4.2M Q&A - Sleeping With An Ex, Harambe & Settling Down
CChris Williamson
ManagementMarriageExerciseMental HealthAir Travel
Transcript
00:00:00what's happening people welcome back to the show it is a 4.2 million subscriber q a episode and
00:00:18as is tradition i asked for questions from twitter and youtube and instagram and there were
00:00:24lots so let's get into it stealthing through 21 what's going on with all these group episodes
00:00:32in the studio yeah i guess i kind of launched this studio and at no point actually got to tell
00:00:39you that it was happening sort of unceremonious beginning there was no ribbon cutting thing
00:00:43and uh i'm just having a lot of fun having multiple guests in the studio with me i you know for a long
00:00:51time modern wisdom's been very serious meaningful conversations me talking to world experts you
00:00:56know 1100 episodes like that and i still love doing that but sometimes it can feel a little bit like
00:01:03homework when it's very serious all the time and these hang style episodes the one that i did with
00:01:11huberman mccusker and segura for me was one of the most fun conversations i've ever had i thought that
00:01:16was awesome i think that the episodes i do with george and sean have been so much fun as well the
00:01:21debate stuff is cool because it's not necessarily people on opposite sides of a discussion one of the
00:01:27problems of most debates at least for me on the internet is that it becomes a slanging match everyone's
00:01:32there as basically a verbal blood sport to see who can fuck who up the most and you don't actually get
00:01:38to arrive at consensus at the end what you get is a bunch of people who shouted and you don't actually
00:01:42know what the conclusion is or the takeaway because no one's going to seed ground no one ever says
00:01:47oh actually that's that's an that's an interesting insight i never thought of that because they know
00:01:51that they're supposed to be in opposition whereas the conversations that i'm trying to put together
00:01:55are people who have slightly differing perspectives on the same topic and that means that maybe they can
00:02:00actually develop each other's worldviews as opposed to it just being this like
00:02:03bay blade remember bay blades where you like gripped it and ripped it and it span around and
00:02:09everybody got destroyed in the end everybody got destroyed i don't want that uh i'm just having a
00:02:14lot of fun i want to have a lot of fun on the show especially this year you know it took six months
00:02:18to build this studio and i love being here and i i'm not going to do that and not invite my friends
00:02:24around to hang out and have a good time and have a laugh also if i'm being honest i think that
00:02:30the sort of the sort of grind slop era of pushing people to always always only ever really focus on
00:02:38personal development and self-improvement at the expense of everything else i'm personally feeling
00:02:44a little bit of fatigue with that and that's still amazing for me and hormosi to sit down and talk and
00:02:50get people to lock in but it's nice when there's like you you have your starter your main course and
00:02:55your dessert and the dessert's a little bit of a treat right these are just treats i'm giving you a
00:03:00a a small it's a canapé it's like a little dessert canapé every so often i'm just flicking little
00:03:06bits of chocolate sauce at you and i'm having a lot of fun with them i'm enjoying them i think they rule
00:03:11i think in the era of ai people are already drowning in a lot of information and the number one use
00:03:17for llms and for chats are uh like coaching advice for people what they're going through
00:03:24do we need to have even more more of that or is it going to be nice to have a bit of a safe space
00:03:30where people can just relax and and listen and if i don't take notes of every single episode like
00:03:36you may not learn anything from the human segura mokoskar episode right like you genuinely may not learn
00:03:42anything from it but you'll have a good time and honestly i think that's that's worth an awful lot
00:03:48anyway i'm loving them i'm really enjoying them i like sitting down and having the serious conversations
00:03:53but i'm just i'm playing around with new formats i appreciate you guys being patient i i understand as
00:03:58well i'm probably going to lose some audience members there's some people who just want to hear me
00:04:02and another person do the you know dark furrowed brow serious thing and uh there's going to be a
00:04:09um some people are not going to like it but i've always followed my instincts with the show i've
00:04:13always really tried to just do what i wanted uh because if i'm having fun and i'm enjoying it and
00:04:19it resonates with me i have to assume that it will resonate with you too or i hope it does and uh
00:04:24that's what i'm doing that's my master plan my master plan is to have fun uh and to try and do stuff
00:04:29that's different i don't know really of any other shows or many of the shows that are trying to put it
00:04:34together in this way and this feels like a a bit of white space that i can move into which i want to
00:04:39because i enjoy it and also it's something that i don't know maybe is different it's different maybe
00:04:44you can't get it elsewhere so that's my that's my thinking i hope you enjoy it uh i'm always open to
00:04:48feedback so just comment on stuff that you like stuff that you don't like people you want to see
00:04:52people you don't want to i am going to try and put neil degrasse tyson and mark normand on a
00:04:57round table i'm going to try and put uh eric weinstein with uh rick glassman on a round table
00:05:04together uh i'm going to try and do bert kreischer with brian johnson and just see what i'm going to
00:05:11pull a bunch of pins on grenades throw them in the middle of that table that's right there this is the
00:05:15same studio but it's the same room at least by the way uh and also i'm sorry the new studio thing
00:05:20unceremonious launch i should have i should have i should have done a vlog we kind of tracked it and
00:05:27then i went away on tour and then i came back and did 10 episodes in five days it was all a bit
00:05:30it was it was chaotic and stuff but i'll do a video i'll do a video and i'll explain this vision
00:05:37in full but that's what i'm trying to do i really hope that you guys love it um i'm having a lot of
00:05:40fun doing these episodes they get me excited and i can still lock in do the wisdom core you know
00:05:47modern wisdom versus stuff still got that in the locker that'll still be coming then the debate
00:05:52things i think are fun as well because it's not necessarily people disagreeing i'm aware
00:05:56you might be mad that you didn't get the blood that you thought you would when you heard debate
00:06:01well what's a debate if all of the people are agreeing you go well they don't fully agree
00:06:06and they get to build on each other's arguments as opposed to just tear them down and that to me
00:06:10suits my nervous system but also feels like a more productive way to have a discussion with people
00:06:15to see seriously what they can get out of it so anyway that's that's what i'm doing that's my
00:06:20master plan i hope you enjoy it icaro da silva my ex contacts me to sleep with her but she feels guilty
00:06:28about it the next day do i stop gonna make an assumption icaro that you only feel guilty about
00:06:36her feeling guilty not that you feel guilty about doing it it sounds to me like that's the issue maybe
00:06:43you don't even feel guilty about her feeling guilty you just you're sort of you've noticed it you're
00:06:47slightly concerned i
00:06:49consenting adults she wants to do it you have no obligation not to do it i get the sense
00:07:00it's probably better for your karma you know the little conscience karma score it's obviously playing
00:07:05on your mind right well that's not a zero cost activity the fact that you're thinking about it
00:07:11enough to submit this as a question uh you've already piped it for a good while when you were
00:07:17together you've done enough breakup sex it sounds i reckon allow her to move on even if you don't feel
00:07:25guilty about doing it you might start feeling guilty about her feeling guilty and like a genuine
00:07:31general rule of thumb is to treat every girl that you're with as if you were going to marry her or
00:07:38treat her like the girl that you're going to marry like how you want that girl to be treated by somebody
00:07:44else and if you were to find out that the girl you get with next had been mistreated and her ex
00:07:50kept sleeping with her and all of this stuff you'd probably feel a bit bad it's the uh it's like the
00:07:54golden rule it's a golden rule of dating like treat others as you would wish your next partner to be
00:08:00treated something like that anyway i you've piped it enough give it a rest
00:08:07rate rachel lord gavin what was your favorite part about your recent tour in australia
00:08:14australia was awesome thank you to everyone who came out and in new zealand and in bali
00:08:19i got to see adelaide for the first time and perth for the first time and that was great and um
00:08:25i really loved perth it's super cool i'd never flown to that side of australia it's five hours away the
00:08:32rooting was awful for the people that didn't watch the vlog we went from one side of australia to the
00:08:37other and back with shows on every day in the space of 48 hours it was stupid like we ruined the entire
00:08:44trip just to get to perth uh but it was worth it that was awesome i have to say brisbane is one of the
00:08:53coolest cities on the planet it's everyone's fit everyone's fit and hot and tanned and there's the
00:08:58best gym in the world there which is total fusion platinum it's out of this world and the in the
00:09:05architecture is nice and there's hanging gardens coming out the side of buildings and there's a
00:09:09waterfront and it's great so brisbane awesome perth awesome and uh i mean it's the second biggest show
00:09:16i've ever done we sold out the darling harbour theatre in sydney we me ah it was sick it was
00:09:23really really cool i can't wait to go back a mere demir dag when do you know it's time to settle
00:09:30being single is fun p.s see you in dublin in october i will see you in dublin presumably as you've
00:09:37rattled your way through some more of island uh
00:09:40by the way if you haven't got tickets for my uk and ireland tour you can get those at chriswilliamson.live
00:09:47dublin's sold out so you can't go to dublin but there's some tickets available for everywhere else
00:09:51london and and edinburgh and a ton of other spaces and you can get them now chriswilliamson.live
00:09:57um when do you know it's time to settle
00:09:59when you feel like it kind of i think trying to prescribe forcing yourself to settle down will
00:10:08just result in you resenting the settling you don't want to do that if you try and you know reverse
00:10:14engineer force your way into doing something that you don't feel like doing that's a that's a pretty
00:10:20guaranteed way to self-destruct at some point uh there is a great line about dating which is you
00:10:27can't negotiate desire and i think the same thing is kind of true here which is you can't even negotiate
00:10:32your own desire uh you can't convince somebody else to find you attractive if they don't but you
00:10:37can't convince yourself to want to do something if you don't like how many times have you been in a
00:10:43relationship with somebody that on paper is all of the things that you want in a partner and for some
00:10:48reason that you know this is when people say the spark's not there it's just not quite right i don't
00:10:54know what it is i don't feel compelled or whatever by them you're trying to dictate to yourself hey
00:10:59feel this way you don't and if you're saying being single is fun i imagine it's very fun in in dublin
00:11:07you're denying yourself the thing that you're enjoying in an attempt to try and do a thing that
00:11:15you think that you should now is there a limit to this probably if you've ran through half of dublin
00:11:21might be time to give it a bit of a break uh but at least if it's not on your radar if it's only on
00:11:27your radar because you feel obliged to i don't think that it's something that you need to think about
00:11:30because it's just going to result in failure now that's why you do the self-work that's when you
00:11:37spend some time journaling and you think well maybe i'm scared of intimacy maybe i've got a concern
00:11:42about settling down maybe it feels constraining and constricting to me because
00:11:45that's what i felt as a child or i'm not happy in my uh in my job outside of this i don't feel fully
00:11:54i don't feel fully seen at work or whatever it might be there's a lot of reasons about what might
00:11:59be going on there anyway you do it when you feel like it that's it thomas goodfellow are you a
00:12:07comte met met i often wonder if hyper successful people are yes i am game recognizes game as they say
00:12:14uh for the people that don't know comte is a genetic polymorphism snip variant something and it's
00:12:24the met met variant is the most extreme version of it because you've got two copies so i think it's
00:12:30the same as being double a and this basically means that you clear catecholamines and adrenaline
00:12:36more slowly and you have a higher dopamine baseline so if some sort of stressful chaotic situation occurs
00:12:49it takes longer for you to come back down to baseline um i would make a horrible navy seal but a pretty good
00:12:58artist for instance whereas if things are predictable uh relatively routinized quite peaceful you can operate
00:13:05and lock in very very well you pay a lot of attention to detail this is kind of one of the polymorphisms
00:13:12that's associated with the classic insecure overachiever overthinker archetype and uh yeah i think hyper
00:13:18successful people you got to pay a lot of attention to stuff you know the retard maxing aside retard
00:13:24maxing is somebody that could be the guy on the right being the guy on the left like you have all of the capacity
00:13:30to overthink and you're choosing not to like or else you're just incapable it's the same thing as the
00:13:35peterson line about um having the capacity for danger and not using it or having the capacity for
00:13:42aggression and not using it is different to being unable to be aggressive like that's those two things
00:13:47aren't the same and the same thing's true here that even if it's often optimal to try and simplify stuff
00:13:52and not over complicate it that is going from a i could over complicate it and i choose not to
00:13:57and you get to select the very few areas that you do complicate because they're the ones that have
00:14:02got the highest return versus i i can't complicate i can't think that deeply that being said you don't
00:14:09need a com t met met variant to be a thoughtful person that pays attention to shit
00:14:12i would guess a lot of people are um i certainly know a bunch of my friends have at least one copy
00:14:18of com t that being said it is not
00:14:21i don't even know if it's 5149 beneficial it just is like having that com t variant just
00:14:29is it requires you to adapt your lifestyle in a different way that's why
00:14:33i don't like getting into beef on the internet i'm just not built for it i'm not built to have
00:14:38a like i'm not built to be ben shapiro right or piers morgan or something what did i say at the top
00:14:44of the show about the new style of debate like my nervous system just i don't really feel like
00:14:50people shouting and screaming at each other while i'm sat in a room i just want everyone to kind of
00:14:55build on it and sort of be friends and get along like that feels better to me not only because that's
00:15:01my disposition but it's my predisposition as well uh and trying to work around it trying to fight
00:15:07against it i would lose so yes i am and i think some hyper successful people are too but it's
00:15:14absolutely not all sunshine and rainbows in fact it might be more rain may maybe more rainbows and
00:15:21sunshine if that's what it is whatever it might it might suck more than it more than it's a beneficial
00:15:25uh advantage and i'm working through it cha cha cha cha cha cha cha what is the smallest hill you would die on
00:15:36what is the smallest hill i would die on
00:15:43hold luggage is a psyop meant to keep you poor and late
00:15:48the most important part of a bed is the pillow those are the two those are the two smallest hills
00:16:05that i'm i'm yet to find a trip where you need to take hold luggage unless you're taking something
00:16:13commercial right like we had to fly i got i got shit on the on the tour vlog because i had hold
00:16:21luggage with me it contained the merch all right it contained all the merch that we were putting up
00:16:27so that people could see what they were going to buy and then the actual stuff that they bought was
00:16:30shipped there give me a break
00:16:32good pillow bad bed good night's sleep bad pillow good bed average night's sleep most important part of
00:16:42bed's the pillow two hills i'll die on i i don't care what you say not that sexton i wonder if this is
00:16:50james sexton uh did you get much backlash for your louis manosphere episode yes i did yes i did i managed
00:16:58to unite the feminists and the manosphere in agreement that the worst part of louis theroux's manosphere
00:17:04documentary was him coming on my podcast the day after the documentary dropped
00:17:10all most of the people that were involved in the documentary weren't tweeting necessarily about the
00:17:19documentary but we're doing big diatribes about my conversation with louis and calling me out so it's
00:17:24been i've got fucking whiplash this year from trying to work out where i'm supposed to be positioned
00:17:32whether i'm in the manosphere or a feminist whether i'm a right-wing bigot or a left left-wing blue-pilled
00:17:40cuck i i can't work it out based on other people's opinions of me uh i did tucker carlson's show in november
00:17:47and there was this huge breakdown this like massive essay by a prominent writer uh that said i was
00:17:55riddled with blue-pilled thinking and infected with feminist lies that was interesting and then
00:18:02january me and bartlett got in bother for talking about birthright decline
00:18:07and i was a misogynist a manosphere red pill right wing i was a lux maxer which almost feels like a
00:18:17compliment uh and then did the episode with louis and i was uh a feminist again so i'm
00:18:27i'm actually getting ripped around like my neck hurts from trying to hold on as i get jiggled about
00:18:34on this roller coaster uh i got a lot of backlash because it looks like i'm supposed to adhere to one
00:18:43side which i don't and you don't get any support from the side that only recently was calling you out so
00:18:52i enjoyed that conversation i enjoyed that conversation with louis i don't agree with
00:18:56everything that he said i don't agree with the way that he framed everything inside of the episode i
00:19:00thought he missed some stuff out that would have been really important to have gotten around to
00:19:03uh i still had an interesting conversation with him i had an interesting conversation with bernie
00:19:09sanders right bernie sanders who said i think it's a big problem when talking about birthright decline
00:19:15that's bernie sanders right that's mr left mr left i i'm going to continue to have the conversations i
00:19:23want to have i'm really trying my best to do them in a balanced way i'm trying to put this across
00:19:29with people that i think act in good faith understand what they're talking about i'm not
00:19:34going to agree with everything that they say and if i get pattern matched as being manosphere adjacent or
00:19:42as being an apologist for feminist thinking or something so be it like i i can't spend my time
00:19:53trying to explain to people my position if they don't care and don't have the capacity to understand
00:20:01what i'm doing the people that listen to the show i think have a really good understanding of what i'm
00:20:05trying to do and the show's for them the show is for you guys if you're this deep whatever 15 minutes
00:20:1120 minutes deep into a solo q a episode the show is for you and if somebody sees a clip of me where
00:20:17i say something and because of the way that i look or because of the accent i've got or because of
00:20:22whatever the forearm tumors um if they think that that's a it means that i've sided with one group or
00:20:30another but fine like i'm not going to spend a waste my time explaining myself to people who don't
00:20:34understand what i'm doing gatlin 1320 you and alex o'connor have been on a generational run lately
00:20:43thank you very much uh alex is so great dude like i've been friends with him for
00:20:54seven years now and i've been a fan of him maybe for even longer and he's just so great he's a lovely
00:21:02guy behind the scenes uh i genuinely like him he has worked incredibly hard i mean he's been doing
00:21:08youtube since in nearly 10 years now it wouldn't surprise me if it's been 10 years it's at least
00:21:14been sort of nine or eight and um i think he's fantastic i think he is a wonderful voice at the
00:21:20moment who understands theology respects religion respects believers and isn't kind of really
00:21:29sterile and mean when talking about religion and belief and can hold the ground of he understands
00:21:38theology and religion and scripture often better than the people that he's sitting opposite which is
00:21:44crazy as opposed to kind of just steaming in with well this is irrational and that couldn't happen and
00:21:49he has some science he sort of steps onto the field of play of people who are believers and then has a
00:21:55conversation with them inside of their domain and it's just it does not surprise me at all that
00:21:59he's kind of the center of this conversation around religion also his pivot from atheism to agnostic i think
00:22:06is is really great because it makes it sound less adversarial again i think people are getting
00:22:13frustrated and fatigued with all of the fighting and cantankerous like we know that this is the way to do
00:22:20it and i worry will you read the last you will find if i if i open up your twitter on the 23rd of april
00:22:262026 that you say oh my god dude like can we not just have a fucking can we not just have a conversation
00:22:32that's relatively cordial where both people are trying to find some form of truth and agreement
00:22:40and understanding about somebody else's perspective like is that not is that not fun are we not here
00:22:45to have a fun time like that is that not this nice blend of i'm going to learn a bit and i'm not going
00:22:50to walk away feeling like i've just been injected with a ton of adrenaline is that not okay i don't
00:22:54know alex is great thank you generational run i'm trying to crank it in my own way and maybe he'll
00:23:00be back on the show maybe he'll do one of those roundtable debate things that would be fun so leave
00:23:04it with me kayla ironside i remember being subscribed when you had 100 followers and would respond to
00:23:11comments you let fame get way to your head you don't even have good guests anymore just self-help gurus
00:23:18which gets boring well look after i've had the shaman on it is no surprise that self-help gurus
00:23:28has been alleged at me uh kayla i'm sorry that i haven't been replying responding to your comments
00:23:35um if you've been here since 100 followers and i'm still landing on your newsfeed
00:23:41that that feels pretty sticky uh i apologize that you think that the show's dropped off
00:23:46um i let fame get way to my head i'm gonna push back against that one
00:23:52british people and it's the brand of british person that i am basically has anti-ego and i'm
00:24:02i i don't think it's fair to allege that i've let fame get way to my head because i'm
00:24:07not responding to your comments there used to be 100 followers and i would respond a lot
00:24:13there's 4.2 million now i'm still responding a lot there's just more people for the responses to
00:24:18to go around okay i'm really i'm really trying uh i don't even have good guests anymore
00:24:24i apologize i would love to hear who you would like me to bring on the show i'm always open to
00:24:28suggestions from you or from anybody else and i've listened and i've brought on lots of suggestions
00:24:33that have come many of the suggestions are people suggesting themselves uh and other suggestions
00:24:39don't work not right
00:24:43there's a mixed bag of tastefulness inside of every audience mine is more tasteful than most
00:24:49thank you uh i'm sorry kayla um but i'm glad that you've been here for the last eight and a bit
00:24:54years i hope that you keep listening this episode is brought to you by
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00:26:14whatever talk about golden retrievers dude i where i live in austin texas is kind of like
00:26:23it's essentially the epicenter it's the super massive black hole in the center of the golden
00:26:28retriever verse of austin texas and i i think that this is maybe a psyop by big golden to get me
00:26:37to buy a golden and i'm being so you know the uh the truman show and the guy comes over the radio
00:26:44he's like send in another three golden retrievers to sniff his leg as he walks past and it's every
00:26:50single fucking day that i go so i'm happy to talk about golden retrievers uh wally meets world on
00:26:57instagram is perhaps my favorite instagram account it's this overly emotional golden retriever who
00:27:03permanently looks like he's going through a depressive episode and i love him i love him so much like if i
00:27:09sat down i would i would happily do a roundtable episode with three golden retrievers um give me
00:27:16time give me time i really want to have one i feel bad because my mom and dad always had dogs when i was
00:27:23growing up and they treated them so well in terms of they always got walks they were always looked after
00:27:29they weren't pampered but they were just they were never left alone for too long um they got regular
00:27:35exercise they were golden uh uh border collies i i would feel so bad knowing the standard of care that a
00:27:44dog can get and that a dog did get from my mom and dad i would feel bad to have one and not not do that
00:27:54for it um so i'm aware this is like that it's the i'm not ready to have a baby equivalent for
00:28:01golden retrievers but i really want one and and i'm trying to not be selfish about getting one just because i
00:28:09want it to then not give it the standard of care that i think it deserves so i will soon so soon
00:28:15um if anyone can recommend a golden retriever breeder or something that probably will push me
00:28:22a little closer nice fluffy a show golden not a working golden please love working goldens but
00:28:27i want a big i want a big fluffy idiot please big fluffy idiot thank you
00:28:35amber ravina more open tabs group pods please and thank you
00:28:43yes yes but caveat i don't know what the name is i don't know the name is of all of these i've been
00:28:50fighting so hard behind the scenes to work out what to call these things we were going to call the big
00:28:55names episodes like human mccuska segura uh uncommon conversations because it is it's like it's strange
00:29:02group of people but it's so long when you try and put that on youtube or spotify it it it's huge it takes
00:29:10up loads of space so then we were going to call it smoke break right it's casual we're going to call
00:29:14it hot mic and someone's got hot mic and they've got george bush money so i don't want to go up against
00:29:19them uh then it was going to be smoke break it still might be you know the ceo goes out for a
00:29:25smoke break and the janitor's there kind of playing off that plus it's casual and relaxed
00:29:29then it was going to be good vibes or good dudes and it'd be funny if we brought a girl along because
00:29:35she would still be a good dude and then the one with george and sean and the guys was maybe going
00:29:39to be good dudes or rabbit hole because we keep going down rabbit holes but then there's a new
00:29:43york times limited series from ages ago called rabbit hole and then it was going to be open tabs
00:29:47because it's all of the things that are in our minds and all of the different tabs that we've got open
00:29:51on chrome the that we've seen on the internet i don't know what to call it and it's giving me
00:30:00it's giving me low-key anxiety because i keep releasing episodes and i can't decide i can't
00:30:07decide what it is and we keep on having the same discussions and i i i we were also going to call it
00:30:14blunt rotation like the big episode was going to be called blunt rotation uh i don't know what to call
00:30:19it maybe i should just do if i do a poll people are going to vote on the one that they think sounds
00:30:24cool but not the one that they would click on and then we every time that we pick something we have
00:30:29to go through we have to check with an ip lawyer but because it when you get to a certain size
00:30:37the because people think that you have money that they can come after you for for for um it's called
00:30:42passing off in the uk i don't know what the equivalent is in the us in infringement basically
00:30:47and the us is a first to use not first to file as well in trademark law which means you get a degree
00:30:54of protection by simply using it first even if you haven't registered it the nightmare but whatever
00:31:01it's called you will be getting more of those group pods i enjoy them i think they're fun just need a
00:31:08name okay p nobel free can you get elon musk on the pod i got put in a signal group chat with him
00:31:17last week i've been orbiting for a while which i guess is an appropriate term for him
00:31:21uh both sexually and physically and i had slowly sort of crept toward him he'd watched a bunch of
00:31:31the pods he posted the david friedberg app that we did on x which is very kind and then i got put in
00:31:39a group chat after he posted that one and i said do you want to come on the pod and he said maybe after
00:31:46the spacex ipo so just waiting for maybe the most valuable company ever in history to go public
00:31:55and then once that's happened we'll do something i've got an idea for how i want to put that
00:32:00together i want to do something incredibly special similar to the mcconaughey kind of the the big
00:32:05moment and regardless of what you think about elon right you don't even need to like him you don't
00:32:08need to agree with him you can't deny that he's one of the most influential people on the planet
00:32:13he is and uh maybe one of the most influential people he may end up being the most influential
00:32:19person in history by the time that he dies and uh i think it's it that's a it's a good idea to
00:32:28have a conversation with someone like that so i'm gonna try and i'm gonna do something special
00:32:35kptmz chris i've found the tall girl problem is actually a compounding issue if a woman has a high
00:32:44income plus high eq from therapy plus the wisdom of intense life experiences she becomes taller in ways
00:32:51she can't unlearn how do we address this asymmetric growth is it a problem of how we incentivize men
00:32:57toward internal work or is it that we lack therapy or growth models specifically tailored to men p.s
00:33:03curious if other women here feel their height is coming at least equally if not more from their
00:33:10personal growth than their paycheck this is why i love the modern wisdom audience like that is a
00:33:15fucking awesome question that is a really really interesting question from someone who's thought
00:33:20about it deeply and that's why i love you guys the question here tall girl problem socioeconomic success
00:33:27from women has made it difficult or more difficult for them to find a partner who is as socioeconomically
00:33:34successful as they are or more women typically want to date a man who's as educated as they are
00:33:39or more and as financially successful as they are or more there is a third element here that's being
00:33:45proposed by kp which is the emotional development if you've done a lot of self-work here is another
00:33:53uh delta to another distance from you to the people that you're trying to date and i get the sense
00:34:00that this is actually one that could maybe be more destructive to relationships especially over the
00:34:04long term so on the front end when you meet someone you might be more concerned with their education
00:34:10level and their current earning as you get into a relationship that may i think become less and
00:34:16less relevant on the other side i think someone's emotional intelligence up front you're not being
00:34:21that emotional right when you first meet somebody you maybe get some senses here and there but as you get
00:34:28deeper into the relationship if you've done a lot of self-work if you've done a lot of therapy if
00:34:31you've thought deeply about your emotions you're trying to connect to your feelings you're
00:34:34understanding your patterns you're really trying to you're trying to go there you're trying to hold
00:34:39your emotions you're trying to develop yourself if you and your partner have a big delta
00:34:45i think that is going to create more friction and make you feel more alone in the relationship
00:34:52than them not having a master's when you've got a master's and they've just got an undergrad degree
00:34:56or something like that uh so i think this is almost certainly a contributing element i don't know
00:35:06whether the asymmetric growth is that women are doing more emotional work uh it obviously seems like
00:35:14you are unsurprising modern wisdom listener obviously i don't know whether that is on average true for
00:35:22women to be more emotionally in tune and developed than men are in the same way as high levels of degree
00:35:28accomplishment and high levels of financial success are true by the way the stat of women out earning men
00:35:35is now they out earn men up to the age of 32 is 29 previously and i think it's maybe 32 33 like
00:35:43this is a big window for women to try and date in um so i don't know if it's asymmetric growth on
00:35:50average or just asymmetric growth for for you and all of the other women that listen to modern wisdom
00:35:54obviously uh also they're if they've been absorbing the british accent i imagine that's probably a
00:35:59competitive disadvantage too within the market you're like it's you just it's very difficult to
00:36:06compete with the british accent okay so hold on to the american accent at least if you're from america
00:36:11how do we address this asymmetric growth is it a problem of how we incentivize men toward internal work
00:36:16or is it that we lack therapy or growth models specifically tailored to men i certainly think
00:36:22both of those things because the the the two things are interlinked men will be more likely to do a
00:36:28modality of emotional development that they think and that they can see will give them outcomes that they
00:36:36want if you have therapy and growth models specifically tailored to men they're more likely to observe the
00:36:44direct outcome beneficial outcome that they want and pursue it i think rather than trying to sort of
00:36:50whip men into doing it or guilt men into doing it or shame them into doing it it's much better to just
00:36:57make it so attractive and so obviously beneficial to them that they want to do it that to me seems to
00:37:03be like just incentives incentives align the fucking incentives and if you align the incentives so that
00:37:09a guy goes hey i can actually see how this would benefit me in ways that i care about i'm gonna go and
00:37:15do it that's the easiest way so uh a model of getting more guys into therapy bringing across some of the
00:37:25tools i guess from coaching and men's work into therapy um and i've worked with maybe five or six
00:37:33therapists most of them for a short period and two of them for a long period i found myself getting
00:37:40frustrated i was about to say as a man like if they're fucking like speaking as a white man from
00:37:45england i found myself getting frustrated when it only felt like there was reflection and no okay and
00:37:54this is what we're going to do about it or this is a this is an exercise that you can do in the real world
00:38:01which is going to expose you to this pattern or this is a conversation that might be beneficial for you
00:38:06to have or i want you to note down when you feel this thing come up that to me felt like a little
00:38:13bit like homework but it felt like i was making progress like there was a plan in place and that sort of
00:38:17linear trajectory right that sort of upward trajectory is i think really important to men so
00:38:28yes this will help to close the delta what i really just need to do is start a dating organization of
00:38:34modern wisdom listeners like that would pre-select for so many of the problems that people have like
00:38:40this is what's mad about the live shows chriswilliamson.live if you're in the uk and dublin
00:38:44and northern ireland i know that you're sometimes touchy about being a part of the uk
00:38:50at the live shows the number of couples that come together and say we uh work in different companies
00:38:57we have different careers we travel a good bit each day but we listen to the show and then when we come
00:39:01back together on a night time we talk about what's happened in the show like that is obviously because this
00:39:08like wisdom core stuff is a really it's resonating with people like eating a type of nutrient that
00:39:18you haven't had for a long time like it's spirulina for your soul when i get it right when i get it wrong
00:39:22it's sometimes it's just slightly less spirulina for your soul when i get it right this gives people
00:39:30the opportunity to really understand themselves and then deepen their relationship together so pre-selecting
00:39:35for just a bunch of people who are all involved and interested in the same stuff
00:39:38i should just try and find a way but if i do that the prospect the possibility of there being so i did
00:39:45think about doing this i was like oh well why don't i do a mixer after the live event it's gonna be hard
00:39:50because like london the apollo show in london in october is it's a three and a half thousand capacity
00:39:56venue and we sold it out last time so first off where the fuck am i going to put let's say 20 of the
00:40:03the people from there go that's a lot of people like 700 people is a lot of people and what if this i just
00:40:09had this vision in the back of my mind that two people get drunk and go home and have a fumble and then like
00:40:14right wing misogynist blue-pilled cuck feminist podcaster embroiled in drunken i'm like i wasn't even there
00:40:22i was just trying to get i was trying to fix the birth rate and get some make people help people fall
00:40:27in love and find someone that they're alone with so that's that's what i'm trying to think i'm trying
00:40:33to think about maybe just come to come to the live shows and just hang around in the lobby and have a
00:40:39little have a little flirt have a little chat you know maybe that'll fix it but i feel you if you're
00:40:45very emotionally developed it's going to be hard to resonate with people uh and yeah you become
00:40:49taller in ways you can't unlearn right you can stop going to work if you want to settle down start a
00:40:55family you can pivot your career uh it's very difficult to forget the inner work that you've
00:41:01done the emotional development and it's going to make you feel quite alone so the more developed that
00:41:07you get as a human the it's like it's kind of like having a really refined palate but you become a
00:41:13foodie and you can understand the difference between this particular type of bolognese sauce and another
00:41:18one and uh it means as your palate is more refined there are fewer and fewer places that you can go to
00:41:25eat because you're not going to be able to enjoy things in quite the same way you may be going to see
00:41:29through the shallowness of certain types of foods in ways that someone who doesn't have such a developed
00:41:35palate might not they might not struggle with it and i feel for you but also i think that the
00:41:43development is worth it you just need to work a little bit harder to find your person and i am
00:41:47going to try and help in other news shopify powers 10 of all e-commerce companies in the us they are
00:41:56the driving force behind gymshark and skims and aloe and newtonic which is why i partnered with them
00:42:02because when it comes to converting browsers into buyers they are best in class their checkout is 36
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00:42:13up to 50 basically you didn't get into business to learn how to code or build a website or deal with
00:42:19the inventory stuff on the back end you just want to get down to creating and promoting an awesome
00:42:26product and shopify takes all of the mess off your hands and allows you to focus on the job you actually
00:42:31came here to do designing and selling the thing that you love so upgrade your business and get
00:42:35the same checkout that we use with newtonic with shopify right now you can sign up for a one dollar
00:42:40per month trial period by going to the link in the description below or heading to shopify.com
00:42:45slash modern wisdom all lowercase that's shopify.com slash modern wisdom shitty cat fox
00:42:52why do you and literally all of your guests endlessly pander to feminist
00:42:56and then pretend you somehow aren't part of basically all the problems you talk about on your show
00:43:10am i uh how many how many manosphere accusations in headlines do i need
00:43:18i actually should just have you write my pr shitty cat fox which is a brilliant name by the way
00:43:26i should have you write my pr like he is not a part of the manosphere he doesn't care about men
00:43:32he's not a male supremacist he endlessly panders to feminist bullshit along with all of his guests
00:43:36and then pretends that he somehow isn't basically part of all of the problems he talks about on his show
00:43:41that is the that is the best pr that i could come up with but as i said i've got i have neck ache and
00:43:49backache from being ripped around by people on the internet not being able to work out whether i'm
00:43:54their enemy or not on both sides i'm being ideologically spit roasted by both sides of the internet
00:44:01right both the manosphere hate me and the feminists hate me and i think that most people sit in the
00:44:06middle i think that most people understand that these conversations are pretty important and that
00:44:13most of the stuff that goes on on the internet is just
00:44:19rage bait people looking for clicks i'm really trying to not do that i apologize if it feels like
00:44:25i'm endlessly pandering to feminist bullshit i would love for you to sit down with some of
00:44:30the girlies from tick tock and work out who thinks they're right what you can have a conversation
00:44:34between yourselves and then when you work out who you think is right come and have a chat with me
00:44:39but it does feel a little bit like being accused by opposite sides of the same spectrum about being
00:44:48the opposing thing that each side thinks i'm not so a little confusing but thank you i appreciate
00:44:55it's always nice to meet a fan always nice to meet a fan
00:45:01joey gaffney hello christopher will we get any other flavors for the newtonic focus pouches
00:45:07the speak of the devil uh so these newtonic focus pouches the zinternative as we called them
00:45:17took ages to develop nearly 18 months to get right and dial the flavors in and they rule and the fresh mint
00:45:24one is is fantastic yes there's new flavors coming i commissioned a coffee a citrus
00:45:35a spearmint a peppermint and some sort of fruit like a mixed fruit thing and i think i just i have
00:45:42this vision so you can see it's this sort of cylinder thing i have this vision of creating uh
00:45:48like a set of pucks like one two three four five a variety pack like that and i just think it would be
00:45:53so cool um yes there'll be new flavors these sold out in 40 hours in the uk i think they're sold out
00:45:58everywhere now um they are going to be in gnc and vitamin shop just next to the counter which is pretty
00:46:04cool because health stores are pretty worried about putting nicotine in but having something that's a
00:46:10pouch delivery mechanism that doesn't have nicotine in and is good for you
00:46:13and makes your brain work better and is a supplement over time uh
00:46:18that seems pretty cool so i'm i'm very bullish on these
00:46:22everyone that we've spoken to about them all the retailers are super excited so i'm working hard
00:46:26uh we need to get the freshman back in stock first but we're on it leave it with me and uh
00:46:35i know i'm excited
00:46:38arnaldo gonk as a young guy how are you supposed to gain the world's respect do you just have to wait
00:46:46yeah i i'm not sighing at your question i'm sighing at the recollection of being in that position um
00:46:55when i first started running my events business voodoo with darren my ex-business partner we were 18
00:47:02and then we started really sitting down with leisure company owners
00:47:07halfway through first year and then properly into second year so we were 18 19 19 20 21 like really
00:47:13aggressively sitting down and these leisure company owners are kind of
00:47:17grizzled old 50s 60s nightclub group owners or or operators of some kind or another and um
00:47:29i felt pandered to i felt pounded to and i sat down in these these meetings because i knew that i had
00:47:34something to offer this this company and and i it felt like i was getting a pat on the head it's very
00:47:41patronizing to me and i really didn't enjoy it and i understand i think what you're talking about which
00:47:46is that the world doesn't respect you simply because of your age and they could kind of disregard
00:47:55your competence which is what you're operating on right especially you listen to a show like this you're
00:47:59thinking about yourself you're trying to improve yourself and then all of that kind of just gets
00:48:04forgotten about because you're 19 or you're 22 or something um the harsh truth is kind of yeah
00:48:14you do kind of just have to wait i'm sorry it's a very unsatisfactory answer you can try and speed
00:48:19run it um i'll give you one of the hacks that i found when i sat down to have conversations with the
00:48:29leisure company guys it would typically be me that led the pitch and then darren actually did
00:48:34did the work so i got wheeled out as kind of like the queen like i would be the honorary citizen that
00:48:38kind of did the did the sell and then darren actually like did the grinding when it came to the the
00:48:43numbers one of the things i did was try to protect myself and the person that was working because i
00:48:51didn't want to resent them i didn't want to resent this leisure company owner so part way through sort of
00:48:55hey guys look before we get started i just wanted to say i know that we're a young company
00:48:59but i think that our results speak for ourselves we don't need i don't want you to discount what we
00:49:08can do simply because we're young i have a lot of respect for you and what you've achieved in the
00:49:13industry you can look at our track record and it's very stellar i'm going to treat you with the level of
00:49:20respect that i think you want to and i expect that back like going in and saying something to the
00:49:27something similar to that at least in my experience called out the elephant in the room i know i'm young
00:49:33but i'm great at what i do i'm going to respect you i expect you to respect me back it's like huh
00:49:39this kid's that was like a kind of risky thing to say i like that if someone came and said that to me
00:49:45i'd be like i like that he's standing on principle he knows his worth he understands that he's young
00:49:51but he also is prepared to call it out so that there's no unspoken
00:49:56going on in the background that helps also just being really competent there's a book by uh cal
00:50:02newport called so good they can't ignore you be so good that they can't ignore you be so good that
00:50:07they can't disrespect you is a solution but dude honestly until you're kind of the first change i
00:50:14think is probably about 24 24 25 and then the next one is 30 for guys 19 you are going to really be
00:50:22fighting against the tide and 26 27 28 like you're still doing it once you get past 30 i think it's
00:50:27kind of all the same um so aging in some ways is good because it means that you've got way more respect
00:50:33um i feel for you keep on grinding and yeah call it out if you feel it it's like hey guys
00:50:40i'm noticing i'm feeling a little bit of tension in the room i know that i'm young but look at what i
00:50:47can do i'm i'm really showing up here to in a professional manner to try and prove to you exactly
00:50:54what i can do i expect the same from you maybe at least for me i found that that was effective so
00:51:00godspeed fat phobic why so many ad reads in every episode
00:51:12dude i i get it i understand i understand if you're locked in on a conversation and i come in and go in
00:51:23other news this episode is brought to you but i understand that it might be an inconvenience for a
00:51:28minute but dude i just put three of the biggest podcasters in the world in the same room for three
00:51:35hours and there's four minutes of ads out of 180 like if that is that is that unacceptable is that
00:51:45really too high of a price to pay to receive three episodes a week completely free i i i'm really trying
00:51:55here i'm trying to give this criticism as much of a steel man as possible i understand that it's probably
00:52:03it's it's probably annoying you're locked in you don't want to hear about whatever it is that i'm
00:52:06talking about right but dude i the lights needs to be kept on like when for instance episode 1000
00:52:13mcconaughey built rebuilt the house from interstellar in unreal engine five and then bucked out this huge
00:52:21video wall and then built practical sets and got an air stream and reversed the thing in there
00:52:26and then had to get mcconaughey and then had to edit it and all the rest of it we lost i lost so much
00:52:31money on that one production it's insane i didn't make it back on that one or on that one in the next
00:52:38one or on that one in the next one and the one after i don't know how long it took me to make that
00:52:41money back i i can't describe to you the level of entitlement that it feels like for someone to say
00:52:51it's not worth four minutes of ads that are free and skippable for me to be able to enjoy that content
00:53:00like it feels it feels unfair like parasocial relationships feel sometimes on the internet a lot
00:53:07more entitled than my real social relationships none of my friends have ever said dude if i can
00:53:12i love you man but i need you to those ad reads that you know they're really getting to me no one's
00:53:17ever said that but i i'm trying i try to make them interesting i really do we we didn't use scripts
00:53:23like i'm doing comedy bits we're writing like little jokes and stuff i'm really really trying to make
00:53:28them as engaging as possible i only work with partners that i care about and i whose products i use
00:53:32i'm really really going for it and i'm sorry i'm sorry if it's a if it's genuinely a big deal
00:53:40i am sorry but
00:53:45what like you want this is not easy this studio was so expensive and i'm trying i'm trying i think
00:53:54i'm adding value i think i'm trying to do different different things and not just mail it in i'm sorry
00:54:00there's four minutes of ads per episode but it's not going to change so if you don't like it you
00:54:04you're just you're simply going to have to go somewhere else and i apologize you might not
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00:55:09that's eightsleep.com/modernwisdom and modernwisdom at checkout
00:55:15appalachian cucujan red god who are you praying pierce will spare who do you think is marked for death
00:55:31i think it's mustang i think it's mustang for the people who don't know what we're talking
00:55:36like what the fuck is this he's speaking in code um red god is the final book in the red rising
00:55:42series by pierce brown someone or a number of people pierce is kind of well known for killing
00:55:49off favorite characters especially when you don't expect it kind of and again he was unceremoniously
00:55:54in the same way i launched this studio without any fanfare he just kills off people's favorite
00:55:58characters like that and doesn't complain about it doesn't apologize about it um i did have a call
00:56:03with pierce at the start of this year and that was pretty revealing because i said
00:56:09how are you getting on and he said i'm having i'm having an existential crisis because whoever i
00:56:17kill i can't bring back he can't retcon this series right you can't oh actually it was she was wearing
00:56:24res flesh on her face and it was in an antechamber that kept her alive secretly they they took this
00:56:30special venom that dropped her heart rate to below perceptible level like you can't you can't bring
00:56:34them back and i think the the most brutally unromantic way to round out the series would be for darrow
00:56:46to win but for him to lose his wife again that's what i think would be like oh
00:56:54fuck so unsatisfying and so it would just be a legendary way to do it now it's a high-risk
00:57:01strategy because it is by definition it's very unsatisfying um darrow dying feels a bit cliche
00:57:08severo dying is rough but just not it's not got the gut punch of a mother dying and darrow losing his
00:57:18wife again so that's my money my money's on mustang i really do not envy pierce's job or any i mean
00:57:27look at um patrick rothfuss right with the name of the wind third book he's been it's been what 10
00:57:35years 12 years or something since the second one came out in the trilogy and it's a battle between
00:57:40him and george rr martin for who will write their next book last i feel for fiction writers who've got
00:57:49to try and bring a story into land because this is going to get canonized it's going to be turned into
00:57:53a movie like oh fuck anyway that's what i think is going to happen ah castle would the geopolitical
00:58:02climate be different if harambe was still alive dude yes yes bring back harambe man i ben lamb that's
00:58:12bringing back the woolly mammoth and the saber-toothed tiger and the dodo bird at colossus colossal the
00:58:21bioengineering genetics thing the first animal that should be brought back is not the woolly mammoth
00:58:25it's harambe i genuinely feel like he was the hero that we needed not the one that we wanted
00:58:35and the middle east is 100 fixed with harambe i think russia is a little bit less likely to be fixed
00:58:41i don't think that russians would have listened to harambe in the same way that the middle eastens
00:58:44would have done but still as an ambassador to the un as a consummate professional and as
00:58:52the voice of a generation i think harambe is i miss him i miss him jake c winter what are the tops and
00:59:03sides numbers for the buzz so i'm growing this back here i'm gonna put this as a time capsule i'm
00:59:11cementing this when my hair is another inch long and the comments of what the is happening with that perm
00:59:20come in this is my hair after not being cut for two three months on the top and the back
00:59:30it's not a perm okay it's not it this is what my hair does when it grows that's my first thing when i
00:59:39have got the buzz it is two two and a half two on the sides two and a half on the top like moderate fade
00:59:47here on like on the sides on the upsides that's it it's simple now the problem with two two and a half
00:59:54is that you need to go back to keep it neat you need to go back probably every two and a half weeks
01:00:00at least at the pace that my hair grows three weeks starting to look messy three and a half weeks you're
01:00:05like fucking hell and then by four for me my hair doesn't get longer you might have curly hair too jake
01:00:12it my hair gets bigger it's like a it's like an expanding planet or something my head doesn't get
01:00:17longer it gets bigger and that means that leaving it too long doesn't make it look all tousley and he's
01:00:24so cool and sexy it looks like i don't care about myself a lot uh so two two and a half i would go
01:00:33one and a half two if you want a bit more longevity in it and that'll probably get you to three weeks
01:00:38uh but that's it that's how it is james j19 are we going to get an in-depth tour of the new studio
01:00:46i know i know i should do it i should just film something i have this thing where i want it to be
01:00:51perfect i want the studio to be perfect and the the tree that's behind me you might not be able to tell
01:00:56it's a tree but we got this custom tree from singapore like custom designed and it had these
01:01:01shelves on it was the perfect size to fit in the arch behind me in the studio and that that hadn't
01:01:08arrived and there was just a normal set of shelves and then we got that in and then we made some other
01:01:11changes and now we've got more light tubes coming in so a couple more manipulations can happen i'm like
01:01:18i just wanted to do it once it was perfect and then i wanted to get i wanted to record it and explain
01:01:22everything and going you know the whole studio is so high tech and we've got loads of cool that we've
01:01:28done and i i i just didn't get around to it and also i've been trying to rip the show too like
01:01:33bringing on these episodes these multi-guest episodes are really hard to do like thinking
01:01:39about playing calendar tetris with one in-demand person try and multiply that by two more it's so hard
01:01:47and mine it's so hard um but yes in-depth studio tour will come at some point once we get the final final
01:01:56little touches in and it'll be there and i'm sorry that i haven't done it sweet
01:02:04sweet chungus do you ever worry that within the self-help space you've already covered the 80 20 of
01:02:09what really matters and you now risk drifting into productive procrastination searching for some hidden
01:02:13insight that doesn't actually exist and the more you try to improve or keep learning the more it just
01:02:19circles back to your mantra just do the thing dude i this is i think this is touching on
01:02:27what i was saying at the very start which is
01:02:32there is a degree of grind slop exhaustion on the internet at the moment and go back to the first 400
01:02:40episodes i did on the show david allen who created the most legendary productivity process of all time
01:02:47gtd right getting things done peter c brown the guy that wrote the book make it stick talking about the
01:02:52ebbing house forgetting curve and spaced repetition and flashcards for memory like so much of the low
01:02:59hanging fruit the important stuff was recorded on this podcast before anybody listened before anyone
01:03:06listen i think 350 episodes in we had 100k subs 450 we had 250 and now it's another what 700 episodes so we're
01:03:2230 of the way to where we are now and we had done less than 10 of the subs that we were ever going to do
01:03:31overall
01:03:34it's like
01:03:38what i'm trying to do i'm trying to make this as fun as possible i'm trying to make it engaging
01:03:43i'm not trying to repeat myself i don't want to have the same guest on or the same topic talked
01:03:48about like how many times do we need to do an episode about the optimal cold dark quiet approach
01:03:57for your bedroom how many times do we need to talk about don't do caffeine after 6 pm right it's just
01:04:03i'm conscious of this and i'm purposefully trying to find people who are new and interesting dude we did
01:04:10two hours on the life of julius caesar
01:04:14nothing to take away from that like no you don't need no notes you did there wasn't a morning routine
01:04:18that you could have taken away from julius caesar just sit back and enjoy interesting learning but in
01:04:26entertainment just chill enjoy that and i that's the vibe that i'm feeling at the moment i'm still
01:04:33trying to make progress i'm still big on the the emotions thing the tapping in
01:04:41the understanding yourself stuff but yeah productive procrastination is real that there is an answer
01:04:46out there that something new is what's most important as opposed to just drilling the basics that being said
01:04:59given that so much of the stuff that i said on the pod that was really really important and
01:05:03informative to me was basically before anybody listened maybe i do need to actually run some of
01:05:08that stuff back it's going to be really hard to bring david allen back on again eight years after
01:05:13i had him for the first time and just do the same episode but given that no one was listening back
01:05:18then and lots of people listen now i don't know maybe that is something that i need to do to revisit it
01:05:23all i'm trying to do is follow my instincts with the show my instincts at the moment are telling me
01:05:27have fun hang with the guys talk about stuff that's interesting don't fall into politics slop just
01:05:36reaction content adversarial like online argument bullshit don't try to find something that's novel
01:05:45simply for the sake of it being novel and so that there is a degree of oh this is new that the
01:05:51the strategy that you don't understand unless it genuinely warrants that um and maybe we need to
01:05:56redrill the basics maybe i need to do that i mean it's it's chronically unsexy to do it it's incredibly
01:06:03unattractive and does risk you being accused of we've heard this before it's like well if you've heard
01:06:08it before why aren't you implementing it if you've heard everything about sleep why does your sleep still
01:06:13suck if you already know the 80 20 if i've covered the 80 20 i've covered the 100 zero
01:06:19why does your sleep still suck well it's because you're not doing it and maybe you need to be
01:06:23reminded of it more or maybe i need to do recap episodes i don't know i i understand what you mean
01:06:27and and i'm actively trying to avoid adding unnecessarily to grind slop and creating this
01:06:33sense of people don't feel enough the only way that i can be enough is if i'm permanently pushing myself
01:06:40nose to the grindstone as hard as possible and optimizing areas of my life that don't matter that much
01:06:45trying to contribute trying to give people a varied diet when it comes to this and you know if i want
01:06:50to go back over old stuff i will do and if i want to try and have somebody on to discuss something
01:06:54because i've kind of forgotten my sleep started to suck a little bit and i'm like okay it matt walker
01:06:59spin you back up let's do the greatest hits maybe i'll do that too but i'm conscious of what you're
01:07:04saying and it's an accurate insight i am i'm i'm with you i'm with you jared you ever considered that
01:07:11you might have a drinking problem i don't consider a lot chris well you drank an entire case of
01:07:17athletic brewing co last night but they're non-alcoholic and that's not a problem sorry
01:07:23man i i just kept chugging wait for the regret to creep in never happened see most people like jared
01:07:31don't want to change what they drink they just don't want the next day to be a complete write-off
01:07:35and that is why i'm such a huge fan of athletic brewing coke they make the best na brews on the planet
01:07:44you can find athletic brewing co's best-selling lineup at grocery or liquor stores near you or
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01:08:03modern wisdom and modern wisdom at checkout near beer terms and conditions apply athletic
01:08:07brewing company fit for all times bottoms up
01:08:16jclemo dude love your work thank you i've been a listener since 2020 i have one pretty important
01:08:22question that you are well qualified to answer would bringing back carnage traffic light parties
01:08:28solve the declining birth rate
01:08:33i mean it's got a shot it's got a shot because we've tried we tried everything uh hungry
01:08:44taxes for mothers i could be tax tax breaks for mothers that that didn't work
01:08:52i think it's got a shot look for the people that don't know carnage was a t-shirt bar crawl that i
01:08:57ran for a long time it's the first franchise that i owned in the uk when i was running nightclubs
01:09:01and you wear a sticker green sticker on you means good to go uh orange sticker means thinking about
01:09:10it i'm not sure and a red sticker means i'm taken right so like single considering it taken and uh
01:09:17it just meant that you didn't ever go up to somebody that didn't want to have someone go up to them like
01:09:23you could even put a red one on you and i just don't i don't want to hook up tonight or whatever
01:09:26uh it's going to require an awful lot of people to do carnage traffic light party i mean we did
01:09:34lots those bar crawls were huge like thousands and thousands of people per night to make a dent in
01:09:41the birth rate we might need to scale it up but i'm prepared to go back if that fixes the birth
01:09:46right i'm prepared to go back into the world of nightlife promo that being said we'd be cancelled
01:09:54within days within days if the sort of that used to happen on carnage was to happen again now with
01:10:00camera phones it would it would not last two seconds but it's a good idea
01:10:06air rack pzaffi one best books that one must read dude i have two reading lists of 100 bucks
01:10:15and it pops up two minutes into every single episode on youtube in the top corner and it's in
01:10:21the show notes of every episode and i talk about it on my story and it's my only link in bio on instagram
01:10:27please go and download the list of 100 books that you should read before you die and 100 more books that
01:10:32you should read before you die chriswillx.com books and chriswillx.com more books there's five at the top
01:10:39of each that are like oh those are the must reads you have to read these and then there's 95 more
01:10:43that are cool and some of them are fiction and some of them are non-fiction real life stories and i've
01:10:47written descriptions about why i like them and and links to go and buy them and and it's available
01:10:53online and i can't believe that you've managed to slalom through my content and miss it that's a me
01:11:00problem i obviously need to work harder at shoving this down your throats so there you go chris will
01:11:06chriswillx.com books m hala 78 i would love to hear your thoughts on alcohol i see in your
01:11:14latest video that alcohol is a part of your life in the past you've been a strong advocate of the
01:11:18benefits of not drinking that's true yes i i went sober for a good while i did a thousand days sober i
01:11:27did a bunch of six months sobers starting about a decade ago it doesn't sound very revolutionary now
01:11:33but back in the day when i did that as a nightclub promoter in his 20s that was that was
01:11:40fucking unheard of right especially being in newcastle which is kind of the capital of drinking
01:11:45in the uk and it was really beneficial and i made a lot of progress and then i did a video
01:11:52about what i learned from a thousand days not drinking and it was super helpful that being said
01:11:57anybody who says the alcohol can't make a night out better hasn't had a good enough night out
01:12:03like it absolutely can improve your experience the problem i had was when it felt like i was obliged to
01:12:10do it or like i wouldn't i couldn't have a good night if i didn't do it and i didn't like that i didn't
01:12:17like being at the mercy of some that's the same reason i did a thousand days sorry i did 500 days without
01:12:22caffeine because i didn't like the idea that i didn't have control over my energy levels without
01:12:32needing to artificially inseminate it with something else and i had i was on tour right around australia
01:12:44new zealand and bali i'm gonna have a beer i'm gonna have two beers after i finish i'm gonna have a corona
01:12:48i'm gonna celebrate with the guys i was in nashville for the fourth of july two years ago like 100 000
01:12:54people on broadway the whole streets closed down there's a drone show and fireworks and a
01:12:58orchestral band playing i'm gonna have a beer
01:13:03you can make a night out better like that the problem is when you don't have control over it
01:13:07and it wasn't even i didn't have control i did have control i just knew that it was limiting
01:13:11the progress that i was making because i was hanging out of my ass once every two weeks
01:13:16and that would mean that my diet got reset and i wasn't training for you know three days
01:13:21slowly get back up fourth day training session kind of sucks and then maybe i'll do some
01:13:24meditation i'll journal and then i'm back up to speed and just as i'm back up to speed
01:13:28i reset back to the baseline so a lot of people the progress that you're looking for is at the
01:13:33bottom of the glass that you're drinking
01:13:41it's not a part of my life i think i drank 10 times 20 times last year i'll have drank 20 times so
01:13:48far this year and we're halfway through the year and it's two beers um i'm still a strong advocate of
01:13:53the benefits of not drinking but i'm not like an absolutist on it either
01:13:59paul bishop 5999 what happened to the merch right here look at this
01:14:06this
01:14:10uh we've got a lot of new designs interestingly sleep token is a band they wear masks pseudonymous
01:14:16or anonymous people don't supposedly don't know who they are are quite hard to work out who it is
01:14:21their designer for the merch which is awesome significantly easier to work out who it is so
01:14:26anyway the merch is coming soon uh we've got the final samples coming back i'm
01:14:32very obsessed about everything comte met met variant uh but i'm particularly obsessive about the merch
01:14:39because mailing it in and doing shitty merch to me is a real touchpoint between what i've built with
01:14:46modern wisdom which has taken eight over eight years and a thousand episodes and you guys and if you get
01:14:53a piece of merch that falls apart after a few washes or that's got print quality or that isn't a cool
01:14:59design or is a bad fit that is that tarnishes your relationship with me and your interpretation of
01:15:07the brand so much i just i it really makes me feel quite ill to think about that so i spent a long
01:15:16time working on the designs we're actually changing the blanks from the first release which were great
01:15:20and everybody loved but we were using comfort colors cc 1717s and now we're moving to
01:15:28the as color stencil minus twos and the reason for that is i wanted a slightly deeper black
01:15:39like this is sort of brushed um which always gives it a bit of a weathered feel which is nice
01:15:43and it's a tiny bit oversized which i also like but i actually wanted something that's just a little
01:15:48bit more fitted so it's a bit more flattering on the arms and is a deeper black because i think
01:15:53it's going to let the designs pop a bit more so this is actually on the comfort colors and then
01:15:57we're going to we've got the final samples coming back on the as colors the stencil minus two is
01:16:02important because as color for me fits too long and for most people i think it fits too long so we've
01:16:06got i limited the colors and like so much that i'm just so many hoops i'm jumping through rounds and
01:16:12rounds and rounds of amends but we've got the next two drops done so once we've got this locked in
01:16:19we won't need to wait the first one was in november or october or november and then this one is going
01:16:27to be in june or something so i get it it's frustrating i wanted the merch out sooner but the
01:16:34only reason that we're waiting is because i want it to be perfect and i i hope that that comes across
01:16:38and i'm trying hard and i'm working hard so that's it
01:16:45bob zilla 2006 would you ever consider doing more episodes related to astronomy and physics i
01:16:50really enjoy the episode you did with professor david kipping and would love to see him come on
01:16:53to the show again as well as other guests within that area of study love the show and congrats on
01:16:584.2 million thank you very much i love astronomy and physics i dumped some nerd astronomy knowledge
01:17:04on george on one of our most recent episodes no idea if it's true but i think i was right with it um
01:17:11i'm trying to do this neil degrasse roundtable which makes me so excited the prospect of neil
01:17:19degrasse tyson and mark normand in the same room is it's wonderful uh i spoke to uh david a couple
01:17:30of weeks ago i texted him after the artemis thing because i knew he was involved in something behind
01:17:33the scenes and congratulated him that was cool i want to bring him on i i i'm not sure who's good
01:17:41in the world of physics and astronomy at the moment sabina hossenfeld has been on twice michi
01:17:45okaku came on wasn't impressed with that episode particularly um who else obviously eric weinstein
01:17:53but it's not just going to be astronomy physics i don't know i don't know who's cool in the up and
01:17:59coming communication space so if you've got suggestions throw them in the comments i'll check
01:18:02them out um i i love that it's space and astronomy is a huge part of my uh love for learning so i'm
01:18:10down i'm down christoph 8188 ask before we'll ask again i like it uh can we get a two to three monthly
01:18:18q a instead not linked to subs yeah i understand the unpredictability is frustrating uh also sometimes
01:18:28i hit the subs number and i can't get around to recording because of the schedule until i mean this
01:18:33one is going out i don't know what the number of subs is but it's probably closer to 2.3 than sorry to
01:18:414.3 than 4.2 uh sorry i understand if we just did them regularly that would be easier
01:18:53yes maybe that would be nice i just it's been what we've always done i was doing it every
01:18:5910 000 then every 50 000 then every 100 000 uh alternatively if you want them more frequently
01:19:05just get your friends to subscribe get your friend make sure that you're subscribed and
01:19:09you'll get them more quickly grab your girlfriend's phone quickly subscribe that's
01:19:13for me that seems like the the easiest solution i will try and speed them up i want to do more solo
01:19:17stuff uh i've got this beautiful new studio i might as well stand in it and talk about stuff so
01:19:24i'll try and i'll try and make it happen more quickly i promise
01:19:28payton bill below dough below below d below do lonely chapter until financial freedom or some
01:19:35large level of success or semi lonely chapter with some drinking and maybe a goal to enjoy my youth
01:19:41is it simply a matter of going pro and reaping pro level results or semi-pro and being content with
01:19:46semi-pro results yet actually doing things outside of the pro level activity hope that makes sense
01:19:52cheers if you if you haven't listened to this podcast much
01:20:03that sentence sounds like the ravings of an insane person like that is uh
01:20:11that is i understand what you mean and i i'm just going to assume that everyone who's listening
01:20:16understands what you mean uh but that is the most modern wisdom pilled sentence that i've ever read
01:20:24so congratulations you get you get question of the you get question of the video i'll start
01:20:29doing that now well i'll have a question of the episode and that is question of the episode because
01:20:32it is so deeply entrenched in the law of modern wisdom um lonely chapter until financial freedom or some
01:20:43large level of success so do you want to lock in until you've basically reached escape velocity
01:20:48with success and or financial freedom or go focused on work with a little bit of time off to enjoy
01:20:55drinking and maybe a goal to have some fun in your youth do you go pro and get the pro results quickly
01:21:01or semi-pro and be content with getting fewer results but actually enjoying stuff depends on your age dude if
01:21:07you're 19 i don't think that locking in super aggressively is where you need to be i think
01:21:13that having some fun is is perfectly acceptable i think as you start to get look at me like just
01:21:18creating arbitrary rules about the age that you need to begin to do stuff at you can do stuff whenever
01:21:22you want but at least if i was to create a prescription if i was gun to my head you have to create one
01:21:28i think up to about the age of 24 25 you're probably not going to see much divergence between you and your
01:21:34friends based on how much you've locked in but you will look back and have a big difference on how
01:21:42much fun you had especially if you're already talking about you're going semi-pro or semi-lonely
01:21:47chapter stuff like locking in quite a bit but also giving yourself a bit of a break i think that's good
01:21:53then contrarian opinion i think that you can really fucking grind it 26 27 through mid 30s that is a good
01:22:03period that is a great period you've got past the issues of low respect because you're you're a young
01:22:09guy so the world's not really going to listen to you as much as it will do when you're a little bit
01:22:13older and you've got a bit of momentum and you've got some experience so you can fully lock like
01:22:19really really capitalize on it and use some leverage if i was you i would try and follow something like
01:22:25that um but there needs to be a period of real monk moding in my experience i don't think you can always
01:22:30semi-pro it there's a period where you need to go pro because otherwise you're going to be beaten by
01:22:35people who are prepared to go pro and it doesn't it's not about being better than other people or
01:22:39whatever but if you want to if you want to reach some degree of escape velocity with success or financial
01:22:48freedom which are the two things that you brought up i think that you need to have you need to have a
01:22:53period where you're very obsessive and really really locked in pick when you want to do it my advice
01:22:58would be to go mid late 20s through early 30s that worked really well for me uh and other than that
01:23:06have some fun that's my that's my that's my thinking peter fisk 6598 will you be chatting to finn and
01:23:14horatio again i hope so uh they're definitely not both going to be leaving the uk at the same time
01:23:20and i'm kind of locked in here however i've got the tour around the uk and ireland in october and i'll
01:23:27probably try and bring them on then which would be fun because i'll be in london i'll have some time
01:23:31off around about that uh we had vittorio on who's one of the writers of internet and has been
01:23:36been on history a bunch and that was fun he was out here recording uh no doing live tour doing his
01:23:45stand-up uh i love finn horatio i think finn versus history is one of the best podcasts on the internet
01:23:51at the moment i think it's kind of quintessentially british i wonder how much it's broken through
01:23:55into america i would imagine only a little but i might be wrong uh they're great i think they're
01:24:02ascendant and i'm i'm really happy to have been a part of that journey for them or whatever for me
01:24:09like it's fun to see those guys unfold everything the episode we did of finn versus the internet i
01:24:15think is i think it's the most played one that they've ever done and it was
01:24:22deranged it was like
01:24:25fucking an out-of-body experience to do but also a lot of fun and i learned tons seeing those guys
01:24:31operate and they just enjoy they're having a good time they're having a good time and that's what i'm
01:24:36trying to do we're having we're trying to have a good time on the show and uh i support them and i'll
01:24:44be bringing them back on as soon as i can an american jedi chris when the heck are you getting a dog
01:24:50i just this is part of big golden trying to this is the the the multi-pronged assault of big golden
01:24:59convincing me to buy a dog i want a fucking dog okay i want a dog i'm clamoring i'm clucking i don't know
01:25:10whether the americans will get that reference like clucking for it i'm sorry i haven't got one yet i
01:25:16will do soon and he or she will live in the studio with me and be a regular feature there can be a raised
01:25:22dog bed behind me during the episodes and it will light light it perfectly it's this beautiful golden
01:25:30glow behind you get the you know the 4k camera zoomed in on the fur just you are going to be so
01:25:37fucking sick of me talking about my dog the fact that you're trying to get me to speed run getting
01:25:40the dog i can guarantee you that you are going to be so pissed at the fact i won't shut up about
01:25:46it once i've got it enjoy this time enjoy pre-dog chris also enjoy pre-kids chris
01:25:52right because once i'm in on that you had better be ready for two years of child rearing pediatrics
01:26:01episodes okay i just we're in the before times right bd before dog big dick
01:26:13uh all right i'm gonna leave it there i love you all thank you so much for supporting me uh it means
01:26:17an awful lot don't forget to subscribe apple podcasts spotify youtube chris
01:26:22chriswilliamson.live to come and see me on tour in australia no in the uk and ireland toward the
01:26:27back end of this year newtonic.com slash modern wisdom if you want to check out some of this stuff
01:26:31and chriswillx.com slash books if you want to get a list of books i appreciate you thank
01:26:36Thank you for supporting me.
01:26:37I'll see you next time.
01:26:39See you.
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