The Type of P*rn Women Actually Prefer

CChris Williamson
Mental HealthBooks & LiteratureMarriage

Transcript

00:00:00what about men being more turned on by visual triggers uh yeah that's another another big sex
00:00:05difference um both sexes are to some degree you know both sexes are interested in good looks in
00:00:10a mate but it's stronger men than in women and the main reason for that is that the traits that
00:00:16we consider good looking are associated with with youthfulness and fertility for both sexes um but
00:00:22men place a greater weight on those traits because because of menopause basically so the fact that
00:00:27um they place more weight on youthfulness in a mate because youthfulness is more closely linked
00:00:33to fertility in women than men because of the fact that women's fertility shuts off about you know
00:00:38two-thirds of the other way through the lifespan yeah so yeah so men much more interested in
00:00:44visual sexual stimuli as psychologists call it it's part of the explanation for the fact that um
00:00:49men are much more avid consumers of porn than women are what is the reason that women are much more avid
00:00:55consumers of romanticity and romance novels than men it's it's an interesting one isn't it so that's
00:01:02the standard sort of differences and consumer preferences that we hear about men are much more
00:01:07into porn than women women are much more into romance novels um now now it is interesting we've
00:01:14talked about the fact that men on average are more interested in casual sex than women and people
00:01:20often assume that the flip side of that is true as well that women are more interested in long-term
00:01:24relationships than men but actually that's not the case uh typically what we find is that men and women
00:01:29are about as interested as as each other in long-term committed relationships in falling in love and
00:01:35falling committed bond with a partner so you haven't re-apportioned the sex drive relationship drive
00:01:42desire from short-term to long-term for women it's just that they don't have this addition that men do
00:01:50of the one night stand exactly right but bearing that in mind to the same degree yeah yeah yeah
00:01:54uh bearing that in mind uh the the fact that women are so much more interested in romance novels
00:02:00is interesting and sort of slightly unexpected you would you might expect that both sexes would be
00:02:06interested in them um so so why it is the case that women are more interested in them i guess
00:02:11evolutionarily speaking i don't know they do seem to be despite the fact that actually men do seem to be
00:02:17very invested in long-term relationships bunch of papers have come out recently actually
00:02:21saying that in a lot of ways men are kind of more more romantic than women they are more lucky to
00:02:27suffer after a breakup fall in love more quickly say i love you more soon exactly exactly so why aren't
00:02:33they more into romance novels i don't know maybe they're just too busy with the with the porn but
00:02:37yeah true i did i mean i sat next to a lady lovely lady floral dress slightly slightly older lady on a
00:02:44flight a few months ago and uh she had a ipad up resting it and it was a big big off font yeah and
00:02:50she was reading some romantic thing and she was getting to the good stuff and uh i mean i couldn't
00:02:58i was like we have legalized we have legalized women reading porn and public in public and it's not
00:03:04i i mean i it was she was having a she seemed to be having a wonderful flight and i got my
00:03:10i was like when someone sits next to me and they've got an ipad i think oh that's that's great because
00:03:15it's going to or whatever the kindle or something it's going to influence me to be not be a degenerate
00:03:19all i wanted to do was put a pair of blinkers on focus on some yeah brain slop stuff i've never i've
00:03:27been meaning for ages as a sort of anthropological excuse it however you want excuse it however you
00:03:33want i haven't got around to doing it i'm going to do it i'm going to read a romance novel at some
00:03:36point i have heard that the general theme is boy meets girl boy is a bit of an arsehole uh girl tames
00:03:43boy and then they live happily ever after and they do involve sex right well yeah i mean there is some
00:03:48sex in them at least there was in us and the one that she was reading yeah exactly um i mean there's
00:03:52some interesting stuff right the number of uh if you have a single a sexual fantasy mental sexual fantasy
00:03:58men will cycle through i think it's between four and six different partners on average during four and
00:04:05six or 46 four and six i think but it depends who you are um whereas for women they tend to have
00:04:11fewer yeah maybe maybe just one now i don't know but i'm going to guess that this would be reflected in
00:04:17romance novels uh in fact i know that this is the case because i've been on the cover of a bunch of
00:04:21them and during those novels at least i would say on average most yeah the women who are the
00:04:30protagonists aren't cycling through multiple male suitors and if they are even if you look at movies
00:04:37movies like the notebook or titanic or whatever it tends to be a a pivot between two different life
00:04:43directions yeah um it's not a kind of ruthless conveyor belt that is closer to sort of the typical
00:04:51male fantasy uh but yeah the the men being more turned on by visual triggers thing i think make makes
00:04:57makes an awful lot of sense i remember in a bad man bussy's book he talks about how there is an area of the
00:05:04brain that exists in men that lights up when they just see something that's remotely sexual a pair of
00:05:11rocks that look like boobs pulling a coin into a vending machine putting a coin into a vending machine
00:05:16you're fucking kidding me although that was a joke i'm not sure there's actually research that kind of
00:05:20surprise me no no likewise there is something penetrative yeah about gambling and it was on top
00:05:26of the risk taking on top that's it um over perception bias as well another great example that i learned
00:05:33from uh bad man by david yeah yeah and that's um uh researched by him and and spearheaded by uh his
00:05:39former student marty hazelton yeah the sexual over perception bias yeah that refers to the fact that uh
00:05:46men are more likely to infer sexual interest on the part of a woman falsely like falsely inferred
00:05:54than women are in the case of men so they're more likely to think yeah she's into me when actually
00:05:58they're just uh in a little dream world and that's not actually true men are more likely to think that
00:06:03women are interested in them than they are and women are more likely to think that men aren't interested
00:06:10in them when they are yeah and i think that the data shows the level of attraction that men assume a
00:06:17woman has toward them is roughly equal to the amount of attraction that the man has toward the woman
00:06:24right right yes right yeah exactly so it seems to be maybe some kind of uh projecting yourself
00:06:29into the world kind of bias yeah so it's a failure of cross-sex mind reading yep but it's also
00:06:34specifically in a in an over perception bias here too and this is smoke detector principle if you as a man
00:06:41had the opportunity to potentially bag an available and attractive woman and because you weren't
00:06:48sufficiently vigilant and detecting it because you underplayed your potential success likelihood as
00:06:54opposed to overplayed it yeah you are going to have an error of missing the opportunity as opposed to
00:06:59the error of an awkward and clumsy rejection exactly and this again i'm just gonna have to keep saying it
00:07:06does not excuse guys in the workplace with the receptionist in the printing room
00:07:11having an awkward fumble that she absolutely didn't give off signals for
00:07:16however yeah this does explain how you get to that situation or why it is that on average
00:07:23men seem to be unless you're the ceo of who was it proctor and gamble who was the one that that indian
00:07:29dude made the whole fucking um uh conspiracy theory about it went insanely viral i bet your fish head
00:07:36asian wife doesn't have these cannons do you remember that golden goldman sachs goldman sachs yasmin's
00:07:42mom works at goldman we should get the inside scoop um uh yeah my guest book is mom is like real real high
00:07:50up at uh at goldman sachs and then there was that huge did you see this thing kick off a couple of
00:07:54months ago i don't know about a month ago or so no uh it just it was a guy me tooing a very very high up
00:08:00um right okay exec yeah a bit of a role at goldman but as soon as the proposed accusations came out there
00:08:09was no it was so rare it was at the most it would have been incredibly extreme yeah for a guy to do yeah
00:08:17yeah yeah yeah and the fact that everybody intuited like really yeah sex differences yeah
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Key Takeaway

Evolutionary differences in reproductive strategies, specifically the smoke detector principle regarding mating opportunities, drive distinct sexual preferences such as men's focus on visual stimuli and women's engagement with romantic narratives.

Highlights

  • Men prioritize youthfulness in mates more than women due to the biological link between youth and female fertility.

  • Men are more avid consumers of pornography, while women are more avid consumers of romance novels.

  • Interest in long-term, committed relationships is roughly equal between men and women, contradicting the assumption that women seek long-term partners more than men.

  • Sexual over-perception bias causes men to frequently infer sexual interest from women when none exists, as an evolutionary strategy to avoid missing mating opportunities.

  • Male sexual fantasies often involve cycling through four to six different partners, whereas female fantasies typically focus on fewer partners.

Timeline

Biological Drivers of Visual Interest

  • Men display higher interest in visual sexual stimuli than women.
  • Visual traits perceived as attractive correlate with youthfulness and fertility.

Both sexes value attractiveness in mates, but men place greater weight on youthful traits. This difference exists because female fertility declines significantly as age increases, while male fertility remains consistent for a longer portion of the lifespan.

Preferences in Media and Relationships

  • Women consume more romance novels, while men consume more pornography.
  • Interest in long-term, committed relationships is similar between both sexes.
  • Male sexual fantasies frequently involve cycling through four to six different partners, contrasting with the more focused narratives found in female-targeted romance media.

While men are often associated with a higher drive for casual, one-night encounters, both sexes show equivalent interest in long-term romantic bonding. Romance novels often depict narratives focused on a single, primary partner rather than the rapid cycling of suitors, reflecting different thematic priorities in sexual fantasy.

Sexual Over-perception Bias

  • Men frequently over-perceive sexual interest from women, while women often under-perceive interest from men.
  • The smoke detector principle explains this bias as an evolutionary trade-off.
  • Missing a mating opportunity results in a higher reproductive cost for men than the cost of an awkward, incorrect advance.

Men often project their own levels of attraction onto women, leading to inaccurate assessments of interest. This cognitive bias functions like a smoke detector, prioritizing false positives—perceiving interest where none exists—to minimize the risk of missing potential mating opportunities.

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