual calling
00:30:49that everyone has, which is that it's the little voice
00:30:52that you can learn to drown out.
00:30:53It's not a loud voice, but it is a persistent voice.
00:30:57And it's always there.
00:30:59Like, warned you at the beginning of the relationship,
00:31:02warned you midway through the relationship.
00:31:03It's there at the end of the relationship, right?
00:31:05It's just there.
00:31:07And I think, I know that what I'm trying to do
00:31:10is to find a marriage of those two things
00:31:13where I am honoring the need to function
00:31:17and live in the world and produce stuff
00:31:18that other people want and like
00:31:21and having attention outwardly focused
00:31:23in order to do that. And to respect
00:31:24your own evolutionary programming,
00:31:27which is you're a social creature.
00:31:28Of course.
00:31:29You need validation, recognition.
00:31:30You don't want to be abandoned by the tribe.
00:31:32You don't want to be so weird and fucking esoteric
00:31:35that nobody can relate to you
00:31:36because that's probably going to be pretty tough to handle.
00:31:39Yes, and I think a huge aspect of communication
00:31:43and empathy is the ability to go,
00:31:44where's this person at?
00:31:45Meet them where they're at.
00:31:46And meet them where they are.
00:31:47And that requires external focus.
00:31:50Then there's the internal focus,
00:31:51which is, can I shut it all out?
00:31:53And no matter what anybody says or does
00:31:56or thinks or cares, what's true about me?
00:31:59And this is hardest in the realm of like,
00:32:00why am I here?
00:32:01For some people, it's what is my sexuality?
00:32:04There's these very, very challenging questions.
00:32:07And there's always this tug.
00:32:08Well, how are people going to respond to it?
00:32:09What will they like?
00:32:10Ah, that wouldn't work financially.
00:32:11And I think to become able to hold
00:32:16or allow both of those currents to exist in you
00:32:20at the same time is the work.
00:32:22And there's not like a checklist
00:32:24that I can give you in order to do it.
00:32:25I'm still learning it myself.
00:32:27But I'm waking up to the tension between those.
00:32:30And I'm also waking up as you go.
00:32:33I think the cool thing is you can follow either one
00:32:36and they will lead you to one another eventually.
00:32:39Because if I had this period of,
00:32:41if I look at the beginning of "Charisma on Command,"
00:32:42it was very external focused.
00:32:44How are people like what I'm doing?
00:32:45Is the girl at the bar happy with what I'm saying, right?
00:32:48All of that stuff.
00:32:49I'll make a video.
00:32:50But it actually took me at this roundabout route
00:32:52to this beautiful, creative thing that I got to build,
00:32:56especially early on in the business.
00:32:58And so in pursuing this external egoic dream
00:33:01of living on the beach with my friends,
00:33:03doing work that I wanted while doing yoga, I found myself.
00:33:06Like I found this internal guy.
00:33:07And then I lost him.
00:33:09And then in the last couple of years,
00:33:11you can also lean to the internal side,
00:33:14which is you go deeply internal.
00:33:15And for a while, I mean,
00:33:16I know we don't wanna do too much personal stuff,
00:33:18but I was like, I'm gonna do these weird projects.
00:33:20I'm gonna make a Dungeons & Dragons show.
00:33:21And I'm gonna make- - I loved it.
00:33:23- I'm gonna make stuff that nobody wants to watch, right?
00:33:26And I don't care.
00:33:27I don't care.
00:33:28This is me, me, me, me, me.
00:33:29And then you go, oh, this isn't as satisfying.
00:33:31Like I want to serve.
00:33:33I actually do want to give of myself,
00:33:36but in a way that is meaningful to other people.
00:33:39And so I think if I look at the arc
00:33:41of what charisma meant to me, there was this,
00:33:44who do I have to be in order to get what I need
00:33:47from the world, is a foundational question,
00:33:49I think, of every child, every adolescent.
00:33:51And I think entering into maturity
00:33:53is about recognizing oneself as capable,
00:33:58still interdependent, but the love comes from me.
00:34:01The love is who I am, and I radiate that.
00:34:04It's not how can I get love?
00:34:05It's how can I return to the love that I am?
00:34:07And when you do that,
00:34:08a different kind of economic activity comes online,
00:34:12which is service.
00:34:13And I feel like I'm at the precipice of this.
00:34:15Like for the first time,
00:34:17the energy of the questions that I'm asking
00:34:19isn't merely how can I people please and serve,
00:34:22and yes, I'll get some money from that.
00:34:23It's that level of service.
00:34:27It's what's the most honest, true way
00:34:30that I can meet this person where they are
00:34:31and still tell the truth.
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00:35:37That's drinkelement.com/modernwisdom.
00:35:43Oh.
00:35:44What about the one that's in between?
00:35:47So you've gone,
00:35:48"How can I get the outcomes that I want in the world?"
00:35:51I assume that there's one that's in between those two,
00:35:53which is, "How do I serve the people?"
00:35:55Which is, "How do I serve myself?"
00:35:57Like, "How do I learn about me and do the inner work thing?"
00:36:01And I think I get the sense
00:36:02that that's the last seven, six, five years
00:36:04or whatever it is for you.
00:36:05So is that right to say that there is a kind of a middle?
00:36:09I think that serving oneself is a wonderful point
00:36:12at any stage, anywhere,
00:36:14'cause they eventually become the same,
00:36:15serving oneself. - On your journey, though,
00:36:16with this, "I want the outcomes I want in the world."
00:36:20Got some, fuck that, didn't get it.
00:36:21You don't go straight from there to service.
00:36:25- Correct, correct, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:36:26So they're all levels of self-service
00:36:28at the level that you're capable of doing it.
00:36:30So self-service looks like,
00:36:32at that level of awareness, if you will,
00:36:34"I need something, they have it.
00:36:36Who do I have to become and be to get it?"
00:36:38That's me serving myself.
00:36:39Now, it's an interactive way of doing it.
00:36:42Then service becomes, "I'm tired of doing that.
00:36:44I want to be more honest about my emotions."
00:36:46So self-service is taking a break, slowing down,
00:36:49withdrawing for a period of time, going inward.
00:36:52There's this dark night of the soul.
00:36:53If you look at the hero's journey,
00:36:55if you look at it like a clock,
00:36:56there's the lower half of the clock,
00:36:58which is the trials and tribulations.
00:37:00We can talk more about that,
00:37:02but those mythic stories have this period of time,
00:37:07as Jordan Peterson would say, the belly of the whale,
00:37:09where you are compelled to acknowledge
00:37:14the darkness inside, the pain inside of yourself.
00:37:18And so that is what self-service looks like.
00:37:20If something keeps tapping me on the shoulder,
00:37:23telling me that I got to pay attention,
00:37:24I'm going to go attend to that.
00:37:26And we could talk about specifically
00:37:27what that might look like,
00:37:28but I know you're talking to Joe Hudson.
00:37:29He's wonderful for this sort of thing.
00:37:32- I want to get your perspective on both of those things,
00:37:35the, how do you say, the 3 p.m. to 9 p.m.?
00:37:38- Yeah, 3 p.m. to 9 p.m.
00:37:40So first off, I love mythology these days.
00:37:43I think Carl Jung is perhaps the most brilliant man
00:37:47of the 20th century,
00:37:48and I think deeply underrated even his thing.
00:37:50I look at Jordan Peterson
00:37:51and the impact that he had on society,
00:37:53and there must be a union giving us some lessons somewhere.
00:37:58We crave it as a country in the West,
00:38:01because I think it is the synthesis
00:38:04of the analytical mind thing that is so popular
00:38:08in the West materialism with the Eastern spiritual side.
00:38:11I think Carl Jung is that bridge for many people.
00:38:14So then you have Joseph Campbell,
00:38:16who comes and creates this hero's journey arc.
00:38:18I'll talk broadly about it,
00:38:21but what I've seen is that these occur
00:38:23in 12-year cycles roughly.
00:38:25I'm not saying this,
00:38:26but I've noticed the first 12-year cycle
00:38:27for me was starting charisma on command.
00:38:29And the entire idea of the hero's journey
00:38:32is that you enter into a part of yourself
00:38:36that you didn't know existed.
00:38:38You come out with a treasure
00:38:39and you bring it back to the world.
00:38:41And so the entering into the hard part
00:38:45the first time around was I have to dig deeper,
00:38:47work harder, take financial risks, all that kind of stuff.
00:38:50And what I bring back
00:38:51is this way of being with courage, I would say.
00:38:54That was like the gift that I had to share,
00:38:56which is you too can go to Brazil
00:38:57and start your own business
00:38:58and talk to that person that you're attracted to.
00:38:59And it's a spiritual gift that you're giving
00:39:03and it can come through the medium of YouTube or whatever.
00:39:06Descending into it this time,
00:39:08I would say the gift that I'm finding is
00:39:10through reconnecting with all the split off parts of myself,
00:39:16if one connects with as many of the split off parts
00:39:19of their self, which means going into the times
00:39:21that someone was cruel to you,
00:39:23that you were cruel to others, the pain in your life,
00:39:25the grief that you haven't processed,
00:39:26all of those sorts of things.
00:39:28As you bring more of those together,
00:39:30you find an abiding
00:39:32love
00:39:35that is there.
00:39:37And that's, for me, was the turn from the emotional inquiry,
00:39:40which is really tough to sometimes describe the value of it
00:39:43'cause you're like, "This is really challenging."
00:39:46But I would say the other side is,
00:39:48it's like, "Oh, I know peace.
00:39:50"I cried listening to a song on the way over here twice
00:39:56"because music is beautiful.
00:39:57"I watered flowers the other day
00:39:59"and they came more back to life than I cried
00:40:03"because it was so beautiful."
00:40:05To participate in something so lovely.
00:40:08And the world is just more stunning.
00:40:11And it's not like, oh, that's stunning
00:40:13if I get 10 million followers
00:40:16or it's stunning if I win the prize
00:40:17or if the girl likes me.
00:40:18It's like, no, no, it's all stunning.
00:40:20I told you, sitting here with you today,
00:40:22watching your growth path is fucking...
00:40:24- The word that comes to mind is wholeness or enoughness.
00:40:29- Thank you for speaking it more clearly than I did.
00:40:31That's exactly it, yeah.
00:40:33It's wholeness.
00:40:35We fragment ourselves in order
00:40:37to effectively fit in as children, right?
00:40:40So we've got this eclectic, weird interest
00:40:42or we have a sexuality that doesn't fit in with our...
00:40:44So we go, that's not me, that's other people.
00:40:47And you see it come through in all kinds of projections.
00:40:49So often in some of the most strict religious communities,
00:40:53they have, as we know, these pastors or these priests,
00:40:55and I'm not saying all priests,
00:40:56but are some of whom are most likely to be vocally anti-gay
00:41:00but have secret dalliances on the side
00:41:03because they've split off that piece of themselves
00:41:05because they believe that their community and God
00:41:07does not approve of who they are, right?
00:41:09So we all do this in different ways.
00:41:11Our community doesn't approve of our sadness.
00:41:13It doesn't approve of our sensitivity, of our artistry,
00:41:15whatever it is.
00:41:16And so in recovering all of that wholeness,
00:41:19you get back more of yourself.
00:41:20And what that looks like is more creativity,
00:41:22more connection, more joy.
00:41:24You stop trying to impress the people
00:41:26that you've been so caught up on for the last 10 years
00:41:29and actually start hanging out with the people
00:41:30that have loved you all along and are there.
00:41:32You become aware that there are more people like that
00:41:35all around you.
00:41:37I know that I spent a lot of time focused on the person
00:41:39who was just out of reach as you described in your--
00:41:43- Zone of proximal development socially.
00:41:45- Yeah, exactly, yeah.
00:41:46- Or relationally.
00:41:47- Yes, yes, yes.
00:41:49- So the question that I have
00:41:56and I think is kind of an important one
00:41:59is to try and get people to think about
00:42:01what their definition of success is.
00:42:04Like what does getting the outcome that you want look like?
00:42:07And at each level of resolution or depth
00:42:10or the outcome that I want is to be financially secure.
00:42:15The outcome that I want
00:42:16is for the people that I admire to admire me.
00:42:17The outcome that I want is to be attuned with my emotions
00:42:20and be able to feel things.
00:42:21The outcome that I want is to truly know God,
00:42:24whatever it might be.
00:42:26And the conflict that I see comes between people
00:42:31who have differing definitions of the outcome
00:42:33that they want for their life.
00:42:35So the person that's action-oriented is saying,
00:42:37well, you are trading the thing that I want,
00:42:41which is outcomes, for the thing that you want,
00:42:45which is emotional presence, connectedness, sense of peace.
00:42:50And I think the reason that we have this bit of self-doubt
00:42:55in the back of our minds
00:42:58as you're the person that's moving through it
00:43:00is you turn around and look at the person who is congruent,
00:43:03who has the thing, plus the confidence and conviction
00:43:07that you used to have, and you're like,
00:43:09I've lost all of those.
00:43:12I've had to let go of all of those.
00:43:14My real world results are fucking falling backward.
00:43:18And I no longer appear as certain,
00:43:21and I don't have the certainty myself
00:43:22to carry myself through. - I don't feel it.
00:43:24- Yeah, yeah, exactly.
00:43:25So they don't respect me as much,
00:43:26and I'm less effective in the world.
00:43:28And I also have self-doubt about whether or not
00:43:30the thing that I'm doing is the thing
00:43:31I'm supposed to be doing.
00:43:33You go, well, where in there is the reward?
00:43:38And at each level, it's the same as,
00:43:40you're telling me that I'm not going to sleep in,
00:43:43which is something that's comfortable for me to do,
00:43:45in order to get up and do my meditation
00:43:47or go to the gym on time,
00:43:48and I'm gonna be ostracized by my friends
00:43:49because I can't go out.
00:43:51My drinking buddies aren't my drinking buddies
00:43:52'cause I'm not drinking no more.
00:43:53And I don't have my gym buddies yet
00:43:55because I haven't gone to the gym enough
00:43:56to get respect from the people that go to the gym,
00:43:57and I haven't worked out how to speak to them
00:43:59and what their culture is.
00:44:00So at each different fucking level,
00:44:03you're becoming less effective in the paradigm
00:44:07that you know on this sort of plane of existence
00:44:09that you're aware of to go through Dark Night of the Soul
00:44:12to then come back out the other side.
00:44:15And do you remember when Jordan talked about King Arthur
00:44:20and the Knights of the Round Table?
00:44:21- No, I don't know this one.
00:44:22- Oh, dude.
00:44:23So, King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table,
00:44:28they need to go and get treasure from the dragon.
00:44:31They all set off on a journey.
00:44:33In order to get to the dragon,
00:44:34they have to go through the forest.
00:44:37Each man enters the forest
00:44:39at the point that looks darkest to him.
00:44:41Oh, I fucking love that visual.
00:44:45I think it's so sick.
00:44:47It's so cool.
00:44:48Okay, what is your particular pathology?
00:44:51What is your particular fear?
00:44:53Because that's the thing that you're going to face.
00:44:55Is it people pleasing?
00:44:57Is it the inability to sit with silence?
00:44:59Is it the fact that you desperately need the validation
00:45:01of other people?
00:45:03Pick your mental malady of choice.
00:45:05That's the thing that you end up facing.
00:45:10And yeah, I really want to plainly call out
00:45:15what the pain is.
00:45:17For every level, there's a devil.
00:45:19And what is the devil that you're...
00:45:22To try as best as we can to be like,
00:45:25okay, I think this is probably what it's going to feel like
00:45:29to go through each one.
00:45:30- So for someone moving from action to emotion.
00:45:32I mean, you just nailed it.
00:45:33Which is I am at every level,
00:45:35you are giving up success in that thing
00:45:38to get something that you have no promises.
00:45:41Brian Wettin has an interesting framing,
00:45:44not just around this,
00:45:45but he says a travesty is when you give up
00:45:48the higher for the lower.
00:45:50So travesty is when you trade your inner peace for money.
00:45:53Sacrifice is when you give up the lower for the higher.
00:45:57And so you give up the utter freedom of being a bachelor
00:46:00to start a family or something like that.
00:46:03And so I think this is...
00:46:05To pull on another myth, this is Abraham.
00:46:07This is the sacrifice.
00:46:08This is the willingness to give up the lower for the higher.
00:46:10And that story is pretty horrifying in a lot of ways
00:46:12because he ties up his son and it's about to kill him.
00:46:14But the underlying idea is that there is a higher.
00:46:17There is a command inside of me that I'm not going to deny.
00:46:21I'm terrified of it.
00:46:22I don't want to do it.
00:46:23Soren Kierkegaard wrote "Fear and Trembling,"
00:46:25which is exactly what you're expected to feel
00:46:28when you have that divine call tell you,
00:46:32"Leave your job, exit this relationship, marry her."
00:46:36That's a terrifying one.
00:46:38Have a baby.
00:46:39When that call from this place,
00:46:41as you get familiar with it calls,
00:46:43it asks you to trade in your identity of who you were
00:46:47and it is an ego death every time.
00:46:50Every single time that little identity must die
00:46:54and something else is born.
00:46:55And there's not the guarantee,
00:46:58even though we can rationally go,
00:46:59"I'm still going to be alive," and all these things.
00:47:01But that's the feeling, is ego death.
00:47:04Yeah, dig into the fear and trembling
00:47:06because I think a lot of people,
00:47:08the sort of people that have made it
00:47:09this far into this episode,
00:47:11I assume are either going, "What the fuck?"
00:47:15Or they say, "Oh, there's something here.
00:47:17I'm resonating and there's something here."
00:47:20- Neutonic.
00:47:21- Thank you.
00:47:22There is something here.
00:47:23It's fucking evidence-based,
00:47:25very tasty zero calorie energy drink.
00:47:27That fear and trembling,
00:47:31that peering over the precipice,
00:47:35that sort of existential vertigo,
00:47:38where you go like, "Yeah, yeah."
00:47:41You're like, "Holy fuck."
00:47:46- What more is there to say about that sensation
00:47:49and about stepping into it
00:47:51and about the first steps and the biggest steps?
00:47:52- You don't have to force yourself.
00:47:54It will call.
00:47:55It will call you.
00:47:56And if you're going, sitting here,
00:47:57and you probably haven't made it this far,
00:47:58but if you're going, "I don't know."
00:47:59I kind of just, I really encourage
00:48:01and love people being where they're at.
00:48:04So I think a mistake that I had made,
00:48:06which is everybody needs to move as quickly as possible
00:48:09through these phases.
00:48:09That's all to optimize our idea.
00:48:11Your time will come.
00:48:12If what I am saying is true,
00:48:15this is not something you have to do.
00:48:18Like your ego is not going to be the one doing this.
00:48:21It's going to, in many ways,
00:48:22you have to participate and say yes at some point.
00:48:25You'll have your choice, as we talked about earlier.
00:48:28But the call will come.
00:48:30And you can ignore it about 10 million times.
00:48:32It will keep ringing for you.
00:48:35And the consequences will get more and more dire.
00:48:37You ignore it once, you go out.
00:48:39It's a little bit of a difficult relationship.
00:48:40Ignore it for 20 years.
00:48:41You're in a loveless relationship
00:48:43and now you've got kids and a divorce on your hands.
00:48:45Like all of that sort of stuff.
00:48:47The consequences of not listening
00:48:49begin to erode the actions, the results, the emotions anyway.
00:48:54So the good news is you don't have to do anything.
00:48:57- Yeah, one way or another,
00:48:58this realization is going to arrive.
00:49:01What do you think is going on there?
00:49:03Is that, do you come to think about it in material terms?
00:49:06Do you come to think about it as the universe
00:49:08having to ramp up the volume of the lesson
00:49:10until you go like, "Hey, Charlie, now, please."
00:49:15- If all of this is right,
00:49:18fundamentally you are so much more than you are aware of.
00:49:21And we all recognize this implicitly,
00:49:23which is if I were to say,
00:49:25what's your blood pressure right now?
00:49:26What's happening in your liver?
00:49:27Obviously there are pieces of you of which you are unaware
00:49:31and do not need to be in charge of them.
00:49:32When you go to sleep, they just keep humming along,
00:49:34keeping you going.
00:49:36There are massive psychological pieces of us,
00:49:40spiritual pieces of us that exist that we're unaware of.
00:49:43You just don't have to be aware of.
00:49:45It's taken care of for you, but it's still you.
00:49:49So the idea is that this always has been the case.
00:49:52It always will be the case.
00:49:53You're just waking up to it
00:49:55and becoming more aware of it as you can swallow it.
00:49:58Because if you were to be dumped into it,
00:50:00as some people do with intense psychedelic experiences,
00:50:03you can crack, you can break yourself
00:50:06if you go a little bit, a little bit,
00:50:08you go too fast into these sorts of things.
00:50:10And so actually rather than speeding through these,
00:50:13it's like, enjoy, enjoy the ride.
00:50:15I remember believing that optimization
00:50:18and getting everything you want,
00:50:19be like 25, 26, 27 was the end all be all.
00:50:23Some of the happiest and most joyous times of my life
00:50:25was doing that stuff.
00:50:27- Me too.
00:50:28- You just can't go back.
00:50:29You can't step in the same river twice, right?
00:50:31And so where I wanna help people
00:50:34and you asked who's there,
00:50:35it's when you were like, I remember it was so good.
00:50:38Like, why can't I make it go back to that?
00:50:39It's you can't go back.
00:50:41You know too much.
00:50:42You have learned too much.
00:50:43You have come too far. - It's too bloody late
00:50:44for that. - It's too bloody late.
00:50:46(both laughing)
00:50:47- You've got to move forward.
00:50:48And so what I hope to do with the rest of my career,
00:50:51and I'm learning in this conversation and others,
00:50:54is to really help people at those paradigm shift points,
00:50:57those lonely chapter moments,
00:51:00to move gracefully into the next phase.
00:51:02'Cause it is a bear for all the reasons that you said.
00:51:05It's not fun to do.
00:51:07Nobody is really encouraging you to do it
00:51:09in your current sphere.
00:51:10I would just love, love, love to hold space for people
00:51:14to make those leaps.
00:51:16It's such a privilege to watch somebody.
00:51:18As you've seen, if you've ever seen someone
00:51:20exit out of victim consciousness and start to go to the gym
00:51:23and start to dial in because of something that you've said,
00:51:26it's like, oh my God, it feels so good.
00:51:29It just is, it's true at every level.
00:51:30- The next one, the problem is the movement
00:51:33from action to emotion is so unsexy
00:51:38in a way that the movement from results to action is not.
00:51:46Like that, every underdog movie ever in history
00:51:50has a montage of a guy sorting his life out
00:51:53by learning to be disciplined and upward aiming.
00:51:57Very few of them have a guy deeply learning
00:52:01to get in touch with the inner child inside of him
00:52:03and crying at Christmas movies.
00:52:05Very few, very few.
00:52:06And if it is, it's wrapped in this sort of redemption
00:52:10of a person who was too far on one side
00:52:14in terms of their masculinity.
00:52:15And this was a righteous correction
00:52:18that was like comically needed
00:52:19in order to rebalance the people around them.
00:52:22For the most part, a man specifically getting in touch
00:52:24with his emotions is not in service of him.
00:52:27It's in service of the people around him.
00:52:28In some ways that's beautiful,
00:52:30but the way that Hollywood portrays it is not that.
00:52:33It's not this sort of existential gift to the world.
00:52:36It's like, no, his wife needed him to be more attuned
00:52:40when she was, like he was on his phone
00:52:42and filling in Excel spreadsheets when they were at dinner.
00:52:45Like, okay, that's a pretty low resolution way to look at it.
00:52:48- Yeah, I mean, you're very right.
00:52:50I think we live in an either childlike
00:52:54or adolescent culture in terms of most people's development.
00:52:57And even the term unsexy is like,
00:52:58that's really what adolescents care about.
00:53:01Adolescents are trying to be sexy.
00:53:03That's the thing.
00:53:04And into your 20s, 30s, it's fine.
00:53:06It's not to say that you can't have it,
00:53:07but it's not sexy.
00:53:10It's loving.
00:53:11And there's a difference that like,
00:53:13you're not trying to be sexy
00:53:15is do other people find me attractive
00:53:17and want to more towards me?
00:53:18Loving is do I feel love?
00:53:20And am I radiating it to myself and to other people?
00:53:23So you're right.
00:53:24It's not sexy.
00:53:25It's loving.
00:53:27And even I think those words are apt
00:53:29because the quality of romantic interactions
00:53:32that you choose in this period shifts from what's sexy,
00:53:35who's cool, who's physically attractive,
00:53:37who can help me with my status,
00:53:39to who do I love and what do I love?
00:53:42And that changes the quality
00:53:44of your romantic relationships dramatically.
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00:54:55What if, I know that you mentioned,
00:54:59basically, the volume of the lesson will get turned up
00:55:02until you start to hear it,
00:55:03would be a way to maybe say that.
00:55:06Or you die.
00:55:08Or you die.
00:55:08Let's say that there's someone who goes,
00:55:12"I feel like the volume's kind of loud already,
00:55:16and the fleeting thoughts and the little whispers
00:55:20are kind of, I feel ready to pay attention to them,
00:55:25but I'm still scared of making that transition."
00:55:27You mentioned that you want to be kind of a careful shepherd.
00:55:31Who was the boatman that helped get Dante across the river?
00:55:36Who's that dude?
00:55:38You know, Dante's inferno.
00:55:39- It's not Karen from Greek mythology, okay.
00:55:41- Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:55:43So he's blind, I think.
00:55:44- Yeah.
00:55:45- And I've got my fucking mythology glossary.
00:55:50You want to be this boatsman, shepherd thing.
00:55:53You're like, "Hey, you're going from this bit of land
00:55:55to this bit of land here."
00:55:56And let me make it at least a little bit less scary
00:56:01that this is a journey that you can do with grace, right?
00:56:06Graciously, I think was one of the words that you said.
00:56:09Someone is on the precipice, they're on the cusp of,
00:56:14I feel like this is an evolutionary step
00:56:18that I'm prepared to take,
00:56:19and I'm kind of like ready.
00:56:21Without pushing and without going like,
00:56:25wait for the volume to be turned up,
00:56:27what are some of the things that you would say
00:56:29to that sort of a person?
00:56:30- Yeah.
00:56:31One, what I hope to convey for the first chunk of this
00:56:34is this is normal.
00:56:35This is you're not broken that this is happening to you.
00:56:38In fact, if you want to take some spiritual pride in it,
00:56:41like you're advanced, you're moving quickly.
00:56:44And even though it's hard, nothing's broken.
00:56:48The second thing that I would offer would be
00:56:49you're going to enter into a stage,
00:56:51probably if you're coming from the optimizer stage,
00:56:54that is far more irrational and feminine and intuitive
00:56:57than you're familiar with.
00:56:58And those three words probably terrify you
00:57:01because they're associated with the victim stage,
00:57:05which is I'm a tumbleweed and life just happens to me
00:57:08and I have no command of anything.
00:57:11- It is evolution, but feels like devolution.
00:57:12- Correct.
00:57:13And that's, I totally get the optimizer sees somebody
00:57:16who is doing work intuitively.
00:57:18And they're like, that's who I used to be 10 years ago
00:57:20and my life was miserable.
00:57:21No way am I leaning into that.
00:57:23But there's a difference between listening to craving
00:57:26and listening to intuition.
00:57:28So we're trying to turn up, experiment with and explore
00:57:32the feminine, irrational, intuitive callings that you feel.
00:57:36So there's a number of ways to get closer to this.
00:57:39And there's degrees of safety and risk
00:57:42involved with all of them.
00:57:42Some of them are, go with the one intuitively
00:57:46that seems interesting to you first,
00:57:48would be what I would say.
00:57:49So you've got standard meditation practices.
00:57:51You have breath work practices, Wim Hofen,
00:57:53otherwise Stan Grof.
00:57:55You have therapy.
00:57:56You have men's groups.
00:57:57You have psychedelics.
00:57:59You have sound healings where they play the bowls
00:58:01and you just allow the vibration to wash over you.
00:58:04You've got long walks in nature.
00:58:06You've got strenuous physical activity
00:58:09that is not rigidly structured.
00:58:11Like I think that the gym where you're pushing yourself
00:58:14and you have to do it, but even you could still drop
00:58:15into like a zenless zone state and that sort of thing.
00:58:19But I would say like more sports, recreational,
00:58:21those sorts of things.
00:58:23Music, all of these sorts of things.
00:58:25Find the one that hits you.
00:58:27And I've done all of these.
00:58:28Singing, dance, all of these kinds of things
00:58:31are this intuitive flow, feminine, reconnect you
00:58:34with joy, feelings, emotions.
00:58:37And then from that, what you'll start to realize
00:58:39is if you do a breath work or therapy,
00:58:41like, oh man, I need to have a conversation with my dad.
00:58:43(both laughing)
00:58:45And so then--
00:58:47- Came here to do breath work.
00:58:48- Yeah, I came here to do breath work.
00:58:49And sometimes it's, I just need to call this person
00:58:51and tell them I love them.
00:58:52I need to apologize.
00:58:53I need to say that that upset me and hurt me.
00:58:56You're gonna start cleaning up the messes
00:58:59that you've left untended.
00:59:01Things that you pretended were okay
00:59:03that are not okay actually.
00:59:05And be gentle with yourself.
00:59:08It's not like I did the breath work.
00:59:10I got, okay, call them right now immediately after.
00:59:12This is gonna be a time span of like,
00:59:14I'll do breath work again tomorrow in a day or two.
00:59:16And if I still feel that way,
00:59:17I can call them when I'm a little bit less raw
00:59:19and I have a little bit more of that containment.
00:59:21So I'm able to have this conversation in a way
00:59:23that is both emotionally vulnerable
00:59:25without emotionally exploding on this person.
00:59:27- Yes, yes, yes, yes, yeah.
00:59:29- And so as you start to do these different
00:59:32intuitive, feminine practices,
00:59:36you're gonna get little hits of,
00:59:38I want to make a Dungeons and Dragons show.
00:59:40I want to make this phone call.
00:59:41I want to do this thing.
00:59:42I don't care how much it costs.
00:59:43You know, like that sort of stuff.
00:59:45And you want to experiment in little ways.
00:59:51And this was crazy,
00:59:53but I was playing a video game two weeks ago.
00:59:55I know, crazy.
00:59:57So I'm playing a video game and after every little level,
00:59:59it's called Hades II.
00:59:59It's got my Greek mythology, I love it.
01:00:02After every minute or so,
01:00:03you have to make a choice between upgrades that you get.
01:00:06And as I'm playing this game, I'm like doing it.
01:00:09And I am optimizing my upgrades
01:00:11'cause they have percentages associated with them.
01:00:13I'm doing the math in my head
01:00:14to see which one is gonna output the most damage
01:00:15to do the thing.
01:00:16And for some reason, fine, thank God, it clicked to me.
01:00:19I was like, what am I doing?
01:00:20Like I've turned this game into a test
01:00:22where I am every time picking the same upgrade.
01:00:25I'm not exploring, I'm not having.
01:00:27So I went, I want the purple one.
01:00:29And it's like, that one's objectively worse.
01:00:30I want the purple one.
01:00:32So I start doing random things in this game
01:00:34and there were a number of things that happened.
01:00:36One, I remember that I was meant to have fun,
01:00:38that like I was playing a game that I had made a job somehow.
01:00:41And this is what I did with my business,
01:00:43but this is just another apocryphal story of,
01:00:45yeah, I do it even in video games.
01:00:46So I started having fun.
01:00:49I unlocked, I escaped my local minimum.
01:00:51So what happens when we're optimizers
01:00:53is we optimize around the world
01:00:55that we understand and know, right?
01:00:57So if you're optimizing for muscles or for whatever,
01:01:00you've got an idea that this is what people like,
01:01:03that maybe women respond to it and it's best for my health.
01:01:06But if you explore it a little bit further,
01:01:07maybe you'd find other modes of exercise
01:01:09that better served your deeper want and deeper need.
01:01:12- There are longer levers that you're just not aware of.
01:01:14- Exactly, but if you can't explore
01:01:16'cause you're such a hyper-optimizer,
01:01:17you can't figure that out.
01:01:18So I actually got better in this game after a dip.
01:01:21I was like, oh wow, I found these new build paths.
01:01:24And then third was,
01:01:25I started looking at the artwork in the game,
01:01:27which is stunningly beautiful.
01:01:28And again, this is meant as a metaphor is, smell the roses.
01:01:32Look at the artwork in the game that you're playing, right?
01:01:35I had gone through life trying to get to the next end
01:01:39as fast as I could.
01:01:41And it had permeated
01:01:42even to my recreational video game playing.
01:01:45And so letting go of that, I was like, wow.
01:01:48And then I'm looking up myths of Aphrodite and Aries
01:01:51and all these things.
01:01:52And I realized, oh,
01:01:53I didn't wanna play the video game to veg.
01:01:55I wanted to play the video game
01:01:56to get inspired about these myths
01:01:58so that I could sit down later with Chachie PT
01:02:00and just reflect on them.
01:02:02And I was like, oh, that's where my intuition was taking me.
01:02:05It was taking me to the game, to the artwork,
01:02:07to the deeper exploration of this myth,
01:02:09but you have to remain in contact with your intuition.
01:02:12One other thing on this that I think is worth mentioning
01:02:14is that a lot of people give their intuition
01:02:17a horrible reputation because at one point,
01:02:20they knew they shouldn't have gotten
01:02:21into that relationship with a girl,
01:02:22but they said, no, I need to, like, I feel it.
01:02:24It's calling me.
01:02:25Three years later, it explodes.
01:02:27She cheats on them.
01:02:27It all goes sideways.
01:02:29And they go, that was the part of me
01:02:31that didn't have a checklist
01:02:32because my intuition pulled me there, my instinct.
01:02:35What they don't realize is that, yes,
01:02:36it might've pulled you into the relationship,
01:02:38but then at month one, it was dinging saying,
01:02:40okay, something's off here.
01:02:42And at six months in, it was saying, time to get out.
01:02:45So the problem is we listen to intuition a tiny, tiny bit,
01:02:48and then we try to bail,
01:02:49but intuition doesn't work like analytics does.
01:02:52Our mind sees the end that we're headed towards.
01:02:55I want a physique.
01:02:57And then it backwards breaks things into steps
01:03:01so that we can achieve the desired outcome.
01:03:03Intuition starts at the next step.
01:03:07It keeps you foggy as to the actual place that you're headed.
01:03:10You don't know,
01:03:11and it's greater than you could possibly imagine,
01:03:13but it only tells you, play the video game.
01:03:16But if you want to use intuition fully,
01:03:18you've got to stick with it through these various steps
01:03:21and let it take you to its desired end,
01:03:24which is terrifying for people who want control
01:03:27because you're playing a video game.
01:03:28This is a waste of time, and I don't know why I'm doing this,
01:03:30but my intuition is telling me to.
01:03:32Now I'm looking at artwork in this dumb video game, right?
01:03:35But if you stick with it,
01:03:37I have found this is a deeper layer of self-trust is,
01:03:40oh, I can trust my analytical mind
01:03:42and I can trust my intuitive flowing feeling thing now,
01:03:47which is a really cool something to have come online.
01:03:50- Well, the perennial over-optimizer,
01:03:54insecure overachiever thing,
01:03:55walking anxiety disorder harness for productivity,
01:03:59like Andrew Wilkinson says.
01:04:01The reason that people are hyper-optimizers,
01:04:04at least in part,
01:04:05is if you know every different permutation
01:04:09of every different potential outcome
01:04:11and you have prepared for it,
01:04:12you have constrained the uncertainty of the future down.
01:04:16You've created order from chaos, right?
01:04:19I don't need to worry about the potential branching futures
01:04:22because I have obsessed so much
01:04:24that 99.9% of potential future universes
01:04:26are ones I've already predicted, accounted for,
01:04:29and been ready in order to be able to deal with.
01:04:32This leaves me with just, I'm ready.
01:04:35I'm ready for this, right?
01:04:36Uncertainty, anxiety is uncertainty.
01:04:39It's ambiguity about what is going to happen.
01:04:42Anxiety is expectation versus outcome.
01:04:46Like I do not know what is going to happen.
01:04:48And this is how much our minds abhor uncertainty
01:04:52that we would rather create a nightmare in our mind
01:04:57than we would deal with
01:04:59a more preferable level of uncertainty.
01:05:01Like we would prefer to imagine the worst possible outcome
01:05:05because at least that collapses the choice architecture
01:05:08down to a single place.
01:05:09Now the place is the worst,
01:05:10it's significantly worse than maybe what even be
01:05:13physically capable by the universe.
01:05:15Like we imagined things that would break the laws of physics.
01:05:17Like fucking someone comes back from the dead to torment us
01:05:20in this version of something.
01:05:21But we prefer that to uncertainty.
01:05:26So when you've got this choice space,
01:05:31you think about thinking in superpositions, right?
01:05:34You collapse the superposition down, you observe it
01:05:36and you're like, okay, this is exactly what's gonna happen.
01:05:39The over-optimizer decides to have as many branches
01:05:42open in their mind as possible,
01:05:44prepare for each different one of them.
01:05:45And that is antithetical to, I trust myself.
01:05:50I'll be okay no matter what happens.
01:05:56I'm whole now and I'm enough.
01:05:58And whatever comes in the future,
01:06:01I will be okay and whole then too.
01:06:04And if you have come from a situation where you go,
01:06:08well, I happened to life.
01:06:11I had agency and intention and I took myself from a place
01:06:15that I didn't want to be to one that I did
01:06:17through intention and agency and action and leaning in
01:06:21and making a fucking dent in the world.
01:06:25Like that is the strategy.
01:06:30And that was the big first,
01:06:31like this is literally every first level archetype,
01:06:36movie, underdog, Rocky, fucking cut scene thing ever.
01:06:40Like that's literally what, that is the hero's journey.
01:06:42And it's like, that gets you to like three o'clock.
01:06:45- There's a masculine thread,
01:06:48which is the one you're talking about,
01:06:49which is order out of chaos, analytical, structured,
01:06:54I happened to life initiating.
01:06:57And then there's the feminine thread,
01:06:58which is receptive, listening,
01:07:01what does life want for me, feeling, flowing, et cetera.
01:07:04And so it's not to just be feminine.
01:07:07I think this is very important.
01:07:09It's not merely,
01:07:10'cause if you see people that don't have this masculine piece,
01:07:14this is almost like the LA woo woo,
01:07:17I'm a spiritual coach at age 23.
01:07:19I just follow my bliss and follow my intuition
01:07:22and I can't pay my bills.
01:07:24There's something that they have there,
01:07:25which is a willingness to go with the flow,
01:07:28but they lack the ability to unify these two.
01:07:30And so Carl Jung talk about the highros gamos,
01:07:32which is the sacred marriage of the divine masculine
01:07:35and the divine feminine principle.
01:07:38I think as a society,
01:07:39this is perhaps what's going on with men and women
01:07:40at some level.
01:07:42What we've done is say,
01:07:42okay, look, men, you can do the masculine piece.
01:07:44Women, you can do the feminine piece.
01:07:46The union is gonna come at the level
01:07:48of both of you guys getting together.
01:07:50It works, it's been stable for a long time.
01:07:53There's problems with it, as we've sort of seen,
01:07:55which is women are encountering the problems
01:07:58that men have had.
01:07:59Now that they enter into the workplace,
01:07:59they're finding meaninglessness,
01:08:01which men have known for a long time.
01:08:03Just slaving away to take care of the family
01:08:06that you don't get to really participate in
01:08:08or be emotionally connected to.
01:08:09That's been hundreds of years of men in the West
01:08:12have known that and now all over the world.
01:08:15Men are experiencing the difficulties of women,
01:08:17which is, hey, when I get in touch with my emotions, it hurts.
01:08:20It hurts like hell.
01:08:21So now I'm realizing that I would like people
01:08:23to consider me and take care of me
01:08:25and I'd like more systemic issues
01:08:27to make things a bit easier for me.
01:08:29And women are going, yeah, we've been saying that
01:08:30for a long time. (laughs)
01:08:31So I feel like there's been this initially painful
01:08:35but beautiful flip that is occurring culturally
01:08:38where women have entered into masculine roles
01:08:40and are getting the benefits of it,
01:08:41but also are beginning to see the costs
01:08:43and the things that the men in their lives have shouldered
01:08:46that they have not understood.
01:08:48And men are getting into the feminine realm
01:08:51of starting to get in touch with their emotions and go,
01:08:53oh wow, this is a lot harder than I had recognized.
01:08:56And my hope is in my personal relationship
01:08:58and more broadly, instead of having the primary unit
01:09:02of masculine and feminine togetherness be husband and wife,
01:09:06I think there's an increasing opportunity
01:09:07for more integrated individuals
01:09:10to be integrated inside of oneself
01:09:13and then to meet the other person
01:09:14and to form something greater.
01:09:16Because when you are dependent upon the other person
01:09:18for feminine access, meaning you have a wife,
01:09:22you are the breadwinner, you're the guy,
01:09:23but she's the one with all the positive emotional feelings
01:09:26and she's connected to the kids,
01:09:28there's a sense of dependency and resentment
01:09:31and frustration and control.
01:09:33- Why do you get that thing and I don't?
01:09:35- Yeah, and because I'm doing all of this, I'm in charge,
01:09:38I get to tell you what to do.
01:09:40You see the woman's side of it,
01:09:42which is I'm completely dependent on this man for survival.
01:09:45I need to people please him.
01:09:47I'm frustrated, I'm gonna cheat with the pool boy.
01:09:49I want to escape this even though I need him to survive,
01:09:53I'm frustrated that I need him to survive.
01:09:55So the idea that we've talked about for a long time,
01:09:57that old cliched advice, which is don't get
01:10:00into a relationship until you are whole in yourself,
01:10:03I think a really useful way to think of that
01:10:05is how are my masculine and my feminine threads
01:10:08integrated inside of myself?
01:10:10Am I capable of achievement, initiation, structure, analysis?
01:10:15And am I also capable of flow,
01:10:17receptivity, intuition, and feeling?
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01:11:30What have you learned about the language of masculine
01:11:35and feminine is not one that I am super familiar with.
01:11:38And I think maybe part of it
01:11:40is that there's a good amount of shame attached to that
01:11:43as you suggested, like what mad,
01:11:47it's cool to say attuned, connected, dropped in,
01:11:51aware, transcending including
01:11:55like Wilberian language type stuff as a guy.
01:11:58Like that still feels,
01:11:59it's the same as Joe's vulnerability definition, right?
01:12:02It still feels like kind of strong, but to say,
01:12:05"Oh, I need to embrace my feminine energy."
01:12:08Like go fuck yourself, man.
01:12:10- My irrationality, that's a big one.
01:12:12- Irrational, yeah.
01:12:14I mean, this is the critique
01:12:15that men have of their wives and girlfriends.
01:12:17She's so irrational.
01:12:18We are irrational.
01:12:20I think this is one of the big tricks
01:12:21that men play on themselves
01:12:22is they pretend that the women in their lives
01:12:24and they project all of the irrationality onto them.
01:12:26How irrational is it
01:12:26to try to get more and more and more money
01:12:28and more and more status past a certain point?
01:12:30That is hyper irrational.
01:12:31Like to what end are you--
01:12:32- You have proved to yourself
01:12:33that the thing that you are attaining
01:12:35is not the thing that makes you happy
01:12:37and yet you're still trying to attain more of it.
01:12:38- Deeply irrational.
01:12:39- Well done, dude, yeah, super, super fucking clever.
01:12:42- So those pieces, feminine, irrational,
01:12:47singing, dancing, flowing, enjoying one's body, right?
01:12:52I think even from what I hear
01:12:55and have experienced with myself,
01:12:56part of what men get out of their sexual relationships
01:12:59is many times they're able to be with someone
01:13:01that is more capable of pleasure than they are.
01:13:03And they're able to vicariously participate in the pleasure
01:13:07and they're making it happen.
01:13:08And that's good enough for them.
01:13:09Now, they're not experiencing it at the same full body level
01:13:13that their partner is perhaps capable,
01:13:15but they're close to it.
01:13:16- Well, think about that.
01:13:17If you wanna really fucking point the finger at guys,
01:13:20how many guys during sex treat sex as another business
01:13:25that they need to successfully exit?
01:13:27Well, if I can go through this particular sequence of steps
01:13:30and in the past, I've managed to build an exit
01:13:33as similar business in this particular way.
01:13:37So I've got a blueprint and I got it,
01:13:38you know, I got a few tricks up my sleeve
01:13:41that I can deploy in this way.
01:13:42It's like, oh, not only did you turn your video game Hades 2
01:13:46into a business that you had to optimize,
01:13:49but you turned this thing,
01:13:51which is supposed to be like loving presence,
01:13:54into a business that you're supposed to build an exit.
01:13:58- And what I've seen in myself
01:14:00that I believe could be a pattern, at least with some men,
01:14:02is the part of what drove early Charisma on Command
01:14:08and early Charlie was deep people pleasing
01:14:11that was particularly directed at women.
01:14:14Like I was okay if some of the guys didn't like me,
01:14:16but I desperately, desperately wanted women to like me
01:14:18and was willing to shape my habits, my exercise routine,
01:14:22everything to like bring in
01:14:24as much female attention as I could.
01:14:26And I know that experience in sex of like trying
01:14:30to make it good for the other person at a high level,
01:14:34which I didn't realize.
01:14:36You do that for long enough, you just wanna get out of there.
01:14:39I'm tired of just trying to make this other person happy
01:14:42and it can create, you don't realize it,
01:14:43or I didn't realize it, shadow frustrations,
01:14:46shadow resentments, shadow things,
01:14:47because you don't know, and I've heard you talk about this,
01:14:50you're so obsessed with meaning
01:14:52that you don't know how to access pleasure.
01:14:54- Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
01:14:55Yeah, that's, I mean, the Frankel's inverse law,
01:14:59I think is so fucking prevalent, dude.
01:15:01That's another one that's robust.
01:15:02It's a little bit harder for people to grasp
01:15:04and took a real long time for me to look at.
01:15:06But yeah, if pleasure doesn't come easily to you,
01:15:10you say that pleasure is basically for suckers
01:15:12and you focus on meaning.
01:15:13It's like, I will grind set my way through life
01:15:17because the slow accumulation of progress
01:15:22towards something which is supposed to be a well-meaning goal
01:15:26is kind of more reliable, actually, I think, to a lot of men.
01:15:34It's like, it's more objective.
01:15:37It's like, ha, I see where I was on graph yesterday
01:15:41versus today. - It's masculine.
01:15:42It's forward projected.
01:15:43The outcome is the meaning in many ways.
01:15:46I'm fighting for the freedom of my country.
01:15:48It's this, I know what I'm doing.
01:15:50I'm gonna break it into smaller steps.
01:15:51We're gonna have these little battles on the way.
01:15:53This is persistent and clean,
01:15:55and I'm directed at that thing.
01:15:57- Limited chaos, limited uncertainty.
01:15:58- Pleasure is right now.
01:15:59It's right now.
01:16:00Right now, it could be left.
01:16:01Right now, it could be right.
01:16:03I'm gonna follow this flow,
01:16:04and it doesn't provide any long-term guarantees,
01:16:07context, or anything.
01:16:08It's gone the next moment.
01:16:10And so it's this obsession with the masculine thread,
01:16:13I think, in many ways, of future orientation
01:16:16and driving in towards something
01:16:17rather than can I just be present and understand
01:16:20that I can't control it.
01:16:21It's gonna leave, and that's okay.
01:16:23- Two examples from my life of your Hades II thing.
01:16:26George Mack's 30th birthday in Miami last year,
01:16:29we were playing foot tennis over a net,
01:16:34and we were playing this game,
01:16:37and I realized that it was competitive
01:16:40but not very beautiful.
01:16:41And I said, "Okay, well, why don't we change it to be,
01:16:44"even though we're on opposite sides of the net,
01:16:48"we'll be part of a team,
01:16:49"and the goal is to have the fanciest tricks."
01:16:51Two of the guys are ex-champion freestyle footballers,
01:16:55but neither of them were using their skills.
01:16:57Both of them were trying to win the game.
01:16:59I'm like, "I don't want to see who can do this.
01:17:02"I want to hand the ball off to the guy
01:17:04"that can do three-round-the-worlds in a row
01:17:06"and watch him do something and go, 'Fucking sick, dude,'
01:17:09"and then watch him pass it across the net."
01:17:11So he did that, and as soon as I said it,
01:17:14one of the guys was like, "Yeah, yeah, yeah,"
01:17:16and then we can count how many we do,
01:17:17and that can be, I'm like, "No!"
01:17:19They're not even doing the thing again.
01:17:21They're reverse engineering it.
01:17:22And the second time, it seems to happen around nets, I suppose,
01:17:26the second time I was playing pickleball,
01:17:28a co-ed game with this girl who was 21,
01:17:32and Austin, Texas, me and her versus another guy and girl,
01:17:37and it's one-one on games going into best of the final game,
01:17:42and we're like, we've done the little thing
01:17:44where you tap paddles over the top of the net,
01:17:46and we turn around, and we're walking back to the baseline,
01:17:48and I'm like, "Okay, so we need to remember
01:17:49"that when he comes up to the net,
01:17:50"he's really bad in his backhand,
01:17:51"so we can force that in,
01:17:52"but we need to play into the kitchen.
01:17:53"The dinks need to be a little bit wider,
01:17:54"and we've got to do this."
01:17:56Like, look, I'm loving yourselves,
01:17:57but we can go with being a little bit deeper in this.
01:17:59She turns to me, and she goes,
01:18:01"Yeah, let's not forget to have fun."
01:18:04I was like, "Yeah, yeah, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
01:18:08"Very good."
01:18:09And that moment of, I can just enjoy
01:18:14what's happening right now.
01:18:15Sure, there are times, if you're a neurosurgeon,
01:18:20probably the in-moment enjoyment of what you're doing,
01:18:23that's not the time for it.
01:18:24But, and this is where I think the definition of success
01:18:29that I mentioned earlier on is a really important piece.
01:18:34You can go through life trying to optimize
01:18:38for maximum outcomes, like maximum objective success.
01:18:42Like, other people can see it, I can touch it, feel it,
01:18:45put it in a photo album or a bank account
01:18:47or a follower number or whatever online.
01:18:49But you will peer over the present moment's shoulder a lot.
01:18:54Looking for what's coming next.
01:18:56The hyper-vigilance will cause you to never really
01:18:58have your mind rest where your feet are.
01:19:00I'm seeing this with my live shows.
01:19:02I'm on tour at the moment, playing Regent Theatre
01:19:04this Saturday in LA.
01:19:06And I can go out on stage and do my show
01:19:10like as close to perfect as I can get and never be there.
01:19:16I'm not there, I'm not at the show.
01:19:20And in some ways, maybe that's part of a flow state.
01:19:23But I think even within like the flow stateness,
01:19:26like when you lose yourself in it, you're not fully like,
01:19:31this rules, like this fucking rules.
01:19:35So you have to, I've found for me,
01:19:37there are moments where in the set I can pause and be like,
01:19:41for just like two seconds, I'm like, fuck, I'm there.
01:19:45And when I look back, this is how I kind of know
01:19:48that it's working at least a little bit.
01:19:49This is super white belt, like fresh clay shit.
01:19:52But that's what I remember.
01:19:55I don't remember delivering the lines.
01:19:57I don't necessarily even remember the laughs or,
01:19:59I remember incidents where they break the pattern.
01:20:02So the sound went out in New York and I was working
01:20:04with just the stage wedges pointing at me,
01:20:07bouncing them off the back wall to 1500 people
01:20:10while they tried to fix the sound.
01:20:11So I had to like freestyle some bullshit on stage.
01:20:14And I remember that and that was cool.
01:20:16But the only other bits that I remember are where I've gone
01:20:19like and seen inside of my own mind and gone,
01:20:24here I am, I'm walking back to the baseline
01:20:26and we're about to have fun.
01:20:27We're playing foot tennis
01:20:29and we're going to try and make it beautiful.
01:20:31And I get the sense, this is where the success thing comes in
01:20:34that I don't know if this is true.
01:20:37Maybe it gets you from a hundred percent of performance
01:20:40to 150 or 101, or maybe it gets you to 95 or even 90.
01:20:46But regardless of that plane of success outcome based stuff,
01:20:51it's like how much more presence and how much more joy
01:20:56and awareness have you got of what's going on?
01:21:00And ultimately, why are you doing these things?
01:21:02Presumably you're trying to achieve success
01:21:04to create some sort of an emotional state
01:21:06that is sufficiently enjoyable for it to be worthwhile.
01:21:10Or else why would you be doing it?
01:21:12Like even if you ask the why question enough times,
01:21:15it ends up being like, because it feels good.
01:21:16It's like, why do you need money to get the house,
01:21:18to get the car, to get the girl,
01:21:19to get the, because it makes me feel nice and enough?
01:21:23And you're like, well, what if you could access
01:21:24that more directly by just going,
01:21:27fuck, I'm here.
01:21:31Yeah, I'm here, I'm fucking here.
01:21:34Like, holy shit, we're alive.
01:21:37- Yeah.
01:21:38- That fucking rules, like, you know what I mean?
01:21:41- That's it, that's it, yeah.
01:21:43- How, I'm so curious, you've asked me,
01:21:47without trying to say it for this conversation,
01:21:51like, where are you in your,
01:21:53using maybe some of the models that we've talked about,
01:21:55like, where does success honestly lie for you these days?
01:22:00- Yeah, it depends how juvenile I'm being
01:22:03and how brave I feel.
01:22:05- Yeah.
01:22:06- So for me, a lot of it is around courage.
01:22:08It's the courage to step into listening to that intuition,
01:22:11those fleeting thoughts and those whispers
01:22:13in the back of my mind.
01:22:14It's the courage to let go of patterns
01:22:19that I know have given me things
01:22:21that I desperately wanted in the past.
01:22:23Validation from people, recognition, a sense of mastery,
01:22:27admiration from people I admired, respect.
01:22:31- No, it's crazy, sorry to interrupt.
01:22:34- No.
01:22:36- The feminine thread is so important here
01:22:37because it's the feminine thread
01:22:39that is capable of receiving.
01:22:41So there's, part of the reason
01:22:43that we keep pursuing validation and money
01:22:44is 'cause we haven't been able to receive
01:22:46what has already been heaped upon us
01:22:48because we haven't well-developed that ability to just go,
01:22:51and yeah, without forcing it on you, man,
01:22:54I mean, I come in here.
01:22:55Dude, you called me, I'll just,
01:23:02you called me four years ago, five years ago?
01:23:05I had three million, you had less than a million subs?
01:23:09- Oh, it's like less than 100,000, yeah.
01:23:10- Yeah, and you were way too confident for your size
01:23:14and like really precarious and friendly.
01:23:17You're like, let's get on the phone, we did it.
01:23:18- Assumed a bunch of familiarity with you
01:23:20that like finessed you into being my friend.
01:23:21- And you were, I think you probably had your computer
01:23:24on a bureau?
01:23:25- Yeah, yeah.
01:23:26- Just like, my God, like,
01:23:30you've made, you've manifested.
01:23:34- But if this isn't arriving, dude, what is?
01:23:37- And it's strange because the line between high standards
01:23:41and satisfaction or enoughness is delicate
01:23:45because you go, I want to further refine my art.
01:23:48I want to become better at the things that I do.
01:23:49I want to continue seeing creativity
01:23:51and finding opportunities and ways to progress
01:23:54and deliver things that are cool and different,
01:23:56like filming in a fucking garage in the middle of LA
01:23:58for no reason other than it's pretty.
01:24:00- That's the feminine thread.
01:24:02And so you do have it,
01:24:04'cause you actually can't get this far without some of it.
01:24:06And I've been all or nothing people.
01:24:08I mean, like all of these people have this intuitive hits.
01:24:11You can't get very far without it.
01:24:13But your guys' attention to detail, the unnecessary nature.
01:24:18- Completely unnecessary.
01:24:19- That is, why do we need a big rock, honey?
01:24:22I don't want to, that's a lot of money.
01:24:23It's like, that is to see beauty in the unnecessary
01:24:28and to be energized to participate in, create,
01:24:32cultivate that sort of beauty
01:24:34that maybe no one else recognizes.
01:24:36That's like for you.
01:24:38That's a beautiful intuition to lean into in your business.
01:24:41And I think it has, it has paid you dividends,
01:24:45but not in the immediate sense that a lot of ROI options
01:24:49that you might've chosen.
01:24:50- Well, I mean, we just put out this, the first tour diary,
01:24:53which was tracking the trip to New York and then Toronto
01:24:57and then back home over that.
01:24:59Honestly, I think it might be one of the most beautiful things
01:25:02we've ever put out.
01:25:03It was so fucking cool.
01:25:04And I watch it back and it's just this gorgeously shot,
01:25:07very slow pacing on the edit.
01:25:11The cuts take fucking ages.
01:25:13There's payoffs that don't occur until like the end of this
01:25:16over hour long vlog.
01:25:19There's entire scenes that are just left untouched
01:25:21like seven and a half minutes.
01:25:23And I'm like, this is so fucking cool.
01:25:27I'm so proud of it in ways that I'm not
01:25:29of the best performing TikTok that we've got.
01:25:32So, okay, you asked about what the current stage
01:25:36of evolution is that I'm at.
01:25:38And I mentioned that on the days where I feel the bravest,
01:25:43on the days where I feel the most in tune,
01:25:45on the days where I've picked my phone up the latest
01:25:48and gone for a walk and done my meditation
01:25:50and done my breath work and stuff,
01:25:51not from a place of I need to over optimize,
01:25:53but from a place of this makes me feel good.
01:25:55And I just like doing it.
01:25:56Like that's my preferable morning.
01:26:01I would say I kind of took the emotion red pill
01:26:06probably about a year, just under a year and a half ago,
01:26:11like summer of last year and getting ill
01:26:15and like eating shit with that was probably partly needed.
01:26:19Maybe this is my like-
01:26:23- No, no, that's very common.
01:26:26It has to break, it has to stop working.
01:26:28It was a market correction on a stock
01:26:33that had had a fucking serious bull run.
01:26:36You know, I moved to America nearly four years ago now.
01:26:41And the channel was at like 200,000 subs
01:26:44and we're gonna hit 4 million this month.
01:26:47There was me, Dean and a Mormon
01:26:50in a Facebook Messenger group chat
01:26:52that was like the whole team.
01:26:53And you've walked in and you can't even remember the names
01:26:55of everyone that's here today.
01:26:58Not that any of those things are like markers of validation
01:27:01or like even efficiency, but what they do show
01:27:05is that growth has happened
01:27:06in like a relatively short space of time.
01:27:08And the slowing down of momentum,
01:27:13like the curtailing of that inertia,
01:27:19like that forward momentum thing stops you
01:27:22from hiding a lot of patterns and whispers
01:27:27and fleeting thoughts in bravado.
01:27:30And this is how the rock star that just continues
01:27:34to release fucking slammer after slammer after slammer,
01:27:36the album after the album, after the tour after,
01:27:39and they end up developing all of these patterns
01:27:42that they've never had to reflect on
01:27:44because the world is just,
01:27:46the volume of success from the world is so great
01:27:50that the fleeting thoughts and the whispers
01:27:51in the back of their mind just can't compete at all.
01:27:55And yeah, it takes you getting to the stage
01:27:57where the world turns up the volume of that,
01:28:00of the repercussions and the consequences.
01:28:02So that was a big part of it.
01:28:03And then I kind of made this,
01:28:05I think if people went back and looked at the podcast
01:28:09at the back end of last year,
01:28:10I said something to the effect of like,
01:28:11I'm really interested in emotions.
01:28:13I'm really interested in trying to be
01:28:15less emotionally decapitated,
01:28:17like feel things below the neck.
01:28:19Okay, well, I'm gonna work on that.
01:28:20I'm gonna ask a bunch of questions.
01:28:22I would go as far as to say that your,
01:28:25I would say that that video,
01:28:28the first video that you did,
01:28:29Theo Von Schon Strickland was probably 20% of,
01:28:34to maybe a little bit more, maybe even a third of like,
01:28:41oh, there's some there there.
01:28:43Like I see something in what Charlie has uncovered
01:28:48in the way that he's speaking about this,
01:28:52in the patterns that he has sort of unearthed.
01:28:54Oh, that's like a, that is nourishing to me
01:29:00in a way that reading "Atomic Habits"
01:29:04for the first time was nourishing to me.
01:29:06Or listening to Peterson's "Hey, Tell the Truth"
01:29:07was nourishing to me and stand up straight
01:29:09with your shoulders back and clean your room.
01:29:11And like, okay, so that was moving from like results
01:29:13to action, and then this is moving from action to emotions.
01:29:15I'm like, okay, there's another level to this.
01:29:19And the fact that it was at the time where you go,
01:29:23things are going pretty well, but like, huh,
01:29:25there is something here that is not whole.
01:29:28I have learned unteachable lesson number fucking 54.
01:29:31And then this year has been me trying
01:29:38to increase the bravery to step into that stuff.
01:29:41It is a challenge when you have planted a flag in the ground
01:29:49and I love this analogy of planting a flag,
01:29:51especially if you've got expectations from people around you
01:29:54'cause you say, this is me and this is what I stand for
01:29:57and this is who I am.
01:29:58Especially if you've got a public platform,
01:30:01because what you thought was a flag you'd planted
01:30:03in the ground on a piece of territory
01:30:05is a tether that you're attached to.
01:30:07It's a stake that you've driven in and you're like,
01:30:10oh, this wasn't a flagpole.
01:30:11This is something with a fucking leash attached to it.
01:30:14And I'm on the end of the leash
01:30:15and I can't really run away that much without upending it all.
01:30:18And people going, well, who the fuck is this guy?
01:30:20You said this thing previously
01:30:22and now you don't believe in it.
01:30:23Like spending the first three years of this podcast
01:30:28doing life hacks, optimizer episodes
01:30:32about the best note-taking like space repetition,
01:30:34Ebbinghaus forgetting curve flashcards there.
01:30:36I'm like- - Five steps
01:30:37to talk to a girl, yeah, yeah.
01:30:39- It's the same fucking arc.
01:30:41And then this sense of, well, people came for that.
01:30:45And then also the potential of the thing
01:30:50that I previously thought was the solution I've realized
01:30:53is maybe the problem.
01:30:55And you go, well, I'm gonna have to like undo
01:30:59not only my own thinking,
01:31:00but I'm gonna have to publicly state.
01:31:02I thought that if I was able to remember everything
01:31:06I learned that that would be the answer.
01:31:08I've managed to do pretty much that.
01:31:12It's not the answer, fuck.
01:31:14That's well seen in yourself, really well seen.
01:31:18- So yeah, now at this stage where it's quite precipicey
01:31:24for me, doing the retreat with Joe was
01:31:28challenging in a way that I've not been challenged
01:31:35and beautiful in a way that I've never really seen before.
01:31:39So that was like a sober, but psychedelic dose.
01:31:43- Yeah, that's another thing I hadn't listed,
01:31:44which is these with the right person,
01:31:46those sorts of weekend or week long retreat things,
01:31:50very powerful for this kind of stuff.
01:31:52- So that kind of, that was the equivalent.
01:31:54They say that like whatever meditation
01:31:56or the level zero consciousness altering stuff,
01:32:01taking psychedelics, heavy dose of psychedelics
01:32:05is basically taking the stair lift
01:32:09to the top of the mountain briefly.
01:32:10And then you come back down and you're like,
01:32:12okay, I kind of got an idea about
01:32:13where it is that I'm going.
01:32:14That was a way of seeing that soberly, I think.
01:32:18There were a few experiences there,
01:32:19which I, again, hadn't taken anything.
01:32:23Like I have no explanation for what the fuck happened.
01:32:27Like I literally have no explanation for what, for what.
01:32:30- In the Theo Vaughn video,
01:32:32one of the things that I hadn't realized when I did that,
01:32:35that I reflect on now is that,
01:32:37you know what made Sean cry in that Theo Vaughn video?
01:32:40For those of you who haven't watched
01:32:41Theo Vaughn is interviewing Sean Strickland
01:32:43and Sean breaks down in tears talking about his abuse
01:32:45and Theo beautifully is just with him
01:32:49in a big, strong UFC guy.
01:32:51Do you remember the sentence that he said before?
01:32:53- It's okay, buddy.
01:32:55We don't need to talk.
01:32:56- Sorry, sorry, Sean's.
01:32:58What made Sean cry?
01:32:59- Oh, no.
01:33:01- Okay.
01:33:02He says, I stopped believing in God.
01:33:04That's the wound.
01:33:08Like he was talking about the abuse that had happened to him
01:33:11and hiding under his dad's bed.
01:33:12And yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:33:13And he goes, stop believing in God.
01:33:15That's it, man.
01:33:19Like that's, yes, the abuse is horrible
01:33:22and terrible and is enough.
01:33:23But the wound wound is there.
01:33:27And it's there for everybody.
01:33:32And I just, to get my atheist bonafide is in,
01:33:36I have the chapters of a book that I was gonna release
01:33:39before Christopher Hitchens released "God is Not Great"
01:33:41that was my atheist book.
01:33:42Like I was gonna go in line with Chris and Sam
01:33:45and deeply admiring and Alex too.
01:33:47Like love what Alex is up to.
01:33:48And yeah, man, ripped.
01:33:52I didn't want my skull ripped off either.
01:33:53I wasn't hoping that that would happen with me, but it did.
01:33:58And yeah, you have those mountaintop experiences.
01:34:03They're beautiful.
01:34:05And then the question is that it will take me still years.
01:34:09I'm sure, like, how do I live like this?
01:34:11Like how do I function and live with this integrated
01:34:16into how I treat people and how I treat myself
01:34:19and how I conduct my business?
01:34:21- The first time that we left the farm that we were on.
01:34:25So we'd been there for seven days,
01:34:28pretty much 12 hours a day of unrelenting,
01:34:31very deep emotional work with this one group of people,
01:34:3411 other people plus four facilitators.
01:34:37The first day that we left, we were advised go and do,
01:34:42the actual first day we left, we went to the beach.
01:34:44We went to the beach and I cried at the sun,
01:34:48cried at the moon, cried at a dog
01:34:50and then nearly cried at a seagull.
01:34:52- It's a super moon tonight.
01:34:53It's gonna be rad.
01:34:54- There was something happening yet last night.
01:34:56It was super big last night.
01:34:57- Yeah, tonight's the full moon.
01:34:58- Okay, fucking, we'll be ready.
01:35:00- We'll be ready.
01:35:01(laughing)
01:35:03But sorry to interrupt.
01:35:05The separation from the stars and the moon
01:35:08is a profound nationwide, mostly citywide travesty.
01:35:13Like the inability to locate yourself
01:35:16in something that eternal, which isn't eternal,
01:35:20but it's like that durable.
01:35:21Oh my God.
01:35:22- Yep. - Yeah.
01:35:23- Yeah, I was watching, that's actually another,
01:35:25look at me just my, this is my crying diary.
01:35:27The blood red super moon that happened in 2021 or 2022,
01:35:34I remember where I was, I was in the Airbnb
01:35:35that I lived in for three months
01:35:36when I first moved to America
01:35:38and I was watching Peaky Blinders on my own.
01:35:40So I could not be more engaged
01:35:42in this historic period drama thing.
01:35:44And someone texted me and was like, have you seen the moon?
01:35:47And I go outside onto the balcony
01:35:49of this Airbnb that I'm staying in.
01:35:50And I look up and it's this huge bright pink moon.
01:35:54And just immediately I'm like, floods,
01:35:56like floods of, like sobbing floods of tears.
01:35:59Like what the fuck, this is a while ago now.
01:36:01So I don't think I've necessarily had the language.
01:36:04What is going on?
01:36:05Like, why is this happening?
01:36:06Like shame around, like,
01:36:08why am I crying at the fucking moon?
01:36:09Like, am I broken?
01:36:10Is there something up with me?
01:36:12Is this weird?
01:36:13Am I feeble?
01:36:14Is this like weak?
01:36:15What is this?
01:36:16Like, I don't, I'm glad that there's nobody here to see it.
01:36:19And then when we finished the retreat, cried at everything.
01:36:24And then the next day, one of the pieces of advice
01:36:29was you should go and get some body work done.
01:36:31Like it might be nice.
01:36:32Like some gentle body work would be like a good way
01:36:33to kind of reintegrate.
01:36:35I mean, one of the guys that was there were like, right, okay.
01:36:37Nobody wanted to drive.
01:36:38Nobody wanted to get into their car.
01:36:40So they're like, I don't feel,
01:36:42I don't feel particularly human.
01:36:44What did they, what did they call it?
01:36:46Uh, uh, not karma sick.
01:36:50Uh, uh, fuck.
01:36:52Not dope sick.
01:36:54There was some, it was something, something sick
01:36:56for how, like emotion sick or something,
01:37:01which was basically like an emotional hangover
01:37:04that you'd had from that week where everything
01:37:07was a little spacey.
01:37:09It felt very psychedelic.
01:37:10No one wanted to drive.
01:37:12One of the people did and drove us into the local town.
01:37:14We went into this Thai massage parlor place
01:37:19and the front desk was the classic little running waterfall
01:37:25and like very gently playing music.
01:37:26And one woman behind the counter,
01:37:29we had to fill this form in and me and the guy
01:37:30that were there, we were like, we need,
01:37:33we're going to wait outside.
01:37:35Is that okay?
01:37:35Being inside of this very calm, very normal,
01:37:38one other person reception area to a massage place
01:37:42that we were going to go in and enjoy was like too much.
01:37:45It was too much stimulus.
01:37:47People didn't want to drive.
01:37:48People, we didn't want to talk to people.
01:37:49Someone went into Whole Foods and left
01:37:51without having bought anything.
01:37:52They were like, I don't, I can't,
01:37:55I don't know what to buy.
01:37:56I don't know where to go.
01:37:57Like there's people in there.
01:37:58It was just too stimulating and overwhelming.
01:38:00And the main thing that I realized coming out of that
01:38:03was how many of the patterns I have in life
01:38:05that are compensatory mechanisms for a world
01:38:07that is not very gentle with somebody
01:38:10that is an open vessel.
01:38:12- Open vessel, yeah.
01:38:12I think this is, this is, this is okay.
01:38:14So now we can get into the final,
01:38:16my intuitive crackpot series, okay?
01:38:19- Here we go.
01:38:21- I think that as I watched "Love on the Spectrum"
01:38:25and I've been going through this stuff myself
01:38:26and I see the stimming that these autistic people are doing
01:38:30as they're dating and they're rocking
01:38:31and they have, the noises are too loud.
01:38:33I'm like, oh, this is someone
01:38:34that doesn't have the coping mechanism
01:38:35to deal with a world where the volume
01:38:37is turned up way too loud.
01:38:39And the gifts that are often connected with autistic people,
01:38:45which is like, that guy can just like play music,
01:38:48like nothing, he's just in it.
01:38:50The way that that person is obsessed with buttons,
01:38:52like they see something that the rest of us don't see.
01:38:55They're, they struggle to fit into a world
01:38:58where it is just not sensitive, right?
01:39:01And so I think what you're experiencing
01:39:03and you'd asked at the beginning
01:39:04in one of the questions that you'd sent to me was sensitivity.
01:39:08I think what happened as you take your armor off,
01:39:11you're like, oh, this is me, I'm sensitive as hell.
01:39:15And in order to function effectively
01:39:17in a world that is too loud, too brushed,
01:39:19bumps into me, all these kinds of things,
01:39:21I've learned effective armoring coping mechanisms
01:39:26to make me function well, but at the cost of the beauty,
01:39:30at cost of some of my deepest gifts.
01:39:33- Can I, I need to interject, sorry.
01:39:35- Yeah, please. - So I don't break
01:39:36the fourth wall around like the way
01:39:37that the business operates basically ever,
01:39:39but I think this is a particularly revealing conversation.
01:39:42It probably makes sense.
01:39:43And it's also related to something that happened today.
01:39:46So as a perfect example of being sensitive, open,
01:39:51and sort of transparent, being a transparent vessel
01:39:54for this sort of stuff is antithetical
01:39:58to operating in the world somehow,
01:40:00or at least it requires a degree of openness
01:40:03that you're not typically rewarded for in the past,
01:40:07which means it's hard to do in the present.
01:40:09So this morning I told you maybe one
01:40:11of the most beautiful things,
01:40:12and I've like got all excited about this,
01:40:13and we've got this edit and like use some
01:40:15of my favorite tracks and we did all of this stuff.
01:40:17And then during the episode that I recorded this morning,
01:40:19there was an error on the upload.
01:40:21And it meant that after 10 minutes of it being up,
01:40:24that got taken down, we had to re-upload it.
01:40:26- And so your notifications and-
01:40:28- Everyone's pinged it.
01:40:29They've tried to watch it.
01:40:30It's taken down.
01:40:30And I'm like, we've flubbed the release
01:40:33for this thing that was really beautiful.
01:40:35And during the break of the episode with Matthew,
01:40:38when I go to the bathroom to have a pee,
01:40:39like the episode go up, and someone's like,
01:40:41that thing happens.
01:40:42And instead of me saying, like what I felt was like,
01:40:46fuck, why did this happen?
01:40:47We need to find a solution.
01:40:48This is the objective metric and they shouldn't anything.
01:40:51What I should have said is like, ow.
01:40:54- Yeah.
01:40:55- Oh fuck.
01:40:56Look, I'm sure nobody meant for this to happen,
01:41:01but like, oh, that hurts.
01:41:03Like I really loved that thing.
01:41:04And I felt so proud of it.
01:41:05And I wanted other people to feel the way that I feel
01:41:08about it and now I'm worried that not as many people
01:41:10are going to see it.
01:41:12I didn't do that.
01:41:12I didn't say that.
01:41:13My initial response was like, what do we need to do?
01:41:16We need to come up with a solution.
01:41:16We've got to have a five step process to get through
01:41:18the thing as opposed to me just sitting people down
01:41:19and going like, ow, that hurt.
01:41:24And fuck, I hope it doesn't happen again.
01:41:30Whatever, like maybe not even that.
01:41:32And that pattern that I realized, like this armoring
01:41:37that you have of yourself, because if you're always
01:41:40this open, like you're getting out a lot.
01:41:43- You're getting ouched a lot.
01:41:44- There are lots of ouches out there.
01:41:45- Yes, yes.
01:41:47- Credit to Joe.
01:41:48A fantastic developmental thing to deepen into this
01:41:52is to say ouch out loud when you are hurt
01:41:55by someone or life.
01:41:55- That's where I took the ouch from.
01:41:57- I was saying ouch the entire ride over based
01:41:59on a phone call that I had this morning.
01:42:01Ouch, ouch.
01:42:02And I got to, it was this, anything.
01:42:03I could have powered through it.
01:42:04I behaved totally, you know, it would have been simple
01:42:07to just, this was not a big deal.
01:42:08- Yeah.
01:42:09- But as I did the ouches, I got to, oh my God,
01:42:11I didn't feel love from this person and that hurts.
01:42:13It just hurts.
01:42:14Like they don't have to give you love.
01:42:15It just, it hurts anyway.
01:42:17And we have a choice.
01:42:19We can feel the pain and not cut off that aspect
01:42:22of ourselves that, and what you described,
01:42:24like the sacrifice and not feeling the pain
01:42:26is that you lose that, oh, I really wanted people
01:42:28to feel the way that I felt about this.
01:42:31And then that has downstream effects of maybe the way
01:42:33that you treat the next blog is more efficient
01:42:35and less beautiful and it's, and you lose the essence
01:42:38of the thing to avoid experiencing pain around its fragility.
01:42:43And that is just, yeah, that's everywhere.
01:42:45- Keep going through your developmental kooky world theory.
01:42:48- My kooky world, where were we with?
01:42:51- You'd said?
01:42:53- Oh, autism.
01:42:54- Yes.
01:42:54- Autism is related to, I really think it's people entering
01:42:58the world with an intense sensitivity.
01:42:59And I think we can look to people,
01:43:02our autists, autists, savants for not how we will become
01:43:07at all, but like for some of the pains of sensitivity
01:43:12and some of the gifts that are associated with sensitivity.
01:43:15And what we can still do is we can still have our armor
01:43:17that we can put on when necessary.
01:43:19We can have our containment for our board meeting
01:43:21and this, that and the other thing.
01:43:22But the ability to just go, oh my God, it's so loud.
01:43:25It is so loud.
01:43:27Even right now, you know, there's planes in this
01:43:29and our attention is able to dial in and tune everything out.
01:43:32But when you tune everything out, you miss the beauty
01:43:34of the flowers and the cars and the cicada
01:43:37that is making noise and how awesome everything is.
01:43:39So that's one piece.
01:43:41This is a hard tangent, but whatever.
01:43:44We've been all over the place today.
01:43:46So we talked about mythology.
01:43:49Mythology is a beautiful connection between emotions
01:43:54and that like God thing.
01:43:57And because mythology often deals with gods,
01:43:59but it deals with this archetypal realm.
01:44:02That is, I find more understandable, approachable.
01:44:06And this is what I said, Carl Jung is like so great
01:44:08because he bridges that emotional level with the divine.
01:44:12And so a beautiful bridge is mythology.
01:44:16And I already hear that some of them,
01:44:17you've talked about Cassandra and that sort of thing.
01:44:20These myths, I mean, I don't know which one is,
01:44:22let me see if there's one
01:44:23that is particularly relevant to you.
01:44:25There's not one that comes to mind immediately,
01:44:28but using chat GBT to just be like,
01:44:31hey, what's the myth of so-and-so if it pops up?
01:44:34Really, really powerful thing that I have experienced.
01:44:36- What do you think about sort of mythology?
01:44:39Is it a, it's not the full dose of religion
01:44:44with some of its sort of stodginess and inaccessibility?
01:44:48- So here's my broad view of religion,
01:44:50spirituality, et cetera.
01:44:51There are these mystics all around the world.
01:44:54Jesus, Muhammad, Rumi, you know.
01:44:56They get it at various levels.
01:45:00It's tough to translate.
01:45:02It's like, how do you say it?
01:45:04First off, how does it come out of your mouth
01:45:06in a way that is honest to your experience?
01:45:08Extremely challenging.
01:45:09And then for somebody who hasn't had that experience,
01:45:11they're gonna write it down now in a book
01:45:13and codify how everyone else needs to be.
01:45:15So I think that's what's going on
01:45:16with a lot of the big books is that
01:45:18there is a mystical insight from somebody who got it
01:45:22at a very, very, very deep level.
01:45:25Difficult for them to speak,
01:45:26difficult for other people to write down 60 years later.
01:45:29And then we're a lot of people
01:45:30that aren't directly connected with that experience,
01:45:33projecting their mother and their father onto the creator
01:45:36of the universe, that he's upset with me
01:45:38and he wants to punish me.
01:45:39And a lot of that made it into the text.
01:45:41So I don't treat the Bible as literally every word is true,
01:45:47but I treat it as a repository that has been mistranslated
01:45:50some of the time of a brilliant mystic,
01:45:53like somebody who got it.
01:45:55And I treat other texts like that,
01:45:57like there's some level of understanding integration
01:46:00that the person who came up with this had.
01:46:02That's why it survived so long.
01:46:04That's why it was so meaningful to people,
01:46:05even if they couldn't describe
01:46:07why it was so meaningful to them.
01:46:09So Greek, Egyptian, these pantheon gods are really useful
01:46:14for relating to you the archetypal,
01:46:18emotional patterns of life.
01:46:21So for instance, the story of Ares, Aphrodite, and Hephaestus.
01:46:26Hephaestus is the craftsman god.
01:46:29He's got a lame leg.
01:46:31He's a craftsman.
01:46:33You might call him a brainiac.
01:46:35He's not a physical powerhouse.
01:46:37He's the only god that is crippled.
01:46:39He is betrothed and wedded to Aphrodite,
01:46:42the goddess of beauty,
01:46:42but she cheats on him all the time
01:46:44with the alpha chad, Ares, right?
01:46:47So they have a bunch of kids,
01:46:48but the story of Hephaestus and Aphrodite and Ares
01:46:50is that Hephaestus learns that he's being cuckolded.
01:46:52He creates a cage above the bed.
01:46:55Ares and Aphrodite go at it.
01:46:57He drops the cage on them and then brings in
01:46:59all the other gods to laugh at them.
01:47:01And it's like an archetypal exploration of the pain
01:47:04of the academically inclined guy
01:47:09who is hurt by the aggressive masculine man,
01:47:14who takes something that he loves
01:47:17and then moves into his zone of power,
01:47:20which is intellectual and shames him.
01:47:23And you see this play out.
01:47:24I've heard Brennan Lee Mulligan,
01:47:26who you might be familiar with,
01:47:27who's a Dungeons and Dragons guy, very smart,
01:47:29tell his very personal story of he was a smart kid.
01:47:32The tough kids pushed him around, made fun of him,
01:47:34but he got really good at insulting them
01:47:36so he could just cut them to the core
01:47:37because he was smart enough to do it.
01:47:39And so there's these patterns
01:47:41that if you look at these archetypes,
01:47:42almost like Rorschach tests,
01:47:44which is, which one is calling to me?
01:47:47I don't know, there's something about,
01:47:48I'm curious about Ares, I'm curious about this.
01:47:50You look up the story, you read it.
01:47:52What do I make of it is a beautiful way
01:47:55to start to recognize some of these archetypal patterns
01:47:59in your life because they have existed
01:48:01for thousands of years before you.
01:48:03And I could go on and on and on
01:48:04about all the different ones that have been valuable to me.
01:48:07- So symbolic, the story is more than just the story.
01:48:12It's less the literal?
01:48:13Is that kind of the, what's the key?
01:48:16- Okay, so the key that Jung, Peterson, et cetera would say
01:48:19is that these are like metaphysically real
01:48:23in a way that is not just metaphorical or symbolic,
01:48:26that there are, how can I describe this?
01:48:29That there are near universal structures in human psychology,
01:48:34for instance, for father and for mother,
01:48:37that we do not come in utterly blank slate.
01:48:40And there are recurring patterns based on,
01:48:42you could call it evolution, or if you're spiritually based,
01:48:44just like this is what it is to be human,
01:48:47that by relating to these archetypes,
01:48:51seeing how they strike us,
01:48:52we can learn the pieces of ourselves that are missing.
01:48:55So maybe we didn't have the world's greatest mother
01:48:58or greatest father,
01:48:59but if we relate to an archetypal story of a good mother
01:49:03or of the wise father or something,
01:49:06we can re-come into contact with the piece of us
01:49:09that we felt should have been there when we were kids,
01:49:12but we couldn't put our finger on, we couldn't describe,
01:49:13and so we can't explain the pain
01:49:15that we're experiencing of the loss.
01:49:17These stories help us reconnect with that
01:49:20in the same way that the hero's journey
01:49:22inspires young men to go out, be heroes,
01:49:24understand that there's a sacrifice and a rocky montage
01:49:26that they have to go through.
01:49:28These stories give you steps and relationship with,
01:49:33oh, that's what was missing,
01:49:36or, oh, that's what's up next for me.
01:49:38I'll give you one small example of this.
01:49:40Joseph Campbell has this hero's journey that he charts out,
01:49:43and it's basically a clock where you start up here,
01:49:46it's three o'clock, you meet the mentor,
01:49:47you descend into the underworld, it's the belly of the beast,
01:49:50it's the Garden of Gethsemane at the bottom.
01:49:51You come back up, you get the divine revelation,
01:49:53you come back to the community.
01:49:56I had been charting where I was,
01:49:57and he's got basically, I think,
01:49:5812 to 17 different stages, and I found myself,
01:50:01I was like, oh, this is belly of the beast.
01:50:03I am lost, utterly lost.
01:50:05And shortly after that, I was like, what's up next?
01:50:08Temptation of the woman.
01:50:09So in the story of the Odyssey, and stop me if I'm--
01:50:12- No, dude, I want more myth.
01:50:14- Okay, more myth.
01:50:16In the story of the Odyssey,
01:50:17Odysseus has gone through everything.
01:50:19He had 600 men, they're all dead.
01:50:22He's washed up on this island.
01:50:24He still hasn't arrived home
01:50:25after near like 13 years after the Trojan War.
01:50:29He still can't get back to Ithaca.
01:50:32And he's defeated, and he lands on this island.
01:50:34Every island he's gotten to has been torturous.
01:50:37And there is a beautiful nymph named Calypso, a goddess,
01:50:41who just wants to marry him, have sex with him,
01:50:43and keep him there.
01:50:43That's it.
01:50:45Just stay.
01:50:46And so he gets to the end of the journey,
01:50:47and he's offered, just stay with me.
01:50:49He's with a goddess.
01:50:51And he stays for a while,
01:50:52but he ultimately makes the decisions like,
01:50:53no, I have to go back.
01:50:55I know it's gonna be hard.
01:50:56I know it's been brutal to get here, but I have to continue.
01:50:59And this is what Campbell calls
01:51:00the temptation of the feminine, temptation of the woman.
01:51:03And I found myself here,
01:51:05went through the bottom of this ark,
01:51:07and a buy offer comes in for Charisma on Command.
01:51:11And it's, dude, you could just ride off in the sunset.
01:51:13You could just put it away.
01:51:15You're frustrated with it.
01:51:16It's not working.
01:51:16Just, you could take the money.
01:51:17I'm dividing it up in my head.
01:51:19How many years?
01:51:19How much of this?
01:51:21And I knew where I was in the journey,
01:51:23and I was able to go, ah, I know this,
01:51:25and this isn't what I want.
01:51:27Even though it's gonna be hard, I want the struggle.
01:51:30There's something, there's a home that is calling me.
01:51:33And so I was able to navigate that
01:51:35with a bit more understanding.
01:51:36And then I knew after that comes Atonement with the Father.
01:51:39And so there's this other stage that I had to go through,
01:51:42and I could go on and on and on.
01:51:44And then I knew after that comes Apotheosis,
01:51:46which is the connection with the divine,
01:51:48and then the ultimate boon.
01:51:49Right now I sit at the return,
01:51:52which is the refusal to return
01:51:53is basically where I'm at right now.
01:51:55So after you get the grail, the lamp, the thing,
01:51:58and you've done all that work,
01:51:59oftentimes the hero's like, well, that was really hard.
01:52:01I don't think I want to go home.
01:52:03I finally made myself comfortable
01:52:04in this other secluded inner world.
01:52:07I don't think I want to bring this back to the community.
01:52:10And sometimes there's a chase.
01:52:11Sometimes someone has to pull them out of it.
01:52:13But I was like, oh,
01:52:14maybe that's what this podcast is for me.
01:52:15This is Chris inviting me back to you.
01:52:19- I have a question.
01:52:20How the fuck do you talk about charisma anymore?
01:52:23- So it was really hard.
01:52:25And I said at the beginning,
01:52:26I'm sorry that this has been so disjointed.
01:52:28One day I'll have this smooth.
01:52:29I had understood charisma to be,
01:52:33what do people like about me?
01:52:34And I still will make videos.
01:52:36Like how do they, what steps do I do?
01:52:38Say, think, et cetera, yada, yada, yada,
01:52:40to get someone to like me.
01:52:41It was all based on if I was behaving
01:52:44in a way that was approved of.
01:52:45That was my understanding of it.
01:52:47But as I get deeper into myth,
01:52:48charisma is a Greek word.
01:52:50The etymology of charisma is from the same word as charity
01:52:53and the charities, which are the goddesses.
01:52:55But charisma is a divinely given gift,
01:52:59often associated with speech,
01:53:02but associated with someone that God moves through.
01:53:06And so you can speak charismatically,
01:53:08but you can dance charismatically.
01:53:09You can paint charismatically.
01:53:11You can like love and hug and you can live charismatically.
01:53:15So as I go, oh wow, I picked the perfect word.
01:53:19I picked the perfect name for this company
01:53:21for me to grow into.
01:53:22I just didn't know it at the time.
01:53:23And so I am learning now how to serve the core audience
01:53:27that wants tips, tricks, all this kind of stuff.
01:53:30But I need to expand it into how does God move through you?
01:53:35And for me, that looks less like here's the phrase,
01:53:39here's the thing to do,
01:53:41but finding the intersection of radiance and authenticity.
01:53:45I think in the past I had been like,
01:53:48look, I want to be authentic,
01:53:49but I'll just give you an example.
01:53:51The first day of the course,
01:53:53Charisma University that we have,
01:53:55I think a lot of the stuff could be used,
01:53:56but is when somebody asks you how you're doing,
01:54:00don't say I'm fine.
01:54:01Don't say busy, don't say good.
01:54:02Be better than that.
01:54:03Be phenomenal, be wonderful, be, you know.
01:54:06And you can treat that at any level of the pyramid.
01:54:08You can go to the results level,
01:54:09which is no matter what I'm feeling,
01:54:11I am going to say I'm phenomenal
01:54:12and I can betray my emotions.
01:54:14I can take actions to start to take steps in my life
01:54:17that I've worked out that day and I've gotten something done.
01:54:19So I'm more likely to actually feel phenomenal
01:54:22when someone asks me.
01:54:23I can treat the underlying emotional level,
01:54:25which is have I been with my shame, my grief, my et cetera?
01:54:28So then no matter what I say, I'm like,
01:54:29dude, it's kind of a rough day.
01:54:31There's still something emanating from me.
01:54:34Or I can do it at the spiritual level,
01:54:35which is like, oh my God, I remember God.
01:54:36I feel fucking incredible.
01:54:38And I can radiate it that way.
01:54:41So for me, it's more about,
01:54:44just like I had to grow out of the shell that I was in,
01:54:46it's yes, the same piece stays,
01:54:48but it's also more than that.
01:54:51And so that's how I have come around to being like,
01:54:55oh, I did want charisma on command.
01:54:57I wanted to grow it into much more than it was
01:55:00and have it mean something significantly more than it did.
01:55:03And there's a challenge of bringing the audience with me
01:55:06and leaving some of them behind.
01:55:07And I'm a weirdo and all that kind of stuff is a stress.
01:55:10- How many subs you got?
01:55:116 million, 7 million?
01:55:12- 6, 6.9 or something?
01:55:14- Right, 7 million subs.
01:55:15- Yeah.
01:55:16- The market for I want to say cool things
01:55:20to get girls to be attracted to me
01:55:21and the market for I want to get in touch with my feminine
01:55:24and be able to dance without shame to music in my bedroom,
01:55:28not quite the same.
01:55:31- Yes, and look at Jordan Peterson.
01:55:33Look, core, core.
01:55:35He is a union psychologist who the first thing, yes,
01:55:39he came on the scene for politics, but it was Genesis.
01:55:42It was all of this unsexy Pinocchio, Genesis, Lion King.
01:55:46I truly believe that the public needs a union,
01:55:51a speaker for Carl Jung to be present.
01:55:53Like we need myths.
01:55:55- Is this a pivot that you would burden,
01:55:58you would potentially carry yourself?
01:56:01- I would deeply be honored,
01:56:02I would just love to pray for that opportunity.
01:56:06And I am trying to learn how to gracefully
01:56:10make that transition.
01:56:12And I have put out videos where I'm more experimental.
01:56:14They don't do as well,
01:56:15but I'm still in the zone of sorting through
01:56:17how to talk about this stuff.
01:56:18And perhaps I should have come in here and just been like,
01:56:20I got my list of myths and I'm going to tell them.
01:56:22- No, no, no, no, no, no.
01:56:23This has been one of the most intimate conversations
01:56:26I think I've ever had on the show.
01:56:30- You've got something, you're there with something
01:56:34and Dr. K is there?
01:56:36- Well, let me ask.
01:56:39I think you're there too.
01:56:42- I'm edging.
01:56:43- You're edging.
01:56:44- I've been edging for a few months now.
01:56:46- So let me ask.
01:56:47If you were able to take that stake out of the ground
01:56:52and didn't have that tether
01:56:53and the cameras could disappear for a moment.
01:56:56And it's okay if the answer is no,
01:56:57'cause I know I didn't for a long time.
01:56:59Do you have any direction of where you would head, walk,
01:57:03do without the expectation?
01:57:05- There's a few.
01:57:11I'm pulled toward fun, at least in part at the moment.
01:57:21And that-
01:57:23- I love that for you, by the way.
01:57:24- Me too.
01:57:25- I love things that integrate ancient past,
01:57:28which for you is being a club promoter.
01:57:30I love things, yeah.
01:57:32- The way that that will come through
01:57:34is multi-guest episodes.
01:57:35So me, George, Mac, Zach, and another person
01:57:39are gonna do a sort of regular, probably monthly,
01:57:41something like that.
01:57:42Hang style episode.
01:57:43Working title is smoke break or office hours or whatever.
01:57:47Drop in or some shit.
01:57:49I like the idea of that because it is part of a releasing
01:57:57of a lot of the control.
01:57:59What is the outcome that we get from this?
01:58:00Well, I'm not too sure.
01:58:02And what is it we're gonna talk about?
01:58:03Well, I'm also not too sure.
01:58:05But it doesn't need to be fucking last 24 hour news slop.
01:58:09Tucker Carlson's in a beef with Nick Fuentes and Ben Shapiro,
01:58:11and we need to, how does this?
01:58:13So that will be a little bit of relinquishing of control.
01:58:15That's part of it.
01:58:16- Cool.
01:58:17- And that gives me an opportunity
01:58:19to put more personality across,
01:58:20as opposed to this thing that I've done for so long,
01:58:22which is be a vessel and a pet.
01:58:27A pedestal for people who have great ideas.
01:58:31People I'm interested in about things I'm interested in.
01:58:33Like, what is it that I can distill from you
01:58:35and then make you look as amazing as possible?
01:58:37And that's been great,
01:58:38but I've subjugated myself a lot throughout that.
01:58:40- I see this, yeah.
01:58:42- And it's like, okay, if not now, then when?
01:58:45Like, and it's the same for the success thing.
01:58:47If not now, when have you arrived?
01:58:49If not after a thousand episodes
01:58:51and a quarter of a million words written in five years
01:58:54on my newsletter,
01:58:55like when do you feel like your ideas
01:58:58have sufficient veracity or legitimacy
01:59:00or authenticity or whatever the fuck to be able to go?
01:59:03I think maybe I can contribute a bit.
01:59:06Maybe I can make it a little bit about me.
01:59:08And I never wanted to make it about me.
01:59:09And part of that was a defensive tactic
01:59:11because I found in my past,
01:59:13especially when I was getting bullied as a kid,
01:59:14that if I made myself small, if I didn't make it about me,
01:59:18if I didn't make myself too loud or too big,
01:59:19that the eye of Sauron sort of didn't get pointed at me.
01:59:22One of the things that I'd learned, I think as a child,
01:59:25was if I'm too smart in class
01:59:28or put my hand up and get the answer right
01:59:29or perform too well in whatever,
01:59:31sometimes the bullies would notice me more.
01:59:34Whereas if I do something like people,
01:59:36people can mistake smallness for a lack of a,
01:59:42people can mistake like humbleness, smallness,
01:59:44self-deprecation for a lack of a threat.
01:59:46And the internet is the same with regards to this.
01:59:51So one thing, more fun, making it a little bit more about me.
01:59:55Here's some ideas that I've got.
01:59:56I'm gonna actually like move toward that.
01:59:58Something Patrick, that David mentioned to me
02:00:00a long time ago, actually.
02:00:02- Is there a core idea in there that is around which you're?
02:00:07- There will be.
02:00:08So this is the next bit, I guess.
02:00:10The problem that I'm having at the moment
02:00:14is I only just arrived at accepting
02:00:16that emotions were an important thing to work on.
02:00:18And now I've got this like,
02:00:20it feels like I took psychedelics and saw something
02:00:22I wasn't supposed to see.
02:00:23I'm like, I was like ready to map this next bit
02:00:28of the journey or a better example.
02:00:31I love this.
02:00:32I've been thinking about this a lot.
02:00:33Maybe it's 'cause like Elon's kind of crushing it
02:00:35with space exploration.
02:00:36It's an old style of rocket, right?
02:00:38Remember the old school, like Apollo rocket?
02:00:41- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
02:00:42- So when you're on the launch pad,
02:00:43there's a particular fuel source
02:00:44and a particular engine that gets used.
02:00:45And then after that.
02:00:47- I have to try this.
02:00:47- Goes in and get it.
02:00:48And then after that it's booster rockets
02:00:50and they like kick in.
02:00:52So at a particular altitude,
02:00:54there is a particular fuel source
02:00:55and type of propulsion that's used.
02:00:57And then you get to another one and another one kicks in
02:00:59and then you get to another one and those fall away.
02:01:02And then another one happens.
02:01:03And I'm like, I was just about accepting
02:01:07that the booster rockets had come on online.
02:01:09And now there's this, I'm like, where am I?
02:01:12So that's thrown a little bit of a spanner into the works
02:01:15for me like trying to map stuff,
02:01:16which is why it's really useful to have this conversation.
02:01:19But the thing that I'm kind of prepared to at the moment,
02:01:23like really, really lean into is the pride of sensitivity.
02:01:28Like trying to find strength in sensitivity
02:01:32and in emotionality and really asking questions around,
02:01:37how do you navigate the things that you feel
02:01:45and still get the outcomes that you want?
02:01:46Like balancing real world results
02:01:48with an inner sense of enoughness.
02:01:50Okay, what's that?
02:01:51How does that piece together?
02:01:52I think that probably for the next 12 months
02:01:55is gonna be a real core theme for me.
02:01:58Funny story on that.
02:01:59You know Myron Gaines from "Fresh and Fit"?
02:02:02- I don't know him, but I love him.
02:02:03- We went for like shawarma
02:02:05or like some Middle Eastern-y food thing in Miami,
02:02:10maybe two years ago, something like that, or 18 months ago.
02:02:12Just before I'd started thinking about this,
02:02:14but I was like tapped in a tiny, teeny tiny,
02:02:16weenie a little bit.
02:02:17And we sat down and he's like kind of gregarious guy,
02:02:20da, da, da, da, da, da,
02:02:21like sort of talking about all this stuff.
02:02:22And I was just interested to find out about him
02:02:25and like, you know, where does this like particular firework
02:02:30like spiral around to?
02:02:32It's like ideas and stuff and a past and a future
02:02:35and all this, and he was talking about this stuff.
02:02:38And then he said, he was telling me about this experience
02:02:42that he'd gone through and like,
02:02:43this thing happened and this thing happened
02:02:44and this thing happened.
02:02:45I just went, "Oh, how did that make you feel?"
02:02:49And it stopped the conversation,
02:02:51totally stopped the conversation.
02:02:52And he like must've paused for maybe five seconds.
02:02:57Look, and he went, "I've never really thought about that."
02:03:01- Wow.
02:03:02- Like no one's ever, I've never really thought about it
02:03:04and no one's ever really asked me or something like that.
02:03:07I was like, "Oh, that's cool."
02:03:09- That's really cool.
02:03:10- That's cool.
02:03:10- Also credit to him.
02:03:11- Yeah, for seeing it.
02:03:12- Really, and I was like, "Huh."
02:03:15And there was a bit as well, like when everyone like that
02:03:18sort of like super forward leaning dopamine energy thing,
02:03:23there is a little bit of like, how do I get through this?
02:03:26Like gotta be a bit more person in there.
02:03:28Like I wanna excavate it and like that,
02:03:30I'm interested in that.
02:03:31For the first five years of the show, I wasn't.
02:03:35I was interested in like the shell.
02:03:38I was interested in the outside,
02:03:39like the action and the results.
02:03:41I'm like, "Okay, like how do I like poke in?"
02:03:45Not because I wanna see you cry,
02:03:46not because I want like some like overly unnecessary.
02:03:50- I'm not Steven Bartlett.
02:03:52- Steven's got a skillset.
02:03:54- Steven's amazing, I love Steven.
02:03:56- I'm not sure.
02:03:57I think for him, what he's wanting is like the expression
02:03:59of how that made somebody feel.
02:04:01Whereas what I'm interested in is like,
02:04:03what is the marriage between the outcome that happens
02:04:06and that feeling and how is that?
02:04:09I'm like fascinated by tension.
02:04:10So I'm like, "Okay, how does the tension
02:04:12"between these two things happen?"
02:04:13Also sitting with somebody crying,
02:04:15and this is a failing of mine and a strength of Steven's is,
02:04:19and I learned this during Groundbreakers with Joe.
02:04:22If somebody else cries, I cry a lot.
02:04:24Like if I see someone in pain or discomfort
02:04:28or I ask somebody a question
02:04:29and it's either the sadness or happiness
02:04:33and like they go, I go.
02:04:34- Me too.
02:04:35- And I have shame around like that.
02:04:37So I'm like, okay, in order for me,
02:04:39the number of times that somebody's cried on Steven's show,
02:04:42and like, I'm not sure how many times I've seen him cry.
02:04:47Certainly in response to somebody else,
02:04:48he seems to be able to hold space.
02:04:50Now, I don't know whether, I'd love to,
02:04:53we were talking this weekend, I should have.
02:04:55- What's going on inside?
02:04:56Yeah, he's so curious.
02:04:57- Are you numbed to it?
02:04:59Are you insulated from this?
02:05:01Or are you so dropped in that you've like alchemized it
02:05:05and you're like, I'm able to like fold Joe Hudson
02:05:07view framework, like.
02:05:09- Either, my experience of it, I cried,
02:05:14was I felt his presence, yeah.
02:05:18- That's a fucking, I mean, that's like,
02:05:20to be able to do it, to sit with somebody in that
02:05:22and to hold space in that and to not.
02:05:24I mean, some people, I guess, are just like less emotional
02:05:27in that way, like their emotional trigger,
02:05:29or they don't present it in the same sort of a way.
02:05:32But if you're able to hold the space
02:05:36and not have like, this is the impartiality
02:05:40and the empathy thing, right?
02:05:41Like, I'm not going to try and change you
02:05:44and I'm with you without being in your emotions.
02:05:47That's like black belt shit.
02:05:51That's like very, very, very impressive.
02:05:52I don't have that, whether it's a skill
02:05:54or whatever you want to call it, I don't have that trait.
02:05:57So for me.
02:05:58- Dude, there's like a super team that we can make, I think.
02:06:02- This is what, I was about to say this,
02:06:04you, Dr. K, Joe Hudson.
02:06:06- Dr. K called me a year ago, credit to him.
02:06:08He's like, something's happening.
02:06:09(laughing)
02:06:10He's like, something is happening around masculinity
02:06:13and it's not time yet, but it's going to be time soon.
02:06:15And I just, and I think he said your name and he was like.
02:06:19- He spoke to me about this.
02:06:20- Yeah, he's like, and he's just like,
02:06:21I don't have any takeaway, but keep your phone on.
02:06:26- He said something similar.
02:06:27He's like, look up for the fucking bat six, dude.
02:06:30Look, there is, here's a couple of frameworks,
02:06:33here's a couple of frameworks that might be interesting
02:06:34for you.
02:06:35As far as I can see, we've had two waves
02:06:39at the Manosphere so far.
02:06:40First wave of pickup artistry was Neil Strauss,
02:06:43the game mystery was negging.
02:06:44And like, have you seen the midget fight outside?
02:06:47And it was.
02:06:48- Which was also like, that was a switch from results
02:06:50to actions with regard to being attractive to women.
02:06:53'Cause prior to that, it was just, you're as handsome
02:06:56and as wealthy as you are.
02:06:57And that is your outcome with women.
02:06:58And it was like, oh, you can behave in a certain way.
02:07:01Then second wave Manosphere was post me too,
02:07:04because pickup artistry was never going to survive
02:07:06the wave of sort of calling to account men
02:07:08for using position to coerce people into sex.
02:07:12And then we got a kind of sanitized,
02:07:15slightly adjusted version of it.
02:07:17And it was red pill, black pill, blue pill, soy boys, cucks.
02:07:20It was like simps and betas and alphas.
02:07:22And it was like that whole world.
02:07:24- Which interesting, and I'm kind of projecting,
02:07:27but is these guys started to feel upset about their things.
02:07:30They were getting bothered and they said,
02:07:31they took a almost more feminine approach.
02:07:34We're going to talk a lot about our problems.
02:07:36- Well, don't forget.
02:07:36- And ask the world to be different.
02:07:38- Don't forget.
02:07:38Don't forget that the like in cell, black pill,
02:07:41red pill community came out of PUA hate.
02:07:44Like PUA hate was the original Reddit.
02:07:46And PUA hate was people who had done pickup
02:07:49and had found that the strategies had either not worked
02:07:53or worked and made them aware of their own shortcomings.
02:07:56Look at how much I need to perform
02:07:57in order to get women to like me.
02:07:59- That's really frustrating.
02:08:00- Yeah, like I at core am so far away from what women want
02:08:05that I need to construct
02:08:08this elaborate fucking cathedral of bullshit
02:08:11in order to get them to like me.
02:08:13That is another comment on my self worth.
02:08:16- And I do want to pause
02:08:17because I think that these are huge spheres
02:08:19and I don't, I've spoken to people in it
02:08:21and there are well seen cultural commentaries
02:08:25that do come from the red pill community.
02:08:27I broadly disagree with,
02:08:31I think the emotional undertone of it is pain, but yeah.
02:08:35- Well, who was it that said, I think it was Dr. K
02:08:38that was like, everybody in the red pill
02:08:40is a hopeless romantic.
02:08:42- Yeah, that's what I'll see.
02:08:44- It's like cool.
02:08:45It's like pretty kind of nice.
02:08:46Anyway, and I'm like, okay, that was second wave.
02:08:49But one of the things that it denied was sensitivity
02:08:53because sensitivity didn't show up front
02:08:57the dimension of masculinity
02:09:00that was supposed to look commanding.
02:09:02And I'm writing a lot about vulnerability
02:09:05and about emotions at the moment.
02:09:07And I think you're right.
02:09:08Like whether it's my current working title
02:09:11for the mano pause or the like third wave manosphere stuff,
02:09:16Mack and Murphy, William Costello,
02:09:18Rob Henderson from like the academic sphere of this,
02:09:22Alexander date psych, like they're kind of pointing at it
02:09:24from a more like academic lens,
02:09:27all post-grads or doctoral students or whatever the fuck.
02:09:30And then Dr. K, Joe Hudson kind of marrying master coach,
02:09:35East and West stuff, modality focused,
02:09:39you coming in with like psychedelic sort of lens to it.
02:09:43And then I guess I'm ancillary to that
02:09:46in kind of like bro sphere type stuff.
02:09:50You're credible in a bro sphere,
02:09:52which I think is really important.
02:09:55Really, really important.
02:09:56- But there's something going on, dude.
02:09:57And I don't know what it is.
02:09:59The conversation I had with Tucker Carlson,
02:10:04I think correctly identifies a lot of the problems.
02:10:07One other thing just to add in on the men piece.
02:10:12When I first, the like arc of me working through
02:10:16a lot of the mating stuff,
02:10:18which inevitably ends up just pointing back at yourself.
02:10:20Like whatever it is that you enter at,
02:10:21it ends up coming back to you.
02:10:23You start off going, wow, there's some stats
02:10:25around sexlessness and like matinglessness
02:10:28that kind of it's scary.
02:10:30I wonder what's going on.
02:10:31So you go to evolutionary psychology and you say,
02:10:33what are the underpinnings of our motivations?
02:10:34Proximate ultimate reasons for behavior, mate guarding,
02:10:38jealousy, male parental uncertainty, resources,
02:10:41intersexual competition, intersexual competition.
02:10:43God, that's interesting, but that's not the whole picture.
02:10:46And then you move down to environment mismatch
02:10:49and you say, okay, so how is modern environment
02:10:52and ancestral programming coming together
02:10:54to create these odd mismatches?
02:10:55That's interesting.
02:10:56And that's currently where a lot of the red pill
02:10:58and a lot of the conversation from both men and women,
02:11:01mostly men, is at.
02:11:02But the next step down from that,
02:11:05which is kind of where I'm at currently, this is my model,
02:11:07is even if you know what's happening in the world
02:11:11demographically in terms of stats,
02:11:13you know our ancestral programming in terms of
02:11:16what are the underlying motivations
02:11:18and incentives for how we work.
02:11:19You then marry those two together to get modern mismatch.
02:11:23At no point in anybody's relationship ever
02:11:27has anyone directly interacted
02:11:29with their environmental mismatch.
02:11:31They interact relationally.
02:11:34Okay, so what is the emotion that I feel
02:11:36when my partner out earns me and I'm a man?
02:11:38- Got it, got it, yeah.
02:11:40- That's the vanguard, like the tip of the spear
02:11:43of how this shit works is-
02:11:46- It's mediated by emotion, yeah.
02:11:48- Emotion, bingo.
02:11:49So that's where I'm at.
02:11:50- Oh, it's like, yeah.
02:11:51Well, she makes more than me and that's a problem.
02:11:52It's like, it's a problem 'cause of how I feel.
02:11:54It's a problem 'cause how she feels.
02:11:55It's a problem 'cause, yeah.
02:11:56- Yes. - Got it.
02:11:57- So the tip of the spear of this shit,
02:11:59and this is Gay Hendrick's work, fucking awesome stuff.
02:12:04And in part,
02:12:07no more Mr. Nice Guy, Robert Glover,
02:12:11like he's sort of like looking at a part of this
02:12:15in the wing of this.
02:12:17So yeah, there's like some fucking autistic Avengers thing
02:12:20where there's cool information
02:12:28and vibes that if combined correctly,
02:12:34I think could make for like a really fucking good,
02:12:37holistic bit of development.
02:12:39- Let me ask 'cause this is, I think, love my dad
02:12:43and I didn't feel like I had,
02:12:45I didn't wanna be my dad in a lot of ways.
02:12:48And I look around and I see a lot of people
02:12:51that as cheesy as it sounds, did not have male role models.
02:12:55I don't know if it happened in your neighborhood,
02:12:56but I couldn't find a marriage that I wanted.
02:13:00I still struggle.
02:13:01- It was a role model desert for me where I grew up.
02:13:03- Yeah, I think it's a role model desert of a world
02:13:07for our thing.
02:13:08I don't know how many people are familiar
02:13:09with like male-female relationships in suburbia
02:13:12that work in a way that feels good.
02:13:14And the complete lack of that meant that my generation
02:13:19and we were like lost boys.
02:13:21I was the farthest ahead.
02:13:22I was the old one, right?
02:13:24And so I think there's a huge opportunity
02:13:26'cause we've decried the loss of ritual
02:13:28and the loss of male connection is for you, me, et cetera,
02:13:32to be both digital, five, 10 years in front mentors.
02:13:37But I also think there's some possibility
02:13:40for a digital, physical hybrid, which you experienced
02:13:42with Joe where you were in person with people of,
02:13:46oh my God, the missing older brother,
02:13:49the missing younger uncle.
02:13:52Like that archetype is just, we're starving for it.
02:13:57- But this is why the live shows,
02:13:58this is why the tour, that's like just-
02:14:01- And that's what Jordan Peterson was.
02:14:03He was everyone's dad.
02:14:04He was the guy who said, I believe in you,
02:14:06but you can do better.
02:14:08He filled that father role for people all over the world.
02:14:11And it's not ideal that he had to do it,
02:14:13but it was in tremendous service to those people.
02:14:16And I think that there's a, he was so much older.
02:14:20I think there's an older brother,
02:14:22younger uncle thing that is like-
02:14:24- Well, also there's an issue with sort of selling it
02:14:26that I don't know how many people want to be Joe Hudson.
02:14:30I want to be Jordan Peterson.
02:14:32I don't even know how many people want to be Joe Rogan.
02:14:35So you're like, fuck, if your main audience is 34,
02:14:39like can they look at someone that's 20 years their senior
02:14:43and be like, oh, that's where I might want to be,
02:14:47but not right now.
02:14:48So yeah, bringing it the fucking distance
02:14:52a little bit closer.
02:14:53- Jordan was able to talk at a high level
02:14:54about male-female dynamics in a way that was helpful,
02:14:56but it wasn't five, six, seven years out of the dating pool.
02:14:59He met his wife when he was like elementary school
02:15:01or something. - Yeah, exactly.
02:15:02- Yeah, so how do I do it on Snapchat or TikTok?
02:15:06It's like that tactical level was not available with him.
02:15:11And so that's what I think is really,
02:15:12I hope that people can find my content
02:15:14at the level of what do I text her
02:15:16and stick with me all the way through the things
02:15:18that I haven't gone to, which is like, how do I propose?
02:15:20How do I be with her?
02:15:21How do I be a good dad?
02:15:22I think there's a really potentially beautiful ladder
02:15:27of male development that is being broken down
02:15:30and reconstructed so that people can enter at various levels
02:15:34but also see that, oh, there is another stage coming.
02:15:37I may have to leave some people behind.
02:15:39It's not the end of the world.
02:15:41I see that my older digital brother or uncle
02:15:43has gone through this before.
02:15:45And that, why do I want to do that?
02:15:47That's what I didn't have.
02:15:48Like, you know, reading Tim Ferriss posts.
02:15:50- Even with, yeah, yeah, yeah.
02:15:51Even with the people that we did have
02:15:53that our parents didn't have.
02:15:54And it still wasn't enough.
02:15:55- It wasn't enough.
02:15:56- It wasn't enough.
02:15:57It was with Tim, who I love and saved me,
02:16:01was here's how to do it.
02:16:02You know, here's how to do it.
02:16:03But it wasn't like, I see you.
02:16:05I'm there for you.
02:16:06I get it.
02:16:07- And this is what it's going to feel like.
02:16:08- And this is what it's going to feel like.
02:16:09- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
02:16:10- And you can stick maybe, yeah, yeah.
02:16:12- Bro, this has been so much fun.
02:16:15I feel oddly exposed as well.
02:16:18I feel very, like the tide's gone out and my pants are off.
02:16:23- We have control over the edit, so you do whatever you want.
02:16:25That is true, we will see how much of it makes it in.
02:16:29- Thank you for sharing with me, yeah.
02:16:31- What can people expect from you
02:16:34over the not too distant future?
02:16:37- What can they expect?
02:16:40Chaos, I don't know.
02:16:41I'm really excited.
02:16:42I won't even put my stake in the ground.
02:16:45I'm excited to find out myself.
02:16:47- Unreal.
02:16:48Charlie Hooper, ladies and gentlemen.
02:16:49Dude, I love you.
02:16:50Thank you.
02:16:50- Thank you, man.
02:16:52- Thank you very much for tuning in.
02:16:55Personal conversation there with Charlie.
02:16:58I really loved it.
02:16:59I think he's brilliant.
02:17:00And if you enjoyed that one,
02:17:01Scott Galloway is also fantastic and available right here.

Key Takeaway

True personal evolution requires moving beyond material optimization toward emotional and spiritual integration, accepting the inevitable 'ego deaths' and lonely chapters that accompany the path to wholeness.

Highlights

The transition from a 'victim mindset' to an 'optimizer mindset' leads to a secondary lonely chapter when optimization no longer provides fulfillment.

A four-level hierarchy of growth is proposed: results, actions, emotions, and spirituality/connection.

The concept of 'unteachable lessons' suggests that some life truths, like money not buying happiness, must be experienced personally to be understood.

True charisma is redefined as a 'divinely given gift' where one acts as a transparent vessel for radiance and authenticity rather than just social performance.

The importance of integrating both masculine (order, agency) and feminine (receptivity, intuition) principles within an individual for true wholeness.

The 'God pivot' occurs reliably for high achievers who reach the top of their field only to find an internal void that material success cannot fill.

Sensitivity and the ability to say 'ouch' when hurt are reclaimed as strengths that allow for deeper creativity and service to others.

Timeline

The Second Lonely Chapter and the Emptiness of Success

Charlie Houpert discusses his personal transition from a shy youth to a successful entrepreneur in his 30s. He describes a 'second lonely chapter' that occurs when one has optimized their life—business, fitness, and relationships—yet still feels a profound internal emptiness. This section explores how Houpert began 'unconsciously breaking things' because his previous drive for material results no longer provided nourishment. He reflects on the shift from solving external problems to attending to the 'soul's awakening' and emotional needs. The conversation emphasizes that material success is not antithetical to spiritual connection, but it can mask unresolved childhood traumas.

The Concept of Unteachable Lessons

Chris Williamson introduces his 'unteachable lessons' essay, which posits that humans reliably disregard the wisdom of elders until they experience hardship themselves. He lists 'basic' insights such as 'money won't make you happy' and 'fame won't fix self-worth,' noting that people often believe they are the exception to these rules. The speakers discuss the irony of how people proclaim these trite facts as 'religious revelations' only after they personally hit a wall. Houpert adds that there is a certain beauty in the process of 'bumping your head,' suggesting that these failures are a necessary part of growth. They conclude that the real lesson is the universal human tendency to learn the hard way.

A Four-Level Pyramid of Human Growth

Houpert presents a hierarchical model of development starting with Results, then moving down to Actions, Emotions, and finally Spirituality. He explains that moving between these levels often causes a 'dip' in real-world performance and a loss of social circles that were tied to the previous stage. The transition from action to emotion involves moving away from pure discipline toward sitting with difficult feelings like shame, grief, and rage. Houpert describes the deepest layer as a spiritual connection to life or God, which addresses the ancestral disconnection prevalent in Western culture. This section highlights the 'God pivot' often seen in high-profile achievers who find material paradigms insufficient.

The Resistance to Change and the 'Looking Glass Self'

The discussion turns to why the people around an evolving individual often resist that person's change. Williamson explains the 'looking glass self,' where others have an incentive for you to stay the same because your growth highlights their lack of change. Houpert shares the grief of recognizing that as he grows, he must sometimes leave friends behind or 'demonize' them as representations of his old self. They discuss Jordan Peterson's idea that one cannot 'regress' back to a state of ignorance once awareness has been expanded. The dialogue touches on the misery that accompanies the loss of certainty during these liminal periods of growth.

Masculinity, Vulnerability, and the Vessel of Containment

This segment explores the relationship between conviction and charisma, noting that while conviction provides the backbone for influence, it can stifle growth if it prevents self-doubt. Houpert redefines masculinity not as the absence of feeling, but as having a 'vessel' strong enough to contain intense emotions without being overwhelmed. They critique the tendency for high-level achievers to disconnect from their feelings for the sake of efficiency, which often leads to burnout and a lack of peace. The speakers discuss Joe Hudson's definition of vulnerability as 'speaking your truth even when it is scary.' They acknowledge that choosing the path of emotional awareness often means sacrificing observable metrics that society values.

Service, Intuition, and the Sacred Marriage of Principles

Houpert describes moving from self-service to a genuine desire for communal service through his creative work. He emphasizes the need to marry the 'divine masculine' (structure and agency) with the 'divine feminine' (intuition and receptivity). He shares a metaphor about playing a video game, realizing that over-optimization was sucking the joy out of the experience and preventing discovery. This leads to a discussion on 'ego death' and the courage required to follow intuitive 'whispers' that don't always align with a rational checklist. They explore the idea that anxiety is often a byproduct of trying to collapse all future uncertainty through hyper-optimization.

Archetypes, Myth, and the Future of the Manosphere

The speakers delve into Carl Jung's work and how mythology serves as a bridge between the analytical mind and the spiritual realm. Houpert explains how archetypes like the 'hero's journey' and the 'wise father' help individuals identify missing pieces of their own psyche. He shares the Greek etymology of 'charisma,' linking it to a 'divinely given gift' rather than just a social skill. They discuss the evolution of the 'Manosphere,' suggesting a 'third wave' is emerging that values emotional intelligence and sensitivity. This section emphasizes that archetypal stories provide a map for navigating internal conflicts that modern rationalism cannot solve.

The Pride of Sensitivity and the Call to Presence

In the final section, Williamson and Houpert share personal moments of emotional breakthrough, such as 'crying at the moon' or acknowledging the pain of a failed project launch. They advocate for the 'pride of sensitivity,' arguing that armor worn for survival often blocks out the beauty of life. Houpert discusses his desire to help men navigate the transition between 'how to text a girl' and 'how to be a good father' through a more holistic developmental ladder. They reflect on the role of digital mentors as 'older brothers' who can provide the ritualized guidance missing in modern society. The video concludes with a commitment to living more authentically and embracing the 'ouches' of life.

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