Transcript
00:00:00i'm sorry it's taken so long but merch is nearly here this friday the 31st of july at 12 midday
00:00:05central time or 6 p.m uk time the brand new modern wisdom merch goes live head to mwmerch.com now to
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00:00:15only got six days to be able to buy so head to mwmerch.com now i just did a seven day silent
00:00:20meditation retreat and one of the uh pitfalls that people tumble into when you're doing that
00:00:26much meditation like multiple multiple like big sits per day for seven days without talking is when
00:00:33difficult emotions come up they use the releasing technique inside of meditation to not engage with
00:00:41the emotion as opposed to embodying what they call conductivity conductivity is allowing the emotion to
00:00:46move through you and if it makes you want to laugh if it makes you want to cry if it makes you feel
00:00:51great if it makes you feel horrible like if it arises and then you sort of release it from you
00:00:57by kind of it's a kind of pushing away it's a sort of prophylactic um that's i'm sitting i'm working on
00:01:03my mind this is me being with my thoughts i'm not being distracted it's like yeah but there's still
00:01:09little pernicious ways that you can use even the most positive habit as a coping mechanism to get away
00:01:16from something 100 percent yeah i'm sure you're familiar with the work of carl jung and i just
00:01:23think every person needs to read some of his work at some point in their life but specifically about
00:01:29like sort of confronting yourself and you know your own shadow and i think that's kind of related to
00:01:34what you're saying because carl jung was was believed that for a lot of people the real danger in humans was
00:01:41not the evil that they're capable of but the evil that they're denying in themselves and evil is kind
00:01:47of there's kind of like an ambiguous meaning there in the sense that evil could just be a bad habit but
00:01:55if i go to the gym that is allowing me to steer myself away from that bad habit or it's or it's
00:02:00becoming a mask and it's this is all happening subconsciously so it's very hard to diagnose it
00:02:06but i think one of the most important things that people need to go through in their life is
00:02:10constantly confront themselves like i very very recently in trying to start this and it's almost
00:02:15like psychological suicide in a way that's why it's so scary and dangerous is because you're basically
00:02:20trying to expose yourself to yourself which potentially is harder than exposing yourself to
00:02:25other people right and you're like have x y and z issue now how am i trying to avoid addressing these
00:02:32issues and it's like if you can't confront that shadow and then embrace that shadow then it's going
00:02:38to control your life subconsciously you won't even realize it think about how uncomfortable it is to
00:02:44have done something that you have praised yourself for that was hard to do to then have to face the
00:02:50realization that that was maybe a very sophisticated coping strategy yes like it's not a surprise that
00:02:56people don't really really want to face it i had this conversation last night you know you ask people
00:03:01what's your why why do you do why do you work so hard why do you build this business why did you start
00:03:05to do content why do why why why why and there's always a kind of pr answer there's like a publicly
00:03:11acceptable one it's usually quite positive some it's uh even if it's negatively uh origin it's got a
00:03:21positive outcome it's like the underdog story yeah um but for a lot of people it's like i didn't feel
00:03:29love as a kid unless i performed and i now fear that people are going to abandon me if i'm not working
00:03:36as hard as i can all the time yeah or i was terrifying terrified in my loneliness and i realized that if
00:03:45i'm useful that's kind of the same as being loved because people want me they don't need me yeah
00:03:51they want me and that's a good good enough proxy so even in your wise you can kind of get to a level
00:03:57of awareness which is like ah you know i like to do this thing and i felt this way in school and now
00:04:01this is what i'm doing with my life you go okay what if we take it just at a level or two deeper than
00:04:06that the same thing about going to the gym why do you go to the gym but almost everybody i think
00:04:11now when you look at someone who is an extreme in anything uh an extreme in terms of wealth an
00:04:16extreme in terms of beauty an extreme in terms of competence an extreme in terms of smart and
00:04:20intellect i would guess that almost in every situation the reason that those people have
00:04:27developed that is because they feel the opposite the person who's made themselves very beautiful
00:04:32feels ugly on the inside the person that has made themselves very wealthy always feels like they're
00:04:36not enough the person who's made themselves very competent often feels like they're powerless the
00:04:40person who's created all of this skill and these connections often feels like they're alone yeah
00:04:45like you are that shadow and it just some people turn it into something beautiful and alchemize it and
00:04:51obviously they get praised by everybody externally and they can kind of kid themselves and also as you
00:04:57said it's psychological suicide like who wants to it's like dude i'm living in bliss you're telling
00:05:01me i already overcame this thing that sucked and now i've turned into something that's great yeah you're
00:05:07asking me to like go deeper reveal this fucking veil from myself to now make this thing that is undeniably
00:05:13and objectively good my physique my money my intellect my beauty and the way that i bring my skills to the
00:05:20world and you're asking me to go deeper and kind of completely remove that comforting like disbelief yeah i mean
00:05:30it's it's a story as old as time with you projecting the opposite of what you are in the sense that oh if
00:05:37i lack this thing i must let everyone know that i have that thing and it's interesting because i don't
00:05:45even i don't know if it was on your podcast but naval ravikant was talking about you should live life
00:05:49like a lion you know lions when they're hunting they are 110 effort really viciously going after it
00:05:55and then when they're not they're they're resting they're not really doing they're kind of
00:05:59lazy for lack of better terms and the interesting thing about that is i think that's what a lot of
00:06:06viciously ambitious entrepreneurs or whatever endeavor you have in life that's what a lot of people are
00:06:13doing it's like you have the one side that is the it's like yin and yang balance of the world like we
00:06:18different cultures over time have sort of established this sort of reality of the world
00:06:23that we live in where you know it's stark contrast so there's certainly a psychological aspect of that
00:06:30and it's just so the the problem is with everyone is it's so hard to to go deep into your subconscious
00:06:37and like really grasp what you believe a thing that i talk a lot about on my youtube channel is the
00:06:42concept of self-belief i think self-belief is perhaps the most important thing especially for a young
00:06:47person when they're trying to pursue whatever goal they have in life whatever career even in finding
00:06:53romantic partners in friendships whatever it is you have to believe in yourself because if you don't
00:06:58believe in yourself no one else is going to believe in you and the problem is you're trying to convince
00:07:03yourself when you're the one that is the most critical of yourself so you are the most aware of all your flaws
00:07:11and all of a sudden it's like now i need to almost brainwash myself into i'm capable of doing xyz i
00:07:17really like alex or mosey's advice on that where it's like self-belief is not going to just spawn out
00:07:23of nowhere right you have to do something which creates evidence which then not tricks your brain but
00:07:29convinces your brain that you're the type of person that's capable of doing that once you establish the
00:07:35identity once you actually have the identity that's all the momentum that you need like with me with
00:07:40social media it's really straightforward you start it you suck at it i posted a thousand one hundred
00:07:45sixty two videos before i got one thousand followers i sucked the month after i got a thousand followers
00:07:50i got a hundred thousand followers so it was just this huge like i was really a student of the game like
00:07:55i was genuinely trying and the problem was it was like didn't have that identity didn't have that
00:08:00identity i'm like i just got to keep throwing stuff at the wall that's my only that's the only thing i
00:08:03could think of at the time so i keep throwing stuff at the wall all of a sudden you know it's law of
00:08:08averages chance something's gonna hit okay that hits okay maybe it's somewhat possible then slowly but
00:08:14surely things start to hit they hit at a higher percentage all of a sudden i'm like wait i'm the type
00:08:18of guy that could go and record a video in my parents basement and it gets hundreds of thousands
00:08:22millions of views and that just changed my identity and now i'm like oh that's i can totally do this now
00:08:28the interesting thing is people want to speed run the first thousand videos that get no plays same
00:08:33thing on the show it took 400 episodes and three and a bit years for us to hit a hundred thousand subs
00:08:43wow and then in the next 400 episodes we did like three million subs yeah exponential growth yeah um
00:08:51and everybody wants to just get to the point where the growth is already exponential something i've
00:08:56kind of come to realize is the opportunity you don't want the opportunity before you're ready for it
00:09:01and you're ready for it far later than you think you are i got to go on rogan's show the first time
00:09:08the back end of 2022 and i think i'd done about 600 episodes at that point and we were maybe at
00:09:15million and a half subs something like that and i was saying for a long time to myself like you deserve
00:09:23to be in the room with the big boys i think that this show adds something to the world that's really
00:09:26beautiful i think that you're having conversations that aren't being done elsewhere you should be in
00:09:34that room but i shouldn't have been and if i'd been given the opportunity before i was given the
00:09:37opportunity i wouldn't have been ready for it and the desire for people to want to speed run it and to
00:09:42not have what jack butcher calls latent leverage like you've just accumulated accumulated accumulated
00:09:47and that skill that you do like staying ready meaning that you don't need to get ready uh that is
00:09:53what unlocks it when something finally hits because if it hit 30 videos in and your next video was at
00:10:00the quality of someone that had done 31 videos like that was your chance yeah blew it because you
00:10:05weren't ready so point speed running that interesting point on the um i guess like fake it until you make
00:10:13it ish approach uh i had this idea for a while that i'm kind of the poster boy for uh imposter syndrome
00:10:22and there is a fake until you make it thing but there is an alternative which is make it until you
00:10:29believe it and that is just developing the stack of proof so high that no matter how much you don't
00:10:36believe in yourself it just crushed under the weight of evidence yeah does that make sense yeah 100 well
00:10:42i think those things go hand in hand i don't think it's one or the other i think you do you're faking it
00:10:46till you make it you're just trying to get up so many shots to then create the evidence the whole goal
00:10:51is to transition nothing to something and you're like can i do this i don't know if i can do this
00:10:57and you just show up every single day something has to hit eventually it has to hit you know i was
00:11:03helping some people try i was trying to encourage my friends and people that i met online that were
00:11:09smaller creators like i'm not any giant creator by any means but i was like well this is what i learned
00:11:15it's that you're not going to know what you're doing i still don't know what i'm doing but you
00:11:19start to pick up the pieces it's kind of like socrates philosophy i know that i know nothing you
00:11:24have to accept that there's so much that you don't know but then you also need to accept that there's
00:11:30so much that you'll never know that's just the human condition so i'm gonna try the best that i can
00:11:35anyways and see what happens and then all of a sudden the winds start to pile up and all of a sudden
00:11:40like you said you're just crushed by the weight of it so in a way you are faking it till you make it and
00:11:43in a way you are making it until you believe it yes it's kind of like both and you're right i think
00:11:50the reason that i wanted to say it i said it the day that i did the biggest live show i've ever done
00:11:57which was the event of apollo in london that was three and a half thousand people and i was
00:12:02shitting myself and before i went on this guy at the meet and greet that we do beforehand for vvip
00:12:08ticket people said do you ever think that you would be here like no like i'm just the poster child
00:12:17for imposter syndrome but the reason i wanted to that felt quite exposing to me as i was about to
00:12:24like supposedly go out on stage with a guy that's got it all together and the show went amazing and
00:12:29standing o and all the rest of it like it was brilliant but i feel like for some people
00:12:36believing that you need to have self-belief stops you from actually just doing the thing
00:12:42and it would be easier for you to go i can just show up with no self-belief yeah i can do it when
00:12:49i'm tired when i don't know what i'm doing when i'm sure that it's going to go wrong when no one around
00:12:54me believes in me when everybody's mocking me for trying it like i can just show up and do it anyway
00:13:03and eventually the winds come yeah i think at some point the the self-belief when people are like you
00:13:11need self-belief i think it's true but it's not doesn't have to be true at the beginning it's a
00:13:15journey it's a character arc every tv show movie that you watch every book you've ever read always
00:13:21starts with the main character in somehow some way being a little bit shaky with their confidence not
00:13:26knowing what's going on and then over time they just develop into that i'm curious what are your thoughts
00:13:32on destiny and fate like do you think that you have sort of a a path that you're meant to follow and that
00:13:40you're gonna get there i'm i'm always interested to hear people's opinions on it because i've heard
00:13:45people that are religious people that are not religious people that have grown up in different
00:13:49cultures and it's i can't really find a trend or like a pattern there where oh i'm religious so i
00:13:56don't believe in fate or i'm not religious i do believe in fate i'm always curious so what do you think
00:14:01about that fate's an interesting one because the personality trait that i care about most is agency
00:14:12sovereignty over my own experience yeah the ability to choose yeah i happen to life life doesn't happen
00:14:17to me but then there's times when you're happening to life but it feels like you're kind of dancing to
00:14:23the wrong tune a little bit you've branched off into some other universe that wasn't quite right and
00:14:28things aren't flowing as easily and your gut and your heart and your head don't feel as aligned in
00:14:34the same way and there's three areas i think that don't remove agency but are interesting to think
00:14:40about so victim mentality life happens to me agency mentality i happen to life and resonance mentality
00:14:49life happens through me and that like being able to open yourself up to what happens like it comes
00:14:55with a degree of releasing as well and i know you talk about having fun with the process yeah not being
00:14:59not gripping things too tightly because i happen to life causes you to take things very very seriously
00:15:05and that's great and especially in the beginning you need to do a thousand videos you need to study
00:15:10all of the other creators and be obsessive but after a while you actually because of the
00:15:15accumulation of all of your experience the tool that got you here isn't the one that gets you your
00:15:20blue belt or your purple belt isn't the one that gets you to black belt and after a while you
00:15:23actually need to learn to let go i'm sure you've seen the videos of harland walking around yeah the
00:15:29pitch yes just what like like a lion lazy like straight up lazy like distracted riding rodeos and
00:15:37stuff before he goes on but when he needs to turn it on he turns it on and i don't think you can turn
00:15:42it on that much if you're gripping too tightly yeah so when it comes to fate uh there's certainly
00:15:51there's certainly times where stuff happens in life and like there is no way that i actually
00:15:56made this happen like the convergence of the confluence of all of this stuff is way too
00:16:01serendipitous yeah and then there's other times where you go i need to swim into the stream here
00:16:08like i'm brushing up against the grain of life and it requires me to like steal myself and the ability
00:16:13to move between those two to kind of like dance when you need to and like i'm feeling my rhythm here a
00:16:18little bit here and things are sort of moving nicely and i can release a little bit more and it's like
00:16:22i need to batten down the hatches and go in full demon mode and that balance between the two i think
00:16:27is is like it's a skill and all of this sounds incredibly fluffy and kind of unobjective and yet
00:16:34almost everybody has a sense of what it feels like to be in flow with life yeah to be in resonance with
00:16:39life so call it what you want i'm aware that on the internet it's not as rational and as provable and as
00:16:46derivative from metrics as you would like it to be yeah and yet everybody's felt experience knows that
00:16:52this thing can be true yeah i mean metaphysics are fascinating but i really like the way you're
00:16:57talking about agency i really like what you said about earlene holland because i literally just made
00:17:00a video about about him and i don't do you know the uh olympic skater alissa lou no she was she's got
00:17:07like the different colored hair like the pattern she went insanely viral okay olympics but her whole thing
00:17:14why everyone was so drawn to her and attracted to her was she's just fun maxing as they would say
00:17:20like she literally oh i remember she wasn't she the lady somebody asked her did she win before
00:17:26and did somebody ask her like how is it going to feel like do you feel the pressure to win again
00:17:30and she was like i'm i'm just lucky to be here she was like i'm lucky to be here i'm detached from the
00:17:36outcome but attached to myself or so i think i'm i'm paraphrasing that but she did figure i i think
00:17:44she did figure skating for many years was obviously really high performer and then she quit and i think
00:17:49the the narrow the narrative online is that she didn't like it anymore and then she came back to
00:17:55it and then like within a year or two goes to the olympics wins gold and in all of the videos she's just
00:18:01really soaking like i don't think you can fake her joy like she's just enjoying it so much so i i just
00:18:07made a video that i'm going to post where earlene holland is very similar to alissa lune like he's
00:18:11having fun he had an interview and they were like oh what like some question about france and he was
00:18:16like well to be honest i think france will win the whole thing and then he he's like i'm just happy to
00:18:22be here whatever that's not really what you'll hear from a competitor normally competitors are supposed
00:18:25to be like i believe in myself and i'm going all the way but he's just authentic and he's just like
00:18:29having fun it's interesting you talk about yeah gripping i i almost i call it suffocating the
00:18:36experience to death so when you want something so badly to happen it's simply not going to happen
00:18:43because what you're doing is and once again this is getting into that metaphysical there's not really
00:18:47an objective it's hard to prove it but the best way i can describe it is that you're operating from a
00:18:52frequency of abundance you are not forcing anything to come to you it's flowing that's why people talk
00:18:58about the flow state it's like your brain's on autopilot you're not you're not really like it's
00:19:03not that you're not intentional you're just not like hyper focused on one specific thing all the time
00:19:11because as you said you can't be a hundred percent all the time because you have a finite amount of
00:19:17resources right so time energy effort mental capacity whatever you want to call it it's
00:19:22interesting because i used to be when i started out i was recording 12 to 14 videos a day and i would
00:19:28get up i would do my school work i would go to gym and the rest of the day my goal is okay research
00:19:35read books figure out what videos i want to make and i would make videos until 4 a.m and i did this
00:19:40every single i was so dedicated to it but the thing that sucked was the more time that would pass the more
00:19:47i felt like okay now i'm growing a little bit there's more stakes now i got to somehow perform
00:19:52better all of a sudden there's pressure involved all of a sudden i really need to make this work right
00:19:56now and my videos started to suck a little bit more and i was like wow this sucks and then one day it's
00:20:013 a.m it's the middle of winter and i hadn't recorded a single video i was doom scrolling and i
00:20:08would kind of use the excuse oh i'm just trying to find inspiration and research yeah and i was like
00:20:13you know i'm going to go outside because it's freezing and the snow is falling and i'm just going
00:20:16to record videos because i know i can't stay out there forever because i'm gonna have to go with my
00:20:19bare hand i record eight videos and i'm like you know i'm just going to do these in one of two takes
00:20:25tops every single one of those videos got hundreds of thousands most of them got millions of views
00:20:31and i put almost no effort into it and i was just sitting there like wow like this is
00:20:35just sort of undeniable like i was like i just need to hit that quote of getting my 12 videos for
00:20:39the day and then it just happened you do understand though that people who see that and think wow all
00:20:44i need to do is just speak stream of consciousness that doesn't work unless you've got the reps
00:20:49beforehand yeah the only way that's the danger you can only break the rules of the game once you've
00:20:53learned them right you can't leapfrog the i need to learn do you know what wu-wei is we come across
00:21:02this so it's a confucian idea of trying not to try effortless action right yeah this episode is brought
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00:22:11below or heading to join dot whoop dot com slash modern wisdom that's join dot whoop dot com slash
00:22:18modern wisdom there's this line that was in a book that i found about it in the early stages of training
00:22:26an aspiring confucian gentleman needs to memorize entire shelves of archaic texts learn the precise
00:22:31angle at which to bow and learn the lengths of the steps with which he is to enter a room
00:22:35his sitting mat must always be perfectly straight all of this rigor and restraint however is ultimately
00:22:41aimed at producing a cultivated but nonetheless genuine form of spontaneity indeed the process
00:22:47of training is not considered complete until the individual has passed completely beyond the need
00:22:52for thought or effort and the kind of summary of this is the next stage of your development might
00:22:57not be more effort but more ease right it might not need more grind but more grace and it sounds great
00:23:04to hear that dude you can just like stream of consciousness fucking michael smoke wellness your
00:23:09way to just like like yak max this stuff but it's like if you haven't spent a long time removing your
00:23:16filler words and understanding what sort of ideas work well and understanding a good speaking cadence
00:23:20and realizing the sort of flow that you need to have you're not breaking the rules of the game
00:23:26to level up mastery you're just not playing the game at all yeah and there's a an interesting
00:23:32analogy with the uh the skate ice skater lady that you talked about novak jokovic nearly quit this he did
00:23:37quit the sport and same thing too much pressure didn't enjoy it and then when asked uh how he got his
00:23:46uh passion back just said i like hitting the ball i just like hitting the ball and that i just like
00:23:54hitting the ball thing only works when you've learned how to hit the fucking ball yeah
00:23:58well that's why i like to say putting your brain on autopilot right because what will you will continue
00:24:04the sports metaphor right literally what happens when if you ever played sports when you're younger
00:24:11and you've gotten really nervous i played baseball i would go to the plate and i would just be really
00:24:16tense and what happens is there there's a lot of blood flow to your brain and then it doesn't function
00:24:23as it would if you were just chilling in your couch on your couch or something and then you sort of now
00:24:29have to be consciously aware of what you're doing but the problem is all your training and everything
00:24:35like that it was developing skills for your brain to run on autopilot so that's why people mess up or
00:24:40the choke that's like the art of the choke the yips yeah and you're absolutely right it's like you need
00:24:45to first develop that skill for it to almost become second nature to your brain to allow it to happen
00:24:51and it is a very dangerous talking point when you tell people especially when really successful people
00:24:58like entrepreneurs that make a bunch of money or athletes that have spent literally blood sweat and
00:25:03tears for 20 plus years of their life dedicated to something when they're like oh i'm just
00:25:08um shea he has this one uh the mvp of the nba shea gilchrist alexander he's got this one like i it's
00:25:17kind of corny because i think he was just trying to be nonchalant but he's like i feel like the game
00:25:21just coming to me i'm flowing i'm it's just all natural but it's like like you're saying if you're
00:25:26a kid that's not just gonna happen for you you have to develop the skills and most people they don't
00:25:32have that agency to then go and do that thing a lot of people have asked me what do you think is the
00:25:37one thing that has differentiated you when you started doing social media and the truth is i
00:25:44always told people it was agency but specifically because a year ago from today i was literally
00:25:50sleeping on the couch of some guy's apartment in iowa like i was doing and i would get and i would
00:25:55get up every day and i i was doing streaming i started clipping i started doing these random things
00:26:01and it's like all of a sudden i start to build myself up and i started to realize okay i
00:26:06really want this like i really like this is not i feel like when people say they want something
00:26:1395 maybe even more percentage of the time it's a bluff like sure every i want the hottest girl in
00:26:18the world i want to be a millionaire but wanting something is being willing to pay the price that
00:26:24it requires to get it and i realized that i was willing to pay the price and so that was it was go
00:26:29mode like i was constantly i was doing it so much that my parents were literally begging me not to work
00:26:34they're like jet what are you doing just sitting in this basement i got no sunlight like ever i was just
00:26:40so dedicated to what i was doing and then people will see me now and i see hate videos about me every
00:26:47day where it's like why is this guy jet why did he find a way to like hit the algorithm to do this like
00:26:53he's doing the same thing as everyone else i was like you literally never saw you're not acknowledging
00:26:58the 1 162 videos it took me before i got 1000 followers you're not acknowledging the sheer
00:27:04amount of times where i posted something and i was wrong or i got embarrassed or what like all that
00:27:10stuff and then got up the next day and said i don't i don't give a i'm just gonna keep doing it again
00:27:14and what i'm realizing now especially i just graduated college i'm realizing that it's talk or action it's
00:27:22you do or you don't you know what i mean there's there's no like oh i'm thinking about doing this
00:27:25because i had i don't know who said this but the most dangerous people are ambitious lazy people people
00:27:31that will lead you to believe that oh i'm down to to go and start this business idea with you and i'm
00:27:36gonna go knock doors to to get leads or do whatever it is i had a i had an old friend of mine who was
00:27:42just like that and he was constantly oh i'm down to do this and that with you jet and i'm always like
00:27:48i'm gonna do it and i'm like all right come to my house let's let's set up the plan he would come
00:27:51to our house he would set up the plan and then slowly but surely the conversation goes towards
00:27:56girls random stuff that that is not and i sort of fell into that trap because you you act like the
00:28:02people that you're around and then i realized wow like the difference between the people that make
00:28:06it and the people that don't are you dedicated yourself for a ridiculous amount of time and and
00:28:11i'm not even including myself in that category you know like i i have way bigger aspirations i'm nowhere
00:28:16near where i want to be but i really saw after i put in the work i was like okay it takes this much
00:28:22to get to that point and i'm only you know a centimeter down the down my path of where i want to be
00:28:28and so then i look at someone like alex or mosey like a naval robcon i'm like oh yeah these guys
00:28:33they put in their due time for so many years probably got clowned on probably everyone that
00:28:40was in their previous life was looking at them like what is this guy doing you know maybe he's like
00:28:4525 years old and he doesn't have any job or he doesn't have anything going for him but really
00:28:50behind the scenes he's relentlessly trying on this entrepreneurial endeavor he's starting a business
00:28:56no one really respects you and so you have to be like okay do i have the agency to say screw
00:29:00their opinion i'm going to do this and give it a shot or do you not and honestly that percentage is
00:29:06like maybe it's it's probably more than 95 of people are on the they think they want it but they
00:29:12don't really want it and then you know two to three percent five percent are like i'm actually
00:29:17willing to do it and that's what i realized when i when i started the whole social media thing i was
00:29:22like okay this is gonna have to be a daily thing that i want to do right before you win everyone
00:29:27will ask you why you're working so hard and once you win everyone will tell you how lucky you are
00:29:32yeah it's so true dude and and talking about the thing and doing the thing vie for the same resources
00:29:38so you need to allocate yours appropriately like literally if you talk about this i'm sure you've
00:29:42come across this in neuroscience if you talk about the thing it gives you pings of reward in the same
00:29:46way as if you've done it and yeah so few people are operators like this is what i learned in nightlife
00:29:55like club promo so few people can actually do what you need to do in order to become successful and
00:30:01that's not some unbelievable level of talent it's just actually doing the work on a consistent basis
00:30:07it is so rare and that's why people tend to be serial successes and people tend to be serial
00:30:14failures because the transferable skill of here is a thing that needs to be done here are the ways to do
00:30:19it and i show up and do those things like when i think back to the start of modern wisdom there was
00:30:25days in 2018 where we did zero plays like we'd done multiple weeks of episodes and we had zero like a
00:30:32full day with no plays and then i ruptured my achilles at the back end of 2020 and constructed a special
00:30:40recording setup where i could have my foot still elevated above my heart so that i could still and
00:30:46then a mic that came in like this so that i could still record podcast episodes with my foot like
00:30:50behind the guest it's like blowjob cam like straight from my crotch and uh that was the level of that
00:30:59was the level of dedication that i had to this i remember i spoke to this girl at a breathwork class
00:31:04back end of last year and she hadn't seen me since i first moved to austin like four years ago and she
00:31:09said so great to see you are you still are you still doing those ads what do you mean he says well
00:31:17we were talking a few years ago and i remember we used to invite you on nights out to to like come
00:31:22and meet new people in in this city and country that you just moved to and you'd send me these
00:31:28like photos of some audio software and you were saying and it was like 11 o'clock at night and
00:31:34you were saying something about ads and i was like oh i forgot that i recorded a fresh ad read on audio
00:31:41three times per episode for every episode for 600 episodes like before we had dynamic insertion where
00:31:49you can pre-record it and then slot it in yeah i did like 2000 ad reads that was the finished ad read
00:31:56think about how many times i failed like 75 vitamins minerals and whole food sourced ingredients
00:32:01including a multivitamin multi-mineral pro pre and probiotic plus all the green super it's like
00:32:06fucking seared into my brain and that's because at 12 o'clock at night even though i was getting
00:32:12invited to go out i was like if i want to afford to live in this country that i've said is my dream
00:32:19i need to do the ads and the ads aren't that expensive which means that i need to do three
00:32:24of them and i need to make sure they perform well so i'm going to re-record them each time so i keep
00:32:27the sponsors happy so i have a great relationship with the sponsors and i'm going to do it at 12
00:32:31o'clock at night because i don't have anyone else to do it it's me my editor and a mormon assistant
00:32:36in a facebook messenger group chat and that is like 600 episodes and fucking two million subs i'm
00:32:42like okay that's just what it needs that's what needs to happen in order to get there
00:32:47yeah the one thing that i wish that i'd done and i know that alex feels the same like like i can give
00:32:51a nod to this like member of royalty over the far side oh yeah um i know that alex feels the same
00:32:57is i wish that i'd captured more content in the beginning i wish that i'd captured more stuff in
00:33:02the first one year two years and it's i guess in some ways it's kind of cool because every thing that
00:33:08you make is put out online yeah it's not the same like if you're an artist like you should have your
00:33:12first pieces of art that was um but more of the behind the scenes of what it was like of what the
00:33:18the shitty rigs recording setup and the yeah like the sleeping on the couch because i you know it's
00:33:24maizey williams from game of thrones i heard this interview with her and i think she was uh aria
00:33:29stark at like 10 years old or something in season one of game of thrones super young so it was her
00:33:34basically all of her childhood is her being in this incredibly complicated production yeah and somebody
00:33:40asked her what do you wish that you'd done she said well i started journaling in season four but i i
00:33:46can't remember what it was like in season one two and three and i really wish that i had i really wish
00:33:50that i had that for myself i wish i had those memories and i also wish that i was able to sort of show
00:33:54other people what it was like in the beginning that's interesting because with me i do have the
00:33:58documentation um i at least have the documentation of what i post i didn't document when i would say the
00:34:04same thing 100 times before i would be cool enough to post it um but yeah specifically on my on my
00:34:12youtube i have videos that it's funny while i was making it i would tell myself i was like 10 years
00:34:19down the line this is what i'm going to look back and i'm going to be showing people on like a yacht or
00:34:23something like guys this is where i started from you know because like my youtube videos they're they're
00:34:28so like it's so like okay this guy's on the bottom right now just literally trying to work his way up
00:34:34being consistent every single day but yeah it's interesting to cope that people have specifically
00:34:39as it relates to success or you know sort of leveling up in life doesn't matter what you're pursuing but
00:34:46i've been i think that's the one of the top things i've been getting flack for online is
00:34:51i truly believe if you live in america it does not matter how far on the bottom you are i believe
00:34:58that anyone is capable of clawing their way up the ladder i'm not saying you're going to go all the way
00:35:04to the top but you can go from the absolute bottom to at least bare minimum middle if you really have
00:35:10the agency to do it there's a there's like an old i don't know if it's like a news interview with
00:35:16morgan freeman and he do you know what i'm talking about and he was like the interviewer was i think
00:35:22it was like a white person telling him something about black people how oppressed they are like how
00:35:27oppressed they are like how they can't get to his position and he he literally goes
00:35:31and they're like what do you mean he's like he's like look at me like look at
00:35:36look at denzel look at obama look at all these people and i started to realize i was like you really
00:35:43have to just be viciously consistent and it's going to take a very long period of time and
00:35:51granted i i was fortunate growing up i grew up in a working class family you know i i never had to
00:35:56worry about paying the bills so i 100 recognize the privilege that i've had but then i was out on my own
00:36:02sleeping on a carpet literally not even a couch a carpet a year a year ago today and now i'm on this
00:36:08podcast did that happen out of thin air like i'm a little bit confused there but i i do have sympathy
00:36:14for these people but i think this is a very it's a pain point that people don't like to be called out
00:36:21on if you in any way sort of and for me it's not even necessarily criticism so much as i believe in
00:36:27them i wish they believe would believe in them as much as i believe in them you know people are like
00:36:31i'm not capable of doing this there's there's an old study that was done where they took a bunch of
00:36:37women and they said hey we want to we want to test or figure out whether or not that people with facial
00:36:42disfigurements get any type of oppression are you familiar with the study yeah the dartmouth scar
00:36:48experiment exactly yeah so they basically put makeup on them and they said yeah let us know if
00:36:53if you fell in any way discriminated discriminated against in this interview you're going into and they
00:36:58had like high-end makeup they put it on their face and these girls saw in the mirror they're like oh
00:37:02yeah i have it and then right before they go in they're like hey we just need to touch it up a little
00:37:05bit they take it off they don't know that they go in and you know at the end they reported that they
00:37:11felt like they were discriminated against and more than that they could you know point out a specific
00:37:16thing that the interviewer said that they thought was referencing you know the scar on their face
00:37:20and it really shows you the power of belief like i'm not saying oppression doesn't exist but what i am
00:37:25saying is a lot of it can be self-inflicted for sure like people genuinely are told by the media
00:37:31and this is what's so dangerous it's so dangerous if everyone in the media is telling you that oh because
00:37:36you you aren't an epobaby that you can't make it you're going to believe that you're going to
00:37:41internalize that and subconsciously that's going to dictate the way that you move about the world
00:37:44and that's such a dangerous talking point and i understand why it exists because they're trying to be
00:37:49sympathetic and i i get that but you can you once again you got to have the agency you got to have
00:37:54the discipline to be like that i'm going to bet on myself and i think that i can do it and i wish
00:38:00these people would have a similar view about that granted not all of them i mean how many examples
00:38:06are there of people that have gone from nothing to something there's simply too many at least in america
00:38:12that you could sit here and say it's literally impossible i'm not it's very difficult i'm not denying
00:38:17that but you can't say it's impossible this episode is brought to you by gymshark if you're going to
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00:39:14gym.sh modern wisdom and modern wisdom 10 at checkout if you had disadvantages i agree with you you are
00:39:21right it's harder to be successful if x happened to you replace x with gender race birth deformity
00:39:28different language different country abuse etc the main point of the longer conversation is that despite the
00:39:33disadvantage you only have one choice what are you going to do about it number one take action anyway
00:39:40and become proof to other people like you your people also born into or abused into this tragedy that
00:39:46you were that they too can overcome it number two blame and complain and to be clear you can do whatever
00:39:53you want i support your choice but only one of those decisions will make you better and i wish i could say
00:39:59this without getting attacked but you know who wins by you not being successful whoever or whatever you blame
00:40:06and fuck them or fuck that you can lead a rebellion of one and blame the one thing that you can control
00:40:12which is you in your mind redefine the word blame as give power to and when you do that
00:40:19there's only one person you're going to want to give more power to and that's you for everyone who's had shitty
00:40:24circumstances i'm on your side your long-term side the side that wants you to win so do it anyways
00:40:31with all the disadvantages and still tell them to shove it and win i want to be clear again if you
00:40:37had tough shit happen to you it sucks and it's not your fault but now what where do we go my two cents
00:40:44win anyway and prove that you can win even when the chips are stacked against you or you're dealt a lousy
00:40:49hand because we can't get dealt a new hand we've got to play the cards that we've got rather than
00:40:54hoping the dealer rules in our favor so again what are you going to do with your shit hand
00:41:00the only thing possible you play the best you can oh mosey
00:41:04fucking slammer dude so so like that's almost like a modern day marcus aurelius quote that sounds
00:41:09like yeah it's it's a little bit it's updated for 2026 but um yeah i mean that's i understand that
00:41:16there is this line that needs to be walked which is if somebody's been through a lot of
00:41:20shit not recognizing that feels callous yeah and uncaring and unempathetic and yet if you look at
00:41:27what the real world impact of that is do those people really want to be coddled if they want to
00:41:33get out of this thing probably not and when you realize that there is a self-fulfilling prophecy
00:41:38in telling people that because of your x disadvantage you're not going to be able to do this thing
00:41:43what is meant as empathy ends up being restriction and i don't know i i again like you like
00:41:58not salubrious but perfectly fine upbringing uh but no like given no objective advantages
00:42:08the fact that there are people who have had it worse doesn't negate the fact that most people most
00:42:12people exist in the middle of the bell curve yeah like they didn't grow up with extreme abuse in
00:42:18extreme poverty with the birth disfigurement like most people and this is what becomes really pernicious
00:42:26you can use look at these people at the bottom end of the tail you're not sufficiently recognizing their
00:42:34level of disadvantage and that gets like concept creeped out to include earlier parts of the tail
00:42:41as well and then actually bits of the bell curve in the middle does that make sense well like people
00:42:45who haven't had those disadvantages pattern match themselves with the people who have yes and they
00:42:51they take on board that sympathy as a self-fulfilling prophecy of restriction you're like oh that's me
00:42:58and this is one of the reasons that for a long time everyone's been real worried about pedestalizing
00:43:03victimhood because it turns the value system upside down it says that being the most oppressed
00:43:10is actually the position that you want to try and be in because success is something that is only
00:43:17achieved through oppression and victimhood is more noble in some ways yeah uh which is
00:43:25it's it's incentivizing people in this very pernicious like
00:43:32presenting as pro-social but functioning as like a speed governor on a car yep if you're a parent and
00:43:44you have a kid and your kid does something that isn't good do you say oh that's okay like you'll you'll
00:43:52get it next time or it's okay like you're a kid or do you tell your kid hey that's not how a good human
00:43:58operates and we need to do better than that and and do you give them constructive criticism well if you're
00:44:04a good parent you give them constructive criticism now at that time is the kid gonna like it when you
00:44:09tell them they can't do it absolutely not but why do parents do it because they love their kids and
00:44:14they're gonna do the thing that's gonna make them uncomfortable and maybe they're out in public and
00:44:18their kid's gonna throw a fit but they have to do it because they love their kids and the only way
00:44:22that you can help someone grow is by unfortunately pointing out a lot of their faults it's not the only way
00:44:27but it's essential and so i look at it's like i i call it and this isn't my original phrase suicidal
00:44:34empathy where people are like oh i'm going to empathize with this person who is has self-destructive
00:44:41habits and i'm going to say that it's okay why because that's the culture that's the narrative
00:44:45that we live in everything everyone does is okay there's there's nothing that is not allowed except
00:44:51for you telling me that there's something not allowed and then all of a sudden you know 10 20
00:44:56years goes down the line this person doesn't have the life that they want they saw these self-destructive
00:45:00habits that are causing to some extent their inability to succeed and then they're like oh it's the
00:45:05system it's let me let me place the blame on everyone else again if you were a parent you loved
00:45:10your kid would you not criticize them out of a place of love i think that you would i think that you would
00:45:17and you have to do that as a friend you have to do that as a peer you have to do that as a member of
00:45:20society but the problem is it's a story as old as time everyone's gonna hate you everyone's gonna hate
00:45:25you no everyone wants to live in their own little world that you know everybody else is against them
00:45:31and are you familiar with nietzsche's idea of resenting man the slave and master morality
00:45:35no tell me so nietzsche basically believed and i agree with him that
00:45:42like we'll apply to modern day context poor and middle class people not all of them but some of them
00:45:49they seem to be obsessed with the concept of morality and virtue and it's not that morality
00:45:54or virtue are bad but they weren't able to get external success they weren't able to get money they
00:46:00weren't able to get the good wife whatever the nice house so they don't really have the life that they
00:46:07want and so what they do is they move the goalposts from external success to internal virtue which they
00:46:13conveniently get to define so now i don't have to win in life instead what i can do is i can just say
00:46:19oh but i'm a good person who defines what a good person is you because it's subjective to you so it's
00:46:24almost like a free cop-out now i'm not saying by any means that you shouldn't want to be a good
00:46:29person or that virtue and character aren't i feel like my dad's gonna listen to this and he's gonna
00:46:33be like oh my gosh yeah what are you saying like shout out shout out jet's dad yeah shout out shout
00:46:38out my dad but you have to understand that like people are constantly coping it's subconscious it's
00:46:46they're not even aware of it and then i for me i just can't stand these people because they're so
00:46:50obsessed with morality and virtue and they're like oh i hate all these people when it's like i don't
00:46:55think you're aware that what you're doing is just code because you couldn't get the
00:46:58external success i'm not saying external success is everything in life right there's nuance to this
00:47:02of course but nietzsche recognized this he realized that it's like hey these people they're kind of just
00:47:08making up some to make themselves feel better and that's what happens and i mean i'm a christian
00:47:14myself but a lot of christians do this where they're like oh you know people online say that jesus
00:47:20is the personification of slave morality you know the person they have resentment built up against the
00:47:25people that are successful then they switch they they get to choose what's actually right but the
00:47:30thing is is that jesus is not slave morality at all because slave morality comes from a place of
00:47:36resentment and jesus didn't have resentment so i really hate that narrative online but it's like
00:47:41you'll you i will admit that you see this a lot in christian communities or whatever where they're kind
00:47:46of be like ah like you know it's it's harder for surely i tell you that it's harder to get in the
00:47:53the kingdom of heaven than for a camel to walk through a needle whatever that bible verse is and
00:47:57they're like you shouldn't get money like that's anti-christian and it's like well you could do
00:48:01amazing things with money you can help people with money it's not inherently yeah it's cope it's cope
00:48:06so the problem is you go online you say that you are it's funny because i've posted a few videos on
00:48:12this over the over my time on social media and every time i get stitched a hundred times everyone's like
00:48:19you know this guy out of touch yeah and it's funny because they'll be like you know you'll get a
00:48:24comment he actually thought we were going to agree with him no i i didn't think you were going to
00:48:27agree with me i was just willing to say what needed to be said but these people are it's just everywhere
00:48:31you go you see cope cope cope i used to be that guy that's how i know right and i'm not saying everyone
00:48:36does this i'm not saying everyone that is concerned about being a good person is doing it out of
00:48:42resentment for people that have external success i'm not saying that at all but a very large
00:48:46percentage of them surely are it's such a cheap shot as well like it's so predictable before you
00:48:51look at the comment section you can already see like this is out of touch he doesn't understand
00:48:56he thinks that the only thing that matters is materialism and yeah there's this idea idea from
00:49:01isaiah boleyn called the inner citadel familiar with that very similar to what you're talking about
00:49:06so he says um when the path to human fulfillment is blocked we retreat into ourselves into a kind of
00:49:11inner citadel where we're walled off against all of the fearful ills of the world and we make our own
00:49:15laws so an example of this would be um your leg gets injured in a battle and you have the choice
00:49:23to either try and rehabilitate the leg but if you can't rehabilitate the leg then you cut your leg off
00:49:28and announce that the desire for legs is misguided and must be subdued yeah yeah like this we see it
00:49:35everywhere people that say weight has no bearing on health because they've struggled to lose weight
00:49:40people who say that jobs are for suckers because they've struggled to hold one down and they turn
00:49:44to a life of crime people who have been uh cheated on and found it difficult to get a relationship to
00:49:50work so they turn to polyamory or they become uh incels like at each of these different
00:49:59i guess it would be of all cells uh at each of these different junctures what somebody is doing
00:50:03is saying the world's denied me that which i want i'm going to rewrite the rules retreat into myself so
00:50:08that i no longer need to face the reality that i could get it if i did something different and again
00:50:13like this is there's two very very unpopular things to talk about online there's many but
00:50:18like two that are kind of reliable philosophically one of them is that and the other is the arrival
00:50:22fallacy if you say the view from the top of the mountain that you're climbing up is not going to be
00:50:27as satisfying as you think it is you sound like a fat guy at a buffet telling someone who's starving
00:50:33that food doesn't taste that good yeah like you suck the engine out of them and the oxygen gets pulled
00:50:38out of the room it's seen as uh like bourgeois it's seen as judgmental as opulent and rightly so you
00:50:49a person who has the thing that i want are telling me a person who doesn't have that thing and wants it
00:50:54that the thing i want won't satisfy me but how many people that have got a problem with their self-worth
00:51:03or a scarcity mindset reach some level of success or fame or monetary notoriety and then go oh man
00:51:14all my inner problems were solved it was so great like so one of two things is happening with that
00:51:19which is the first one it is true that when you achieve something that you try to fill an internal
00:51:26void with an external success it's not going to reliably work yeah the other one is that everybody
00:51:31that reaches a level of success is part of some weird cult cabal that's all cartelling to convince
00:51:38other people to like pull the ladder up after them so that they it's like no one else can win exactly
00:51:44exactly it's like oh it's not that good i'm fucking idiots yeah like no that's obviously not the case
00:51:49it's obviously the case that people can't fill internal voids with external accolades yeah and this
00:51:54is like you're saying it's any time that you'll see an interview with a really successful person
00:52:00this seems to be a common trend where they'll say you know the favorite days of my life were when
00:52:04i was going through the struggle when i was you know building every single day was unsure whether
00:52:08or not i was going to make it because that made me who i am or you know they'll say like wow like
00:52:14it really was the journey the whole time i've said this before i think winning a championship as a
00:52:19professional athlete has to be literally one of the most underwhelming feelings ever because you just
00:52:24worked however whatever percentage of your life this was your main goal or so at least they say
00:52:31and all of a sudden you have it but now you have this thing and it's okay my life is the same it's
00:52:39like are you familiar with lakon's theory of desire so in order to desire something the object of
00:52:46obsession must be perpetually absent you can't have that thing because the moment you have it you can
00:52:51no longer want it this is this can apply to anything in life relationships is the biggest one this is why
00:52:55it's people are always talking about why is it that like right when i express to this girl that i'm
00:53:00interested or tell this guy that i like him it seems like they pull away well because now they know they
00:53:04have you and it's not really you know that fantasy in their head well the same concept sort of applies
00:53:09when you have this big goal and you want it and you're convincing yourself like that's going to be
00:53:13the thing and it never is and this is i i've never really seen an interview where i felt like the
00:53:20successful person was being genuine where they didn't in some way shape or form acknowledge that if they
00:53:25were asked but it all goes back down to albert camu has this quote it's the end of the myth of
00:53:30sisyphus i'm paraphrasing here but he says the struggle towards heights uh is enough to fill any
00:53:35man's heart and he's basically said like it's literally the journey it is sisyphus relentlessly
00:53:41pushing that boulder up he knows he's never going to get it to the top but it's the process of pushing
00:53:46that boulder up that's everything when you think about life if you if your life is a timeline
00:53:52right well let's say you start going towards your goals when you're 18 years old or maybe 22 when you
00:53:58graduate college so you have like 22 if you're lucky you live till 75 80 but probably you're going to
00:54:05tap out at like 60. so 99.9 of like actual time the metric of time is going to be chasing the thing
00:54:14and then you're going to get it so why in the world would it make sense to just be like oh i can only
00:54:18enjoy myself once i'm there because you won the cosmic lottery to be alive right it's like one in 43
00:54:24trillion or something like you're winning the lottery multiple times to just be alive and so why would you
00:54:30then be like oh i'm only gonna do what i have to do to enjoy a point zero zero zero zero zero one percent
00:54:35of my life to be like ah i did it and then probably after that you might be underwhelmed or depressed or
00:54:39something like that i think you need to enjoy that 99.9 and and that is enough to fill a man's heart
00:54:47from the meditation retreat one of the biggest takeaways i had was for many of us goals are
00:54:52contracts to self-criticize until we succeed like running away from a monster that never gets tired
00:54:57this contract makes permanent success necessary to avoid being swallowed by misery
00:55:02like desire is a contract that you make with yourself to be unhappy until you get what you want yeah
00:55:07and yeah you're right almost all of your time is going to be in the pursuit and and what that means
00:55:11is you are going to be underwhelmed before we continue most people in their 30s are still
00:55:17training hard their protein is dialed in they sleep better than they did in their 20s discipline
00:55:22is not the issue but recovery feels somewhat different strength gains take a little longer the margin for
00:55:29error starts to shrink and that is why i'm such a huge fan of timeline you see mitochondria are the energy
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00:56:22slash modern wisdom and using the code modern wisdom at checkout that's timeline.com
00:56:26slash modern wisdom and modern wisdom at checkout have you ever seen uh scotty scheffler the golfer
00:56:35talk about what happens when he won the championship that's one of the few pattern breaks yes in somebody
00:56:40winning i know exactly what you're talking i made a video on it i know i know exactly what you're talking
00:56:44about fucking awesome so yeah i mean he wins the masters or a grand slam perhaps some huge illustrious
00:56:53title and he gets to do the press juncture at the end and he's sitting down and everyone's going to
00:57:01like how's this going to be like how does this feel and yeah he he has a slightly surprising response
00:57:09at the end of the day it's like i'm not out here to inspire the next generation of golfers i don't
00:57:14i'm not here to inspire somebody else to be the best player in the world because what's the point
00:57:17you know this is not a fulfilling life it's it's fulfilling from a sense of accomplishment but it's
00:57:24not fulfilling from a sense of like the deepest you know places of your heart you know there's a lot
00:57:29of people that make it to what they thought was going to fulfill them in life and then you get there
00:57:34and all of a sudden you get to number one in the world and then they're like what's the point
00:57:37and you know i really do believe that because you know what is the point perhaps if you could be
00:57:45satisfied simply by hitting the goal you would kill yourself that's the most jet franzen response to
00:57:51that video that i could ever think but you're not far off right like the reason that the arrival fallacy
00:57:57exists and the reason that we have hedonic adaptation is that if the first time you had sex you were done
00:58:02with sex for the rest of your life or the first time that you killed uh a deer you would be
00:58:07satisfied with that you wouldn't be chasing yeah the next piece of progress like yeah there's this uh
00:58:13dukkha d-u-k-k-h-a uh it's this line from the butter and a lot of people here um uh life is
00:58:26unhappiness uh like is one of the translations of this but dukkha can actually be translated as uh
00:58:32unsatisfactoriness uh so it's not sorry uh life is suffering like life is suffering is the line from
00:58:37the butter but it can also dukkha could also be translated as life is unsatisfactoriness like yeah
00:58:44morgan housel has this story about when him and his family went away on holiday and he'd been planning
00:58:50this trip for ages and it was the first one that him and his wife had got to do with the kids and they
00:58:54they knew exactly where they were going to sit at this resort they they looked at the menu in advance
00:59:00they knew what drinks they wanted to get they'd done everything and they arrived and they sat down
00:59:05the first night and he thought about what the experience was like and he said well the drink
00:59:12was nice but there was like a little bit too much ice and i probably should have got it blended as
00:59:15opposed to as opposed to on the rocks and like it was really beautiful the table that we chose was
00:59:20great but like there was some sand between my feet and that sort of was irritating a bit and i i look
00:59:24the veal was lovely but the salmon also could have been a little bit better and then he walks out onto
00:59:29the balcony and he has this thought like as they've arrived the first day that they're there he's like
00:59:35this is so great we should come back here next year like immediately in the process of enjoying
00:59:40the thing he's already moving the goalposts to the next thing the experience is unsatisfactory
00:59:45and the uh enjoyment of the thing is primarily based around recreating the anticipation of it again
00:59:53during the experience of it it's kind of deranged you know i was i a couple months ago i went out to
01:00:01eat dinner and i ordered a steak and they gave me a chicken and i was happy that they gave me the
01:00:08chicken because i was like wow i was like expecting the steak and i just got a chicken which is like a
01:00:12curveball and i started to realize that this is like your the ability my my uh my sophomore year
01:00:21ap us history teacher always had this quote roll with the punches you've probably heard that before
01:00:25roll with the punches guys roll with the punches but truly that's one of the best skills to develop
01:00:31or personality traits i don't know if it's you know genetic but your ability to just go with the flow
01:00:37is makes things so much better my faith i come from a very anxious family my family's very anxious they
01:00:43like to plan everything in advance and love them to death but like sometimes it's like wow like we're
01:00:47i feel like like we're suffocating the experience and it's one of those things where it's like if you just
01:00:54kind of let it happen then you're gonna like it more my brother is not a very anxious person and i always
01:01:01find that like being just in the presence of my brother when you're like going and doing things
01:01:06relaxes you and it's just like better it's like if i could have anybody on a road trip with me
01:01:10it'd be my brother because he's just let me just go with the flow it's not too serious he just he's very
01:01:15practical about the way that he approaches things and yeah i think life you just i don't know the
01:01:21expectations and wanting something to be a certain way it kills it and suffering lives so you have the
01:01:28expectations of how the world should be and which is personal to you and the reality of the world the
01:01:33delta between those two points that's where suffering lives because you're like well it was supposed to
01:01:38be like this and it wasn't like that and so in other words if you can just eliminate the expectations
01:01:44which in all fairness you probably can't eliminate expectations but you can at least lower your
01:01:47expectations you'll be pleasantly surprised it's a lot of the time it's only suffering for as long
01:01:53as reality under delivers on your expectations exactly if reality over delivers on your expectations
01:01:59that's pleasure yeah right but so yeah i mean low expectations are kind of the key to a good life
01:02:05but also it's a revolutionary thing to say in the modern world i'm good with that or i'm satisfied
01:02:13that's good enough for me like satisfaction is kind of seen as surrender and
01:02:21that's again creating this like inverted motivation it's not biological to us i'll tell you that much
01:02:29are you familiar with the hedonic treadmill yeah so it's like i was always when i found out about the
01:02:34hedonic treadmill i like so much of life just made sense to me right there because i was like
01:02:39the moment like everything has to regress to the meat it has to so think about our ancestors right
01:02:45a lot of our ancestors lived in tribes and they would hunt for game to get the food that they would
01:02:49need to survive let's say you fought a bear you and some of the other men of the village went out
01:02:55fought a bear this that's a huge achievement that's like awesome you're probably you probably have
01:02:59you're high on life at that point right you just killed a bear and now your village has meat or
01:03:04whatever and you're feeling really good it's like so what you're just going to put your guard down now
01:03:08like you're just that's it and so then you would not care and then all of a sudden you know there's
01:03:12infinite amount of predators out in the world and then they would just expect comes along and
01:03:16fucks you up exactly and so you you literally have to regress back to the meat like so many people
01:03:22i'm sure people ask you this it's like oh what's it like having so many followers and it's like dude i
01:03:27don't know why but when i had less than a thousand followers and i gained two three followers in a day
01:03:32that almost felt better than right now where i'm you know getting thousands of followers a day and it's like
01:03:38just how it goes it has to rest the mean it's you know the easiest metaphor whatever you want to call
01:03:43it is like developing tolerance for drugs like eventually you're just it's not going to be
01:03:48enough you just need to keep pushing it more and more well the ruthless thing i think about people
01:03:52that are competent and that drive themselves is that every new level of success becomes the minimum
01:03:56level of acceptable performance moving forward this is the curse of competence yeah right if you're good
01:04:02at things and you regularly do well then success doesn't become a cause for celebration it's simply
01:04:08the minimum baseline entry that you're allowed to pursue like anything less than success would be
01:04:14failure and success itself becomes nothing more than acceptable like that there's a line from a john
01:04:23bellion and luke combs song which is uh if the higher i climb is the further i fall then why love anything at
01:04:30all and he's talking about falling in love with somebody and opening himself up but i think the
01:04:33same thing is true for a lot of people in pursuits and it sounds very morbid like i'm aware that this
01:04:37sounds morbid but it's good because you do existentialism and i'm british so it's kind of the same thing
01:04:41um but a lot of the time the i i realized this last year this podcast is the eighth biggest podcast
01:04:50in the world eighth biggest in the world spotify chart last year fucking unbelievable right spotify
01:04:54wrapped i wake up one day we found out one day before and i'm like holy fuck that is insane
01:05:02just so fucking insane to be this guy who's not been a part of a network who's never taken money from
01:05:07outside investment who started it in his bedroom and still does it with the same editor he had eight
01:05:11years ago to get to that point is so fucking phenomenal and that lasted for about half an hour
01:05:17and then this thought crept in which was dude if i'm if i'm not in the top 10 next year i might as
01:05:23well kill myself yeah like eighth would be just about okay seventh would be good but presumably only
01:05:30for about half an hour before i realized that was the new baseline and if i'm not in the top 10 then
01:05:33it's a failure yeah and that's the same way other people will perceive you as well of course yeah yeah
01:05:39jimmy carr's got this fucking wonderful line where he says trajectory is more important than position
01:05:44so if you are number 300th in the world but last year you were number 600 people are like wow dude
01:05:50you're on there yeah things are moving right but if you're third in the world last year being first
01:05:55that is almost toxic and i think a big part of it is that we have such recency bias we can only
01:06:02really remember what's going on we also want to be someone that's moving in the right direction
01:06:06has to be popular in the moment and there's always this sense there's a kind of like nepotism i suppose
01:06:12or like inheriting daddy's money there's this sense that if it hasn't happened recently maybe the
01:06:18underlying signals that are supposed to be the reliable uh indicator that you're good at doing the
01:06:23thing maybe they've fallen away i've been fascinated obviously because of this this number eight in the
01:06:29world thing last year and and that creates a new kind of pressure a different kind of pressure
01:06:35but i've been fascinated about the difference between having never made it and having fallen off
01:06:41the perception of those two things and the gold medalist syndrome is exactly that gold medalist
01:06:46syndrome is having fallen off and i think i'm sure you've seen the studies that say uh bronze medalists
01:06:54are happier than silver medalists yeah yeah which is just hilarious like just about nearly being
01:07:01there and not getting it yeah is worse than being a few a few steps away exactly yeah well first off
01:07:07congrats on number eight in the world that's like ridiculously impressive especially thank you like
01:07:12you were saying you started on your own you didn't take money from outside investors which is huge
01:07:17are you familiar with our author schopenhauer's the will to live the will of life so the will is
01:07:24basically it's almost like this metaphysical part inside of you that it creates your desires he argued
01:07:32that you're not the one that creates your desires it's just created by the will and then you sort of
01:07:38recognize those desires or or you realize that they exist and then this sort of subtly dictates the
01:07:45decisions that you make in your life and the will is not concerned about you being happy at all as a matter of
01:07:50fact he almost argues he does argue that happiness is a temporary state you cannot always be happy and
01:07:57happiness even when you do get it it's it's very short short-lived happiness and it's really because
01:08:03the will just wants more and more and more and the desire the the desire of the will it just wants to
01:08:08replicate itself so that's like drawing you to have sex and reproduce and basically the will is just
01:08:14telling you oh you got to do all these things and just relentlessly pushes the goalposts more and
01:08:18more and more and that's why author schopenhauer is widely regarded as you know a pessimist people say
01:08:23if you're going to get into philosophy don't start by reading him that's a very interesting talking
01:08:29point to me it seems like the internet hates pessimism which i understand why you don't want to be around
01:08:34negativity it's a bone killer yeah but they you got to acknowledge that to some extent there's a lot of
01:08:41truth behind some of the talking points in relation to pessimism and that's what i tried to i i tackle
01:08:47that idea on my youtube channel but yeah even people will be like oh jet franz and he's he's he's
01:08:51a doomer he hates all this stuff even though at the end of my videos i'll try to you know be like okay
01:08:56but have an uplifting on exactly exactly have you looked at instrumental goods versus ultimate goods
01:09:04maybe that stinks of a video that you should do uh that's i'm putting a request into the dj for you
01:09:09to do uh so uh instrumental goods doing something for something yeah ultimate goods doing something for
01:09:15for itself yeah and if you ask the why do you do that thing for any pursuit eventually you get to an
01:09:20ultimate good right and typically it's something like to feel peaceful to feel happy to be loved to be
01:09:28enough to be able to rest but instrumental goods are uh why do you get up and go to the gym well to have
01:09:34a good body why do you want a good body it makes me feel fit well why do you want to feel fit and you
01:09:38just keep on going down down down down down to something close to an ultimate good and my concern
01:09:45for a lot of people including myself is that we live instrumental lives our entire lives are
01:09:51instrumental yeah we are doing the thing to do the thing to get the thing to do the thing to get
01:09:56as opposed to a radically revolutionary belief which is maybe i can just sidestep all of this and go
01:10:04straight to the ultimate like what is the what is the feeling that i'm trying to get and typically
01:10:08it's a feeling and this is another idea that i've been so obsessed with and it came out of the
01:10:15it came out of the meditation retreat last week that
01:10:21if as a guy you pray at the altar of your feelings just work harder how can you be surprised when you
01:10:29achieve but you don't feel yeah like the route that has gotten you there the fuel that has arrived
01:10:35you at the destination has robbed you of the satisfaction of being there yeah and that to me is
01:10:41just it's this game it's this game that's always going to be played and what we've done i'm going to
01:10:47sound incredibly left-wing here in modern society with the meritocracy and capitalism is we've encoded
01:10:55we have uh like canonized and and created an architecture of pushing the hedonic adaptation
01:11:03button as much as possible it's a it's an instrumental life it is an instrumental life
01:11:07why do you want a the next rung on the job ladder why is it that you want that well a bigger paycheck
01:11:13i'm gonna get more respect from people it's like but what are you sacrificing oh i'm gonna be homeless
01:11:17with my kids my relationship might suffer and i'll sleep worse and my health might degrade but like
01:11:21you know the thing like what about the thing and yeah it is radically revolutionary to just go
01:11:30it like i'm good i'm good i like i like this i like where i'm at the scariest place to be and this
01:11:38is what this is my biggest fear i i'm absolutely horrified of it is waiting all day for 5 p.m all
01:11:45week for friday you wait each summer for the winter and so on and so forth it's like you've probably
01:11:51heard those people say oh you know once i once i graduate high school then i'll be away from my
01:11:56parents then i can do what i want oh well now i mean i just got i just got to finish college i finished
01:12:00college up and then you know what i'm gonna go travel the world but you know what then then they
01:12:04graduate college i gotta work on my career right now i just and it's oh there's always something
01:12:09there's always something and then you never live your life and there is a talking point online where
01:12:16people will say happiness is just not wanting any moment to be anything other than what it is
01:12:22you're not things to be different yeah you're you're not stuck in the past you're not anxious
01:12:26about the future you're fully accepting the moment if you go outside and there's construction
01:12:30and it's like really loud this goes back to what we were talking about before it's like you had the
01:12:35expectation that there was a world that existed that there wouldn't be construction and the fact
01:12:40that there is construction the delta between those two points that's where you're suffering you're
01:12:44getting pissed off you know what's an interesting indicator early indicator of this how much somebody
01:12:49complains somebody who complains a lot is basically admitting that they have a poor model of
01:12:55reality yes why is there all of this traffic it's because reality has traffic yeah and your model of
01:13:00the world was a reality that didn't have traffic your model of the world is wrong reality is undefeated
01:13:06yes it's a million and oh a million knockouts yeah right reality is undefeated most people don't
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01:14:04modern wisdom there's this uh little essay that i want to read to you don't wait life is happening right
01:14:11now i've become obsessed with the belief that life's duties will one day be out of the way and then you can
01:14:15finally start doing the thing you want to and living your life it's a myth it's a lie marie louise von
01:14:21franz talks about the provisional life she says there is a strange feeling that one is not yet in real
01:14:27life for the time being one is doing this or that there is always the fantasy that sometime in the
01:14:32future the real thing will come about similar to another idea called deferred happiness syndrome
01:14:39the common feeling that your life has not begun that your present reality is a mere prelude to some
01:14:43idyllic future this idyll is a mirage that'll fade as you approach revealing that the prelude you rushed
01:14:49through was in fact the one to your death it's strange i regularly have this sense of foreboding
01:14:54and guilt about time slipping away that i'm not making enough of my days especially when i look back
01:14:59on a week and i know that i've done things and dedicated myself to pursuits and working hard
01:15:03i can't fully recall how i spent my time so i worry that this is just a one week microcosm of how i look
01:15:10back on my entire life there's time having passed but me not really noticing it of existence occurring
01:15:16but living not actually having got going wow you know i i when i was in later years of high school i was
01:15:27trying to save up money for college so i picked up all these jobs one of the jobs i picked up was
01:15:32you know that stereotypical factory job and i was in chicago it's middle of winter freezing i'm
01:15:40working the graveyard shift so middle of the night and i worked this job and i remember i would sit
01:15:46there and i'd be like pissed off because all my peers all the people that i knew none of them were
01:15:52working a fraction as hard as me and i knew their parents were going to pay for their college or
01:15:57whatever it is they were living life up that's the temptation of the victim mindset yeah exactly and
01:16:02so well i felt i was the victim mindset because i would be it would be 1am and i'm in this trailer
01:16:08lifting heavy boxes it's like 30 degrees in this because they literally don't have heaters and i'm
01:16:14like life just sucks man like i'm just like sitting there i'm like why does this got to happen whatever
01:16:20and there was every once most of the time you'd be alone but every once in a while you'd work with
01:16:24another person in this i became friends with this other guy and me and him it was like the double the
01:16:29victim mindset but he was kind of playful with it which i liked he was like you know life is so
01:16:33fucked and then we'd joke about how fucked it was or whatever and you know i remember like sitting
01:16:38there and i and i built up resentment because i was like man these other people they're not working as
01:16:42hard as me i'm i'm just trying so much more than them and yeah and that went on for for years and
01:16:49that wasn't the only job i had i was working three jobs over the summer i was just constantly doing
01:16:53stuff and then we get to college and these people i had better grades than them and they would
01:16:57go to a nicer school because they could afford it and i'm like man man i really keep drawing the short
01:17:02end of the stick joe rogan he has this this one clip i don't think it's like viral or anything but
01:17:06he's like he's like those people that always say i can't catch a break he's like you need to get away
01:17:10from those people i can tell you as someone who used to be that person you need to get away from
01:17:14those people because like you're saying if you complain that this is all of a sudden you're just
01:17:20making your life worse and then i eventually i ended up like it was super cliche but ended up reading
01:17:26meditations by marcus aurelius and i was like wow like this is this is incredible the ancient clean
01:17:30your room by jordan peterson yeah exactly it's so it's like okay um and then event like you know and
01:17:36and i sort of was that way for a while i mean it was years it wasn't like i just flipped the switch
01:17:42and boom now i'm not victim mindset anymore it was well let me take a hard look on my life i have no
01:17:46friends i have nothing going for me i'm just going to school minding my business and that's it okay we
01:17:52need to make some some sort of change and to amplify this what makes everything so much worse is that for
01:17:58millennia the only people you compared yourself to were the other people in your tribe right you
01:18:02couldn't you couldn't know what was going on with kelsey when she was studying like you didn't know you
01:18:08didn't know what's going on in the valley over exactly a 30-person pod in 150-person dunbar group that's
01:18:15exactly and so what's happened is social media just rapidly hit us our brains have not
01:18:20psychologically adapted to under to to comprehend this so a guy like you you get millions potentially
01:18:28billions of views every month it's like all of a sudden all these people have opinions on you but
01:18:33more than that what do you do you doom scroll everyone doom scrolls to some extent or you're going
01:18:37online and what is what does online feed you the top one percent of everyone you're you're seeing the
01:18:41most attractive people the funniest people the richest people the most well-spoken articulate
01:18:46people and on and on and then you're like wow my life sucks like i remember like i was sitting down
01:18:51there and it would be like andrew tate starts getting popular like like i see the nelk boys like
01:18:58everyone just seems to be living this amazing life and it would really piss me off because you you see
01:19:02these degenerates and you're and i was why do they get that that's not fair like they're not doing anything
01:19:06that's worthy of you know making all this money or having all this attention and being in the public eye
01:19:12and i wanted that and i wanted it bad and it literally wasn't until i actually let all that go
01:19:17that i was like you know what i don't have resentment i can accept that i am who i am all
01:19:22of a sudden all those things started to fall into my lap and it's like that's really how it works you
01:19:27i feel like you have to let go kind of like what we were saying before because otherwise
01:19:31in a way you're paralyzing yourself you're not going to take action you you're just going to feel bad
01:19:36about yourself and have pity and that's uh if you carry that on through your 20s through your 30s all
01:19:42of a sudden you're going to be 35 years old and look back and be like wow i wish i would have had the
01:19:47ability to just accept who i am but you can't really blame i mean we're the first generation that's
01:19:53had this so can i give you a bit of advice for what i think is going to come next for you please so
01:20:00you've got yourself to the stage now where the wheels will start to spin on their own and there
01:20:06will be a lot of opportunities that will come your way different things maybe i'm going to start
01:20:10a business you've already got an app right well i need to run the app like that's important i
01:20:13need to have a dev team like well we need to do marketing like maybe we need to take some outside
01:20:17investment and you'll start to take investor calls and you maybe look at acquisition and you'll
01:20:21start to pay a little bit of more attention to well there's a competing app that's just started
01:20:25and well you know i i i need to make a little bit more money because my lifestyle should
01:20:29inflate because i'm growing up and like i worked at this like i worked hard you not remember when
01:20:33i was doing the thousand videos and nobody watched like i should start to do some sponsors you take
01:20:37sponsor calls those will begin to rack up a little bit more but they'll be worth money
01:20:42and you'll do the just connect with me dinners and you'll start to make more impressive friends and
01:20:47one of the things that you need to be incredibly cautious of is not doing the thing that got you here
01:20:54now you shouldn't hold on to the working modes that don't serve the principal output so that's you
01:21:02don't need to uh play the game the way that you used to but there are a few key uh areas of contribution
01:21:09that if you let those slide all of the competitive advantage goes and that for you is likely going to be reading
01:21:16it's like if you don't protect your reading time if you're not constantly feeding yourself with new ideas
01:21:22you're going to become stale and you're not going to have new stuff to talk about and what it's going
01:21:26to feel like is growth it's going to feel like growth because all of the objective metrics are going to
01:21:31continue to expand and continue to get better but what made you differentiated was this very particular
01:21:40kind of obsession with learning interesting ideas scrutinizing them and then communicating them
01:21:45right that's kind of it like that's the engine that's the engine that both me and you have used
01:21:50yeah and maybe you'll get some stuff we need to manage the staff like that's kind of you know you've
01:21:56got an editor ah the edit wasn't quite right on that thing so i need to negotiate with him and like
01:22:00he needs his motivation jeeing up so i'll take him out for dinner and well the editor needs an
01:22:05assistant so like i might as well get him and before you know it you've built this very unwieldy spaghetti
01:22:11monster and that's fine as long as you protect what the main thing was and the reason i say it is
01:22:17i've noticed as i've sort of swung to and fro on the show when i've protected the first couple of hours
01:22:23of the day which is typically when i'll sit and when i'll read when i'll think about stuff and i might
01:22:27do a little bit of writing if i just get a few hours maybe even just one hour of that like i'm
01:22:33nourished for the day i'm continuing to have new ideas i'm continuing to come up with stuff everything
01:22:37feels fresh on the part now go that's got sheffler video like isn't that good that that's something to
01:22:42pull out yeah uh that will be a temptation of growth now it's a strange kind of paradox that the more
01:22:49leverage you have the more distractions you have that sounds great because it allows you to not need to
01:22:54focus on things but it can tempt you to not focus on the main thing and the only thing that matters is
01:23:00keeping that that little flame that sort of kernel that was the beginning of the inspiration like that's
01:23:06what's important and if you do that dude you're going to continue to rip but that's the thing that
01:23:10you need to protect you have to have to have to protect your reading time you have to protect your
01:23:14new idea time yeah i appreciate that i think that that's makes a lot of like you just saying that
01:23:18i'm like yeah i think you're right and the the reading in in the researching was that was what i think is
01:23:27allowed me from the get-go i mean obviously like i was reading researching well before i started making
01:23:32videos and even when i started making videos i was making more feel-good comedy videos i wasn't doing
01:23:37philosophy or societal commentary or talking about the implications that x y or z event has on your life
01:23:46i was just genuinely a kid that was interested in in these things more so classic books not even
01:23:51necessarily philosophy and all of a sudden it's like okay i'm gonna talk about this let's see if people
01:23:58like it and then it happened and so yeah that's definitely my roots so i think you're right i
01:24:03definitely do need to save time and it's hard because i've been you know started to make a little higher
01:24:09value friends started to do a little bit of traveling not a lot but i'm like hey it's easy for me to no
01:24:15longer read or i'm tired on the flight so i just i'm gonna put my head down when that's like a prime
01:24:20opportunity where i can't really do anything else so and that's what you would have done in the past
01:24:24yeah exactly and the limited amount of motivation that you have which everybody does have uh that
01:24:31becomes degraded by having to do things that aren't the main thing yeah last year i did 100 000 miles
01:24:37so it's like three times around the world this year so far we're not even we're just about halfway
01:24:41through the year and i've done like 70 000 miles on flights and like that was not what i was doing
01:24:47when i first started the show yeah which means that i need to be even more aggressive at protecting
01:24:51some areas of my time at a time when there's more compelling seductions that are going to pull you
01:24:57away so alex talks about you know the scene in the matrix where neo is first brought into it and
01:25:04he's walking down the street and there's a woman in the red dress yeah and morpheus says neo were
01:25:08you paying attention to me or were you paying attention to the woman in the red dress and he
01:25:12says look again he turns around it's agent smith with the gun yeah okay being able to say no your
01:25:19capacity to say no is not looking at the woman in the red dress but now imagine as you get more
01:25:24successful that it's not a hypothetical 10 it's a thousand hypothetical one thousands yeah your capacity to
01:25:32say no needs to scale more quickly than your ability to be successful and if you don't get out ahead of
01:25:38it you're going to be seduced by all of these new poles on your time that's fine and that's cool all
01:25:43right and it affords you the opportunity to go to the super bowl and and and hang in this special box
01:25:48because someone loves your videos or whatever it is but if you do that too much you will lose the thing
01:25:55that kept you sharp and i think that that's why a kind of monastic lifestyle that you see a lot of
01:26:02sports stars have like even harlan for all of his fun when it comes to pre-season training i bet that
01:26:08guy's a monk yeah like there will not be a stone that's not over like that's not turned over and
01:26:13looked underneath and uh if he was having all of this fun but not looking after his sleep not looking
01:26:19after his diet he's loose when he's able to be loose but he's not distracted there's a difference
01:26:25between those two things yeah and uh yeah it's it's another curse of competence as you get more effective
01:26:32and there are more opportunities in front of you you need to learn to be able to say no to something
01:26:37that you would have begged to have had the opportunity to say yes to only two years ago
01:26:41it's crazy yeah it's a trip and and i've seen i've gotten a little bit of a taste of it already
01:26:46you know it's like everybody wants to i don't know like leech is not the right word because a lot
01:26:53of these people that i've become friends with are much bigger much more successful than me associate
01:26:58but yeah it's like they the moment that people see that you have some sort of momentum
01:27:05that's very attract that's a very attractive trait you know everyone everyone wants to be your friend
01:27:10now you know i was very much i wasn't even wanting to say anti-social because i try to be social but i
01:27:15never necessarily fit in in my like my later years of high school through college and that has been my
01:27:22biggest advantage ever i would not be sitting here right now if i did not spend all that time alone
01:27:28just really trying to confront myself trying to be honest with myself and figuring out what i wanted
01:27:34to do and then having the balls to to go and start doing it and that's been my biggest advantage but
01:27:38now all of a sudden this guy that i looked up to when i was a kid slid into my dms and he's like yo
01:27:44let's go hang out let's go do this trip yeah heroes become rivals and then your rivals become friends
01:27:49exactly and so it's like wow okay but yeah for me like i said i've just i've gotten so used to being
01:27:56alone that i'm very comfortable with it but yeah it's you're right it's gonna be tempting if someone's
01:28:00like jet do you want to go to the super bowl yeah i want to go to the super bowl like yeah and that
01:28:05happens to a state at a frequency that can end up sapping a lot of what it was that you used to
01:28:11do but yeah it's uh the it is one of the
01:28:18reasons for solace that anybody that's alone should rely on which is you have an opportunity
01:28:24now to focus on developing yourself in a way that you can't if too many people want you
01:28:29and one of the weird things talking as a horrendously unpopular kid and an only child
01:28:36and someone that basically started to learn how to become a human at 18 when i moved to university
01:28:40uh i wonder whether it's giving you the realization it did for me which is kind of the fickleness
01:28:46of sociality yeah that well i'm the same person yep as i was before the differences the trappings and
01:28:54the trimmings that are on the outside and sure i'm sure you've developed yourself into a more
01:29:00uh socially fluid person you've got interesting things to say and you've become more self-conscious
01:29:06and self-aware and yeah that brings a kind of uh authentic sincerity and earnestness to a conversation
01:29:13and that's kind of compelling right like that's beguiling like oh like there's something going on
01:29:17here that's cool which you wouldn't have had before if you were posturing and you were having
01:29:20to play a role and let people kind of have a bit of aversion so some of it will be the development
01:29:25some of it will be the understanding and the information but a good bit of it is dude jet's
01:29:30fucking like he's ripping it the most should we invite he should come to the thing with and you go
01:29:35well you didn't fucking want me before yeah you didn't want me before yeah kenya west's got this
01:29:41thing it's like there's a metro booming edit which i've never been able to re-find again but um it's
01:29:46kenya west talking about how uh people say that they loved the work that i did in the beginning
01:29:56but they didn't love it back then though yeah yeah like uh every time like i'm cracking you a smile in
01:30:042023 but i'm giving you a frown for 2013 and um it's just you know yay's vacillated somewhat over
01:30:16the last few years uh but yeah i mean growing up north chicago always been the biggest kanye west fan
01:30:24always like that dude that his concept of self-belief i would literally go to i'm not i'm not even making
01:30:31this up it sounds cringy i would go to sleep with a compilation of kanye west basically being a
01:30:36narcissist i just i just loved it i just loved the way this guy would talk about himself i'm curious
01:30:41what your thoughts are on that because man everybody hates so narcissism the way that i look at this
01:30:49is that i think everybody's a narcissist but it's a spectrum and there's a healthy side of it and there's
01:30:54an unhealthy side of it and what society calls narcissism or that person's a narcissist they're
01:30:59specifically referring to the more extreme end of that spectrum where it's dangerous where you
01:31:04negatively impact other people's lives but innately humans are selfish creatures we always have our
01:31:10own best interests at hand with the exception of maybe you know you're a parent so you're looking
01:31:14out for your kids or a loved one but i've made videos on this very unpopular as you could assume
01:31:21and i just think if you lean into your narcissism in a healthy way which sounds crazy but that is the
01:31:30ultimate propeller to where you want to go so imagine you're climbing a mountain and you know very
01:31:35metaphorically the mountain is where you want to go in life you're wearing a backpack you could either
01:31:40have an empty backpack which is just having a neutral sense of self you could have rocks that are put in
01:31:46the backpack which is self-doubt or any way that you think that maybe a little bit of imposter syndrome
01:31:51i'm not i'm not that guy or you could have self-belief you could lean into your narcissism in a healthy
01:31:57manner and that backpack turns into a jet pack and then it propels you up that mountain and so i've
01:32:03recognized that like growing up people have always always been like jet you you got you're a little
01:32:09bit of a narcissist not that i would ever negatively impact other people but it was more like you're very
01:32:14self-absorbed very self-absorbed and i said well i have to bet on myself that's the only workable
01:32:19solution i think it's the only workable solution you have to lean into every aspect of yourself
01:32:25build up that belief system not that you should walk around saying wow i'm more valuable of a human
01:32:30than that person not that's not what i'm talking about at all but you need to just relentlessly try to
01:32:36increase your self-belief because everything regresses to the mean in life and the mean is your identity
01:32:43right and your idea like your self-belief creates that identity and so i think that
01:32:49you have to figure out okay what is what is the healthy narcissism and how do i accomplish that
01:32:53because these people that try to be
01:32:57it's kind of what we were saying before the the really humble ones a lot of them are coping a lot
01:33:02of them are coping for the fact that they didn't go where they wanted to be this is a very unpopular
01:33:07opinion within my family they don't like when i talk about this because my i come from a humble family and i'm not really like them
01:33:11but you have you have to bet on yourself you have to think that you're capable of doing this i told my
01:33:18my best friend when i was going to do the social media thing i said i don't know what it is about
01:33:23this i failed at all the other things that i've tried in my life but there's something about this
01:33:26i just i believe i could i can do it i just know if i don't quit i could do it's funny once i started
01:33:32gaining two to three followers a day i was a hundred percent certain that i was going to hit 100k
01:33:37because i told myself i literally would not quit until i hit 100k and there's enough days that i'm
01:33:41going to live to hit that well the interesting thing about survivorship bias is that survivorship bias
01:33:46assumes that you die before you win yeah and if you just don't stop eventually you've rolled the dice
01:33:53enough times to have something that hits yes uh on the ego humility thing it's interesting ego is
01:33:59quite anti-social and humility is quite pro-social in a way in the way that it's interpreted interpreted
01:34:05that um ego causes people around you a lot of the time to have their own shortcomings and
01:34:16self-criticism thrown into harsh contrast uh it also is quite confronting because people think wow
01:34:22he's going to go do that thing that leaves me behind i don't want him to do that thing if i can claw him
01:34:28back or if i can behind his back sort of vent about who does jet think he is yeah talking about himself
01:34:33like that dude that's not even going to work like that's lame or whatever in the hopes that that might
01:34:38just slow it down whereas humility even performative humility is seen as oh he's got his feet on the
01:34:46ground it's nice that he's not not got too big for his boots this is very much a british concern
01:34:52that someone who thinks too highly of themselves is really not liked like it's very very yeah a
01:34:59rigid class structure in the uk you know it's this ossified country that's not being invaded for a
01:35:05thousand years like that's a long time for these power structures to start to drop in but you can
01:35:10tell i don't know whether the same thing is true in america i don't think it is i can tell just by
01:35:14hearing somebody speak what class they were from like underclass working class middle class upper
01:35:21class yeah and have a good in a good indication of what sort of school they went to because it's it's
01:35:27had time to like segment out these like stratified like sedimentary rock or something and um it's
01:35:35determined a lot of the time by the way that somebody speaks in the way that they dress and stuff like
01:35:39that but yeah humility is pro-social because it doesn't it binds the group together by not making
01:35:44anybody be confronted by a differential in the in the power structure and ego is confronting for the
01:35:52exact opposite reason what's what's interesting is i i do believe strongly in the idea that you need to
01:35:59be rootable for you want to be a person that other people want to see win a perfect example of this
01:36:08over the past year or so timothy chalamet went from this guy that everyone was like i love this dude
01:36:14and he's so there's something about him he's just got that swag he's in the way that he walks and then
01:36:19all of a sudden he goes on one of those award shows after he wins and he says i'm really on the pursuit
01:36:24of greatness which to me i loved i was like i like when when yeah timothy chalamet yeah it's like
01:36:29it's like it you have a goal and clearly you're on the path to do it so yeah like go up there and say
01:36:35what you want to do and i felt like he still did in a humble way but you'll find a lot of insecure
01:36:40people or non-confident people they really don't like that even if it like they don't want to have
01:36:46the nuance they people believe what they want to believe and so if they listen to that they'd rather
01:36:50believe that timothy chalamet is a narcissist than someone that's betting on himself and is like
01:36:55really putting himself out there and trying have you looked at ascending in the incel community do you
01:37:00you know what that word means ascending like ascending like just getting better in life
01:37:05getting laid typically or getting attention from women on the sort of lower end so if you're inside
01:37:11of some of the incel communities i think most of them uh ascending would be getting attention from
01:37:18one maybe even as little as the barista in starbucks her eyes sort of lingered on me a little bit longer
01:37:24then i think maybe she was flirting with me and ascending is you're seen as persona non grata if
01:37:31you do that inside of the incel community and the reason i think that's the case is that if somebody
01:37:37that i saw as my equal who was afflicted with the same uh issue that i believe that i have is able to
01:37:45bring themselves out of this issue that now makes it the potential for hope for me becomes uh it's
01:37:56brought into reality and that means that now maybe the fact that i feel like i'm afflicted with this
01:38:03thing is not a life sentence but it's actually inside of my control and i have agency over this
01:38:08and the fact that i haven't gotten out of this problem so they're seen they're literally seen as
01:38:12fake cells as somebody who ascends is say well you weren't truly an incel you weren't like us
01:38:17so there's an immediate othering of somebody who doesn't comport with the same issue that everybody
01:38:23else has it couldn't be that everybody has the potential to do this it has to be that that
01:38:30person wasn't a part of our group in the first place and uh yeah i i when you think about the
01:38:39how much people are held back by the fear of others judging them for having self-belief i think that
01:38:46far more people fail due to a lack of support than a lack of competence and if you just had a couple more
01:38:53people in your life that believed in you you'd probably be able to get 10 times further yeah there's
01:38:57a line from george mack my housemate that says there is a guy out there with half your talent
01:39:01and five times your self-belief making 10 times the money yep and it's just yeah right well i think
01:39:11the way that i look at it in in the the support side of things is honestly support like it'd be not
01:39:18it's nice to have it but i'm gonna go to where i want to go regardless and all all those nights those
01:39:24consecutive nights where i would stay up till 4 a.m just grinding whether or not my friend who lives on
01:39:30you know my family moved out of my hometown and i don't live i haven't been in my hometown in years
01:39:36and i don't talk to those people that much anymore so if they support me or not i could
01:39:40give a fuck and then i have no friends where i moved and so it's like okay i'm just gonna do this on
01:39:46my own because like you were saying like we were talking about before it's like optimal game theory okay
01:39:50you got dealt shit cards i'm not saying i got dealt shit cards but you're not in the optimal position
01:39:54now so what are you gonna fuss about it or are you gonna like just do something and it's interesting
01:39:58you talk about the idea that oh if you see someone else doing it then it's like oh you know i have
01:40:02agency i could do it people really don't want to support you if you do well because especially
01:40:08if they grew up near you because you you you become a mirror to them right if i come from the
01:40:15same place as other people and then more or less got the same opportunities we go to the same school
01:40:20but now they go on instagram they see that jet is getting some views he's getting recognition and get
01:40:25put in the public eye whatever that's going to tell them well i'm really no different than jet we came
01:40:31from the same place he's there i'm not so now they get you know pissed about it and they're projecting
01:40:38and they're like oh my gosh i hate this guy because you were talking about the incels and i have
01:40:43i had a youtube channel i started at the beginning of this year and it gained traction pretty fast i got
01:40:48like 200 000 subscribers in the first two and a half three months and i became very popular amongst
01:40:57that sort of underground people that felt like the system was against them community and a lot of that
01:41:04community is incels and of course i never went on these on my youtube videos and said oh i'm an incel i
01:41:10never claimed that or anything like that but what happened was long and in my videos i would talk
01:41:17about i mean yeah like naturally if i have a lot of followers on instagram yeah girls are going to
01:41:22slide into my dms i wasn't being cocky about it but i there's really no good way to address it because
01:41:27they'll be mad if you don't address it because then they're like he's lying yeah and if you do address
01:41:31it then you're seen as cocky so you gotta you know if you addressed it and had said that there were
01:41:35no girls in your dms that would have been fine well it would have been fake it would have been a lie
01:41:40but it would have been fine that would have been like oh actually yeah okay i'm not throwing it are
01:41:45you familiar with the term larping yeah so everyone's like oh just just like the biggest starper ever
01:41:50because what ended up happening was and i never this is what i hate i never lied about it i was always
01:41:55truthful about my life i become friends with this big influencer very wealthy i end up going to um
01:42:02his birthday party it's on the east coast i go there and so i there were some girls there i don't
01:42:08know if they were instagram models or whatever they wanted to take a picture of me it was not that deep
01:42:12at all it goes on social media and then i posted a video where i was like oh it was like kind of like
01:42:17a motivational video if you work hard at a specific thing you have to be smart about what you work hard
01:42:22on because if you work hard in corporate yeah maybe life is not you're not going to be rich because
01:42:27you're selling your time for money you can never get rich off doing that you need there needs to be
01:42:31the potential for you know an increase and an appreciation over time but i went and i posted that
01:42:36video and you know my entire community turned their back against me they they had a they were throwing a
01:42:42shit show they were mad about it and they were like oh this jet guy he's faking he's larping he's too
01:42:47good looking to have been socially excluded growing up it's like there's not a picture of like i'll i'll
01:42:54give you my life savings right now if you can find a picture of me going to any school dance prom
01:42:59i didn't go to graduation i didn't go to anything i truly was isolated but these people could not
01:43:04comprehend the fact that now that i started to level up in life it's like you either die here or you
01:43:10live long enough to see yourself become the villain and they just came after me and they were like this
01:43:15guy he's six five like i never even lied about my height online i just when you go online and just
01:43:21like you're six five that's like oh that's cocky or they would say i'm lying so i was like so i just
01:43:27like wouldn't mention it i i was on a very popular looks max your stream and they were like asking me
01:43:32how tall i was i was like i'm six five and everyone thought i was bullshitting everyone on the internet
01:43:35was like this dude's not six five and then a picture came out with me working out with some
01:43:40fitness influencers and they're like dude this guy's six five like there's no way that he has
01:43:43life heart it's like what do you like so you can't win with these people but anyways they really were
01:43:48mad about me basically leveling up and they're like yeah he always had friends it's like so this guy
01:43:54was an influencer why would you think that i would be friends with them before i ever started doing
01:43:57content or like i don't know but like you were saying about that whole like incel community it's kind of
01:44:02the same thing happened for me but i've never been a part of the incel community i've always been a part of the
01:44:08okay like male loneliness epidemic that that was more my target audience well it's the narcissism of small
01:44:14differences right if you go to the same school as somebody else and you have ostensibly similar skills
01:44:20the difference in your outcomes is on them it's on their like imagine a split test universe in which
01:44:28one of them you end up being a real success and in another one you end up being a real failure the guy
01:44:33that was the failure would feel really bad because he had all of the raw materials to become the guy
01:44:37that was the success like true hell is when the person that you are meets the person that you could
01:44:40have been and yeah a lot of the time people feel like well i grew up with that guy and he was no more
01:44:48special than i was this is one of the things i think is kind of interesting about uh content creation
01:44:54generally and the fact that lots of people consume lots of podcasts youtube instagram and the issue that you have
01:45:01there is the talent delta is not as obvious as doing something that is more refined like playing a
01:45:09musical instrument or being great at basketball most people i mean if you sat anybody down with two
01:45:16microphones they have technically recorded a podcast no matter how big of a car crash that could be
01:45:21if you give somebody a saxophone they cannot reliably make a note come out of it especially if they're
01:45:26untrained so because the expertise skill delta doesn't feel as inaccessible the small differences
01:45:36become even smaller like very few people are looking at steph curry and going fucking steph curry dude
01:45:40like the only reason that he got that is because his dad was in the nba it's like no the dude's a
01:45:44generational talent who literally changed the points game of nba of basketball the way that that game's
01:45:51played regardless of whether his dad was great or not which he was but steph went and did his own
01:45:57thing no one's looking at that and saying the only reason that he's got that because no one can do what
01:46:01he does the more that people think that they can do what you do the less respect they have for you doing
01:46:08yeah does that make sense 100 100 because i i've seen so many videos yeah this one guy made a video
01:46:16and it got like 300 000 views and he you know said he was going to sexually assault me in a more graphic
01:46:22using more graphic terms okay cool and he's he literally like video is a statistical outlier on his
01:46:30channel you know all my haters are going to go watch that video and then he makes another one another
01:46:36statistical outlier and he's not really making any points he's just like i hate this guy and then
01:46:39eventually he makes a video and he goes you know the real reason why i hate this jet guy is because
01:46:44i make the same content as him and he's like i do the same and it's like you go it's not the same
01:46:48this guy is completely delusional it's it's object like he's recording on it it's like an android from
01:46:54like 2010 or something i'm like first off your camera quality sucks but he's like yeah this guy he
01:47:00he he's just as basic as everyone else he just has a better face so that's why everyone and it's like
01:47:04oh okay first off holy cope but second off it's like if people assume that they can do what you're
01:47:12doing but you're getting big off it they're hating you more like you said do you know who the streamer
01:47:16rakai is oh is that the dude that did the beasts thing and was kind of the villain he was like the
01:47:24he's like a bit of a villain dude mr beast no rakai he did a a hundred streamers compete for cash
01:47:30i swear he's like kind of a bit of a nuisance or he is he well he okay i don't know if i'm not like
01:47:35super familiar with him but right he's very young very young i don't even think he's graduated high
01:47:40school yet and he's just kind of hollow headed trying to find like he's he's not the sharpest tool in the
01:47:48shed and but he just he acts crazy he doesn't really speak english so he he like he speaks english that's
01:47:55his language but you can't understand him and that's the joke about him online but anyways this
01:47:59kid is he has it is the one that i meant streamer rakai participate in the highly publicized mr beast
01:48:05one million dollar streamer challenge video his intensely competitive aggressive play style and
01:48:09interaction to the creators made him one of the most talked about controversial figures in the event
01:48:13yes i do know who you mean yeah so this so this guy is one of the most hated people on the internet and
01:48:19just the reason to sum it up and people are they don't understand they don't understand this they
01:48:23don't consciously know that this is why but this guy doesn't even talk good english he doesn't
01:48:29do anything necessarily exceptional but so they look at that and they're like i could do that i could do
01:48:35that but not only that i could do it better i'm smarter than him but yeah you know i i have feel no
01:48:41negative way towards that guy i'm not trying to knock him in any way but yeah of course so people
01:48:46are like oh i can i can easily be that type of guy like with the streamer stuff i have a i have a
01:48:51friend of mine who is trying to make it as a streamer and the thing about is all these underground
01:48:56streamers these people that are trying to come up it's just copy paste copy paste copy paste and i
01:49:01was telling him i was like respectfully how in the world are you ever going to make it if you are the
01:49:07product and there's no product differentiation how in the world are you going to make it you know he
01:49:12went to streamer university i'm not sure if you're familiar with that but kai sanat one of the biggest
01:49:17not even just streamers content creators in the world does this thing once a year now where he invites
01:49:22out all these streamers to this like school for like a week or something and it's like class and it's
01:49:28just an entertainment thing it's nothing too serious but people literally quit their jobs they drive
01:49:33across the country to go to these auditions but the thing is kai sanat only lets in already known people
01:49:41and all these other people it's like you you you watch the videos and the footage and you know the
01:49:46cops had to shut it down it's just copy paste copy paste copy paste these people have the same
01:49:49personalities and i was telling my friend i was like i'm obviously going to support you and i've always
01:49:55been like hey you need to keep doing this thing but it's like if you're doing the same thing that
01:49:59everyone else is doing how do you how in the world do you think at some point there's going to be like a
01:50:03a switch that's flipped because back in the day you could record you could get three viral videos and
01:50:08all of a sudden you're a known person on vine nowadays you record 50 and you're still and then you don't
01:50:13drop something for a week and you fell off so like things have to you just have to keep on
01:50:19relentlessly getting these viral clips but what makes clips for the big people go viral is the fact
01:50:23that it's the big people in the clip not that they're necessarily entertaining in and of itself
01:50:27so you have to put your time in the game and yeah people are just really mad because they're
01:50:31like i don't understand why i can't be where i want to be well you have to find a way to product
01:50:36differentiate and you know maybe the the reason that you're not succeeding as much as me or as much as
01:50:42someone else is simply because you're you're not that person like you you didn't do like you think you
01:50:47are but you're not that person and that's the biggest issue everyone is just projecting oh i i deserve
01:50:52to be x y and z when i was at the bottom i would when i when i had you know less than 10 000 followers i
01:50:59would find other creators in a somewhat similar niches me that had around a little bit more followers
01:51:04than me and i would literally look at their videos and be like that is i would be like i am so much
01:51:10but like i would convince i'm like my videos are so much better and slowly but surely i start getting
01:51:15past them and then i'm like all right then who's the next one who's the next one and like we were
01:51:19talking about before that goal post never ends there's always someone else correct but i was
01:51:22like i would get i would get mad at it and i thought i was better but i didn't really do nothing
01:51:28about it i did something about it and that's sort of the difference well the difference is between
01:51:34simulating what somebody else does and learning inspiration that can help you improve right the
01:51:40best that you can hope for if you're trying to be somebody else is to be the second best in the
01:51:44world yeah right at being them yeah and you are the zero in the world of being yourself naval ravicon he
01:51:51said you escape competition through authenticity yeah and what's what's that there's peter thiel has a
01:51:57quote where he's what is it i made a video about this i'm trying to think about it he he said um
01:52:05competition is for losers and so in other words you're a loser if you're not being authentic
01:52:11if you if you correlate that with what naval ravicon said because you know you're like you beat competition
01:52:17by being authentic so you beat being a loser by being authentic and so i i was like wow that's just
01:52:23it's such a basic simple thing but people don't really internalize it they don't understand it
01:52:27authenticity is an interesting one because what everybody likes the idea of is seeing a person who
01:52:35is just being themselves there's no filter they're not playing a game they're not trying to perform
01:52:40they're not trying to finesse me into believing that there's something that they're not or pretend
01:52:44that they're not something that they are but there's kind of a there's like a a window of tolerance
01:52:52that people are prepared to live inside of and as soon as you get outside of it what you realize is
01:52:57that the internet is desperate for authenticity but it's allergic to sincerity yeah that's interesting like if you are
01:53:04genuinely sincere genuinely earnest about something like you go through a hard time and you talk about
01:53:11it in with some beautiful montage over the top and it's sort of all fluffy and bubbly at the end it's
01:53:18the wise question right like how deep do you go with the why whereas if you see a dude do an instagram video
01:53:23and he breaks down crying in it oh no that's too much sincerity i didn't i wasn't that i have an aversion
01:53:31to that and this kind of just goes to show how limited the internet's preparedness for empathy is
01:53:40and also how narrow most people's tolerance for an emotional window is it's like you're allergic to
01:53:47somebody genuinely showing their emotions especially when they're out of control if it doesn't seem like
01:53:52they are in control of the way that they're operating anymore that seems like a lack of congruence a lack
01:53:57of competence uh yeah yeah internet is desperate for authenticity and allergic to sincerity you know
01:54:03it's interesting robert green says that authenticity is and it doesn't exist and i was thinking about that
01:54:12and i think when people say authenticity or that person is authentic it's like let's say there's a spectrum
01:54:20and they're closer to their genuine self than the average person and then you're like oh that person's
01:54:26authentic but they're not truly if you take it in the absolute sense of the word they're not truly authentic
01:54:34because i think that would probably be social suicide right like if you
01:54:38yeah really just say what you believe listen i was when i was in high school this was the whole
01:54:44thing i wasn't very well liked when i was in high school and kind of the reason was because i was
01:54:47part of it was i was resentful i started reading a lot of books and and i got smart and it's like
01:54:51the dunning-kruger effect i thought i was i was a lot smarter than everyone else when in reality i really
01:54:55didn't know much but a big thing was i really thought that honesty was completely virtuous and
01:55:05just being as wrong as honest with someone was like the best thing you could do which now is just not
01:55:10true like now i know that to be not true to give you an example this is gonna make me this this sounds
01:55:16crazy and i do not like anyone that's listening to this do not do this but we were at a one of those
01:55:21football games on a friday night and i went there and this girl probably i think she was under the
01:55:26influence and she was like she she just straight up asked me do you think i'm pretty and i'm like
01:55:31here we go with this like fishing like i was i was like i was like no but i didn't say it in a
01:55:37mean way i was just like no in a very neutral way and she's like what do you mean do you think i'm ugly
01:55:43and i was like yes which is insanely immature but that was how i felt and i thought that that
01:55:50was okay and also i wouldn't go out of my way to say that to someone ever but she asked me so i
01:55:55thought it was right away that didn't go over well so that didn't go over well i got a a bunch of
01:55:59pushback and i remember i would go home and i'd be like oh my god these these people yeah pushback
01:56:04for whatever that means in high school and and uh and yeah i mean no wonder these people didn't like
01:56:13me i think they were totally valid for not liking me but i would go home and i would be like i was in
01:56:18the right there i was in the right but it's like okay what do you like this is such kindergarten like
01:56:24what this is such psychologically infantile type of activity i don't know yeah i mean look have you ever
01:56:30read sam harris's essay lying to our long book he wrote he wrote it with his wife it's great it's
01:56:36like a 60 page treatise on why you should wait is this the one where he says if your wife is pregnant
01:56:42she asks you if she looks good oh yes i read that a long time ago it's pretty good people should people
01:56:47should revisit it i think you can get it for free online and there's an audible version too it's like
01:56:50basically a long podcast it's just an essay and he wrote it with his wife interestingly enough
01:56:55um there is definitely a like philosophical underpinning where you can say any lie including
01:57:02a white lie at any time is a bad idea like the anne frank in the attic thing it's like just go up and
01:57:06get her no worries but functionally it can put you in situations like this right and i think that you
01:57:13can have a kind of decorum you can be classy in the way that you sort of show up like you can say
01:57:19things that don't fully it's like look there's a type of goal for everyone and i'm sure that i'm not
01:57:25for you uh but you know i i don't think that we'd make a great couple and you're like whatever the
01:57:31fuck and then you're like okay i'm actually getting out of that scot-free um but there is like if you
01:57:37take the like the autism pill and decide like i am going to completely fucking tell the truth at all
01:57:44times yeah you end up in situations like this where a girl that's drunk on a friday night at a
01:57:48football game just wants to hear from some boy that she's like cute or whatever and what she gets is
01:57:56like a existential kick in the nuts um so dude you're fucking awesome i think everyone should go
01:58:02and subscribe to your channel where should people go to check out everything you've got going on
01:58:05uh jet franzen with j-e-t-t-t-t's on social media with instagram tick tock and then yeah if you just
01:58:14search up my name on on youtube it should show up i think it's got like a some other in the name but
01:58:21just search up jeff franzen and you'll probably get a 50 videos of people shitting on me so that's
01:58:27well i searched you and it seems to be your content and your stuff rules i think you're great man and uh
01:58:32keep going i'm gonna be i'm gonna be watching i'm gonna be supporting from the sidelines shout out
01:58:36your dad as well yeah shout out my dad yeah thank you so much for having me bro this is honest this is
01:58:40an honor seriously he crushed it man he crushed it all right goodbye my beauties see you next time bro
01:58:45yes yes dude that's it well done dude i enjoyed that
01:58:53thank you very much for tuning in if you enjoyed that episode another one that i know you love it's just here
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