Transcript
00:00:00On the topic of sexism, Freya, I'd like to put you on the spot a bit at the moment.
00:00:04They call me a sexist.
00:00:05I would include you.
00:00:06Well, we'll see.
00:00:09I want to ask you a few questions.
00:00:10You've been described as the voice of Gen Z women.
00:00:13So this would be very interesting to get your opinion on these questions.
00:00:17So I'm going to read them out to you.
00:00:18So Tanya, I already know what you think.
00:00:20So is it closer to sexist towards men or women to believe the following things?
00:00:28One, women have a superior moral sensibility.
00:00:31Sexist towards men, I would say.
00:00:35Okay.
00:00:36Women have a quality of purity few men possess.
00:00:39Sexist towards men.
00:00:41Women have a more refined sense of culture and taste.
00:00:45Sexist towards men.
00:00:46Okay, full house.
00:00:47Sexist towards men.
00:00:48Next set of questions.
00:00:50We're almost done.
00:00:51Do you think it would be a good or bad thing
00:00:53if men mostly agreed with the sentiment of the following statements?
00:00:57A good woman should be set on a pedestal.
00:00:59Uh, good.
00:01:04Okay.
00:01:04Women should be cherished and protected by men.
00:01:07Good.
00:01:08Men should sacrifice to provide for women.
00:01:11Good.
00:01:12In a disaster, women need to be rescued first.
00:01:15Good.
00:01:15Every man ought to have a woman he adores.
00:01:18Good.
00:01:18Men are complete without women.
00:01:20Or men are incomplete without women.
00:01:23Yeah, good.
00:01:25Despite accomplishment, men are incomplete without women.
00:01:28Yeah, good.
00:01:29And people are often happy without romance.
00:01:32Bad.
00:01:35Okay.
00:01:35You are a massive benevolent sexist.
00:01:37Those are the items on the benevolent sexism scale.
00:01:42And I polled all my followers on this and they, like you, believed that the
00:01:48statements were either sexist to men or a good thing, right?
00:01:52So it kind of begs this question of what is this scale measuring?
00:01:56So this is an idea that Tanya and I and some other colleagues are working on
00:01:59that we call the Mismeasurement of Men.
00:02:02Now that title is strategic because there was a famous book called The Mismeasure of
00:02:07Men by Stephen Jay Gould, who was very critical of evolutionary psychology and
00:02:11evolutionary approaches to human behavior.
00:02:14And we think it's the precise opposite that's happening in scale development in
00:02:18psychology now that a lack of insight into evolutionary psychology and just
00:02:23science in general is creating these crazy problematic scales.
00:02:28So you've got scales that are measuring toxic masculinity, benevolent sexism and
00:02:35male sexual entitlement that are actually problematic in so many ways.
00:02:39But one of the ways is they're measuring awareness of facts about the world.
00:02:44So one of the items is women are often attracted to muscularity and dominance.
00:02:50And that's taken as evidence of toxic masculinity.
00:02:54And there's no attitude added on to that inference.
00:02:58It's just, do you know that that's sometimes the case?
00:03:00And it is sometimes the case.
00:03:02And these scales, they're like what I call the Cathy Newman of scales.
00:03:08They require an extra inference about the implication of agreeing with the statement.
00:03:14So you believe that women deserve to be protected.
00:03:17Oh, so what you're really saying is they should
00:03:19have their autonomy limited to keep them safe for their own good.
00:03:23And it's like that's not measured.
00:03:24So it's a total mismeasurement of men.
00:03:27And it also pathologizes women's own preferences.
00:03:30So women have strong preferences for protection and provisioning.
00:03:34Yet men care about being seen as attractive to women.
00:03:36So they're going to prioritize that over being seen as sexist.
00:03:40So it's a huge problem we see.
00:03:42But yeah, sorry to tell you if you're a man.
00:03:44So is that the same as internalized misogyny?
00:03:47Same concept?
00:03:48Not quite the same.
00:03:48So benevolent sexism is one end of the scale of what's called ambivalent sexism.
00:03:54On one end of the scale, they have hostile sexism, which is like direct antipathy towards
00:03:58women to be like, oh, women are trash, basically, like really direct and obvious.
00:04:03Whereas benevolent sexism is this more subtle kind of infantilizing of women.
00:04:08Which I believe could be a real concept.
00:04:12But when I looked under the hood at these items that were used to measure it,
00:04:16I couldn't believe it.
00:04:17I just thought that they're absurd.
00:04:19Well, that reminds me of the New Statesmen piece because
00:04:22the New Statesmen piece basically concluded that liberal women are unhappy.
00:04:26And then everybody was basically, we spoke about this.
00:04:30They were saying that this is no one's spoken about what's going on with liberal women.
00:04:34This is new.
00:04:35Like the New Statesmen are the first to have the balls to say it.
00:04:41No, but the interesting thing is, is that I sort of get viewed with the internal misogyny
00:04:47thing because I will say the same thing, which is liberal women are unhappy.
00:04:52But I'll also say it's because they have these unmet needs.
00:04:54It's because they want to belong.
00:04:56And it's like a compassionate worldview that I think women want to be protected.
00:05:00They want to feel like they're safe and stable and all of these things.
00:05:04But then I get the, that's a sexist point of view, but the New Statesmen can present it
00:05:09and say young women are unhappy and draw different conclusions.
00:05:13And then it's not a sexist concern.
00:05:14I told you, your female privilege has been revoked.
00:05:15You don't have the female privilege that you once thought you did.
00:05:19Because I'm white.
00:05:20Because you're white, because you're right-of-center.
00:05:23Yeah.
00:05:23I then don't get treated as a woman at all.
00:05:28No, you're an honorary man.
00:05:30Congratulations.
00:05:30It's three on one.
00:05:31So in the literature, there's this kind of confusion about, oh, women are perplexingly
00:05:38attracted to benevolent sexism.
00:05:39And this is like a problem.
00:05:41It's an inconvenient finding.
00:05:43But when you look at the way the items are written, it's needless because I think women
00:05:47are attracted to men who believe women should be protected.
00:05:50But I don't think they're attracted to men who would add on the extra inference and would
00:05:55say, oh, because women need to be protected, they need to have their rights lifted for
00:05:59their own good.
00:05:59So if you had the item written in a proper way and the scale designed in a proper way,
00:06:04you would actually have no problematic attraction to benevolent sexism.
00:06:07Do you remember that video of the two travelers in Thailand?
00:06:12And a guy pulls out a knife.
00:06:13It's CCTV footage.
00:06:15I think I have seen it.
00:06:16Yeah, it went super, super viral.
00:06:18And all of the replies and all of the quote tweets of it were, go, he's trash.
00:06:22So this guy pulls out a knife and he's trying to steal the woman's bag.
00:06:24And she fights him off.
00:06:25And the guy hides behind a fucking pillar.
00:06:27The dude hides behind a pillar.
00:06:29So there's two things that are sort of, yeah, icky, right?
00:06:32And we all have this sense that you should protect.
00:06:35Dude, what was that fucking thing that I said?
00:06:37I put this in the group chat six months ago and I fucking called it.
00:06:40And I was right about the fact that women would be less, there would be more.
00:06:46Oh, here it is.
00:06:46Look at this.
00:06:47Oh no.
00:06:48So that guy's got a knife.
00:06:51Homeboy hides.
00:06:54Homeboy hides behind the pillar while she is fighting him.
00:06:58And there's another dude that just comes over and maybe he's with the guy.
00:07:02And then this guy with the fucking...
00:07:03An evidently sexist man comes over and thinks the woman cannot defend herself.
00:07:08And what a sexist son of a bitch.
00:07:10I know.
00:07:10What a pig.
00:07:11What an absolute pig.
00:07:12Is it the dude on the bike?
00:07:13I think it's a...
00:07:14He comes in with a helmet.
00:07:16Yeah.
00:07:16Dude, a helmet to the head.
00:07:18To help.
00:07:19Yeah.
00:07:20So almost everybody was universal in this.
00:07:24That guy that's hiding behind the pillar is...
00:07:26What are you doing, dude?
00:07:29Come on.
00:07:29Like, yeah, it's a knife and fucking scary or whatever, but like do something.
00:07:32Women's preference for protection is seriously strong.
00:07:36So I ran a poll asking which would have a stronger effect.
00:07:39This was my idea.
00:07:40Don't fucking say I would run a poll.
00:07:42This is my idea.
00:07:44Okay.
00:07:44I was even surprised by the results.
00:07:46Women said it would have a stronger effect on their attractiveness to a man if they found
00:07:52out he was unwilling to protect them than it would be if he cheated on her in a one night stand.
00:07:57Yeah.
00:07:58That was really strong.
00:07:59I kind of wonder if maybe that's one factor in why women aren't interested in men nowadays
00:08:05is like men don't get to display those abilities.
00:08:07Like if we're not...
00:08:08No one's coming back from war.
00:08:09Yeah.
00:08:09If we're not seeing men defending our groups or hunting, you don't get to see the value
00:08:14of male form and ability or the display of it.
00:08:16What I'm starting to wonder is if women even realize how much stronger men are.
00:08:22When I ask my students, I present this sex difference in upper body strength and they're
00:08:27surprised and I'm like, what?
00:08:29Yeah.
00:08:30There's this viral trend on TikTok apparently now where it's like asking couples to ask the
00:08:36guy to go into the challenge of putting her in handcuffs in 30 seconds.
00:08:40And they're like, it's the greatest foreplay ever.
00:08:42It's like women get so turned down by it.
00:08:45While realizing the strength difference is crazy.
00:08:48Yeah.
00:08:48Well, I mean, that's the thing that Andrew Thomas was talking about.
00:08:51Does Andrew do Krav Maga or some shit?
00:08:53He does some kind of some martial artsy thing, right?
00:08:58And he's saying that the ability to turn on and turn off aggression is really rare.
00:09:05Like most guys, the aggression sort of bleeds out in the same way as your level of obsession
00:09:10and how much you pay attention to patterns is great when you're trying to write new piece,
00:09:14but is not so great when you're dealing with your intimate relationship or whatever.
00:09:18Guys that are aggressive are good.
00:09:22If homeboy comes on with a knife, forget running away.
00:09:24He's licking his lips.
00:09:25The guy's like, oh, waiting my entire life and then just pulls out an armory of things
00:09:29to kill him with.
00:09:30Everyone's like Tim Kennedy, but very few men have learned to turn that off.
00:09:35And I think what's got crossed over a little bit here is that women love the idea of a man
00:09:42who is able to be aggressive, but never to them.
00:09:47And unfortunately the guys, I mean, how many MMA fighters have had like awful abuse, domestic
00:09:56abuse situations that you've selected for a guy who is, he is going to really, really stand
00:10:02up for me.
00:10:03Well, yeah, but maybe that's also, that's not to say that all fucking MMA fighters are going
00:10:06to be home abusers, but this has happened a bunch of times.
00:10:09You go, it's hard to turn that aggression off.
00:10:11And the protector thing is great, but the just raw aggression thing carries on.
00:10:17It's a trade-off women have to make and it's predictable the ecologies in which they'll
00:10:22actually select a really formidable mate.
00:10:24And it's a predictable based on the individual differences in that woman's size.
00:10:28Smaller women in those dangerous ecologies tend to have a stronger preference for a really
00:10:33strong aggressive form.
00:10:34What would a dangerous ecology in the modern world be like?
00:10:36So, I mean, there's rough areas of, I used to live in Birmingham.
00:10:40There's rough areas of it.
00:10:41It's as rough as it gets.
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