“I Was Afraid Of Everything” – How Alex Hormozi Changed His Life

CChris Williamson
Mental HealthAdult EducationParenting

Transcript

00:00:00It's crazy that we think we can change our thinking environment whilst keeping our external
00:00:04environment the exact same. And we're going to just continue to use, I don't know what type of
00:00:12effort we think it is that we're applying to our own brain whilst experiencing the same cues and
00:00:17stimulus, but hoping that our thinking is going to adapt. You have to change to change. And it
00:00:25sounds so like, does that sound like a trite truism or whatever? Like cliche. Yeah. If nothing has
00:00:31changed, nothing will change. And so you have to be like, something has to be the catalyst. And you
00:00:36were the only, like either you get in a car accident, your girlfriend breaks up with you. You
00:00:40can use the negative, at least like if you are not happy with your life and then something bad happens
00:00:45to you, be grateful for it in the moment because it means that you, a change, a chaos variable has
00:00:50entered the building. And that means that you have the ability for a short period of time before
00:00:54equilibrium gets reestablished that you can change shit without the same consequences because all
00:00:58of your loops got, got muddled. And so like, those are the periods of time where you can go through
00:01:02tremendous change because you're like, well, fuck it. Everything that I thought to be true isn't.
00:01:07So what else, uh, that I think was false, but isn't, and then you can start moving towards it.
00:01:12Came across this line from beauty of sass. It is an unwritten rule of life that after every
00:01:17prolonged period of hardship and uncertainty, there is going to be a period where you achieve quantum
00:01:22leaps across multiple areas of your life. The only requirement is that you do not give up on
00:01:26failure and success are on the same road. It's just that failure is an earlier exit.
00:01:42What's that one about, uh, whatever you do, don't be the guy who gives up at the exact moment when you
00:01:47should be fighting with everything you have. You'll make it through either way, but there's only one way
00:01:52you'll look back and be proud of yourself. This is the meta frame of the story that we one day tell.
00:01:59Like we tell stories of who, of what type of person we are all day long when we're confronted with
00:02:04different decisions, what type of person am I? And I would like to be known to myself as a fighter
00:02:12is that I'm willing to fight for what I want and for what I believe in. And I think that,
00:02:19um, that is why I think I would want to have courage to be the one thing that is transferred.
00:02:23Hmm. And I think it's because I'm going to go back to that season because I think it's relevant.
00:02:30Like I, I was a really good student at Vanderbilt. I was vice president of the powerlifting team.
00:02:41I was president of the fraternity that I was in. I had a three, eight, I think GPA. Um, and I graduated in three years,
00:02:47but I was so afraid of not getting a job that I took the first job that I was offered
00:02:53from the first person, which was an introduction my dad had from a patient of his. And to be clear,
00:02:59so we were like, Oh, it was a, it was an epitism. It wasn't a great job,
00:03:02but I was so afraid that I would be jobless that I just took that job. And I only say this to say that
00:03:09like, like you can change your stars. Like I was not the type of person who, who does the types of
00:03:22things that I do now then. And I, I, I retell those stories. I don't talk about, talk about them as much
00:03:35because, um, honestly, I blocked most of them out because I was in so much pain during that period
00:03:40of my life. And the reason that I'm willing to keep making content and write books and all that stuff,
00:03:46um, is because I know that there is a, another person who is going through a similar chapter
00:03:53and worried if they are sane or if it is only them and it is not. And so like,
00:04:00you can't compare yourself to people who are different chapters. You just have to believe
00:04:07that you can change incrementally one behavior at a time over an extended period of time and that those
00:04:13changes will aggregate, that they will stack up. Um, because like, we don't know what the last chapter
00:04:20is going to look like. We only know what the next page does and we get to write that today. And
00:04:25like, I was, I was so driven by fear. I was so, I was so afraid of everything, um,
00:04:36during that chapter. And so it was like other people's opinions. What if I fail? What if this
00:04:41doesn't work out? What if people make fun of me? Like I had all this, this fear around it. And like,
00:04:46the emotionality that I have now towards it is because of the, the, a mix of, of pity and pride
00:04:56that I have for that young man, the young Alex that was going through that, because
00:05:03I'm proud that I made, made it through that. But I also pity the amount of pain that I was going
00:05:08through, um, to, to, to make that jump. And so I don't, I don't know who's listening, but like
00:05:20fear can be useful if you know that you were driven by fear to some degree. And in some ways,
00:05:26it's almost shameful to say it because it was the reason that, that the word that I never want to have
00:05:32used described for me is cowardly is because I behaved like a coward. I was afraid of everything.
00:05:38I was afraid of failing. I was afraid of my dad's judgment. I was afraid of, of everything. And I,
00:05:45the, the flip that made it for me was just using that fear against something bigger was that I was
00:05:52more afraid of not, of, of looking back on my life and never having tried. And I knew that that would be
00:06:00so empty and I would be so filled with regret and that I knew that I would beat myself up over it
00:06:06every single day as I got older, that that existence was, was more terrifying to me than the practical
00:06:17consequences of me taking a step where I would fail. And it sounds, it's very easy for me to say now
00:06:24to you or anyone who's listening, like, of course, the downside is not that big. You'll just sleep on a
00:06:28friend's couch, whatever. But at the time for me, it was everything. And it was all of the status
00:06:35that I had spent all of my time trying to accumulate. I was president of this, president of that. I'd done
00:06:39all the good grades. I had a good job on paper. Um, and so whatever fuel you have, whether it's anger,
00:06:47whether it's shame, whether it's fear, even if you have all of them, like if you know you have them,
00:06:55try and put them behind you to, to get you to run away from it. If it's right now, it's in front of
00:07:02you and it's, it's preventing you from taking the next step. And so it's like, if you can just put it
00:07:06behind you so that you're running away from this, this future, it's like run harder away from the future
00:07:12that your current path is taking you towards that you're afraid of than the short-term path
00:07:18that running away from it is going to run you into. It's like, you either have to be, you know, uh,
00:07:23it's like, um, I'm taking some liberties here. Um, it's like, you can either fear the whip of the,
00:07:32the person behind you or the enemy in front of you. And the direction you face is the one that you fear,
00:07:37the, the least. And so if you know that there's an enemy in front of you and a whip behind you,
00:07:43it's like, you just need to in the short-term increase the pain of the one that you want least.
00:07:49Have you seen succession?
00:07:51Uh, the first season.
00:07:53Okay. So I don't watch it because it's too real for me.
00:07:56So it's, it keeps me up and like, I get, I get too like amped when I watch it because I like it,
00:08:01but I'm like, I can't do this before bed. So I need like vampires and like,
00:08:07yeah, in the final season, Tom is having a conversation with his wife and he says,
00:08:16I wonder if the pain that I would feel without you
00:08:22would be less than the pain that I feel by being with you.
00:08:30And that seems to be what you're talking about here.
00:08:32It's a hundred percent that.
00:08:33And I, you, you talk in retrospect about that period, about what that guy went through.
00:08:37It doesn't sound like pity to me. It sounds like grief.
00:08:41It sounds much closer to grief. Like somebody
00:08:44nearly died or did die or suffered a lot and didn't deserve it.
00:08:47Oh, I think that person totally died.
00:08:50Like the, I don't want to say the man I was, the boy that I was totally died.
00:08:53And I think, I mean, the hardest, the hardest loss that I had to take was the,
00:08:58the boy that I was in my father's eyes, that was living up to his expectations,
00:09:02which is all that I wanted.
00:09:04And so sacrificing that.
00:09:07And it took years and my dad and I are cool. We're great.
00:09:10But like for, for a season, that's what I, I had to sacrifice that person.
00:09:15And it was, all I had wanted was to make him happy.
00:09:18And so, and again, no fault of his own, but that is all I want.
00:09:23And so it's like, I had a tree, I had achieved the dreams that I had as a younger man.
00:09:27And in so doing, it had become my nightmare.
00:09:30And that's why the third point that, that you read about, no one is coming to save you.
00:09:37Everything is your fault.
00:09:38And you have to sacrifice who you are for who you want to become.
00:09:42I think it's so real for me is that you do.
00:09:45And like, like someone's dreams will die.
00:09:48It is yours or theirs.
00:09:50So you just want to make sure that the person who is dreaming for you has bigger
00:09:54dreams for life than you do.
00:09:56And sometimes well-intentioned people, because they want to be practical and they want to be
00:10:01realistic, have smaller dreams for you than you do.
00:10:05And if they have smaller dreams, then you should listen to you and not them.
00:10:10Obviously your dad built a story about what success looks like.
00:10:14Yeah.
00:10:14And you rejected it slowly, but loudly.
00:10:20Now that you're about to have a child, what story are you going to tell that kid?
00:10:25Of that period or?
00:10:26No, this story about what success looks like.
00:10:30Like how certain are you that the story that you tell your son isn't just a new version of the same
00:10:37cage that you had to break out of?
00:10:38It's something that I think a lot about.
00:10:43Um, how do I, you know, the, the child is going to be born into, by the time he has memory, he will be the son of a billionaire.
00:10:53And that's, that's, that's a lot.
00:10:56Um, and in some ways I like, don't wish that on anyone, but I'm, and yet I'm bringing someone into that.
00:11:05Um, which has its own thought circles I won't get into.
00:11:10Um, but I am going to focus him to the degree that I can influence his behavior, um, on.
00:11:23On being courageous.
00:11:26On leaving nothing on the field.
00:11:29I will care endlessly about his effort and very little about the outcomes.
00:11:38Assuming he controlled the controllables and I will hold an incredibly high standard.
00:11:47And it is because I respect him and believe in him and that he has the potential to achieve it.
00:11:54And what's been very difficult for me, cause I haven't, I haven't fully defined this.
00:11:58And maybe I will by the time he's born or by the time he's a little older is, is I've had trouble
00:12:02trying to define what a successful parent looks like and what a successful child look like.
00:12:08Because if we decide, if we define a successful parent by the output of the child,
00:12:13there's a whole hell of a lot of people that have had pretty tough parents that have turned out really
00:12:16good.
00:12:17But then does that mean that the parents are good or bad?
00:12:19I don't know.
00:12:20Um, and the successful child is the successful child that he is happy.
00:12:26I tend to reject that, that definition overall.
00:12:30Is it that he has purpose?
00:12:31I would probably prefer that.
00:12:33Cause I think happiness can be fleeting.
00:12:35Purpose tends to stick a little longer.
00:12:37Um, but at the very end of the day, I think,
00:12:41um, character, which I still just define as just huge sets of behaviors.
00:12:44Um, I want him to be brave and I want him to try his ass off.
00:12:55And if he does that, well, no matter what, he will be good enough for me.
00:13:00But, uh, I will just more so make the commitment that given all the resources that I have, both
00:13:06mental and, and financial, um, I will do the best I can with what I have, um, to give him the maximum
00:13:13possibility of achieving what he wants.
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Key Takeaway

Achieving radical personal change requires sacrificing one's current identity and environment, using fear as fuel to run toward a future that demands more courage than the status quo.

Highlights

  • Changing thinking requires altering the external environment because identical cues and stimuli perpetuate existing cognitive loops.

  • Periods of hardship and uncertainty often precede quantum leaps in multiple life areas.

  • Failure and success share the same path, with failure representing only an earlier exit point.

  • Driven by intense fear during early adulthood, the shift occurred by fearing the regret of inaction more than the potential consequences of failure.

  • Parenting success focuses on cultivating purpose, bravery, and effort rather than prioritizing fleeting happiness or specific external outcomes.

Timeline

Environmental Catalysts for Change

  • Internal change is impossible without altering the external environment.
  • Negative life events like accidents or breakups act as chaos variables that temporarily break established behavioral loops.
  • Hardship acts as a precursor to significant, quantum leaps in personal growth.

The environment acts as a set of cues that trigger specific thinking patterns. When those cues remain constant, cognitive adaptation is prevented. Moments of intense chaos or hardship provide a unique window to overwrite these loops before equilibrium returns.

Overcoming Fear Through Perspective

  • A personal history of high achievement, including a 3.8 GPA and leadership roles, did not prevent extreme fear of joblessness.
  • Fear can be effectively redirected by fearing the regret of never trying more than the potential of failing.
  • The decision-making process relies on evaluating whether the pain of staying the same exceeds the pain of taking a risk.

Despite graduating from Vanderbilt and holding multiple leadership positions, intense fear previously drove all decision-making. This fear was transformed by shifting focus from the immediate, practical consequences of failure to the long-term, agonizing regret of inaction. Facing the future with courage requires choosing the lesser of two fears.

Sacrifice and Identity Death

  • The version of oneself that seeks external approval often must die to make room for personal growth.
  • Successfully achieving the dreams of a younger self can turn those same dreams into a personal nightmare.
  • Individuals should prioritize their own larger vision for life over the smaller, more practical, or realistic dreams others may have for them.

Living purely to meet the expectations of others, particularly parents, creates a psychological cage. To escape this, one must be willing to sacrifice the identity constructed to fulfill those external expectations. Realizing personal purpose often demands the destruction of the boy or girl one used to be.

Parenting and Character Development

  • Parenting goals focus on cultivating bravery and maximum effort rather than specific outcomes.
  • Purpose provides more stable fulfillment than fleeting happiness.
  • Character is defined as a consistent set of behaviors built through high standards.

Parental influence aims to instill courage and a commitment to high effort. By separating the child's worth from specific, controllable outcomes, the focus shifts to character formation. Success is redefined as possessing a sense of purpose and the willingness to try relentlessly.

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