Transcript
00:00:00that bag of coke at the white house wasn't yours no okay how how upset are you that someone else
00:00:05okay i've literally i've listened to all of you i've listened to you have your guest on
00:00:12and you're all like i don't know i don't know it could have been his but i guess who's was
00:00:17who's do you think it was because it's fucking someone's i have no clue so it's someone who's
00:00:20the hit list pull up a diagram of the who's the fucking biggest hit list of the of the white house
00:00:24okay let's see diagram of white house are you going to place the bag of cocaine how big was the sack
00:00:30how big were we talking i have no idea april i mean it didn't come to me and say hunter we want to show
00:00:35you this well you could have hunter hunter come here we're aware that you might be able to trace where
00:00:40this came from here we go okay so if you look at the okay so you see there see where it says white
00:00:45house in the middle yeah okay so the west wing is where the oval office is the white house is where
00:00:52the residence is i am under secret service protection during this period of time when i
00:00:57enter the white house i enter off of the south lawn which is the big ellipses you know what i mean
00:01:02like the the circular driveway on on the on the southern part okay so you enter the white house through
00:01:08the um uh middle bit what through the right right to the middle and right as you go through the middle
00:01:14you go to an elevator and you go up to the residence okay that is how the secret service brings me in
00:01:21and they and they're with me like as far as you are for me everywhere i go outside of making it to the
00:01:29elevator to that um uh to go up to the second floor but not the bathroom if you want to do key bumps you
00:01:35can go in the other than the bathroom yeah okay true enough but thank you for pointing that out that
00:01:41was very helpful mother fuck i swear to god where it wasn't found where it was now now situation room
00:01:46wasn't no yeah so see where it says west exec avenue yeah okay so that's where everybody else that is a
00:01:54part of the administration comes into the white house so the eisenhower executive office building
00:02:01is where 90 of the people that say they work at the white house work okay and when they come over
00:02:07for meetings with the chief of staff or the director of national intelligence or whoever else is in the
00:02:13west wing they come through there and when you go through there you enter in on the ground floor
00:02:19above you is the chief of staff's office and the oval office okay and on that ground floor as soon as you
00:02:26walk in there's a desk there's another secret service agent a uniform secret service agent and if you go
00:02:33on the other side of that desk and take a right there's a hallway and that end of that hallway
00:02:39is the situation room of which i've never been in because you're not allowed into the fucking
00:02:44situation room unless you have top secret clearance hey dude the fucking president the president's son
00:02:49doesn't get to hang in okay and in that right in front of that door is a set of cubbies okay and the
00:02:56only reason i know that is it because if you go to your left there's a little cafeteria like not even
00:03:01it's like table set up for like the chief of staff in their offices to come have like a bowl of soup or
00:03:07whatever to eat in those cubbies is where they found it and supposedly found a little bag of cocaine
00:03:16bowl of soup number one i'm not joking around okay and i don't know how much of it is what you should
00:03:20be like i do fat sacks only yeah by the way not only that is i smoke crack true here's i smoke crack
00:03:26i'll say this though by the way i'm now at this point i'm not in the white house yeah when it's found
00:03:31i haven't been in the white house for six weeks to a month when it's found all right although this
00:03:38this does sound like the part of the movie where we're like you know we have the diagram it sounds
00:03:41like we're planning on how we could get cocaine in the white house you know when they go through
00:03:46like the ducks in the movie what the fuck no it's done man you know what that's why you went to
00:03:52sally's and i went to archmere okay exactly rivals forever yes exactly there's a duct on the south
00:03:57lawn you've opened it up there's literally this is never gonna die okay i don't by the way here's
00:04:03the other thing i don't think it was yours i didn't know but here's the other thing it's like
00:04:06are you fucking kidding me like i will i'll openly talk about having sex on camera with a prostitute
00:04:13new haven connecticut yeah and off i fucking 95 smoking a crack but like i like a like a bag of
00:04:22drugs it is so funny i mean it's so ridiculous it drives me insane now look that's like you want to
00:04:30talk about things that online that you can say you have your friendship with peter teal to deal with
00:04:34you had to like fucking great yeah great this is the last thing you know what i literally this is
00:04:46how that obtuse i am i was like oh that's weird kind of went about my day i was i was what four or
00:04:54five years sober by this point i haven't like i'm like and by the way like i'm thinking like
00:04:58who like if i relapse no oh here's the other thing i'm gonna do i'm being drug tested but you know
00:05:03i'm being drug tested by the federal bureau of fucking probation who's fucking showing up at my
00:05:07house they watch you pee two or three times a week without not telling anybody and to deal with the
00:05:12secret service they just walk into my walk into your house like 6 a.m knock on your bedroom door and
00:05:17they they watch you right like oh yeah and then they walk you into the bathroom and close the door
00:05:22with them standing like this watching you watching your cock yeah you can't use the wizard you could use
00:05:27the wizard technically what's that was the wizard oh yeah yeah what's the wizard wizard is like a fake
00:05:33penis i wish i had the wizard when i went to the navy exactly yeah uh you need the wizard is it true
00:05:40that you still pack your bag with a witness is it you still doing that you have to pack your bags
00:05:45yeah have you heard this yeah it's a what's called a wife they watch you they go that's all you're
00:05:49bringing yeah yeah it's true it's i swear to god i got in a melissa i got in a little discussion before
00:06:00i left her here she said you can fit it all in the backpack i said i'd like my little rolly bag to put
00:06:04my backpack every time why are you taking without fail but what are the whites pushing for more
00:06:09storage it doesn't matter they go you know that's too much or that's no matter what you pack they're
00:06:12like that's right that's wrong by the way i just want to make clear melissa i did not use the voice
00:06:18that matt is doing yeah i get in trouble yeah i get in trouble i don't know what i use like a cart you
00:06:24don't sound like that it's so fun i don't sound like that yeah that's an ongoing problem here's the
00:06:31thing is that um uh is the reason is and only when i travel internationally is the that if it's out of
00:06:38my sight i just think that look could you imagine if uh i got pulled over and they found drugs you know
00:06:48on me who would believe me yeah like if you can't believe me about that right yeah the 9 000 times that
00:06:56i've said are you out of your mind i wasn't there you can check on the fact that i wasn't there you can
00:07:00see that it wasn't like it was in front of the i mean like all of these things too small can you
00:07:05imagine you know yeah right like what what would you do and and and you know also here's the other
00:07:14thing do you put it past any of these guys for like that no way the plant it could have been dropped
00:07:19for sure it's like dude drop it down yeah so um you know i want like here here like i the the thing that
00:07:28i am uh i want all the questions like there's nothing off limits i want to i want to be able
00:07:35to because the the thing that i think is the the only value that i have truly because you don't have
00:07:44to agree with my politics you don't have to agree with i think about donald trump you don't have to
00:07:48agree that well i hope everybody agrees that fucking the beavis and butthead are total douchebags don and
00:07:54eric but is it you don't have to agree with any of this fighting talk it's so true good look okay
00:08:04what's their deal i don't know anything about them uh just jerks well they're rich jerks now
00:08:10like really really rich jerks but the um uh is it the one thing that i did i like just
00:08:21to be like a symbol like it i made it even like you can too like if i could stay clean and sober
00:08:32through all of that and um and get on the other side of an addiction that you can go look at how
00:08:39awful it was um is that it's like i just think like for that reason alone to be out here talking to
00:08:50people and to show that i can sit upright in the chair and i can write about it and i can talk about
00:08:57it without any um shame that doesn't mean i don't feel guilty about yeah doesn't mean that i made horrible
00:09:03decisions and abstinent myself from my family and my children in particular doesn't mean that i'm even
00:09:11remotely perfect in in my recovery you know and uh but you know there is another there is getting to
00:09:21the other side of stuff um and being transparent about it isn't a uh a weakness it's a it's a it's
00:09:28a strength you are everywhere at the moment would you ever consider running for office is there a
00:09:33thrust that this is working no i mean people i i'm i'm even honored you would you would ask that with
00:09:38a straight face because um i i really am um because think about that think about asking that question
00:09:46you know before may 21st of this year when i went on x for the first time um uh and so i i really
00:09:55appreciate that if it was said with sincerity but you know i tell people if you if if i announce for
00:10:04something within the next few years then you will certainly know that i've relapsed
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00:11:03drinklmnt.com modern wisdom thank you very much for tuning in if you enjoyed that clip you will love
00:11:11the full-length episode in all of its glory right here come on press it
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