Transcript
00:00:00If school actually prepared us for life, this video wouldn't need to exist.
00:00:05When I graduated, I thought I was ready for life.
00:00:08Drama, I got an A+.
00:00:09Science, I got a B+.
00:00:11Math, A+.
00:00:12Just joking, I didn't get that Asian gene, so unfortunately it was B+ at best.
00:00:17And the communication course?
00:00:19Wait, I didn't have a communication course, did you?
00:00:22I genuinely thought that I was ready for the real world.
00:00:25I could calculate the unknown length of a triangle,
00:00:27but I could not for the life of me share my thoughts during a work meeting,
00:00:31even if I had a brilliant idea.
00:00:33We all left school academically prepared, but socially unprepared.
00:00:38School prioritises memorisation, but life rewards masterful communication.
00:00:43Think about it, just for a moment.
00:00:45What are you doing when you're asking for a promotion?
00:00:48You're communicating.
00:00:49What are you doing when you're navigating difficult conversations with a loved one?
00:00:53You're communicating.
00:00:54What are you doing when you're in the process of buying a new home?
00:00:58You're communicating.
00:00:59And the list just goes on and on and on.
00:01:02So in this video, I'm going to explain why school failed to prepare you for the real world.
00:01:07I'll take you through exactly what I'd teach if I ran a communication fundamentals class in school.
00:01:12And finally, I'll deep dive into the real reason why communication matters more than you think it does.
00:01:19Most teachers learnt the skill of teaching, but they never learnt the skill of communication.
00:01:24I'm sure you can name the one boring teacher that always had you dozing five minutes into the class.
00:01:29They didn't know how to use their voice.
00:01:31They didn't know how to keep you engaged.
00:01:32And they didn't know how to speak in a way that motivated and inspired you to be a better student.
00:01:37So if most teachers never learned this skill, how could they possibly teach it?
00:01:41It's not their fault.
00:01:42Things like emotional intelligence, connection, clarity and confidence,
00:01:45that was not a part of the curriculum.
00:01:47You see, communication requires emotion,
00:01:50vulnerability, real time feedback and practice under pressure.
00:01:54Things that schools don't accommodate for.
00:01:56And if you lived through the COVID-19 pandemic,
00:01:59this universally made the world worse at communication.
00:02:02Because you were locked in your own homes and you were isolated from social interaction,
00:02:07having meetings through a computer screen without cameras on,
00:02:10and sometimes going a full day without talking to anybody.
00:02:13And it's not just the working class that was impacted.
00:02:16With masks on every teacher and student overnight,
00:02:19the kids lost half the data they needed to learn how to communicate well.
00:02:22This was the first traceable incident where we
00:02:24saw the impact of just removing one aspect of communication.
00:02:28Facial expressions.
00:02:31This led to a massive spike in speech and language development issues in children,
00:02:36simply because they weren't getting facial cues from their teachers.
00:02:40And also the people who wore the masks, they used their facial expressions less.
00:02:45Wow, it's hard to talk with this.
00:02:47And by the way, this is not the mask that I wear when I change my daughter's diapers.
00:02:51It's the mask that my wife wears when she changes the poop diapers.
00:02:54Because I wouldn't wear a Hello Kitty one.
00:02:56I'd wear an Iron Man one.
00:02:58But here's the craziest part.
00:02:59Even before COVID, when no one was wearing masks,
00:03:02most teachers weren't fully using the full range of their communication anyway.
00:03:06No wonder we struggled through school.
00:03:08The teachers may as well have been wearing masks.
00:03:11And to be fair to the teachers, they haven't been taught this skill.
00:03:14They never learnt this skill.
00:03:16The education system doesn't value communication skills.
00:03:19It values the content.
00:03:21It values lesson planning.
00:03:22It values their ability to manage the class.
00:03:25No emphasis gets placed on communication during a teacher's learning journey.
00:03:30In a world increasingly filled with screens, social media and AI slop now,
00:03:35we're getting worse at the one thing that life tests us on on a daily basis.
00:03:39Talking to real people.
00:03:40Growing up, English was my third language.
00:03:43I was that kid in class who never raised his hand.
00:03:46Because one, I had an accent.
00:03:48Two, I wasn't able to turn my thoughts into words.
00:03:50And one time when I did finally have the courage to raise my hand,
00:03:54instead of reading the word as public, I said pubic.
00:03:59I remember thinking, wow, this is what dying feels like, man.
00:04:03I had potential, but it was trapped by my inability to communicate.
00:04:08And for the longest time I thought, I'm stuck with this forever.
00:04:11And maybe you've felt the same with your communication.
00:04:14But if there's one thing I want you to take away from this video, it's this.
00:04:17You're not stuck with the way you communicate.
00:04:20The way you speak is just a set of behaviours.
00:04:24Your voice is just a set of behaviours.
00:04:27And if behaviours can change, then so can your voice and the way you speak.
00:04:32Over the last 15 years, I've rebuilt my communication from scratch.
00:04:37Learning everything I could about the voice, communication and public speaking.
00:04:41From singing, to theatre, to improv, to accent reduction classes, and so much more.
00:04:46And now I've been able to share this knowledge with millions of people
00:04:49as an international keynote speaker, a communication skills coach,
00:04:53to help people unlock their voice, to unlock their potential.
00:04:56What I know now, I wish school taught me.
00:04:59And if I built my own school of communication,
00:05:01these are the five fundamental lessons I teach in every single class.
00:05:06Lesson number one, clarity.
00:05:08This is how most adults speak when they're put under pressure.
00:05:12Does this scenario feel familiar to you?
00:05:38I mean, like, oh, gosh, like, he's got everything, obviously, because no one...
00:05:42That's what 90% of meetings sound like with people who can't communicate.
00:05:47Most people ramble because they have no idea what their actual end goal is,
00:05:52what they actually want to get across, and the outcome they actually want.
00:05:56And they end up speaking out loud their thinking process,
00:05:59instead of processing their thinking and then speaking.
00:06:03If you want to speak with clarity, you need to start with intention.
00:06:06And the rule for achieving this is asking yourself this question before every interaction.
00:06:11What do I want this person to think, feel and do?
00:06:15If school has just taught this one question,
00:06:17we'd save thousands of hours of our lives because meetings would now be like this.
00:06:22Boys, this is Eugene, our new team member.
00:06:25Think of him as being a mercenary here to support us in all of our missions.
00:06:30I want you all to feel completely comfortable to ask Eugene for help when you need it.
00:06:34He's ready to back us up.
00:06:35Here's what I want you all to do.
00:06:37Think of one key task Eugene can help you with.
00:06:40All right. Is that all clear?
00:06:41Yeah. All right. Hands in, everyone. Hands in.
00:06:44Hey, no one?
00:06:45Oh, thank God. Thank God one of you came back.
00:06:49The only one that really cares about me.
00:06:51Oh, that's so much better, isn't it?
00:06:53Clarity is the key to being an effective communicator.
00:06:56And that's lesson number one.
00:06:58Lesson number two, emotion.
00:07:00People feel you before they hear you.
00:07:02Communication is 80% emotional tone.
00:07:04That's how you say it.
00:07:05Watch me say the same words with a different emotion.
00:07:08And I want you to notice how it changes the very meaning of the words that I say.
00:07:12We need to talk.
00:07:13We need to talk.
00:07:15I'm so sorry for your loss.
00:07:17I'm so sorry for your loss.
00:07:19You got a B+ in math?
00:07:21You got the B+ in the math?
00:07:25You the Asian or you the Asian?
00:07:27You want me to kill you?
00:07:29I kill you, man.
00:07:31I get points for the Asian prop too, right?
00:07:34Pete, put this back on set.
00:07:35Now, that last one that I did, the example with my mum,
00:07:39that's definitely not a repressed childhood memory leaking out through my skits.
00:07:43Let's move on.
00:07:44Can you see how when you change the emotion, it changes the meaning of what you say?
00:07:49Even if you use the exact same words.
00:07:51So make sure when you're communicating that the tone,
00:07:54the tonality of your message matches the emotion of your voice.
00:07:58Otherwise, miscommunication is bound to happen.
00:08:00And the fastest way to control the emotion in your voice is by you changing
00:08:04and controlling your facial expressions.
00:08:06When your face is expressive, your voice becomes alive.
00:08:10But when your face is dead, your voice just flatlines.
00:08:14Lesson three, structure.
00:08:16School gave us essays, a damn lot of them, but it did not give us real world structure.
00:08:21This is a situation that will happen inevitably all the time in your career.
00:08:26You'll be put on the spot with a difficult question.
00:08:28And without structure, you lose your train of thought, you start to ramble,
00:08:31and then you're going to speak in circles.
00:08:32And then as a result, lose credibility.
00:08:34The fastest way to speak with structure is by using frameworks.
00:08:37And let me give you an example of how it works.
00:08:39The human brain is crazy.
00:08:40You've got so many thoughts going on in your mind.
00:08:42And the moment someone asks you a question, if you speak immediately,
00:08:45then you're speaking from that point and that moment of chaos.
00:08:49And then you start to speak your thinking and then that destroys your credibility.
00:08:53What a framework does is it creates a funnel
00:08:56and it allows you to distill a meaningful piece of communication
00:09:01that is clear, that is concise and that's coherent.
00:09:04And when you speak in this way, it levels up your credibility.
00:09:07There are so many different frameworks that you can learn
00:09:10to help you in many different situations.
00:09:12And the moment you find yourself in any situation,
00:09:14once you know all of these frameworks, you can pick the right framework
00:09:17and use it in the right situation to distill a meaningful piece of communication.
00:09:21And I've actually filmed and created a free two hour class focusing on just this one lesson.
00:09:27In this training, I'm going to teach you three of the most powerful communication frameworks
00:09:31to help you speak with more clarity, more conviction and impact.
00:09:34So you stop rambling when you're feeling nervous and when you're put on the spot.
00:09:37If you want to access that, just click the link in the description
00:09:39or scan the QR code on screen.
00:09:41Lesson number four, presents.
00:09:43Ow, not these type of presents, Peter.
00:09:48Not these ones, I mean presents.
00:09:51Think of presents as your whole communication aura.
00:09:55It's how you're making people feel when you're delivering the words.
00:09:58Again, it's not just what you say.
00:10:00It's how you say it.
00:10:01It's how you present yourself when you're saying it.
00:10:04It's made up of four things.
00:10:06Volume, posture, melody, pauses.
00:10:10Just look at my communication here.
00:10:11You know, presence is really important
00:10:15because when you have like, you know, good presence,
00:10:18it just like radiates magnetism.
00:10:20I just think it's really critical, right?
00:10:26So, yeah.
00:10:27Now I want you to see me with presents.
00:10:31Shoulders back, breathing in deeply, more melody, voice warm and grounded.
00:10:37And that's what's going to make you more magnetic when you have more presence.
00:10:41Damn, did you see the difference?
00:10:44Did you hear the difference?
00:10:46Did you feel the difference?
00:10:47And as you do this, you'll improve your communication aura.
00:10:52And the last lesson I wish school spent more time on is lesson number five, connection.
00:10:57If someone's going through a hard time like a breakup and you walk in like this.
00:11:00Hey, party, Peter, what's going on?
00:11:04You're looking great, brother.
00:11:06Here, give this a blow.
00:11:07Let's take a selfie together.
00:11:11Yeah, in that situation, you just basically emotionally punch them in the face.
00:11:16If you want to learn how to truly connect with people,
00:11:19you need to understand this foundational rule of communication.
00:11:22Meet people where they are, then lead them to where you want to go.
00:11:26School never taught us how to pick up on how someone's really feeling.
00:11:30But it's honestly the difference between feeling heard or feeling ignored.
00:11:34See, in that scenario, Pete was feeling sad from the breakup.
00:11:37And if I wanted to connect with him, I'd first have to meet him where he currently is.
00:11:41I'd let Peter take an emotional breath.
00:11:43And then I'd ask him, how's he feeling?
00:11:45I'd even share how I've been in this situation before.
00:11:48And I'd let him know that I'm here for him if he wants to talk.
00:11:51Now that I've met him where he is, I don't want him or I to stay in this energy.
00:11:56So now I can lead him to where I want to go.
00:11:58A different emotional space.
00:12:00When you do this, they're way more receptive to whatever you want to talk to them about.
00:12:05Whereas most of us don't do this, we just talk about what we want from the very start
00:12:09without being aware of what the other person's even feeling in that moment.
00:12:12This is the difference between average communicators and masterful communicators.
00:12:17They know how to connect with anyone regardless of the situation they're in.
00:12:22I want to reiterate why learning these five lessons is more important than you think.
00:12:26Firstly, your communication has a direct impact on your income.
00:12:29In a 2023 study on interpersonal communication,
00:12:33it found that people who had stronger communication skills
00:12:36reported higher work performance and greater professional growth.
00:12:39Which, surprise, surprise, is directly tied to your pay.
00:12:43Number two, your career opportunities.
00:12:45You can be a 10 out of 10 with your technical skills.
00:12:48But if your communication skills are a 3 out of 10,
00:12:51do you think the world and the workplace perceives you to be a 10 out of 10 or a 3 out of 10?
00:12:54A 3 out of 10.
00:12:56The reality is you're only as good as you can communicate.
00:12:59There's a reason employers list communication skills as the number one soft skill they look for.
00:13:04And let me correct them, it's actually not a soft skill.
00:13:08It's an essential human skill.
00:13:10Number three, relationships.
00:13:12A 2020 study on couples showed that communication competence,
00:13:16things like empathy, expression and active listening,
00:13:18had a strong positive correlation with relationship satisfaction.
00:13:22Whether it's your partner, whether it's your children or your friends or your co-worker,
00:13:26clearer communication creates deeper bonds.
00:13:28And the list goes on.
00:13:30And again, communication is the one thing school never prepared us for.
00:13:33Yet life finds a way to test you on these skills every single day at every point of your career.
00:13:39The moment you learn this skill, your entire life opens up.
00:13:43Your relationships shift.
00:13:45Your opportunities start to grow.
00:13:47And your confidence, it starts to skyrocket.
00:13:49Look, school prepared you for exams, not real life.
00:13:53But you're here now and I make these videos on my YouTube channel to teach you the rest.
00:13:59And if you want to go deeper, join me for my free two-hour class where I teach you the
00:14:03three frameworks to help you speak with more structure, clarity and confidence.
00:14:07And that's it.
00:14:08You've just completed your induction class for communication.
00:14:11The one you should have had in school.
00:14:13That's a gold star for you.
00:14:15I can't wait to see you in the next class.
00:14:17But before this, you have detention.
00:14:19And in detention, you must watch this next video.