00:00:00Hello everybody, welcome back to the show.
00:00:02I had a haircut and hit 4.1 million subscribers, so let's get into it.
00:00:08Oh, actually before I get into it, it's nearly Valentine's Day
00:00:11and I put together a list of 50 of the most evidence-based
00:00:14and viral questions on the internet and from my journal
00:00:16to connect more deeply with your partner,
00:00:18and 25 to work out whether or not you should break up.
00:00:22And this has been breaking people's brains on Instagram.
00:00:25The DM replies I've got to some of the samples of the questions are insane.
00:00:28So if you want a list of 50 questions, connect with your partner
00:00:31and 25 to work out whether or not you should break up quietly on your own.
00:00:34Go to ChrisWillX.com/Valentine.
00:00:38Okay, now let's get into it.
00:00:40Olex26.
00:00:43What uncomfortable questions should people ask themselves before going for success?
00:00:49I think a really great question that almost no one asks is,
00:00:53do I want to live the lifestyle required to get the life?
00:00:58So for instance, if you love the idea of being a rock star,
00:01:02you want to be a guitarist that tours the world,
00:01:04well, what does that look like?
00:01:05What does the lifestyle of that look like?
00:01:07It looks like 10 years probably playing in your bedroom,
00:01:10learning chords and progressions and then learning to song write.
00:01:13It looks like another five in a van touring around,
00:01:18making basically no money with a ton of uncertainty and very little support.
00:01:22And then maybe you start to pick up that, that is the lifestyle.
00:01:25And even after that, it's, do you want to be away from your family?
00:01:28If you want to have a family, friends, community, whatever,
00:01:32you're going to be traveling the world a lot.
00:01:34You're going to be spending most of your time in airports or on buses.
00:01:37Is that what you want?
00:01:39If you do not want to live the lifestyle,
00:01:42you have to release yourself of the desire.
00:01:44Whatever your definition of success is,
00:01:46the uncomfortable question you should ask before going for success,
00:01:48what is your definition of success and what is the route to get there?
00:01:52If you do not want to endure the route to get there,
00:01:54you have to relinquish yourself of the desire for the success
00:01:57because otherwise it is just guaranteeing misery, right?
00:02:00I want this thing, but I don't want to do what is required to get there
00:02:03or what is required on route to get there or to live that thing.
00:02:05It's going to be misery inducing to me.
00:02:09That seems like a pretty reliable way to have a shitty life.
00:02:11So that's a good question.
00:02:15Isabel Van Aswegen.
00:02:18Fuck. Every time, dude, with these fucking usernames.
00:02:25I'll do my best.
00:02:27Isabel Van Aswegen.
00:02:29Have you ever tried the carnivore diet?
00:02:31Yes, I did.
00:02:32I guess a version of the carnivore diet, which is meat and fruit.
00:02:34And I did that for pretty fucking strictly from September 24 until April of last year.
00:02:44So over six months.
00:02:46I felt great mentally on it.
00:02:48This is when I was going through a lot of brain fog,
00:02:49still trying to detox all of the mold and felt mentally good,
00:02:54but it annihilated my cholesterol.
00:02:57My cholesterol just went through the roof.
00:02:59Lots of people are hyper-absorbers of cholesterol or they're more sensitive to it.
00:03:04Turns out I'm one of those people.
00:03:05So the carnivore diet kind of has a lot of people pray at the altar of it
00:03:11because it makes them feel better, including me,
00:03:13but it can be pretty destructive to some of the important numbers
00:03:16and heart health and keeping an eye on LDL levels and stuff is pretty important.
00:03:20So tried it, was okay with it, took some of the principles of it,
00:03:24but back to a kind of intermittent fasting thing,
00:03:28like a 16/8, nothing until 1 p.m. or midday
00:03:32and then eat through the afternoon.
00:03:33That's the current approach, a bit more balanced.
00:03:36Tommy Cochran 7156.
00:03:42Hey Chris, congrats on your success.
00:03:44Thank you.
00:03:44Been subbed for three years now.
00:03:46I just turned 25 years old and moved out on my own
00:03:49to another state in April of last year to start my career.
00:03:51I'm doing fine at the job,
00:03:52but it does not bring me any joy or satisfaction
00:03:55that I thought it would.
00:03:56I spent a few years working towards this,
00:03:58but I know the career is not for me.
00:03:59Feel kind of lost now.
00:04:00I'm not sure what my direction is or how to find it.
00:04:03I never thought I would be in this situation.
00:04:05Any advice?
00:04:06Thank you.
00:04:08Well, dudes, that's a real challenge
00:04:11to have dedicated a bunch of time toward a thing
00:04:15that you thought was going to be
00:04:16the genuine outcome that you wanted
00:04:18and then to have the rug pulled out from underneath you.
00:04:21That's a challenge.
00:04:22So first off, I feel for you
00:04:23and I think that it's important to just sit with
00:04:26that is hard and to give yourself
00:04:28a little bit of self empathy.
00:04:30Like, oh God, like that's gonna suck.
00:04:32Advice on, I mean, you're 25,
00:04:38which means you have so much runway ahead of you.
00:04:41You can go and travel.
00:04:42You can try different things.
00:04:43You could go back to school if you wanted to.
00:04:45I'm aware that this is the oldest you've ever been,
00:04:48which feels like you should have your life together.
00:04:50You're real close to death.
00:04:52You should be further along than this.
00:04:54There's other people that are your age.
00:04:56How can I start again?
00:04:58To give you some perspective, I started again
00:05:01and I didn't launch the podcast until I was 30
00:05:05and I didn't move to America until I was 32 and not 33.
00:05:16It is just never too late.
00:05:20First off, people have got short memories.
00:05:23Everybody has short memories, including you.
00:05:26You will be surprised at how little you would be able
00:05:28to remember of you a couple of years ago.
00:05:31If you made a huge pivot now, in two years time,
00:05:34you wouldn't be able to remember this doubt
00:05:36or this life that you had
00:05:37because our recency bias is really strong.
00:05:39And the second thing,
00:05:40if you're worried about the judgment of others,
00:05:41they're just not thinking about you that much.
00:05:43They don't care, they really don't care.
00:05:45There might be some people who stand on the shoulders
00:05:49of your reinvention, as in they're still moving
00:05:52and you're having to start again.
00:05:53But it's not about that.
00:05:55You know that you're not happy.
00:05:56It doesn't bring you any joy or satisfaction
00:05:59that you thought it would.
00:06:00And you spent a few years.
00:06:01It's some cost fallacy and some loss aversion.
00:06:04It is gonna hurt and it's gonna resonate emotionally.
00:06:07It's gonna feel like your world's crashing down
00:06:08or you've wasted time.
00:06:12You know that you're not happy with this thing.
00:06:13And if you're succeeding in a life that you hate,
00:06:17imagine how amazing you could be at one that you loved.
00:06:20You literally have nothing to lose.
00:06:21You go and do something else
00:06:23and it also doesn't bring you any joy or satisfaction.
00:06:26Guess what?
00:06:27You're in the same situation.
00:06:28So I hope that motivates you to go and do it.
00:06:31Something practical you can do,
00:06:34what is the single smallest step that you could make right now
00:06:37that moves you a tiny...
00:06:40What's the smallest thing that the most afraid version
00:06:43of you could do that would move you away from this life
00:06:47and toward one that you want?
00:06:48I think that would be something good to focus on.
00:06:51evil89, what did you make of the response
00:06:54to your last health vlog?
00:06:56Good question.
00:06:57So I did a first episode of the vlog
00:07:01about four months ago or so.
00:07:04And that was tracking the journey over 18 months
00:07:07of me finding out I was living in a house with mold
00:07:10and that kicked off a whole slew of other things
00:07:13that everyone has this sort of ambient background,
00:07:17health, immune system strain that everybody's got going on.
00:07:22But sometimes you get into an environment
00:07:25where it pushes you over your limit
00:07:26and that is where all of this stuff comes to the surface.
00:07:29What was interesting about the second vlog
00:07:31was that I didn't put any of the,
00:07:35here's me struggling with this thing.
00:07:37Here is all of the evidence that proves
00:07:39that my health is actually in a bad place.
00:07:42Here is testimony from doctors and friends
00:07:45about how much I've been going through.
00:07:46And because the internet defaults to scrutiny,
00:07:50as in if someone looks okay on the outside,
00:07:52that means that anything that they're proposing
00:07:55or anything that they're going through,
00:07:56they're complaining about just sounds like the whining
00:07:59of some really fortuitous chattering class.
00:08:02I didn't get anywhere near as much sympathy.
00:08:04I don't want to have to do this weird
00:08:07throat-clearing land acknowledgement of myself,
00:08:10of my own problems in an attempt
00:08:13to try and ramp up the sympathy
00:08:15so that I can then talk about how I'm still working on it.
00:08:17It just feels so fucking contrived to do that.
00:08:20So it wasn't quite as sympathetic as I might've wanted,
00:08:25but I understand why it wasn't.
00:08:28If people haven't seen the first one,
00:08:29it's just some guy that looks like he's in good shape
00:08:32saying that he's tired and sad
00:08:36and his brain doesn't work all that much.
00:08:38I was surprised by the number of people
00:08:40that said that's just getting older.
00:08:42This is the way that it's supposed to be.
00:08:44That feels a little bit like Stockholm syndrome
00:08:46for bad health, that your tormentor,
00:08:49you've learned to love the fact
00:08:51that your health is declining at a rate
00:08:53greater than you would want to.
00:08:54And you're just saying that is what life is.
00:08:57I'm sorry, I just don't accept
00:09:00that you're supposed to get slower, sadder,
00:09:03and more stupid as you get older in your 30s.
00:09:06And to all of the people that have reached out
00:09:10with chronic fatigue, ME/CFS, CMV,
00:09:15EBV, mold, slime, H. pylori, candida,
00:09:19SIBO, heavy metals, BPAs, whatever it is,
00:09:22a lot of people have reached out
00:09:23and they feel like they've been seen
00:09:26by someone who's going through the same challenges they do,
00:09:29especially the mold stuff.
00:09:30So that has been really nice.
00:09:32Other stuff that surprised me was the range of solutions.
00:09:35It was every, a lot of you need Jesus, which may be true.
00:09:40I'm unsure how much he can help with mold detox,
00:09:42but a lot of I need Jesus or prayer.
00:09:46I need to do psychedelics, heavy dose of mushrooms.
00:09:51I'm working too hard and it's burnout,
00:09:55but I'm also a hypochondriac
00:09:58and it's nothing to do with anything that's real.
00:10:02This is opulence,
00:10:04but also because of trying to achieve too much
00:10:07at the same time.
00:10:09Goat milk cleanses were in there quite a bit.
00:10:11Water fasts were in there a lot.
00:10:13A lot of meat and fruit and carnivore diet.
00:10:15There's something about blood at the full moon,
00:10:18I think, as well.
00:10:20There were a lot.
00:10:22There were a lot of, so there was some enemas in there.
00:10:25Some bleach stuff that I can't even remember the name of.
00:10:32It was a variety of solutions.
00:10:34It was a mixed bag.
00:10:35It was a mixed bag, but I'm gonna keep talking about it
00:10:37because I think it's important and it's the truth.
00:10:40Ultimately, this is what I'm going through.
00:10:43So the internet will continue to make their judgments,
00:10:46I suppose.
00:10:47Nurse K28, what's in store for 2026?
00:10:50First off is tour.
00:10:53So I'm going to Australia, New Zealand and Bali
00:10:56in four weeks, five weeks.
00:11:00And Brisbane's sold out, Perth's sold out.
00:11:03There's still tickets for Adelaide, Auckland, Christchurch,
00:11:08Sydney, Melbourne and Bali.
00:11:13And you can get those at chriswilliamson.live.
00:11:16Just announced yesterday, the UK and Ireland tour,
00:11:20which you can also get tickets for at chriswilliamson.live.
00:11:22We're going all over the UK and Ireland and maybe Germany.
00:11:25I'm not sure yet.
00:11:26So live is a big thing.
00:11:29The new studio, which is going to be super exciting.
00:11:31That's going to include a ton of different episode styles
00:11:35that I've been really looking forward to.
00:11:36Studio has been pushed back three times now
00:11:41because I keep making changes to it.
00:11:45So that might be a me problem.
00:11:47I think it's probably a me problem.
00:11:49Well, this is in store.
00:11:50More merch, more Mostly Wise stuff,
00:11:53which I'm really excited we're working on at the moment.
00:11:55We are actually working with
00:11:57the designer for sleep token stuff.
00:11:59So the guy who does all of sleep tokens much,
00:12:02I managed to schweth an intro.
00:12:05I finessed an intro to him.
00:12:07So some of the early designs that we're seeing
00:12:10are fucking outrageous.
00:12:11It's so cool.
00:12:12I'm really excited for that.
00:12:14That'll be good.
00:12:14Book, I'm starting to think a bit more seriously about,
00:12:20but I know living with George at the moment
00:12:23and he's working on his high agency book,
00:12:25the amount of dedication and the size of the context window
00:12:27he's working with.
00:12:28And this is a lesson for everybody,
00:12:29which is if you want to do one large piece of work very well,
00:12:34an album, a thesis, a book,
00:12:40a collection of anything
00:12:42that's sort of a multi-month project,
00:12:44you really can't be trying to do other stuff at the same time.
00:12:48So in order for me to do that,
00:12:49I would need to make some changes internally in the podcast
00:12:53so that all I need to do is read for the book
00:12:57and write the book, prep for the guests,
00:12:59record the episodes and fuck off
00:13:01'cause I can't be doing anything else.
00:13:03And for all that it might look like a big operation
00:13:06from the outside, this is still very much founder mode,
00:13:09startup, spit and sawdust and caffeine energy
00:13:13stuff going on internally.
00:13:14So that's some live tour, Australia, New Zealand and Bali,
00:13:19then UK and Ireland at the back end of the year,
00:13:21chriswilliamson.live.
00:13:22If you want to get tickets there, it'd be awesome.
00:13:24New studio, new episode styles, which I can't wait for.
00:13:29I've been planning this for so long.
00:13:31And it does feel a lot like if you've ever been
00:13:35in one of those long distance texting flirtation
00:13:38relationships for ages and it's been three months
00:13:41and you're finally about to get to meet this person,
00:13:45those memes that you see on Instagram
00:13:46that are like when you actually did all of the shit
00:13:48that you said you were going to do to each other,
00:13:50that's me, but with the new studio.
00:13:52So can't wait to totally bypass all the foreplay.
00:13:56Ah, visto, it's like ah, visto.
00:14:02Thinking about quitting drinking, is it worth it?
00:14:03I currently have a day job and run a business on the side.
00:14:06So every day is 18 hours of working,
00:14:08not an office run business, needs labor.
00:14:10And every time I get occasionally drunk,
00:14:13it affects or nearly stops my enthusiasm and motivation
00:14:16for three to seven days.
00:14:17But also every time I get new opportunities
00:14:20and insights from customers or partners
00:14:22who I'm drinking with, doesn't also seem socially correct
00:14:26to get together sober, brackets, from Finland.
00:14:30Well, 18 hours of working every day is,
00:14:35that's really, really serious.
00:14:36That is no fucking small task, dude.
00:14:39Is it worth it?
00:14:41Yes, 100%.
00:14:43I think you would be very surprised
00:14:45at how much you can retain the opportunities and insights
00:14:50from customers and partners that you're drinking with
00:14:52without drinking.
00:14:53First off, if it's a really big deal,
00:14:55you can get a low or no beer, Heineken double zero.
00:15:00Guinness do a good 0% now.
00:15:03Peroni do a good 0%.
00:15:05There's loads of lapping beers
00:15:07where you can pretend like you're drinking
00:15:08and you're not actually.
00:15:10Doesn't seem socially correct to get together sober.
00:15:15I would be very cautious about outsourcing
00:15:17the way that you live your life to the mean.
00:15:21If you regress back to the mean,
00:15:22you get the results that everybody else gets.
00:15:24And the average American,
00:15:26I don't know about the average Finn,
00:15:27but the average American is obese, divorced,
00:15:30and has less than 1K in the bank.
00:15:32So following the path that everybody else follows
00:15:35sounds like outsourcing your wisdom to the crowd,
00:15:39but it's actually a reliable route to a life
00:15:42that you almost certainly don't want.
00:15:44So I don't think that whether it's socially correct or not,
00:15:49that should be your litmus test for how you should behave.
00:15:53I think you should do it.
00:15:56I think you should commit.
00:15:57I think it's very important to commit
00:15:58for a period of time.
00:16:01Six months is my advised minimum.
00:16:07All of the heavy lifting occurs in the first sort of 60 days.
00:16:10And after that, it gets easier.
00:16:12But if you only do it for 30 or 90 days,
00:16:16you pay all of the price upfront,
00:16:18and then you don't actually get to reap any of the benefits.
00:16:21I would wager that if you do it,
00:16:23you take a break for six months,
00:16:24you're not gonna wanna go back to drinking for very long,
00:16:26or at least that's what happened for me.
00:16:28Alex Boy Vibes.
00:16:30See, that one's easy.
00:16:31I like your mindset.
00:16:32Even when you're in tough places,
00:16:34you seem to have a good vibe.
00:16:35How?
00:16:39Fuck it, I did not feel like I had a good vibe last year.
00:16:432025 was the hardest year of my life, by far.
00:16:47And maybe I appropriately
00:16:51fugazied.
00:16:54Yeah, I think I was pretty open about it.
00:16:56Maybe it just comes across differently,
00:16:58but I felt like shit.
00:17:00It was really, really difficult.
00:17:02Emotionally, it was difficult.
00:17:03Professionally, it was difficult.
00:17:04Personally, it was difficult in terms of my health,
00:17:06my energy, my mood, my cognition.
00:17:09It was really, really tough.
00:17:13I try to put on, and have tried to put on,
00:17:15my sort of best face and put my best foot forward.
00:17:20For you guys, I wanna be a professional.
00:17:22I wanna show up authentically,
00:17:24so I'm not pretending that I'm in a place that I'm not.
00:17:27But also, everybody's busy,
00:17:31including the guest that is giving me their time,
00:17:34who is usually a world expert
00:17:35in whatever I'm speaking to them about.
00:17:37And there's millions of people every single day
00:17:40that are tuning into the show.
00:17:41I should fucking tie my boots tight and do the job well.
00:17:48So maybe I've put a brave face on it
00:17:49that hasn't come across.
00:17:51But no, I haven't, I haven't.
00:17:55I've cried more in the last year
00:17:57than probably in the previous two decades.
00:18:02It's not been easy.
00:18:04It's really, really been challenging.
00:18:07And if that helps to make your low mood in a tough place
00:18:12feel more justified, then I would consider that a success.
00:18:20The stuff that does help to keep me in a good vibe
00:18:23is honestly, I fucking wish he wasn't right about this.
00:18:27I really wish he wasn't right about this.
00:18:29Huben is so bang on when he says,
00:18:31"Just get 15 minutes of sunlight in your eyes."
00:18:34It is, it is so fucking true.
00:18:38I've been using these Ayo glasses, they're called Ayo, A-Y-O.
00:18:43I don't know what the website is.
00:18:45I've been wearing them.
00:18:46They're kind of like light therapy panel,
00:18:48but you wear them above your eyes.
00:18:50They look really fucking dorky.
00:18:53I've been wearing them
00:18:55because I've been getting up before the sun.
00:18:57That's been good.
00:18:58Sunlight, first thing in the morning.
00:18:59Avoiding caffeine, interestingly.
00:19:02I've been using the Nutonic Sachets and the capsules
00:19:04as opposed to the RTD.
00:19:06So I took a break from caffeine.
00:19:08I've actually increased the vegetables that I'm consuming
00:19:11and avoided oxalates.
00:19:12So stuff like spinach that it seems doesn't agree with me,
00:19:15even though I love it.
00:19:16Psychology is biology, man.
00:19:20Train, see friends, drink water, move, lots of walks.
00:19:23Don't spend too much time doom scrolling.
00:19:27But yeah, I wasn't in a good vibe really at all last year.
00:19:32And I don't know, maybe you can see now.
00:19:36I don't know whether it's coming across in this episode,
00:19:37but my brain is finally fucking working.
00:19:41Like, oh my God, it was so long last year
00:19:46that I was like holding this fucking microphone,
00:19:50trying to make words come out of my mouth
00:19:54in a way that felt even remotely close to me.
00:19:59And it just did not want to happen.
00:20:01And it was so tough.
00:20:02And it was just, I missed me.
00:20:04I missed the person that I was,
00:20:06the way that I, the quality of my thoughts,
00:20:09my ability to reflect on things and make progress for myself
00:20:14and to improve the show.
00:20:15And it really felt like I'd sort of treaded water
00:20:19for 18 months up until not that long ago.
00:20:24So the fact that I feel at least remotely close to me now
00:20:28is like, that is really a good vibe.
00:20:31So today is a bad example of me not feeling good
00:20:36because I actually feel pretty good.
00:20:38Before we continue, I am a massive fan
00:20:40of reducing your alcohol intake,
00:20:42but historically non-alcoholic brews taste like ass.
00:20:46You don't need to be doing some big reset.
00:20:49Maybe you just want to crack a cold one
00:20:51without feeling like garbage the next morning,
00:20:54which is why I am such a huge fan of Athletic Brewing Co.
00:20:57They've got 50 types of NAs,
00:20:59including IPAs, Goldens, and even limited releases
00:21:02like a cocktail inspired Paloma and Moscow Mule.
00:21:05And here's the thing, you can drink them anytime.
00:21:08Late nights, early mornings, watching sports, playing sports.
00:21:11It doesn't matter.
00:21:12No hangover, no compromise.
00:21:13And that is why I partnered with them.
00:21:15You can find Athletic Brewing Co's best selling lineup
00:21:18at grocery or liquor stores near you or best option,
00:21:21get a full variety pack of four flavors
00:21:23shipped right to your door.
00:21:24Right now, you can get 15% off your first online order
00:21:26by going to the link in the description below
00:21:29or heading to athleticbrewing.com/modernwisdom.
00:21:32That's athleticbrewing.com/modernwisdom.
00:21:36Adichandra08, do you feel that the academic system failed you?
00:21:42Did it fail me?
00:21:50To be honest, I think I failed myself or I failed it
00:21:54because I was scared that I couldn't see a direct path
00:21:59from the subject I really wanted to learn,
00:22:03which would philosophy and psychology to a career.
00:22:05I didn't know what a professional philosopher
00:22:07would look like.
00:22:08I was so sheltered.
00:22:09I was so retarded when I went to university
00:22:11or when I was picking my courses at university.
00:22:15And I just thought, well, obviously
00:22:16that's not gonna lead to a career.
00:22:17So I have to do business
00:22:19'cause business is the most careery thing that you can do
00:22:21'cause everything is a business.
00:22:23So I picked wrong and then a decade later
00:22:27basically created my own curriculum on my timeline
00:22:32only talking about the specific area of specific subjects
00:22:38I wanted to with world experts with no homework
00:22:41and then made it into a job.
00:22:42So if this is my repurposed academia, then that's great.
00:22:48What are the things that I loved about it?
00:22:49I loved learning how to negotiate
00:22:53all of the stuff outside of the course.
00:22:56Friendships, houses, tenancy agreements, electricity bills,
00:23:00makeups and breakups and that stuff.
00:23:04I did two degrees.
00:23:07I did five years at uni and I can't remember any of it.
00:23:11And yet, if you gave me the choice,
00:23:12I would go back and do it again.
00:23:14I understand lots of people.
00:23:16The formal education system's done.
00:23:18You don't need a degree to go and do the whatever.
00:23:20And I agree with you, but I wouldn't be where I am
00:23:22if it wasn't for university and not because of the course,
00:23:25but because of everything around it.
00:23:27And maybe there is a way that you can get the benefits
00:23:29of being at university without having to pay the cost
00:23:32or do the course.
00:23:33But I get the sense it's just easier to go to university.
00:23:36So I'm still contrarian as it may be.
00:23:39I'm still pro higher education.
00:23:41Pierre Dollys.
00:23:47Thank you for sharing your health journey, Chris.
00:23:48What advice has powered you through your toughest days?
00:23:51If given the opportunity, what advice or thoughts
00:23:53would you share with the 100% healthy version of Chris?
00:23:57Fuck, I mean, it is hard, especially when,
00:24:03and this is one of the big problems for anybody with ME/CFS
00:24:07or mold or limey stuff.
00:24:09Outwardly, there is no presentation of you being ill.
00:24:14And on the inside, all that you feel is sickness.
00:24:16So if my hand didn't work, but I had a broken arm,
00:24:21I would be able to show people,
00:24:24well, look at the broken arm.
00:24:25This is why part of my function has been taken away from me.
00:24:29And that would engender sympathy and understanding.
00:24:34And it would also help me to legitimize
00:24:38why stuff isn't going well.
00:24:40But when everything's internal,
00:24:42and you can see all of the blood work that you want to go,
00:24:45holy fuck, that is 400% greater than the upper bound
00:24:50of what this particular part of your immune system
00:24:53is supposed to be able to deal with.
00:24:56Wow, but it's arbitrary, it's metrics on a screen.
00:25:00Maybe I should just work harder.
00:25:01David Goggins would get through it.
00:25:03The advice that's powered me through my toughest days,
00:25:06honestly, is just the choice right now
00:25:10is between staying where I am or keeping going to get better.
00:25:14And I am just not going to quit.
00:25:20I'm never, ever, ever going to settle.
00:25:22I'm never, ever, ever going to stop.
00:25:24I would much sooner die trying to feel better
00:25:30than survive letting entropy win.
00:25:36Like that is the whole game, right?
00:25:39We locally reverse entropy.
00:25:41That's what humans do.
00:25:42The entire universe trying to break apart order.
00:25:46And for a brief eight decade window,
00:25:52one little corner of the universe, you resist that entropy.
00:25:56The single most powerful onward marching driver
00:26:01of the entire universe versus you.
00:26:09It is unlikely odds for all of us,
00:26:14but I really like the scrap in a weird way.
00:26:20And yeah, I would much sooner keep on pushing than give up.
00:26:25And that's hard because it feels like giving up
00:26:34becomes an option that you could take
00:26:36and you would not need to get your hopes up so much.
00:26:40I just don't want to settle.
00:26:42I think that's a good way to summarize it.
00:26:45I really, really, really do not want to fucking settle.
00:26:48And that's going to cause some pain and some disappointment
00:26:54in a lot of areas of life, but it's cool.
00:26:58I think I'll look back on a life where I didn't settle
00:27:01and feel like I left it all on the field of play,
00:27:05significantly more.
00:27:08Karen M6511, Tom Brady gave you a shout out today.
00:27:13Well, that's nice.
00:27:15He works with a company, hydrogen water company, Echo,
00:27:19that I'm a fan of.
00:27:21And I think he works with, I swear he's just about to sign
00:27:26with somebody else as well that I work with.
00:27:30So I have no idea what this is.
00:27:32I have no idea what he said, but someone link me below.
00:27:36That would be cool to see.
00:27:38He's a go, he's fantastic.
00:27:40Mattis1665, hey Chris, do you plan on interviewing
00:27:45bigger rock metal artists like Vessel, Bruce Springsteen,
00:27:50Ollie Sykes, Corey Taylor, Elton John, Caleb Showmo,
00:27:54Angus Young, James Hetfield, et cetera.
00:27:56Would love to hear you ask them about touring, mental health,
00:27:59balance in the music business and much more.
00:28:00I fucking love your episode with Jon Bellion, Under Earth,
00:28:03and I prevail.
00:28:04And I'm really interested in hearing their perspectives
00:28:06on these topics, best regards.
00:28:08So Ollie and me have been talking about doing an episode
00:28:11for, since I started the pod.
00:28:15Corey Taylor, I just got looped in with.
00:28:17Caleb, yes, but that'll be after the new
00:28:21Bare Tooth album drops.
00:28:22We've talked about that too.
00:28:23So yeah, I'm trying to lean in.
00:28:26Me and Ronnie Radke have been chatting.
00:28:28Who the fuck else is in my inbox?
00:28:31There's a few others, a few of the musicians.
00:28:34I really like it, that rock and metal scene
00:28:38has been a huge part of my life since I was a kid.
00:28:41And now I get to sit down and ask people whose music
00:28:46I've listened to for hundreds of hours,
00:28:49fucking cool questions.
00:28:50So I really, I'm really glad that you like it.
00:28:53Also in the new studio, the guys from USORA and Drumeo
00:28:57are hooking us up with the ability
00:29:00to record live performances.
00:29:01It's not gonna be like what they can do,
00:29:03but we'll be able to record studio quality guitar
00:29:06and keys and vocals.
00:29:09So I'm gonna try and twist Bellian's nipple a little bit
00:29:14and get him to start shipping me some of his boys through.
00:29:18'Cause he's working with everybody.
00:29:20And who knows who'll come and do a little performance
00:29:25on the pod over the next couple of years.
00:29:27I'm excited for it.
00:29:29Yynxster9829, will the merch return?
00:29:34Please, please, please bring it back.
00:29:37I missed it and I don't know if he responded
00:29:39to a question like this before.
00:29:40Yeah, I'm sorry.
00:29:41It is pretty fucking cool.
00:29:46Yes, of course.
00:29:47We are doing a new drop in March, March, April time.
00:29:52Currently working through all of the designs right now
00:29:55with the Sleep Token guy.
00:29:57And the goal is to get to, I don't know,
00:30:01three drops a year, something like that.
00:30:02Or a quarterly thing.
00:30:03I think quarterly might feel a little bit quick.
00:30:06Whatever pace people want new stuff at.
00:30:09And I guess I need it 'cause it's all I wear now,
00:30:11which is cool.
00:30:12It is really, really nice to be able to wear my own brand.
00:30:15And I haven't seen it in the wild at all yet
00:30:18when it hasn't just been a friend that I've given it to.
00:30:20But I guess I need to sell more in order for that to happen.
00:30:23That being said, we did thousands and thousands
00:30:26and thousands of pieces on the first one.
00:30:27So it'll be back, it'll be soon.
00:30:29We're gonna come up with a solution
00:30:30to try and do shipping directly inside of the UK
00:30:33to get over the shipping costs.
00:30:34For the Australia tour, we've got limited much for that,
00:30:38like limited edition stuff
00:30:39that should be done inside of Australia.
00:30:41Trying to come up with global shipping, all the rest of it.
00:30:43Fucking nightmare.
00:30:44Says the guy that wants to write a book.
00:30:47I'll get around to it eventually.
00:30:512004 Jones.
00:30:53I'm currently dealing with health problems similar to yours.
00:30:56I've been finally diagnosed
00:30:57after over 10 years of debilitating fatigue and anxiety
00:31:00with Lyme and two strains of Babesia and lead poisoning.
00:31:03I'd love to hear more about your journey to get better.
00:31:05I really enjoy your videos,
00:31:06but especially the ones you did about your health.
00:31:08It speaks to me a lot.
00:31:09Thank you, Chris.
00:31:10You're the best.
00:31:11Yeah, Will.
00:31:14I'm sorry that you're going through that 10 years
00:31:18of being tired and battling something that you can't see
00:31:21and nobody can see and you will have doubted
00:31:26every single day, whether or not it's real
00:31:27or it's just in your head.
00:31:28And people will have said, you know,
00:31:29maybe you need to do CBT or ACT therapy.
00:31:32Maybe it's psychosomatic or you're a hypochondriac.
00:31:34Maybe it's your anxiety.
00:31:35Maybe it's whatever.
00:31:36And then you see something that legitimates it.
00:31:38And that in some ways is reassuring
00:31:42because it makes you seem a little bit less crazy.
00:31:44Everything about the journey is tracked in those docs.
00:31:49Dude, there is nothing else that I'm doing.
00:31:51Right now, my goal is working on my nervous system
00:31:54to just retrain it that life can be safe
00:31:57and that I have capacity to deal with challenges that come.
00:32:01But I'll keep on recording it and putting it out there
00:32:06and being accused of just working too hard
00:32:11or not working hard enough or all of the menstrual blood
00:32:15at the full moon sacrifice or the goat milk
00:32:17or the fucking psychedelics.
00:32:18I'm gonna keep doing it, Will.
00:32:21So hold on.
00:32:22A quick aside, do you remember learning
00:32:24about the mighty mitochondria back in grade school?
00:32:27Here's a quick refresher.
00:32:28It's the tiny engine inside of your cells
00:32:30that powers everything you do.
00:32:31But here's what they didn't teach you.
00:32:33As you age, your mitochondria break down.
00:32:36That's what can cause you to feel tired more often,
00:32:39take longer to recover and wake up feeling
00:32:41like you're never fully recharged,
00:32:43no matter how long you sleep.
00:32:44I started taking Timeline nearly two years ago
00:32:48because it is the best product on the market
00:32:50for mitochondrial health.
00:32:51And that is why I partnered with them.
00:32:53Timeline is the number one doctor recommended
00:32:56urolithin A supplement with a compound called Mitopure.
00:32:59Basically it helps your body clear out damaged mitochondria
00:33:03and replace them with new ones.
00:33:04Mitopure is backed by over 15 years of research,
00:33:07over 50 patents and nearly a dozen human clinical trials.
00:33:10It was recommended to me by my doctor.
00:33:12And that is why I've used it for so long
00:33:13since way before I knew who even made the product.
00:33:16And best of all, there's a 30 day money back guarantee
00:33:19plus free shipping in the US
00:33:21and they ship internationally.
00:33:22So right now you can get a free sample
00:33:24or get up to 20% off by going to the link
00:33:27in the description below
00:33:28or heading to timeline.com/modernwisdom.
00:33:31That's timeline.com/modernwisdom.
00:33:36Steph K.E.
00:33:39Why do you think the dating scene is so bad in Australia?
00:33:43Finding a husband is impossible.
00:33:49I have no idea
00:33:50about what the dating scene is like in Australia.
00:33:52I guess I'm gonna go and be there in six weeks.
00:33:55So I will scrutinize.
00:33:58I would be talking out of my ass.
00:34:00I think the world would be a better place
00:34:03if people more often said,
00:34:04"I don't have an opinion on that."
00:34:06And unfortunately this is one of those times.
00:34:08The dating scene being everywhere,
00:34:10I don't know why it's specifically,
00:34:12here's something that I can say, okay.
00:34:14I don't think that it's an Australia problem.
00:34:16I think it's a modern West problem.
00:34:21So Australia in the West, whatever.
00:34:22Kind of, kind of the opposite.
00:34:26I think everybody is struggling at the moment.
00:34:29Shifting sands underneath everyone's feet
00:34:33about what's expected from both men and women,
00:34:36how to navigate this world, mismatch,
00:34:38coupling, vitality curve, socioeconomic, tall girl problem.
00:34:44All of these things, they are not small road bumps
00:34:48to get over, they're fucking massive.
00:34:50It's much more like the wall
00:34:52between America and fucking Mexico.
00:34:54You're not alone in struggling in the current dating market.
00:35:01Especially if you're the sort of girl
00:35:03who listens to this podcast,
00:35:05you're probably educated, maybe higher educated,
00:35:08maybe post-grad educated.
00:35:11You're probably earning at least a little bit of money.
00:35:13You're driven, you're reflected.
00:35:16Your standards for yourself are quite high
00:35:18if you're into the sort of stuff
00:35:19that we talk about on the show,
00:35:20which probably means that you have high standards
00:35:24for a partner, or at least you want to be able
00:35:26to emotionally connect or intellectually connect in a way.
00:35:29That's a weird kind of standard.
00:35:32And it's one that the internet doesn't talk about that much.
00:35:34'Cause they can talk about, you know, six feet tall,
00:35:36six pack, six figures.
00:35:42I think a lot of people are struggling
00:35:44with just finding someone
00:35:45that they can really deeply emotionally connect with.
00:35:47And they want to feel like their partner is someone
00:35:51who's on their level emotionally and intellectually.
00:35:56Dating is just one big, long conversation.
00:36:00And if you're struggling to find people
00:36:03that are into the stuff that you're into,
00:36:05because the same way as if you had a very refined palette,
00:36:08you wouldn't be able to eat in quite so many restaurants
00:36:10because your standards are a little bit higher.
00:36:12The same thing is true for relating
00:36:14and connecting to other people.
00:36:15And it's very different.
00:36:17I don't see many people talking about,
00:36:18well, what you should do is put up
00:36:20with less of a level of connection with your partner.
00:36:22You go, well, fuck, if I've done five years of therapy
00:36:25and a thousand sessions of meditation,
00:36:27and I've really regulated my nervous system,
00:36:29or I'm curious about the world, or I love to learn,
00:36:32that's obviously important to you.
00:36:34And if you can't find a partner
00:36:35that is important to them too,
00:36:38it's always going to feel imbalanced.
00:36:39And that's a kind of a silent epidemic
00:36:43that no one's talking about,
00:36:45because the same as if you've got some chronic fatigue thing,
00:36:48it never appears on a balance sheet.
00:36:49Like, show me where it is on your Tinder profile.
00:36:52You just feel it, it's in a vibe.
00:36:54I think this is a challenge everywhere.
00:36:56There's a lot of structural reasons,
00:36:57there's a lot of objective reasons,
00:36:59and there's a lot of subjective reasons as well.
00:37:01Stick at it, because again,
00:37:04the choice is between giving up and staying where you are
00:37:09and keeping going.
00:37:10And things may be getting better.
00:37:12The choice seems pretty obvious to me.
00:37:14Tyler Raynot7326, "How do you approach hobbies
00:37:20outside of work?
00:37:21Any tips for not obsessing over skill
00:37:23when the initial goal was to have fun?"
00:37:25Dude, this is so good.
00:37:26So I have a friend, Justin Nault,
00:37:30and his coach gave him the task a few years ago
00:37:35of starting a hobby,
00:37:37but he wasn't allowed to try and get better at it.
00:37:40I think he started doing watercolors,
00:37:42some sort of painting or illustration.
00:37:44And as soon as he did it,
00:37:46he went and did a class maybe or sat down to do it.
00:37:49His type A overachiever brain kicked in
00:37:52and immediately said, right,
00:37:53well, I'm gonna go and watch YouTube videos
00:37:55so that I can get better at this.
00:37:56And I should research what the best watercolors are
00:37:59that I can buy online.
00:38:00And what's a specific type of brush that I need?
00:38:03And I bet there's different types of paper.
00:38:04And what I should do is I should really get a coach.
00:38:06Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:38:08The purpose of this thing was to just do the task,
00:38:13just to go through the experience
00:38:18without creating more homework
00:38:20and another barometer
00:38:22with which you can judge your worthiness
00:38:24or lack of worthiness.
00:38:25So I feel you.
00:38:29I had this with Pickleball
00:38:31and what was supposed to be a Tuesday evening
00:38:36and Thursday evening recreational pursuit
00:38:41turned into, well, Zane Navratil follows the show.
00:38:46So I should really get him to teach me how to do drills
00:38:48and a drop shot and all the rest of it.
00:38:49Yes, there is joy in getting better.
00:38:51But when that turns into a tormentor or a task master,
00:38:56one thing that you could try would be to do something
00:39:06in a group, so something where the performance
00:39:11or the outcome is a little bit more poorly defined.
00:39:14This would be a way to get around it.
00:39:16If you do Pickleball, you win or you lose at Pickleball.
00:39:20You win or you lose the point.
00:39:22You hit the net or you get the ball over the net.
00:39:24Something that's a little bit more difficult to define
00:39:26would be yoga or dance, salsa dancing
00:39:30or line dancing or something.
00:39:31Yeah, I mean, you can get the move or not get the move.
00:39:33You can look stupid or not look stupid,
00:39:35but it's just a spectrum of looking more or less stupid.
00:39:38And with yoga, there's a spectrum of it being more
00:39:41or less difficult.
00:39:42And that might be a good way around it to do things
00:39:45that have slightly less well-defined outcome goals.
00:39:50Well, you're speaking to the crowd here.
00:39:53I've done it myself with Pickleball.
00:39:55My friends have done it with watercolors.
00:39:57The overachiever mindset runs deep.
00:40:00Brown eyed girl B, where does one find a good man
00:40:04with moral values and ambition?
00:40:07He's rare in Australia.
00:40:08What the fuck is going on in Australia?
00:40:10This is two out of three questions about the dating scene.
00:40:15Maybe I was wrong.
00:40:15Maybe Australia's fucked.
00:40:17What's the birth rate in Australia?
00:40:20Chat GPT.
00:40:21Chat GPT, what is the birth rate?
00:40:24What is the birth rate in Australia?
00:40:32If this comes back at 0.4, what the fuck number is this?
00:40:371.4, okay, that's not great.
00:40:44And it's tracking the rest of the world,
00:40:47but 1.4 is not good.
00:40:501.4 rate, so 1.5, you can have that.
00:40:54Moral values, again, I feel like I'm doing a campaign
00:41:01either for or against Australia here.
00:41:02I'm either defending it or persecuting it.
00:41:05Good man with moral values and ambition.
00:41:07It's the same advice for every person who says,
00:41:11where do I find a person like dot, dot, dot?
00:41:14Think that you weren't doing this for yourself.
00:41:18Where do people like the people you want to date hang out?
00:41:23Where would they go?
00:41:25Moral values and ambition.
00:41:28Maybe at a Modern Wisdom Live event at chriswilliamson.live,
00:41:31maybe at a yoga class, maybe a meditation class,
00:41:35maybe at some sort of business mastermind or a conference,
00:41:38maybe in a library,
00:41:40maybe at some sort of run club or a meetup or something.
00:41:45Those are the kinds of places
00:41:47where people like the person that you want will hang out.
00:41:52Just go there.
00:41:53I'm amazed at how obvious this is.
00:41:58And that's not for me to say that people disregard it.
00:42:01It's just that they haven't thought about it.
00:42:03Like you're looking in places typically
00:42:06where these people don't hang out.
00:42:07So you're swiping through something with no pre-selection
00:42:09like Ryar or Tinder or Hinge,
00:42:11or you're going to bars and clubs
00:42:13because that's where people meet or something.
00:42:14Or you're doing it even at work.
00:42:16It's your work.
00:42:17Like does your work select for moral values and ambition?
00:42:20Maybe not.
00:42:21Fucking go to the places with people
00:42:23like the person you want to date.
00:42:25That's where you go.
00:42:26Ranjan Candle, 29, 24.
00:42:31Another congrats, Chris.
00:42:33Been thinking about this one for some time now.
00:42:35Do you have any tips on how to unattach
00:42:37or unlearn something or habits?
00:42:40It's a very abstract intention,
00:42:42but one I feel is very important for me to move forward.
00:42:44I cannot seem to come up with anything
00:42:46that I can put into action
00:42:47to directly influence my attachment
00:42:50with some habits and attributes of my life
00:42:52except for replacing certain things
00:42:54with focusing myself time into aspects of where I want to be
00:42:59and then go really deep,
00:43:00removing certain desires, which is extremely difficult.
00:43:02And he thought that is a fucking...
00:43:03Okay, unlearn habits.
00:43:05It is a hundred times harder to unlearn something
00:43:08than it is to learn something,
00:43:10which is why not accumulating bad habits
00:43:14is more of a priority than accumulating good ones.
00:43:18And there is no such thing as not drilling a habit.
00:43:21You are always learning a habit.
00:43:24It simply depends on what you're learning.
00:43:26In one version of the world, you wake up and go to the gym.
00:43:32And in another version of the world, you hit snooze.
00:43:34That is the habit of hitting snooze.
00:43:36There's no neutral habit, right?
00:43:39One version, you eat healthily.
00:43:42In another version, you eat neutrally, right?
00:43:45It's not unhealthily, but you eat neutrally.
00:43:47That is you drilling the neutral eating habit.
00:43:50It's not you not contributing to the habit thing.
00:43:54You have a conversation with your partner.
00:43:56This one is super regulated.
00:43:58This one is super shouty.
00:43:59And then you have one which is kind of a little bit detached.
00:44:02It's not super dysregulated, but it's not your best self.
00:44:05Any one of those is drilling more of that thing.
00:44:08So first off, unlearning habits is not a small task.
00:44:13Secondly, my current belief around this,
00:44:16I'm sure that there's a way
00:44:18to actively unlearn the habit, deprogramming stuff,
00:44:22maybe the NMDR thing that eye tracking shit,
00:44:27maybe that might work, NSDR.
00:44:31I get the sense that the best way
00:44:34is just to get a better habit,
00:44:36a stronger habit with deeper grooves cut into it.
00:44:39So I think about human behavior
00:44:41kind of like water moving through a landscape.
00:44:44And there is a path of least resistance
00:44:46that the water cuts through.
00:44:47And that is typically some combination of effort and pattern.
00:44:52So how hard or easy is this thing to do?
00:44:56Generally, independently of how much you've done it before
00:44:59and how much have you done it before.
00:45:02If something is, it is always going to be easier
00:45:04to stay in bed than it is to go to the gym.
00:45:06And if you have stayed in bed a lot,
00:45:08that groove is going to be cut more deeply.
00:45:11All that you need to do is build a groove
00:45:14which is even deeper than that.
00:45:15And unfortunately, that means doing the hard thing.
00:45:17That means applying a fucking ton of effort
00:45:19to rip this new habit off the launch pad,
00:45:22one inch at a time, and you're going to fail.
00:45:23The best rule for this is don't miss two days in a row
00:45:26because one day missed is a mistake,
00:45:28but two days missed is the start of a new habit.
00:45:30Set that rule.
00:45:31Don't miss two days in a row, do the new thing.
00:45:33And what is the opposite of the habit
00:45:35that you want to get rid of?
00:45:36If you don't want to scroll on your phone at night,
00:45:38the phone needs to be outside of your bedroom.
00:45:40And if you don't scroll on your phone at night,
00:45:43every single day that you put a repetition in
00:45:46where you don't do that is you drilling that habit.
00:45:48Now, will the old habit always be there
00:45:50lurking in the background
00:45:51like a monster hiding in the cupboard?
00:45:52Yeah, probably.
00:45:53And that is going to suck.
00:45:55But over a long enough amount of time,
00:45:57I get the sense that you can drill those grooves so deep
00:46:01that even if the other one has some patterns
00:46:03and objectively is easier to do,
00:46:06it's the most seductive, low friction one,
00:46:09I still think that you can beat it
00:46:10by just building new habits.
00:46:11So honestly, unlearning for me
00:46:14is all about relearning, basically,
00:46:17or overwriting what it was that you did previously
00:46:21with something new.
00:46:22I'm yet to find a way to unlearn anything
00:46:25that doesn't involve doing something else instead.
00:46:28This episode is brought to you by Gymshark.
00:46:31You want to look and feel good when you're in the gym.
00:46:34Gymshark makes the best men's and girls' gym wear
00:46:37on the planet.
00:46:38Let's face it, the more that you like your gym kit,
00:46:41the more likely you are to train.
00:46:43Their hybrid training shorts for men
00:46:44are the best men's shorts on the planet.
00:46:47Their crest hoodie and light gray mall
00:46:49is what I fly in every single time I'm on a plane.
00:46:51The Geo Seamless T-shirt is a staple in the gym for me.
00:46:54Basically everything they make.
00:46:55It's unbelievably well fitted, high quality, it's cheap.
00:46:57You get 30 days of free returns, global shipping,
00:46:59and a 10% discount site-wide.
00:47:01If you go to the link in the description below
00:47:03or head to gym.sh/modernwisdom,
00:47:05use the code modernwisdom10 at checkout.
00:47:07That's gym.sh/modernwisdom and modernwisdom10 at checkout.
00:47:12The Big Lad Podcast.
00:47:15What do you see wrong in the hustle culture,
00:47:17especially coming from the podcast space?
00:47:19Yeah, man, I mean, I have not become,
00:47:23I'm definitely not flavor of the month with that world.
00:47:28The fuck your feelings just work harder thing.
00:47:36I don't know whether there's been anyone
00:47:39who's done more of a rail against it
00:47:42over the last 12 months than me.
00:47:44So many of the episodes that I've done
00:47:47are me trying to show the importance of emotion
00:47:52and connection and resonance with what you're doing
00:47:59as opposed to just working until your eyes bleed.
00:48:02Now, the problem with this is
00:48:04if you're somebody who has gone through the ringer
00:48:07and come out the other side speaking to people
00:48:10who for the most part, which is almost everybody,
00:48:12are still on their grind,
00:48:14it sounds an awful lot like me talking from an ivory tower
00:48:18about how basically pulling the ladder
00:48:20of hard work up after me.
00:48:22And that's a really difficult tight rope to walk.
00:48:24And it's one that I've realized I essentially can't do.
00:48:28I can't tell people to work less hard.
00:48:30What I can do is say,
00:48:31"Hey, this is a place that I think you're going to get to
00:48:34during this journey that you're on."
00:48:38Or at least it's one that I got to.
00:48:39What do I see is wrong in hustle culture
00:48:43coming from the podcast space?
00:48:44It is a total disregard of how you feel
00:48:47over a long period of time.
00:48:50Ignoring how you feel is super powerful
00:48:54and literally a superpower.
00:49:00But presumably the reason that you're working hard
00:49:03is eventually to get to a state where you feel good.
00:49:07And if you start to reach escape velocity
00:49:13from all of the work that you did
00:49:16and from needing to do the work
00:49:17and you're still tormenting yourself
00:49:19to never actually connect with your emotions
00:49:24and to not slow down if your body tells you to slow down,
00:49:26to not enjoy it if your body tells you to enjoy it,
00:49:29you will become very successful and very miserable.
00:49:34What is your definition of success?
00:49:37Mine is not to look back
00:49:40on a series of miserable successes.
00:49:42So that's one of them.
00:49:44There's quite a few more.
00:49:46I think unfortunately there is a transactional nature
00:49:51to a lot of the friendships that are kind of proposed.
00:49:59You're supposed to only hang with people
00:50:01for as long as they're of service to you or useful to you,
00:50:03even if they're useful in contrast or in sort of regulation.
00:50:07Should you be with people that make you feel good
00:50:10and are energy inflows?
00:50:11Yeah, absolutely.
00:50:11But speaking as someone who's spent two decades networking,
00:50:16hardcore networking, which I never talk about,
00:50:20but my entire last life was that,
00:50:22and the only way that a podcast grows
00:50:24is by you getting yourself into the right rooms
00:50:26and for the right people to know you.
00:50:29Treating people like commodities
00:50:32that you trade and trade up and get in with and ignore,
00:50:36and it does not go well.
00:50:38It will not go well.
00:50:39So those are two issues.
00:50:41Brad Cooper, 1343.
00:50:44After listening to your recent episode,
00:50:45I found myself grappling with a question
00:50:47that has occupied much of my thinking lately.
00:50:49How does one reconcile the tension
00:50:50between unfulfilled potential and contentment?
00:50:53As an ambitious 23 year old who has recently qualified
00:50:55in what society would deem a successful career,
00:50:58I find myself paradoxically dissatisfied
00:51:00despite these achievements.
00:51:01I recognize the harder work required for further advancement,
00:51:04yet I consistently defer it.
00:51:06I'm caught in a persistent internal conflict.
00:51:09I possess clarity about what's necessary to progress,
00:51:11yet I fail to execute.
00:51:13I find myself succumbing to procrastination
00:51:15and squandering time, all while maintaining
00:51:17an acute awareness of its irreplaceable value.
00:51:20This disconnect between my stated values
00:51:22and my actual behavior has become increasingly difficult
00:51:24to rationalize.
00:51:26That is question of the fucking day.
00:51:30Dude, congratulations, you win.
00:51:31Question of the Q&A.
00:51:34That is a wonderfully written question.
00:51:36So first off, you should try a career as a writer
00:51:38because that is beautiful.
00:51:40How do I reconcile the tension
00:51:41between unfulfilled potential and contentment?
00:51:44You're ambitious, you've qualified,
00:51:47you're dissatisfied with what you've achieved so far,
00:51:52you know that you need to work harder
00:51:53in order to advance further,
00:51:55and yet you're putting it off.
00:51:57There's conflict, you know what you need to do,
00:51:59yet you don't execute.
00:52:00You're procrastinating and squandering time
00:52:02whilst also feeling fear and pain
00:52:05at the fact that you've done it.
00:52:06It's irreplaceable, and the disconnect
00:52:07between your stated values and your actual behavior
00:52:09has become increasingly difficult to rationalize.
00:52:12This is one of the fucking perennial
00:52:14personal growth challenges.
00:52:17I've done something that's supposed to be really satisfying
00:52:20to me and yet I was objectively there
00:52:25and subjectively absent is a way
00:52:28that you could think about it.
00:52:30Holy shit, I did the thing.
00:52:32Hang on, why didn't I feel anything?
00:52:36Why are you looking around?
00:52:38Oh, that's, it's, more, I need more.
00:52:42It wasn't one gold medal.
00:52:45It was, I have to do it twice
00:52:47because I need to prove that it wasn't,
00:52:48ah, it wasn't two, it was, 'cause two, it's three.
00:52:52That is the human condition.
00:52:54The perpetual chase is the human condition.
00:52:57If you caught an animal or gathered some berries
00:53:01or protected your tribe once and were perfectly satisfied,
00:53:06you would be very dead very soon.
00:53:10First off, this is how you are wired.
00:53:13You are wired to always achieve more.
00:53:15If you're the sort of person who is a type A overachiever,
00:53:18like it sounds like you are, this is going to be even more.
00:53:22It's gonna be tuned up because in the modern world,
00:53:25you can make objective stuff which used to be subjective.
00:53:27We have quantified status in terms of followers,
00:53:30qualifications, we have quantified resources, it's money.
00:53:35And you can even compare it with somebody in China
00:53:37or Taiwan or England.
00:53:42The need to work harder with the deferment of it,
00:53:47to me, there's a little bit,
00:53:50there's two things going on.
00:53:53One is you're dissatisfied with what you've achieved.
00:53:56And the second thing is you want to work harder
00:53:59and you're upset that you're not.
00:54:01I get the sense that these two things might be linked.
00:54:04If you allowed yourself to celebrate your wins
00:54:08a little bit more, I feel like you would be motivated
00:54:10to go and achieve the next thing.
00:54:12But at the moment, you worked hard, achieved a thing,
00:54:17didn't feel satisfaction about it.
00:54:20And are now asking, why can't I make myself work harder
00:54:23to go and achieve a thing that is based on current evidence
00:54:26just going to make me miserable again or be unfulfilling?
00:54:29That doesn't seem to be the way,
00:54:32if you were training a dog,
00:54:34that wouldn't be the way that you trained the dog.
00:54:36It did something good, I didn't reward it.
00:54:38I'm trying to get it to do something else good.
00:54:40Why is it not listening to me?
00:54:42Well, you didn't ever reward it
00:54:45about the thing that it did first.
00:54:47So solutions for this,
00:54:49I can spew pithy fucking hormones aphorisms at you all day.
00:54:53The first thing, celebrate micro wins,
00:54:57especially with friends.
00:54:58If you've qualified in what society
00:55:01would deem as a successful career,
00:55:02did you go out and celebrate?
00:55:03Did you make a big deal out of it?
00:55:05Did you encourage your friends to make a big deal out of it?
00:55:07So it's Zack Telander's album launch party
00:55:10in a week and a half,
00:55:11and you should go and pre-save it on Spotify
00:55:13'cause it's fucking awesome, it rips.
00:55:15That is the day that I fly back from St. Louis,
00:55:21St. Louis, St. Louis.
00:55:23I'm going to throw him an album launch party.
00:55:26Maybe it's going to be at my house.
00:55:27Maybe I'll put it at a bar somewhere.
00:55:29I want to do that for him.
00:55:30I mean, that's obviously, his album launch is huge.
00:55:32But you, 23 year olds, you recently qualified in a career
00:55:35that society would deem as successful.
00:55:36Like that, you should be celebrating that.
00:55:38And the same thing goes for, you bought your first house,
00:55:41it's your birthday, you got a promotion, you made the sale.
00:55:45You didn't get, like just, there is no,
00:55:48as far as I can see, there is no achievement too small
00:55:51to be worthy of celebrating.
00:55:52And the threshold that we have to hit,
00:55:54we believe that we have to hit in order
00:55:55to say that we're going to celebrate about something,
00:55:57just keeps on being raised.
00:55:58And I think that that's bullshit.
00:55:59So the first thing, celebrate micro wins.
00:56:01Second thing, ask yourself, really,
00:56:04what is the price that I would need to pay
00:56:05in order to get to the next level?
00:56:06Like really, really ask yourself, what would that look like?
00:56:09And do you want it?
00:56:11Do you really, really want it?
00:56:13A much more difficult thing to face might be,
00:56:16well, maybe you don't want it that much.
00:56:18You recognize the harder work
00:56:19and yet you constantly defer it.
00:56:21Maybe you don't want it that much.
00:56:24And that's okay.
00:56:25You have worked really hard to get to the career
00:56:29and recently qualify.
00:56:30You've really sort of had to work aggressively.
00:56:35I don't think that it's you leaving things on the table.
00:56:38If you're able to work hard and you're only 23,
00:56:40something tells me that you've got a huge amount of runway
00:56:42to just keep on sending it,
00:56:44but maybe you're pointing in the wrong direction.
00:56:46And that's a really difficult question too.
00:56:48What was one of the first questions today?
00:56:51Somebody who doesn't feel like
00:56:53they're moving in the right direction.
00:56:55It feels like they did all of the things, got to the place
00:56:59and now maybe they don't want it anymore.
00:57:01That is a really difficult position to be in.
00:57:03It is way easier actually to say, I'm on the right path.
00:57:07I'm just too unmotivated than, oh fuck.
00:57:10I climbed up a ladder and it's against the wrong wall
00:57:13and I need to climb back down and start again.
00:57:15So ask yourself, do you really, really want it?
00:57:17If you do really genuinely 100% want it,
00:57:21not just because of loss aversion or fucking momentum
00:57:25or sunk cost fallacy.
00:57:26If you really, really want it,
00:57:28what are the steps required to get there?
00:57:31And then send it, like go for it.
00:57:34That's when you can actively say that you're being a pussy.
00:57:37You're being a pussy if you genuinely want something,
00:57:39you've got all of the capacity to go and get it
00:57:42and you're choosing not to because of a lack of resilience
00:57:45or laziness or whatever.
00:57:46But also if you're not allowing yourself
00:57:49to celebrate the wins along the way,
00:57:51what the fuck are you doing it for?
00:57:52Like, what's the point?
00:57:53How are you motivating yourself?
00:57:55So I love your question.
00:57:57It's a problem that a lot of people deal with.
00:57:59I think you need to pat yourself on the back more.
00:58:02Make sure that you're pointing in the right direction.
00:58:04And if so, take a fucking flame thrower to the candle
00:58:07and burn all of the ends of it.
00:58:09That's how I do it.
00:58:10Martin Lendes, questioning things, awareness of self
00:58:15and long-term conscious thinking seem rare.
00:58:17Why?
00:58:19Because they're hard.
00:58:20Because it's effortful.
00:58:25Because it is easier to hide in momentum
00:58:29and to outsource to the crowd.
00:58:32To rely on the paths that other people follow
00:58:37rather than having to determine your own.
00:58:39Awareness of self is terrifying
00:58:43because you regularly ask the question,
00:58:46what if I'm doing it wrong?
00:58:48That feels uncomfortable.
00:58:50It's much easier to continue down a path
00:58:53that is the wrong direction than it is to stop
00:58:57and ask about whether or not you're pointing
00:58:59in the wrong direction.
00:59:00I mean, it could be the same question as I just answered.
00:59:04The way that I see it,
00:59:09if you're the sort of person who asks the why question,
00:59:12you don't have a choice about whether or not
00:59:19your self-awareness is going to be there.
00:59:23It is going to be there.
00:59:25You really only have the choice about whether or not
00:59:28you're going to become friends with it.
00:59:29And given that it is going to be there forever,
00:59:34you might as well become friends with it.
00:59:36Genuinely, treat it like a welcome visitor in your house
00:59:41or like a couch that you can't get rid of or something.
00:59:44Okay, that is a fixture.
00:59:46The fact that I question,
00:59:47the fact I've got awareness of self,
00:59:49the fact that I have long-term conscious thinking,
00:59:52all right, that's a part of me.
00:59:53How can I use that to my advantage?
00:59:55And what are the areas in which it's no longer,
00:59:57or it should not be applicable?
01:00:00Unlearning things is a hundred times harder
01:00:06than learning them.
01:00:06And this is even deeper because it was never learned.
01:00:10Typically it was never learned.
01:00:11It's part of your programming.
01:00:12So it's like you opening up the terminal on your MacBook
01:00:14and trying to undo the source code.
01:00:16Like I just, I don't think that you can do it.
01:00:18So it's rare because it's hard and it slows people down
01:00:23and it makes them seem less cohesive from the outside.
01:00:27I've got an episode with Charlie Hooper coming up soon,
01:00:29which is so good and all about this.
01:00:31So I'd advise listening to that.
01:00:33Taylor Markser, favorite Sleep Token song.
01:00:37Thank you for getting me into them.
01:00:38Dude, the number of people that come up to me
01:00:41and say I was the person that introed them to Sleep Token.
01:00:44I think I've talked about them on the show.
01:00:46I've won the t-shirts.
01:00:47I think the first time I ever did it was I shared the album
01:00:51on the newsletter.
01:00:53And I mean, it's a huge credit to the fact
01:00:58that they are so resonant and so good
01:01:03and obviously emotionally connect with so many people
01:01:06that a little suggestion creates a huge outsized impact.
01:01:11And it becomes such a big part of people's lives
01:01:15that they're then able to say you, Chris, gave me this gift.
01:01:20I'm like made you aware of somebody
01:01:23who created a gift perhaps.
01:01:25But yeah, favorite Sleep Token song.
01:01:27It Changes, Missing Limbs is one.
01:01:29Euclid is another.
01:01:31I think the final track of basically album one
01:01:36and album three, those are two.
01:01:40Are You Really Okay?
01:01:45Caramel, although it's so earworm-y
01:01:47that I can't get rid of it.
01:01:48And I just didn't like the last 45 seconds of that song.
01:01:52I didn't.
01:01:55I didn't like it.
01:01:56Those are three.
01:01:59Those are three.
01:02:00If I had to pick one today, Euclid,
01:02:02'cause Zach sent it to me earlier.
01:02:04In other news, this episode is brought to you
01:02:06by RP Strength.
01:02:07This training app has made a huge impact on my gains
01:02:11and enjoyment in the gym over the last two years now.
01:02:13It's designed by Dr. Mike Isritel
01:02:15and comes with over 45 pre-made training programs,
01:02:18250 technique videos.
01:02:20Takes all of the guesswork out of crafting
01:02:22the ideal lifting routine by literally spoon feeding you
01:02:25a step-by-step plan for every workout.
01:02:28It guides you on the exact sets, reps and weight to use.
01:02:32Most importantly, how to perfect your form
01:02:34so every rep is optimized for maximum gains.
01:02:36It adjusts your weights each week based on your progress.
01:02:40And there's a 30 day money back guarantee.
01:02:41So you can buy it, train with it for 29 days.
01:02:44And if you do not like it, they will give you your money back.
01:02:47Right now, you can get up to $50 off the RP Hypertrophy app
01:02:50by going to the link in the description below
01:02:52or heading to rpstrength.com/modernwisdom
01:02:55and using the code modernwisdom at checkout.
01:02:57That's rpstrength.com/modernwisdom
01:03:00and modernwisdom at checkout.
01:03:02Sun Motes, what's your current morning routine?
01:03:05What are some protocols you do weekly?
01:03:07I'm getting back into very rigid morning routine.
01:03:12For people that are relatively new to the show,
01:03:14I did this stupidly opulent, very luxurious bourgeois,
01:03:19retarded solo monk mode thing for a long time.
01:03:23It was three hours long, basically.
01:03:26Get up, walk, journal, breath work, meditate,
01:03:29read, yoga, prep food,
01:03:35train, although you're kind of out of morning routine then.
01:03:39But anyway, by the time that I'd got back from training,
01:03:41it basically been three hours.
01:03:42And then I would begin my day.
01:03:43Is that ridiculously out of touch?
01:03:49Is that undoable for most people?
01:03:50Yes, as the internet's told me a million times.
01:03:53Did it detox me from a very, very long time
01:03:58of never looking inwardly and never having quiet
01:04:01and never slowing down
01:04:02and never asking myself what I thought?
01:04:04Yes, both of those things are true.
01:04:06I had a lot of unearthing to do.
01:04:08I was in a very fortunate situation to do it,
01:04:10but I don't fucking care that it somehow feels unfair
01:04:15that I had the opportunity to do that.
01:04:18Would you rather me disregard the opportunity
01:04:21that I had to do it and go straight into scrolling
01:04:25or imagine that I had to raise a kid
01:04:27that I didn't have simply because...
01:04:30It is such a stupid argument to say,
01:04:34"Oh, I'll try and do that with..."
01:04:35I get it.
01:04:36I'm not saying that you should do it.
01:04:37I'm simply saying that that's what I did.
01:04:39And that was my life situation.
01:04:41These are the same people who will say,
01:04:44"I got married at 25 and we've had beautiful kids
01:04:48and all of these things are amazing."
01:04:49I'm like, "Well, good, lucky for you to say
01:04:51I was stuck doing a morning routine."
01:04:53People have chosen different life paths.
01:04:56There have been opportunities and challenges
01:04:57presented to each person that has done that.
01:04:59Some of those life paths have been imposed on us.
01:05:02Some of those life paths, we have chosen ourselves.
01:05:05Morning routine, right now, I'm getting stuck back into it.
01:05:07Get up at six, six-ish.
01:05:11Walk with my turbo nonce glasses on
01:05:14because the sun's not rising yet.
01:05:17Come back.
01:05:19Ohm, breath work, HRV, resonance breathing, Ohm.health.
01:05:23These lamps are so fucking good, dude.
01:05:25Resonance breathing is gonna be the next big thing.
01:05:28I can already see it.
01:05:30It's super cool.
01:05:31It is basically hypertrophy training for your vagus nerve
01:05:34and I think it's awesome.
01:05:36So I do between 10 and 20 minutes
01:05:38of resonance breathing using the Ohm.
01:05:41Then meditation, insight timer, unguided,
01:05:46doing Shinzen Young's Five Ways to Know Yourself,
01:05:49which is really the only unguided meditation I know.
01:05:53I might try and get into jhana meditation soon.
01:05:56Johnny Miller is threatening to teach me
01:05:59and to put me in touch with one of the best teachers.
01:06:01That would be really cool.
01:06:02And I'll probably do an episode about it if I start doing it.
01:06:04If I do guided, I use Waking Up from Sam Harris.
01:06:07Then I'll read usually for about 10 minutes
01:06:09and that's pretty much an hour.
01:06:11That brings me into land at around about an hour.
01:06:13Is that ridiculous and out of touch?
01:06:17Probably, but I don't care.
01:06:20All of those things are things that I need to do
01:06:25at some point during the day
01:06:26and stacking your morning routine with a ton of the thing.
01:06:29This is where I disagree with Hormozhi's take
01:06:33that spending lots of time to get ready to work
01:06:36is less efficient than just getting into work.
01:06:38I agree if your only goal is to get into work.
01:06:41But if you were to say, I need to do breath work
01:06:44and meditate and go for a walk and read,
01:06:47there is no easier time to do any of those things
01:06:50than on a morning.
01:06:50One of the best ways to do habits is to stack them together.
01:06:53And as soon as you open up your phone,
01:06:55it makes everything harder.
01:06:57So if you can just give yourself an hour on a morning
01:06:59to do whatever it is that you want to do.
01:07:01But for me, that is a supercharged day.
01:07:05I've got some movement in and some light in my eyes.
01:07:09I've done some breath work,
01:07:10which has got nervous system dialed
01:07:13and also makes the meditation better.
01:07:14I've meditated and I've learned something.
01:07:16And then if I go straight from that into training
01:07:19and I'm training with somebody,
01:07:20or a training partner or a coach or whatever,
01:07:24I try to teach them and explain to them
01:07:27one thing that I read that morning.
01:07:31That just locks in so much of the learning
01:07:34as opposed to it being a bit more passive.
01:07:36It means that I always read stuff
01:07:38that I'm really interested in
01:07:39'cause I'm excited to talk to somebody about it.
01:07:42It fucking rules, dude.
01:07:43That this morning routine I've got right now, I love.
01:07:45And it's not that hard to stick to.
01:07:49So highly recommend.
01:07:51Nico Bronze, why do women leave you
01:07:55the moment you start loving them?
01:07:57Fuck me, that's dark.
01:07:58There is a certain category of people
01:08:02who only see value in something which is hard to get.
01:08:07It's a playground dynamic that I want what I can't have.
01:08:15And as soon as that thing feels like it's available to me,
01:08:19there's a strange ick
01:08:25that starts to build inside of people.
01:08:27That is a very undeveloped approach
01:08:36to understanding the value of humans.
01:08:39And it's a shame.
01:08:42And it's not universal.
01:08:45So some women will leave
01:08:47when they feel like you're no longer a challenge.
01:08:50And some men will leave
01:08:52when they feel like you're no longer a challenge.
01:08:55They're not the partners that you want in your life.
01:08:59I know it hurts and I know that it sucks.
01:09:01And it's a horrible trick of human nature and our psychology
01:09:06that things that are hard to get are seen as more valuable.
01:09:10But that is not the person
01:09:14that you want to be in a relationship with at all.
01:09:17Because that dynamic was going to come out now
01:09:22or when you got engaged or when you got a dog
01:09:25or when you got married or when you had your first kid
01:09:28or when you lost your job or when they lost theirs
01:09:31or when you got a promotion or when you got ill.
01:09:34You've been saved.
01:09:37You've been saved by somebody
01:09:39who wasn't sufficiently emotionally developed
01:09:41to be able to hold you.
01:09:43Switching off when the challenge was no longer there.
01:09:53It's really tough and whoever has felt this dynamic
01:09:57and it's so constant, right?
01:10:00This, I want it when it's difficult.
01:10:04I think part of the,
01:10:07part of the underlying assumption here
01:10:13is that that person doesn't feel like
01:10:17they're particularly worthy.
01:10:19If you had high self-esteem, I don't think
01:10:24that you would be turned off by somebody liking you.
01:10:28I think what is being revealed there
01:10:33is not somebody's judgment about you,
01:10:37somebody's judgment about themselves.
01:10:40That if somebody doesn't see in themselves
01:10:48a human that is lovable, when they are loved,
01:10:53they don't ask, they don't think this is amazing.
01:10:59They ask what is wrong with you
01:11:01that you like me in a way that I don't like myself.
01:11:05I'm sorry, but there are an endless number
01:11:08of women out there who are not going to behave like this.
01:11:11And they're probably in the comments now asking who you are.
01:11:16And, and don't mean to victim blame,
01:11:21but why do women leave you as in more than one,
01:11:23as in multiple, as in this has happened to you quite a bit?
01:11:26You are choosing these women.
01:11:28So there is something about your selection criteria
01:11:31that is causing this to happen.
01:11:33So have an ask of what it is that you're looking for
01:11:38and why that keeps being something that you're selecting for
01:11:47in a hidden manner, even if you don't want it
01:11:49and you don't know that it's going to happen,
01:11:51you are choosing these women.
01:11:54So scrutinize appropriately next time.
01:11:58Daniel K. Real Estate, help us find a cure for ME/CFS.
01:12:04Dude, fucking, I would love that.
01:12:07Chronic fatigue is so ruthless, man.
01:12:11I got a message off physics goal.
01:12:14Amy, someone, somebody physics goal.
01:12:18And I watched her video and her video
01:12:21was the final straw justification
01:12:25for me releasing my first health vlog.
01:12:28And she DMed me this week and basically said
01:12:33that she'd seen, she'd seen, it was like the human centipede,
01:12:35but it was just two people like this.
01:12:37She'd seen mine and she was, she felt less alone
01:12:40and I'd seen hers and that was the reason that I did it.
01:12:43So it was cool, so much more research
01:12:46needs to be done into this.
01:12:47It is fucking insane that there are people
01:12:50who don't even know that they're struggling
01:12:54with chronic fatigue.
01:12:55And it's just, oh, this is part of getting older.
01:12:59This is just the by-product of becoming a,
01:13:01it is fucking not, dude.
01:13:04Yes, aging is a real thing.
01:13:05Yes, you locally reverse entropy.
01:13:07Yes, the universe is trying to crush you
01:13:09into tiny little smithereens.
01:13:10Fuck you, nobody's stopping.
01:13:12This is not the way that you're supposed to feel.
01:13:14And it is a silent epidemic that is absolutely
01:13:16wrecking people.
01:13:18I feel because I'm still in it,
01:13:23it feels weird for me to start trying to do
01:13:28some sort of power campaigning thing for it.
01:13:32I can see at some point in future me really getting deep
01:13:36into probably to start mold, making mold testing more,
01:13:42available more convenient,
01:13:43making the protocols more widely known
01:13:46because I think a lot of people are dealing
01:13:47with toxic mold exposure that don't know about it.
01:13:50Maybe as many, if not more than are dealing
01:13:53with chronic fatigue.
01:13:54But I got to, like the FBI's most wanted list,
01:13:57I've got a hit list of things once I get out
01:13:59the other side of this that I really want to try
01:14:02and take the head off.
01:14:03And ME/CFS is on there, so I'll try.
01:14:08Dakkuma7255, how and why do you have such big forearms
01:14:13like Popeye?
01:14:14I do have, I do have slightly chunky forearms.
01:14:22I don't know.
01:14:24It's genetic.
01:14:25I've trained them a total of twice directly.
01:14:30Both times were captured on video and both times
01:14:32with Mike Israel last year.
01:14:35Everybody's got one body part that is just freakish
01:14:39and grows no matter what you do to it.
01:14:41Some people's shoulders, some people's glutes,
01:14:42some people's calves.
01:14:43For me, it's forearms.
01:14:46And it's good, except for when you need to wear a suit
01:14:50or a shirt, then it's a nightmare.
01:14:53Navid1759, being the introspective person that you are,
01:14:59was it hard to form intellectually engaging friendships
01:15:01in the transitional phases of your life
01:15:03when old friends are not immediately available anymore?
01:15:05Thanks for being the beacon of authenticity
01:15:08in the age of mediocrity.
01:15:09Your cognitive flexibility is both an object
01:15:11of my admiration and an ideal I aim for.
01:15:14Respect, sir.
01:15:15Thank you, Navid.
01:15:16It's hard to form intellectually engaging friendships
01:15:22full stop because of that question that somebody asked
01:15:25earlier on, which is, why is it rare for people
01:15:29to be thoughtful and have long-term thinking,
01:15:33reflective, it is just hard full stop.
01:15:36But it's particularly hard in transitional phases
01:15:38because of the lonely chapter.
01:15:40You're different, you're moving on.
01:15:43You can't resonate with your old set of friends,
01:15:45but you're not yet in the place where you are so developed
01:15:48that you've built your new set of friends.
01:15:49And during these transitional phases,
01:15:52you're very incongruent, kind of obsessed with this idea
01:15:54of congruence at the moment.
01:15:56So thoughts and actions and beliefs all aligning.
01:16:02You know where you're going, you know how to do the things
01:16:06that are required to get there,
01:16:08and you're not doubting yourself in the process.
01:16:11When you're going through a transitional period,
01:16:14all that you are is doubt.
01:16:16You've left behind the things that used to give you
01:16:20a sense of satisfaction and reassurance.
01:16:23You haven't yet got to the stage
01:16:25where you know what the new ones are.
01:16:26You don't have the skills of the new ones
01:16:28and the skills of the old life are left behind,
01:16:32that they're useless.
01:16:33And you're just asking, you're swimming in this milieu
01:16:37of uncertainty and it tarnishes the whole process
01:16:40and it's not fucking fun at all.
01:16:41This is the journey of personal growth.
01:16:45The journey of personal growth is not,
01:16:46at least 50% of it is asking what the fuck am I doing?
01:16:52And then the other 50% of it is doing
01:16:54the fuck that you're doing.
01:16:56Especially if you move quickly.
01:17:01So I'm in another transitional phase at the moment.
01:17:04I am going from passive to active,
01:17:08which was, I don't know, 26 to 32.
01:17:13That was that period, 27 to 32,
01:17:15was going from passive to active.
01:17:17Asking myself questions, who do I want to be?
01:17:19What does that consist of?
01:17:20Learning agency, taking control of myself.
01:17:23Grabbing life by the nuts and doing the thing.
01:17:28And then that was good up until about 18 months ago.
01:17:33And then I tried to,
01:17:35I am currently still trying to make the transition
01:17:37passive to active and now active to emotional.
01:17:40And that, from the outside,
01:17:45that objectively should be evolution,
01:17:47but from the outside and from the inside,
01:17:49it feels like devolution.
01:17:50It feels like going back to where I was.
01:17:52Because all of the fuck your feelings bro, just work harder.
01:17:57Use more caffeine, sleep less.
01:18:00Forget how you feel.
01:18:02Disconnect from what is happening below the neck.
01:18:07Don't care about whether the success was or was not worth it.
01:18:10You'll just stay on mission.
01:18:12Rationality, ruthless single-minded focus, largely solo.
01:18:18All of those lessons that take you from passive to active
01:18:23are no longer usable when you go from active to emotional.
01:18:27And it's way harder because you're trying to heal
01:18:30all of the patterns that you only just started to rely on.
01:18:33And the world gave you all of this fucking admiration
01:18:36for doing it.
01:18:37And from the outside, what it looks like
01:18:38is someone who doesn't know what the fuck they're doing
01:18:40and who wants to be around that person?
01:18:43So no matter whether you're going from victim to agent
01:18:48or agent to healer, passive to active, active to emotion.
01:18:54At each stage, your congruence is out of the window.
01:18:57You don't have the same tools that you used to.
01:19:00You don't have the support group that you did.
01:19:02Yes, it was hard.
01:19:03This is a long answer to a relatively short question.
01:19:06Yes, it was hard to form intellectually engaging friendships.
01:19:10Because you don't necessarily know what you like.
01:19:13What you want is other people who are also
01:19:15in this transitional period.
01:19:17They're trying to cross the river from one bank to another
01:19:19at the same time.
01:19:20I'm fortunate that I just lucked out, George, Zach,
01:19:25Yusuf and Johnny from the UK.
01:19:28A lot of the people, Luke, James, a lot of the people
01:19:31are pretty much at the same trajectory that I am
01:19:34and facing the same challenges at the same speed.
01:19:36Charlie, who puts another one of those?
01:19:37Dr. K is another one.
01:19:38These people keep appearing.
01:19:41And then there's people that are further ahead.
01:19:42Joe Hudson, Dr. K probably as well.
01:19:45It's tough, dude.
01:19:49Just stay the course.
01:19:50I'm aware that the Rocky cut scene was three minutes
01:19:53in the movie and it's been four and a half years for you.
01:19:55But again, the choice is between giving up
01:19:58and staying where you are or keeping going
01:20:02and maybe getting to the next level.
01:20:04Eric Grillo, what part of your life became worse
01:20:09as you became more optimized?
01:20:11And how do you decide when optimization has gone too far?
01:20:14What part of your life became worse
01:20:15as you became more optimized?
01:20:20Sleep is a good example of this.
01:20:23There was a wonderful study done where two groups
01:20:28were brought into a sleep lab.
01:20:29One group was paid based on how quickly
01:20:31they could fall asleep and the other group was not.
01:20:34Guess which group fell asleep faster?
01:20:37The group which wasn't paid.
01:20:39Because sleep is one of these weird things in life,
01:20:42like being ill sometimes and having limited capacity,
01:20:45where trying harder makes it work.
01:20:47There are very few situations in life
01:20:48where trying harder makes something worse.
01:20:50But trying harder makes going to sleep worse.
01:20:55If you can't force yourself to sleep,
01:20:57that is the antithesis of what you need to do,
01:20:58which is relax.
01:20:59And this is how people get into insomnia spirals.
01:21:02They're scared of the pillow.
01:21:04When they get into bed,
01:21:05they know that they're not gonna fall asleep.
01:21:06Well, here it is, it's happening again.
01:21:07I'm not gonna, I'm gonna be so tired tomorrow.
01:21:09You should fall asleep.
01:21:10Why can't I fall asleep?
01:21:11I'm gonna do the thing.
01:21:11Also, the stress of trying to be perfect
01:21:15probably will kill you more quickly than your imperfections.
01:21:18There is a limit to this.
01:21:19The stress of trying to perfect your non-cocaine addiction,
01:21:24probably a good idea.
01:21:26Trying to perfect your reduction of your gambling habit,
01:21:32also probably a good idea.
01:21:34But most people are going from zero to one,
01:21:35not minus one to zero.
01:21:37The over-optimizers are over-optimizing,
01:21:41not just optimizing.
01:21:42Sleep is one of them.
01:21:47Training is actually another one of them.
01:21:49That what you want,
01:21:51and I think that the broad rule here is that
01:21:53optimization often removes enjoyment
01:21:58because you start to do what is prescriptively preferred
01:22:02as opposed to what the vibe tells you is most enjoyable.
01:22:08But ultimately the biggest determinant
01:22:10of any optimization protocol is compliance.
01:22:14And compliance is usually determined
01:22:17by how you feel about it.
01:22:19So what you should do is get close to right-ish
01:22:23and then exclusively optimize for enjoyment.
01:22:26'Cause first off, it's gonna be more enjoyable,
01:22:27which is the whole fucking reason
01:22:28that you're here on the planet.
01:22:29But secondly, it means that you're gonna be
01:22:31more likely to stick to it.
01:22:33So you're gonna do the thing more,
01:22:36which will gain you more results
01:22:38than trying to squeeze out an extra few percent
01:22:41or maybe even many percents per iteration,
01:22:46but way reduce down your compliance.
01:22:48So that would be a good way to decide
01:22:51when optimization has gone too far,
01:22:53when stuff stops being fun, when it stops being enjoyable.
01:22:55Not everything is going to be enjoyable,
01:22:57but let's say that going to the gym used to be great
01:23:01because you trained on an evening time
01:23:03and you had a great training partner
01:23:04and everything was awesome.
01:23:05But then you learned that training on a morning,
01:23:07actually you've got 5% more motor units,
01:23:10recruitable, and it means that your caffeine intake
01:23:13and your beta-alanine, and you can get
01:23:15the post-workout window for your nutrition dialed in.
01:23:18So you stop training with your friend,
01:23:19you start training on a morning.
01:23:20Have you, you have optimized the iteration,
01:23:23but you have completely reduced down
01:23:26the likelihood of you sticking with it over time.
01:23:27Or you're gonna use that willpower,
01:23:28you're gonna have to tap into willpower,
01:23:30or it's just fucking less enjoyable.
01:23:32So sleep and training,
01:23:34two areas that you can easily over-optimize.
01:23:36I'm sure that there's tons more.
01:23:38And deciding when optimization's gone too far,
01:23:41but there's probably a way better answer than this,
01:23:43but I get the sense that when stuff stops being fun,
01:23:46that's a good place to begin.
01:23:49The fun bin.
01:23:52Hey Chris, I've been following you for years.
01:23:53Thank you for leading by example and turning pro
01:23:56and showing up so consistently.
01:23:57Thank you.
01:23:58I'm 41, going through yet another breakup
01:24:00and struggle to feel I am enough financially.
01:24:03I'm fit, funny in my own way,
01:24:04a little neurotic, attentive, attractive, and caring,
01:24:07but I fear my lack of industriousness
01:24:09is pushing women away after their initial swooning period.
01:24:11Do I need to be exceptionally financially successful
01:24:14to keep a girlfriend?
01:24:16That's a good question.
01:24:17I think lots of, guys will often fall
01:24:23into one of two categories.
01:24:25The sort of objectively successful,
01:24:27but subjectively don't seem to have what is needed
01:24:31for women to feel good about them.
01:24:33But you're in a different camp.
01:24:34You're in the camp that seems to be subjectively
01:24:37pretty dialed, but objectively, at least in one area,
01:24:41the resource provisioning, struggling.
01:24:43Look, for each of these different buckets,
01:24:49the more of them that you can fill, the better.
01:24:51You do not need to be exceptionally financially successful
01:24:55to keep a girlfriend.
01:24:57But if you were financially successful,
01:25:00your potential market, your TAM, would probably open up
01:25:04a little more.
01:25:05Now, do you want a girlfriend who is very sensitive
01:25:08to your financial successfulness?
01:25:11If not, this is actually, in a weird way,
01:25:13gonna be a good selection criteria
01:25:15because you're going to choose a girl
01:25:16who is very, very unmaterialistic
01:25:18'cause you ain't got no materials to give her.
01:25:20I would say if you've got, presumably,
01:25:27it sounds like initial swooning period,
01:25:29and then you're laying at the feet
01:25:31of your lack of industriousness and your financial success,
01:25:35previous girlfriend's attraction.
01:25:39You fear that your lack of industriousness
01:25:41is pushing women away.
01:25:42That is what you're saying.
01:25:43I would make sure that that is the case.
01:25:47I would maybe even text your exes
01:25:49if you've got a good relationship with them.
01:25:51Oh, fuck it, just text them anyway.
01:25:52Hey, I just wanted to ask how big of a deal
01:25:56was my financial success in how attracted you were to me?
01:26:01You don't need to sugarcoat it.
01:26:05I'm asking for myself.
01:26:06I really want to be a good man for the next woman,
01:26:08and I really hope that I've left you
01:26:10in a better place than I found you.
01:26:11Can you just feel free to voice note me or say whatever?
01:26:14And I would just do that for all of your exes.
01:26:16That'd be a cool personal development thing to do.
01:26:20It'd be good at keeping your ego small.
01:26:22And you might be surprised at what you find out.
01:26:24They might say, "Actually, do you know what it is?
01:26:27The neurotic thing, it was actually a bit much for me."
01:26:31And that might be what you need to work on.
01:26:34So that'd be cool to ask.
01:26:36I would say financial success, if you're in your 40s,
01:26:39is, especially if you've got this fit,
01:26:42funny, neurotic, attentive, attractive character,
01:26:45if you've got those things,
01:26:47it's not gonna be that hard for you
01:26:48to start to grind a little bit more.
01:26:52Squeeze, you've got no dependents,
01:26:53sounds like going through a breakup single.
01:26:55You can wring out the fucking wet towel
01:27:00of resource provisioning and crank it, side hustle,
01:27:05do a few things, and within the space of a few years,
01:27:08presuming that you don't have some dependents
01:27:09or you're living in a really expensive place,
01:27:12you will be able to get, I would much sooner back you,
01:27:17somebody who just needs to potentially
01:27:19become more financially successful,
01:27:21then back someone who needs to become more attentive,
01:27:24attractive, caring, fit, and funny.
01:27:27Like you've got all of the raw materials
01:27:30and you've just got this one bit.
01:27:31If this is true, again, if this is,
01:27:32they come back, I mean, it's weird,
01:27:33like a girl come back, "Yo, yeah,
01:27:35it's because you earn 40 grand a year.
01:27:37That's, to me, it's a real turn off."
01:27:39It's like, what, with every past girlfriend?
01:27:42I don't know, maybe, but find out what it is.
01:27:45If so, fix it.
01:27:49Thomas JH10, "I'm four years clean from gambling,
01:27:52but still paying off gambling debts,
01:27:54about 60,000 pounds left."
01:27:56Wow.
01:27:57"What advice would you give for trying to pay this off
01:27:59as quickly as possible?
01:28:00Currently a teacher."
01:28:02Well, dude, I'm really fucking proud of you
01:28:05for beating gambling addiction.
01:28:07Four years from gambling, gambling is such a silent,
01:28:10like a huge silent epidemic that nobody sees.
01:28:17It is massively gendered as a lot of addictions are actually.
01:28:21And I think if people don't have that particular key hole
01:28:28that gambling taps into in their mind,
01:28:31they just can't understand, I can't understand.
01:28:35I've got a few addictive bones in my body,
01:28:38but none of them ever got, whatever,
01:28:40addictive sockets in my body,
01:28:42but none of them ever got plugged into.
01:28:44It just turned into work and building businesses
01:28:49and fucking thinking about stupid ideas.
01:28:53And I'm really fortunate that that was the case,
01:28:56but I really applaud you for doing it.
01:28:59It's fucking awesome.
01:29:0060,000 pounds is a lot of money.
01:29:03That would be, what, $85,000 maybe, maybe $90,000.
01:29:08Currently a teacher.
01:29:10I'm gonna guess that that means you earn probably 30s, 30s-ish
01:29:15depending on how long you've been doing it for.
01:29:18Fuck, man.
01:29:22I mean, being a teacher is not a small lift.
01:29:24You've got your holidays and things.
01:29:28What would be good?
01:29:30I mean, you can try and do the side hustle thing,
01:29:34take James Smith's how to become an online fitness coach thing
01:29:37and do that, I would actually say
01:29:40that from an hourly standpoint, especially if you can do it,
01:29:42becoming a PT is really not bad
01:29:44'cause in the UK that can be 25, 30, 40 pounds,
01:29:49even 50 pounds an hour if you are able
01:29:51to sort of build up the momentum
01:29:53and do it in a high-income area.
01:29:55That would be a good side hustle.
01:29:57I know what you don't want.
01:30:00What's easiest for me to say is just chip away at it, dude.
01:30:03You know, 60,000 pounds left, batten down the hatches.
01:30:07If you're battening down the hatches with what,
01:30:09let's say five grand a year, you're able to chip away,
01:30:14that's 12 years, it's a fucking decade
01:30:16of this thing hanging over your head.
01:30:18And if there's gambling debts that are accumulating interest,
01:30:22that is just, it is gonna take, it's gonna take time.
01:30:26And presumably you want to be liberated of this
01:30:27or else you wouldn't be asking me.
01:30:29I mean, obviously you need to get your burn rate down.
01:30:33You can't spend that much
01:30:36because every pound that you spend on something
01:30:38is a pound that you don't spend on that.
01:30:39But then do you also want to look back on a life
01:30:41where you spent all of your time just paying off this debt
01:30:44and didn't enjoy your youth when you had it?
01:30:46My, I'm sure financial planners would say otherwise,
01:30:53my feeling in situations like this is to just try
01:30:55and increase the inflow of cash.
01:30:58That was the way that I got.
01:31:00I mean, there was a period in uni when I was 20
01:31:04where I didn't have money to put into my car
01:31:07to drive to work.
01:31:09And one of the guys that was living with me
01:31:13was stealing food from the Tesco
01:31:15'cause neither of us had money.
01:31:16I did, I was too proud to message my parents
01:31:20and ask them for cash.
01:31:21I'm sure they would have given it to me.
01:31:23I'm sure it could have got a loan from the guy
01:31:26that me and Darren were working for for the franchise,
01:31:27but I didn't want to see him.
01:31:29I don't even know why, but it,
01:31:31I know what it's, for a short period of time
01:31:34I know what it's like to be really worried about money.
01:31:37My solution to get out of that was to just overwork.
01:31:41And I get the sense that
01:31:44anxiety really hates a moving target
01:31:46and dialing your burn rate down is good,
01:31:49but dialing your inflow up will probably feel better
01:31:52and be more motivating.
01:31:53Yeah, it's gonna be more tiring,
01:31:54but it's gonna feel like you're doing more.
01:31:56As long as you can keep an eye
01:31:58on how much you're spending.
01:32:00Evening job, fucking
01:32:02local retail, somewhere that's 24 hours,
01:32:08petrol station kiosk, PT stuff,
01:32:12especially during summer holidays.
01:32:14That's where I would go.
01:32:16I wouldn't be doing it from investment.
01:32:17I think just increase the inflow, but dude, congrats.
01:32:20I'm really happy that you're doing it.
01:32:22You are gonna get there.
01:32:24Just stay the course.
01:32:25And also, like I say,
01:32:26the action is the antidote to anxiety thing.
01:32:30Something tells me that if you're working really hard,
01:32:32the likelihood of you relapsing into the gambling
01:32:35is probably gonna dip down too.
01:32:37El Moru, when are you coming to Hamburg?
01:32:42So we have a gap in the UK and Ireland tour
01:32:46between the, we do four dates back to back.
01:32:51It's insane.
01:32:52We do those four and then we have a window
01:32:57and I'm either going to do cinema shoot
01:33:00and do some episodes or we're gonna come to Germany.
01:33:03I have no idea whether we're gonna come to Hamburg,
01:33:05but Germany is the fifth biggest market of listeners
01:33:10for Modern Wisdom.
01:33:10I think it's America, UK,
01:33:15Australia, Canada, Germany.
01:33:20So I know that there's lots of German people there.
01:33:24We're also coming to some video game conference thing
01:33:29with Nutonic, I swear.
01:33:31And we might do it around that.
01:33:32That's at the end of September maybe or August.
01:33:37I will try and come in the next.
01:33:39I will try and come in 2026.
01:33:42Guya Maria, hey Chris,
01:33:44how much have you worked with Joe Hudson
01:33:46and how well do you guys know each other?
01:33:47You seem close, loved your podcasts together.
01:33:50Love, thank you.
01:33:51Joe is a goat.
01:33:54He's so good.
01:33:55And I've not done that.
01:34:00I spent that week with him.
01:34:01I did his retreat.
01:34:02I did Groundbreakers.
01:34:04I've done the communications course
01:34:06from Art of Accomplishment.
01:34:08We talk maybe once a week, once every couple of weeks.
01:34:13He's legit.
01:34:15There's very few people on the planet
01:34:16that deserve the title Master Coach.
01:34:19And he's one of them.
01:34:22And we are close, we are.
01:34:23And to be close to somebody
01:34:25who I think is such a good person,
01:34:27significantly better person than I am is cool.
01:34:31It's cool.
01:34:32My desire for what a good friend looks like
01:34:37or the people that I admire,
01:34:38criteria for people that I admire has changed an awful lot.
01:34:43And somebody like Joe who's so calm and regulated
01:34:47and introspective and caring and smart and wise,
01:34:51he is, you know, that's why I love Chris Bumstead.
01:34:54That's why, in a weird way,
01:34:55that's why I love Holmosey as well.
01:34:56Even though if you were to take Holmosey and Joe Hudson,
01:34:59you've got two very different demeanors.
01:35:01I learned a lot from him and he's a great guy.
01:35:07So I really hope.
01:35:09I should have done the decisions course.
01:35:10It's happening right now from Art of Accomplishment.
01:35:12Everyone that was in my Groundbreakers group
01:35:14is telling me how great it is, but I just, I couldn't.
01:35:17I couldn't.
01:35:17With all of the health stuff that I'm trying to do,
01:35:20it would have just felt like more burden.
01:35:21So maybe next year.
01:35:23Coach Maf, what kind of questions do you prefer
01:35:27or not prefer at the Q&A?
01:35:29I've got VIP tickets in New Zealand.
01:35:31Fucking sick, dude.
01:35:32I've never been to New Zealand, so I'm excited to go.
01:35:34I prefer the question that you really want to ask.
01:35:39You're not performing for me.
01:35:41I'm performing for you.
01:35:42And whatever you're interested in,
01:35:45what is the burning question that's really true?
01:35:47One, I want the question from you that is scarier
01:35:50than the one that you think you're supposed to ask.
01:35:52It's the one that's more revealing.
01:35:53It's the one that makes you go,
01:35:54oh, am I really going to say this?
01:35:57I've got this mic and a few thousand people in front of me.
01:35:59Am I really going to say this
01:36:00to this guy whose podcast I watch?
01:36:03That's the question I want you to ask.
01:36:05So other than that, whatever you're interested in.
01:36:07Logan Bissett.
01:36:10If Pinocchio said his nose is going to grow,
01:36:13what would happen next?
01:36:15If Pinocchio said his nose is going to grow,
01:36:33what would happen next?
01:36:35Something tells me there's a Reddit thread
01:36:41that is 4,000 comments deep explaining this.
01:36:45I get the sense that it would grow
01:36:53because he doesn't know if it's going to grow.
01:36:57So the nose grows because of him lying,
01:37:02not because of his accuracy at telling the future.
01:37:07He does not know if it's going to grow, unless he does.
01:37:11Fuck.
01:37:12I don't know.
01:37:14Dark Mode Kyle.
01:37:17Why did you stop working out?
01:37:18You used to be so fit.
01:37:20What?
01:37:22What do you mean?
01:37:24Why did you stop working out?
01:37:25You used to be, what's it used to be?
01:37:27I still work out.
01:37:30Someone just gave me the compliments on the forearms.
01:37:33Look, I have lost a little bit of muscle mass,
01:37:35but I've been sad and ill, okay?
01:37:38Fucking hell.
01:37:39Dark Mode Kyle, you really are fucking dark mode.
01:37:44Didn't stop working out.
01:37:47Still fit-ish, fit-ish.
01:37:49Fucking mean question.
01:37:52I'm not going to finish up on that.
01:37:54I was going to finish up.
01:37:55I'm not going to finish up on someone accusing me
01:37:56of going skinny fat, even if I have been.
01:37:58Beckzod Zassanov5743.
01:38:06Do you have any plans about writing a book?
01:38:07Because it seems to me and a majority of the listeners
01:38:10that you have enough resources to write one, right?
01:38:13And we are looking forward to it.
01:38:14Well, thank you.
01:38:15And yeah, I do know that I should get on with it.
01:38:19This deal has been there for a long time
01:38:22with portfolio from Penguin.
01:38:24Adrian, the owner, is really wonderful with me
01:38:28and has allowed me to put my delivery date back
01:38:31three times already, I think.
01:38:35I'll tell you what I'm struggling with.
01:38:37I'll be completely open with you.
01:38:39What I'm struggling with is what's called the idea set.
01:38:42I could call it Modern Wisdom.
01:38:46And that would be cool.
01:38:48And it would pass the subway test,
01:38:50which is would someone want to be seen reading it on the tube?
01:38:54Modern Wisdom book title, like, whoa, great.
01:38:57What is the idea set of Modern Wisdom?
01:38:59It's not single thrust.
01:39:00It's not the psychology of money.
01:39:02It's not atomic habits.
01:39:03It's not high agency.
01:39:05It's not the subtle art of not giving a fuck.
01:39:07It's not an idea set.
01:39:09It is more like an almanac style book.
01:39:12And although that's great and kind of is what I do, right?
01:39:16Curating different ideas.
01:39:17It means that you don't get to own a particular area
01:39:19of cognitive real estate.
01:39:20And I think that's important.
01:39:22I also think if the first book that I do
01:39:24is simply me naming it after the podcast,
01:39:27which is already the thing that I'm known for,
01:39:29what it sounds like is, oh,
01:39:30that podcast guy wrote a book about his podcast
01:39:33or about what he learned on the podcast or something.
01:39:35And even if the podcast has been the big vehicle
01:39:38for my learning,
01:39:40I think that reduces down the legitimacy of me as a writer.
01:39:43But make no mistake.
01:39:44I've written over a quarter of a million words
01:39:47in the last five years.
01:39:49Since I launched the newsletter,
01:39:50I do a thousand words every single week.
01:39:52300,000, 350,000 words in a fucking Apple note
01:39:57on this laptop.
01:39:58I'm a writer.
01:40:03And if I release a book that's the title of my podcast,
01:40:07I feel like that kind of diminishes the legitimacy of,
01:40:11oh, he really wrote a book.
01:40:13He really put forward a thesis.
01:40:14He had an idea and he crafted the direction of this book
01:40:19to deliver that.
01:40:20Supposed to he just repurposed ideas from the pot.
01:40:23Even if it was brand new material,
01:40:24even if I didn't quote a single other person, I don't know.
01:40:28So the idea set,
01:40:30there's so many different directions that I can go in.
01:40:32Do I want to talk about how to not miss your life?
01:40:35Do I want to talk about the balance
01:40:37between success and happiness?
01:40:38Do I want to talk about lonely chapters?
01:40:40Do I want to talk about unteachable lessons?
01:40:41Do I want to talk about obsession?
01:40:43The single direction, there's so many that I could go in,
01:40:47but that also is a problem.
01:40:48So I've got the fucking paradox of choice and curse of,
01:40:51curse of not even competence.
01:40:55I've never written a book before,
01:40:56but curse of options, at least at the moment.
01:40:58Yeah, I am looking forward to it too.
01:41:02I'm just gonna have to get my life to the stage
01:41:04where I have sufficient launch velocity to get away from it.
01:41:07I mean, if you have an idea
01:41:10for what you want to see me write,
01:41:12fucking leave it in the comments below,
01:41:13because there is so many things that I can talk about.
01:41:16Yeah, what would you want to see me write about?
01:41:20That would be an interesting one.
01:41:23All right, I'm gonna love you and leave you.
01:41:25That is an hour and 45.
01:41:27I did this last time.
01:41:31I think I did this around about Christmas
01:41:33where I got to the end of the episode
01:41:37and I did a little reflection about sort of how I've been,
01:41:39genuinely, genuinely, how I've been feeling recently.
01:41:41I said a while ago, if someone could do a sentiment analysis,
01:41:48pace of words, tonality, energy, speech errors,
01:41:54I'd love that to be tracked over time
01:41:58because there would be this weird sort of increase
01:42:02in all of these issues
01:42:05as my brain started dripping out of my ears
01:42:09and I wasn't sleeping
01:42:10and I had all of this stuff going on personally
01:42:13that I was trying to deal with.
01:42:18And it feels really good
01:42:20to have a tiny little bit of me back.
01:42:23And I appreciate all of you for sticking with me through this
01:42:27because I know even when I look back
01:42:30on the conversations I had last year,
01:42:32they were amazing and insightful
01:42:35and one of my favorite years with the podcast.
01:42:38But there was a sort of dour sad undertone to them
01:42:42because that's how I was feeling.
01:42:43That was the energy that I was bringing in.
01:42:45I was asking a lot of questions about tapping into emotion
01:42:48and navigating downtime and overcoming challenges.
01:42:52And in some ways that's inspiring, hopefully,
01:42:56but in other ways, I leak into the show a lot
01:43:01and that's beautiful because it's real.
01:43:06But it does mean that if I'm having a bit of a down period,
01:43:10you guys come along for the ride
01:43:11and I for the first time in a long time
01:43:15have just got a little bit of breathing room.
01:43:17My brain feels like it's starting to work
01:43:19and I'm coming up with ideas
01:43:20and I'm beginning to write a little bit more fluidly
01:43:23and I'm prepared to have a bit of not bravado,
01:43:28you get confidence.
01:43:30I'm prepared to have a little bit of confidence
01:43:32which I haven't had for like nearly two years.
01:43:34Like proper, I feel like I'm good at the thing that I do
01:43:37as opposed to, I fear that I'm going to be found out
01:43:40for not being as good as I used to be.
01:43:43And I just wanted to say thank you
01:43:45for everyone sticking with me.
01:43:47I'm really, really gonna fucking rip the hinges off this year.
01:43:52I'm gonna do it gently to start with
01:43:55because if I feel a bit better
01:43:58and then start loading too much load onto the work plate,
01:44:03that'll go badly.
01:44:06So I'm gonna try and titrate the dose
01:44:07but the early signs are good.
01:44:11And I just wanted to say thank you
01:44:13for everyone for being here with me,
01:44:15for giving me a reason to get out of bed
01:44:17on days when I've really, really, really fucking not wanted to
01:44:20for supporting the show is really, it's super meaningful.
01:44:24And these Q&A's and the questions that you guys ask
01:44:26is so cool and they're really,
01:44:28I'm proud to have you as an audience and that's it.
01:44:32I'll stop fucking
01:44:34guffawing and venting all over you.
01:44:40I appreciate you, chriswellax.com/valentine
01:44:43if you wanna get some questions to connect with your partner
01:44:46or make yourself squirm, chriswilliamson.live
01:44:48for the tour stuff.
01:44:49Mostly Wives merch is gonna be coming out soon.
01:44:52Lots of episodes coming up, new studio, Australia people.
01:44:57All right, I love you all, bye.